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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 10:38:21 GMT -6
((Hugs))
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honda
Sapphire
Posts: 2,955 Likes: 13,425
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Post by honda on Jun 1, 2017 10:41:41 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. All the hugs and hair pats.
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NamasteBirches
Global Moderator
Echelon ♥️, Family LIfe
yo
Posts: 7,622 Likes: 18,030
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Post by NamasteBirches on Jun 1, 2017 10:42:12 GMT -6
Hugs to you @blanche
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NamasteBirches
Global Moderator
Echelon ♥️, Family LIfe
yo
Posts: 7,622 Likes: 18,030
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Post by NamasteBirches on Jun 1, 2017 10:42:41 GMT -6
& happy anniversary!
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kclause
Bronze
Posts: 155 Likes: 244
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Post by kclause on Jun 1, 2017 10:45:49 GMT -6
First off Happy Anniversary!
I have a similar story. My dad was always in and out of my life, mainly when it suited him. I actually chose to have my stepfather walk me down the aisle at my wedding. About two months after that I received a letter from my bio father outlining all the ways I was a horrible daughter and basically stating that he would not speak to me until I apologized. I didn't speak to him for about a year until I was pregnant with ds. To this day I really don't have a relationship with him. He'll FaceTime the kiddos but that's about it. Some days it really gets me down. I can't understand how someone can just choose to not love and be around their own child. I struggled many years with feeling like it must be my fault somehow. However, I have to remind myself that while he is a shitty person, I am not the one to blame. He made the choice to not be there. I know it's hard sometimes to understand why your father made the choices he did, but remember not to blame yourself. I saw how much of an effort I had made to have a relationship and finally just had to let go. I don't think the feelings ever truly go away, no matter how crappy a father is the yearning for that relationship is still there.
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Post by Bubblegum on Jun 1, 2017 10:45:52 GMT -6
Hugs and hair pats. Happy anniversary, hope you have a great day with your H.
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Post by sweetc129 on Jun 1, 2017 10:47:11 GMT -6
((HUGS))
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leo91
Gold
Posts: 653 Likes: 3,295
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Post by leo91 on Jun 1, 2017 10:50:57 GMT -6
Hugs and hair pats ❤️
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pumpkin
Sapphire
Posts: 3,338 Likes: 6,927
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Post by pumpkin on Jun 1, 2017 10:51:00 GMT -6
That is a tough one! I am sorry! ((hugs))
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amylou
Bronze
Posts: 239 Likes: 897
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Post by amylou on Jun 1, 2017 10:51:42 GMT -6
hugs. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Happy anniversary.
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Post by lupineaura on Jun 1, 2017 10:53:17 GMT -6
It must be hard to have to deal with such complex emotions on what should be a happy day (your anniversary). *hugs*
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allisong
Platinum
Posts: 2,306 Likes: 6,887
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Post by allisong on Jun 1, 2017 10:57:45 GMT -6
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
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Post by theoriginalbean on Jun 1, 2017 11:02:14 GMT -6
I'm sorry that happened, I'm sure it stung I'm also sad that so many of us have had similar experiences. Hair pats all around. It was really hard for me to finally come to terms with "it's not me, it's him," but it's so true. I hope you have something fun planned for your anniversary!
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Lormor
Platinum
Sometimes I can gif and sometimes I can't.
Posts: 1,673 Likes: 8,624
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Post by Lormor on Jun 1, 2017 11:04:24 GMT -6
I am so sorry. It sounds like a complicated relationship. Big hugs and happy anniversary. I hope you can also remember the special and happy parts of the day. (I don't mean to dismiss your sadness, but I hope there is happiness in there too.)
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Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
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Post by Minerva on Jun 1, 2017 11:05:27 GMT -6
Hugs, friend. I'm sorry that this has you feeling down on a special day. ❤️
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 11:06:26 GMT -6
I'm sorry.
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Post by honeylemon on Jun 1, 2017 11:09:02 GMT -6
I'm sorry. It's so hard to see other people's good relationships with their parents and want that, but know that it's not going to happen.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 11:10:11 GMT -6
So many hugs, Blanche.
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Peekaru
Sapphire
Posts: 2,518 Likes: 10,480
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Post by Peekaru on Jun 1, 2017 11:13:11 GMT -6
Big hugs. And hair pats too. This isn't about you, it's about him, and he is missing out on a lot by missing out on you and your family.
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Post by wildflower on Jun 1, 2017 11:16:45 GMT -6
My dad walked out of my life ten years ago and wasn't at my wedding.
It sucks.
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loony
Emerald
Posts: 12,592 Likes: 45,060
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Post by loony on Jun 1, 2017 11:38:15 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. I hope you are able to focus on the happy feelings of that day.
My dad came to my sister's wedding, pretty much to be in the pictures. Like his wife specifically made the photographer do a whole "special" set with him...we didn't really do "family" photos, because BIL's family didn't even come, so it was super insensitive on top of weird.
I keep my distance anymore, because it's not worth the effort. DD still only calls them "your dad and that other lady", which I try to correct, but it's actually true. He's not her grandfather, and he's barely a father figure. He's just in it for the photos to make himself look good.
It breaks my heart that so many of us are in this club.
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Post by silvermelody on Jun 1, 2017 11:49:54 GMT -6
All the hairpats and hugs. I was just saying to a friend that, now that I'm a parent, I really can't understand people who have kids and then remove themselves. I just...how??! And yet, I have friends with either toxic parents or absentee parents so I absolutely believe that it happens and it sucks.
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Post by sureshot on Jun 1, 2017 12:10:31 GMT -6
Lots of hugs. My dad has been in and out of my life since I was younger, but he seemed to be making a sincere effort to be involved in the year before I got married. He missed the ceremony, and showed up to the reception absolutely shitfaced. He ended up leaving before the father/daughter dance, which I only knew when they called us to the dance floor and he was nowhere to be found.
I made the decision to cut off contact with him when I was pregnant with my son, because I wanted to spare DS the pain of growing up with someone like that in his life. It sucks that so many of us are in similar situations.
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
Posts: 2,971 Likes: 10,175
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Post by Risscaboobs on Jun 1, 2017 12:30:01 GMT -6
I am so sorry, @blanche, and anyone else in a similar situation. I'm here if you ever want to talk. I have a very strained relationship with my mother, and it's really difficult on me, especially now that I'm a mother myself. Like I just don't get how she can be the way she is, and it breaks my heart frequently. I won't be letting her have anything to do with my daughter.
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scsmith
Bronze
Posts: 175 Likes: 504
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Post by scsmith on Jun 1, 2017 12:32:02 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. This sounds like the relationship MH had with his dad. Big hugs.
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obi
Bronze
Posts: 119 Likes: 443
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Post by obi on Jun 1, 2017 13:12:07 GMT -6
I'll give you all the hair pats you need <3 I have a similar relationship with my dad and things are currently extra tense.
Big hugs.
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Ali7P
Sapphire
Posts: 3,043 Likes: 10,503
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Post by Ali7P on Jun 1, 2017 13:57:27 GMT -6
((Hugs)) I'm sorry. And happy anniversary! H and I just celebrated our 10th on Friday
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Post by bookworm on Jun 1, 2017 14:46:22 GMT -6
I am so sorry. I've had a strained relationship with my father at times and I know how much that can weigh on a person.
Hope you have a happy anniversary!
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rubysue
Amethyst
Posts: 7,203 Likes: 35,112
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Post by rubysue on Jun 1, 2017 14:49:11 GMT -6
Big hugs, @blanche. I'm sorry.
Happy anniversary ❤️❤️❤️
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Post by cakewench on Jun 1, 2017 14:58:52 GMT -6
Lots of hugs, @blanche. And Happy Anniversary
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