TTCAL 12/19

[sammysam]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**



How are you doing?



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions:



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : 

[sammysam]

How are you doing? OK.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): NA



Updates/questions: none



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I think I missed my positive OPK this month. I was sure it was coming and then it just didn't. We hit one day in what might have been the fertile window but I'm pretty sure we're out this month. And I'm ok with that. Except we keep getting Xmas pregnancy announcements which are bothering me more than I think they should. I just keep thinking I should be having a baby in 3 months...

[akwild]

How are you doing? I think I am crazy



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Ttc



Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a



Updates/questions: we hit 2 days in my FW. I’ve had heartburn the last 2 days and M’s shampoo smells too strong. I don’t know if it’s all in my head. Ovia puts my testing day on the 26th. I don’t know what to think.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I got a uti on Friday so I don’t know if that’s adding my to crazy symptom spotting craziness.

[Radley]

How are you doing? I have a cold so, eh.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched



Diagnosis (if applicable): non-STD PID related fertility issues, non alcoholic liver disease, swollen spleen.



Updates/questions: none really. Down another pound, Whoo hoo! And a little less than 3 months until we can do scans again.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : none today. I vented a little in the last thread.

[sunshiney]

How are you doing? Feeling at peace and vaguely optimistic. Lacking sleep but looking forward to a long winter break! (I work at a school.)

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC AF!

Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL, possible MFI

Updates/questions: Saw RE yesterday, they will give DH an SA (following up on urologist's widely varied results), then either we try 3 more months (total of 6) before moving into testing/treatment, or we'll jump into IUI if there's really an issue.

Debbie downer (a place to vent ): *TW*


We were streaming our church last week, and the sermon intro was "cute/funny online PG announcements" (no idea how that related to the sermon honestly) leading into the pastor's perfect cute photo announcing their 2nd PG. Soooo happy we were on our couch because it took me a few minutes of reacting (from shock and anger to sadness and cursing) before I could get it out of my system and listen to the rest of the message. Is it just me or is that rude? When the other pastor talked about fathers recently, he made it a point to talk about how there are all different types of experiences with fathers, from terrible to great...it just feels like there is no awareness or sensitivity about things like loss and infertility, when they affect huge numbers of people.

[mirabelle]

sunshiney that sounds like a really uncomfortable experience, I am noticing how insensitive the world outside of HIH is to loss and IF... makes me appreciate this safe space all the more.

How are you doing? So tired, cannot sleep well at night. I think the upcoming holiday celebrations are making me anxious.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC



Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS


Updates/questions: do any of you take anything outside of a daily prenatal vitamin?

Up to my full dosage of metformin and feeling good on the weightloss side of things, just cannot sleep very well.


Debbie downer (a place to vent): feeling like the grinch, wishing time away and I feel guilty about it.

[sammysam]

sunshiney Sorry you had to deal with that. I think many people are just completely oblivious...especially if they haven't dealt with it themselves...and (this is my opinion only) especially men. Even my SO has no concept of how it affected me. His friend who I saw last just before I hemorrhaged (so I still had a bit of a bump) asked my SO the other day if I was pregnant the last time he saw me. My SO just said no. I got a little pissed at him and told him I would prefer him to say yes and that we lost the pregnancy but he couldn't understand why...

akwild FX those are all good signs and end up leading to a BFP:)

[sammysam]

mirabelle All you need is a daily prenatal. I asked my OB when we got cleared to try again. I'm on iron supplements as well but that's only because my body is still recovering from the blood loss...but hopefully I will be able to stop those in a month or two.

[MsG]

How are you doing? Ok.


Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC


Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS, MFI


Updates/questions: So we had an RE appt today, and the RE seemed a little baffled by our test results and history. On the one hand, my husband has been given an MFI diagnosis and the RE said his numbers would indicate we need to do IVF. On the other hand, we got pregnant shortly after that diagnosis naturally. He wants to redo a lot of our testing and then go from there, but he did say that we might be able to try IUI before we go to IVF.

The problem is my insurance covers $0 of anything, and each round of IUI will cost me roughly $2k. He also thinks the maximum success odds I could expect would be 15%. If I do three or four of those cycles, all of a sudden I'm almost at the cost of a round of IVF which has a much higher success rate. I can't really afford to do a bunch of IUI and then do IVF, but IVF out of pocket is a stretch too. So I feel like I'm taking a gamble no matter what.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : Nothing to really vent about at the moment other than just trying to process everything.

Read more: howeverithappened.proboards.com/thread/10312/ttcal-12-19#ixzz51pxcL5pG

[MsG]

akwild , Fingers crossed for your BFP, but I wouldn't read too much into your symptoms yet. Ovia suggests taking a pregnancy test at 12 dpo, which would put you at around 6 now? Which is almost certainly too early for implantation to have happened and definitely too early for pregnancy symptoms. Stupid progesterone during the luteal phase can give all kinds of symptoms .

mirabelle , All I take is a pre-natal too. I see so many people taking all kinds of supplements, but unless I get a diagnosed reason to and a doctor recommendation, I generally don't think it's a good idea to take things.

sunshiney , I'm sorry you experienced that. People are so insensitive! I just think if you haven't experienced IF or loss, you do not get it at all.

Radley, WHOO HOOO! Congrats on getting down another pound! That's amazing!

sammysam , I'm hating the holidays for the same reason. SO OVER ALL THESE ANNOUNCEMENTS. And this is the second Christmas in a row where I expected to be pregnant but am instead grieving a recent loss. I'm starting to really hate Christmas.

[akwild]

Thanks MsG I know it could all be in my head. Just every once and a while I think maybe? I broke down and bought some tests today. But with absolutely no plans of testing unless I miss cd1.

[MsG]

akwild, It's so hard not to symptom spot! I don't but the only reason being that with both of my pregnancies, I had absolutely no clue. And every month where I thought I had symptoms, I wasn't pregnant. So I'm just negative Nancy about it all now. I just assume anything I am feeling isn't pregnancy.

[sammysam]

So...I FINALLY got a positive OPK reading...almost 10 days later than when I expected it (based on almost every one of my cycles). Obviously we totally missed the window...and I didn't tell SO until I knew it would be too late to try. And now I'm a little sad with myself for not taking advantage of it. My head is just all kinds of messed up about TTC. I want to be pregnant just don't want to TTC. And now knowing there is absolutely no chance for this month is making me sad.

But...I found a way to use my AVA bracelet so it doesn't give me a rash. AND we got the sweetest little floppy lop bunny last week (and we have another bunny coming tonight) so at least I get bunny snuggles to make me feel better:)

[sammysam]

MsG That's a tough decision to have to make! Do you think you'll keep trying naturally for a while or jump right to IUI or IVF?

[MsG]

sammysam, Since we got a natural BFP after the MFI diagnosis and we're now seeing a new RE (b/c we relocated), he wants to redo the semen analysis to see if anything changed. But I think even if it hasn't, we may try naturally for a few months and just see. It's just so much money!

On another note, are you in the Ava Ambassadors Facebook group? I'm burning all the vacation I didn't use this year, so I'm off of work and finding myself spending way too much time in there.

[sammysam]

MsG TTC is so frustrating!

I don't have a Facebook account (I'm a high school teacher and our union strongly discourages us from using social media) so I can't join the group:(

[MsG]

sammysam, Ah got it! I'll say I like the group b/c it is super active and it's nice to see so much engagement. Though there is plenty of completely off the wall stuff in there too.

How are you liking the AVA so far?

[mirabelle]

sammysam glad the bracelet may workout after all.

[charliefox]

How are you doing? Meh, H and I have been struggling a bit, it's hard to support one another when we're both experiencing a loss.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC if my HCG ever goes down to 0

Diagnosis (if applicable): unexplained 2IF

Updates/questions: nada

Debbie downer (a place to vent): **TW: LC mentioned** I'm annoyed because I was hoping my HCG would be back down and I could try to put this behind me before Christmas but it looks like that isn't going to happen. DS (2) was conceived a few days before Xmas and it makes me really sad that now he will be at least 3 years older than his sibling. The age gap thing is upsetting to H and I, that's what we're both most upset about this time around. Grrr. Stupid IF, stupid MC.

[sammysam]

charliefox I hear you on the age gap. We will end up with at least a 5 year gap or close to. I was interviewing students recently and a number of them have huge age gaps between them and their sibling(s) and they were all telling me how great the age gap is. I'm actually much more ok with it now than I was.

MsG The AVA is great. I really like it. I had to take a break from it as I got a terrible rash on my wrist from it that took quite a while to heal so I just started wearing it again...but I do quite love it. I only keep it on for 4 to 5 hours a night but that's all it needs. I will be interested to see when I get through a full cycle with it. How do you like yours?

[MsG]

Dec 21, 2017 18:54:04 GMT -6 sammysam said:

charliefox I hear you on the age gap. We will end up with at least a 5 year gap or close to. I was interviewing students recently and a number of them have huge age gaps between them and their sibling(s) and they were all telling me how great the age gap is. I'm actually much more ok with it now than I was.

MsG The AVA is great. I really like it. I had to take a break from it as I got a terrible rash on my wrist from it that took quite a while to heal so I just started wearing it again...but I do quite love it. I only keep it on for 4 to 5 hours a night but that's all it needs. I will be interested to see when I get through a full cycle with it. How do you like yours?

I'm also loving it. I've seen a ton of people who had the rash in the Ava group, but I haven't had any issue. It's offering me reassurance that I'm right about when I ovulate/reassuring me that I am in fact ovulating, so that's been super great. And honestly I just love the data. I was already looking to my Fitbit for how my heart rate correlates to my cycle, but this just makes it so much easier. I like the ease of collecting and charting all the data.

[sammysam]

MsG I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who got a rash. I was worried there was something wrong with the bracelet originally but I just switch wrists every night now and it seems to do the trick.

I'm glad you're liking yours too. I'm going to continue with OPKs for now just to see how they correlate but I'm hoping I can drop them if this seems to get my cycles figured out.

[MsG]

sammysam, I'm still doing the OPKs as well for the same reason. I had originally thought I'd stop them after a few months, but now that I'm a month in, I think I'm way to obsessive to actually ever give them up.

Side note on the rash, it sounds like there are two causes. If it's under the latch, it could be a nickel allergy. If it's under the band or the sensor itself, they recommend using a Q-Tip dipped in rubbing alcohol to wipe it down daily.

Apparently they typically don't want you switching back and forth nightly b/c it can make your readings less consistent.

[sammysam]

MsG Thank you! It's under the sensor. I'll try the rubbing alcohol and see if that helps. I figured it probably wasn't a good idea to switch back and forth. I'll try to start wearing it again on CD1 whenever that shows up!

[MsG]

sammysam, Fingers crossed it helps . If it doesn't and I were in your shoes, I'd probably keep switching it. It's gotta be better than a rash! If any other questions come up, hit me up. People ask everything under the sun in the Facebook group so I'm sure I can probably find an answer in it!

[sammysam]

MsG Thank you so much! I might bug you with other things that come up:)