Intro (TW - prior loss mentioned)
Jan 15, 2018 9:20:40 GMT -6
Post by Nymeria on Jan 15, 2018 9:20:40 GMT -6
Good morning! Congrats to everyone already hanging out here!
After the shock of my life over the weekend, I go here. I was fully expecting my period to show up over the weekend and realized Friday I hadn't seen any spotting yet which is unusual for me. I tested Saturday morning just to make sure it was negative, and since I'm here, obviously it wasn't.
So hi, I'm Nymeria and I'm expecting a S'18 little one. Based on my last period, I'm due September 20, a week after our first turns 2. We had planned to start TFAS in June, but I guess nature had other plans. This will be my third pregnancy. My first ended in a MMC at ~8 weeks, the second gave us our rainbow baby "R", born 9/13/16. I'm actually still breastfeeding R, so that's something I'll have to figure out. I'll have to give the dr office a call today - they like to bring you in for a confirmation appointment. I'm hoping to get an early ultrasound scheduled. This was only my third PP period and they had each been different lengths so it would probably be good to confirm how far along I actually am. As of now, I'm assuming 4w4.
ETA: I'm a wicked Patriots fan!! That felt important to add this time of year.
Word vomit / TW - emotions around unplanned pregnancy below
I feel somewhat lost right now. Like I'm going to wake up and this is a dream. Yes we planned on TFAS in the not too distant future, but I'm having a hard time with the surprise.
I'm trying to not let upcoming events affect how I feel, but I'm having a hard time with that. My brother is getting married in June, and I'm a bridesmaid. I really wanted to wait until after the wedding. I already have my dress and I'm worried about it not fitting (although I tried it on again yesterday and I think it's doable with some alterations). I also have tickets to the Game of Thrones concert at the end of September and while this shouldn't even be on the radar of things to think about, I'm already worried about having a newborn and not being able to go. Or what happens if I have the baby a little early and I'm in the hospital for DS's birthday. All sorts of things I shouldn't be worrying about, I can't get out of my mind.
I came across something online that said "Unplanned does not mean unloved or unwanted. It means life knew what I needed before I did." I'm trying to hold on to this thought. I know everything will be ok in the long run, but I'm struggling right now. I feel embarrassed that I "let" this happen. I feel guilty for not being completely excited about it. I had just gotten to the point where I was feeling ready to start trying again soon, and bam! I'm already feeling guilty about adding a sibling to DS's life, even though we always intended on having a second. Our dog hasn't been a huge fan of not being the "only child" so I feel guilty we're changing his life more (granted he's still a spoiled, well-cared for dog!!).
Then I feel wrong for having all these feelings. Heaven-forbid something were to happen with this pregnancy, I don't want to be upset with myself for having all these less than stellar emotions.
If anyone has any suggestions or tips on how to work through this, I would be more than happy to read them. In the meantime I'm just taking it an hour at a time, and trying to concentrate at work.
After the shock of my life over the weekend, I go here. I was fully expecting my period to show up over the weekend and realized Friday I hadn't seen any spotting yet which is unusual for me. I tested Saturday morning just to make sure it was negative, and since I'm here, obviously it wasn't.
So hi, I'm Nymeria and I'm expecting a S'18 little one. Based on my last period, I'm due September 20, a week after our first turns 2. We had planned to start TFAS in June, but I guess nature had other plans. This will be my third pregnancy. My first ended in a MMC at ~8 weeks, the second gave us our rainbow baby "R", born 9/13/16. I'm actually still breastfeeding R, so that's something I'll have to figure out. I'll have to give the dr office a call today - they like to bring you in for a confirmation appointment. I'm hoping to get an early ultrasound scheduled. This was only my third PP period and they had each been different lengths so it would probably be good to confirm how far along I actually am. As of now, I'm assuming 4w4.
ETA: I'm a wicked Patriots fan!! That felt important to add this time of year.
Word vomit / TW - emotions around unplanned pregnancy below
I feel somewhat lost right now. Like I'm going to wake up and this is a dream. Yes we planned on TFAS in the not too distant future, but I'm having a hard time with the surprise.
I'm trying to not let upcoming events affect how I feel, but I'm having a hard time with that. My brother is getting married in June, and I'm a bridesmaid. I really wanted to wait until after the wedding. I already have my dress and I'm worried about it not fitting (although I tried it on again yesterday and I think it's doable with some alterations). I also have tickets to the Game of Thrones concert at the end of September and while this shouldn't even be on the radar of things to think about, I'm already worried about having a newborn and not being able to go. Or what happens if I have the baby a little early and I'm in the hospital for DS's birthday. All sorts of things I shouldn't be worrying about, I can't get out of my mind.
I came across something online that said "Unplanned does not mean unloved or unwanted. It means life knew what I needed before I did." I'm trying to hold on to this thought. I know everything will be ok in the long run, but I'm struggling right now. I feel embarrassed that I "let" this happen. I feel guilty for not being completely excited about it. I had just gotten to the point where I was feeling ready to start trying again soon, and bam! I'm already feeling guilty about adding a sibling to DS's life, even though we always intended on having a second. Our dog hasn't been a huge fan of not being the "only child" so I feel guilty we're changing his life more (granted he's still a spoiled, well-cared for dog!!).
Then I feel wrong for having all these feelings. Heaven-forbid something were to happen with this pregnancy, I don't want to be upset with myself for having all these less than stellar emotions.
If anyone has any suggestions or tips on how to work through this, I would be more than happy to read them. In the meantime I'm just taking it an hour at a time, and trying to concentrate at work.
I am also still nursing my DS and plan to continue during this pregnancy. I'll likely actually introduce myself on the extended bfing threads because I'm sure I'll have questions along the way and I don't know anyone IRL who's nursed while PG! 
