I think I need hair pats.

[Ee]

((hugs))

[heybulldog]

((Hugs)), I'm sorry ☹️

[Deleted]

Hugs. I am here if you ever need to talk. I deal with absent father issues as well, and it stings. I totally get it. I am sorry you have to deal with it too. It's so hard. All my love.

[Lord Disick]

That's really hard. I'm sorry. Hugs.

[tattooedtragedy]

<3 Hugs <3 I have a similar relationship (or lack of) with my dad so I feel you

[Cher]

I ... could have written this. My dad didn't show up at my college graduation, didn't speak to me for years surrounding graduation, didn't go to my wedding, the list goes on.

Anyway, it's hard and I will give you all the headpats. But remember him not going is a reflection of you, not him. That day you were surrounded by people who loved you and the only person I feel sorry for in that situation is your father who was too self-involved to be there for someone else. I'm at the point where I don't get sad about it anymore, I pity my dad. I spent a lot of my honeymoon upset about it and I realized I needed to draw a line in the sand, I needed to stop letting him in and out of my life. Having my son really helped me with that because my job is to protect him and be the parent that my dad wasn't, I don't want to confuse him with letting my dad in and out, so I removed my emotions and I take a hard stance. I'm blabbering but I want you to know I get you and I've been there and it took me a long time to get to where I am now. It's okay to get sad, it's okay to be hurt but you need to keep remembering this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. If you ever need to talk, you can always pm me.

[cp3]

I am so sorry. I could have written this exact post. My dad has done the same since I was very young and started coming around more last year and then after Christmas disappeared again. I don't have his phone number either. It's mostly why I am in therapy trying to deal with it.

Now that I have DD it is so hard for me to accept that as a parent he could walk away from his children. It's something very hard to deal with and accept how they choose to miss out on our lives and I don't understand it.

If you ever want to talk I'm here.

[ouiserboudreaux]

Here with hugs and hairpats. I'm sorry.

On a happier note, happy anniversary!❤️

[hawkward]

<3

[SweetPotato]

I'm sorry - that's hard. Big hugs, and I hope you enjoy your anniversary

[kmkd]

Lots of hair pats. ❤️

[sing2phins]

That stinks, I'm sorry. I have a similar situation on FB with my bio mom - she's blocked, but I'm friends with my half-brother, so I know she gets info that way. It's complicated to navigate.

Good for you for standing up and saying no when she asked.

[babybean]

Hugs, lady

[hellosweetie]

Big hugs I'm sorry. ❤️

[Cher]

@blanche yes, same. My dad's STBXW has reached out, his other kids, his brothers etc. for what I assume are similar reasons. I let them in because my beef isn't with them. But my dad has crossed lines in my mind, and my priority is protecting C. My dad sends my kid gifts and signs it "grandpop". We never tell C that. We give him the gift, I send my dad a very impersonal thank you card and keep it moving. I'm not letting my kid get caught up in his crazy.

[dreadpirateroberts]

I'm so sorry. (Hugs)

[cp3]

That is such an awful feeling @blanche. It's hard not to think it's because of us, like we did something or aren't good enough for their love. But Cher is right. It's a reflection on him not you. He is missing out on being around and having these experiences with you and your family. Huge hugs lady.

[harvestmoon]

Happy anniversary! I can sadly relate on an uninvolved father. Good for you for recognizing your need for a boundary for your own well being in terms of what you will share and how.

[zoeylucy]

Big hugs to you. I'm sorry.

[Notarobot]

Big hugs @blanche. I'm sorry you're dealing with this crap.

Happy Anniversary, on a happier note.

[Betweenthelines]

Hugs to you. <3

[bellatrix]

Hugs @blanche❤

[leilapup]

I'm so sorry. We have similar issues with H's parents and I know how hard it is on him. His dad has never seen our kids and his mom occasionally makes an effort but mostly not because his dad doesn't like it. As much as we know it's for the best to not have him around it really hurts H to know that his dad doesn't care enough to even try to see them.

[tattooedtragedy]

Jun 1, 2017 10:06:51 GMT -6 Cher said:

I ... could have written this. My dad didn't show up at my college graduation, didn't speak to me for years surrounding graduation, didn't go to my wedding, the list goes on.

Anyway, it's hard and I will give you all the headpats. But remember him not going is a reflection of you, not him. That day you were surrounded by people who loved you and the only person I feel sorry for in that situation is your father who was too self-involved to be there for someone else. I'm at the point where I don't get sad about it anymore, I pity my dad. I spent a lot of my honeymoon upset about it and I realized I needed to draw a line in the sand, I needed to stop letting him in and out of my life. Having my son really helped me with that because my job is to protect him and be the parent that my dad wasn't, I don't want to confuse him with letting my dad in and out, so I removed my emotions and I take a hard stance. I'm blabbering but I want you to know I get you and I've been there and it took me a long time to get to where I am now. It's okay to get sad, it's okay to be hurt but you need to keep remembering this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. If you ever need to talk, you can always pm me.

This is me, exactly. My youngest has no idea who my dad is- on the few times she has seen him I have gone out of my way to not call in papa. 

so +1 to everything Cher says about it being him and not you

[Deleted]

Lots of hugs.

The father/daughter dance is hard for me. I'm glad we don't go to weddings very much anymore because they usually ruin the evening for me. I usually plan to be in the bathroom or somewhere far away from the activity so I don't ruin my makeup.

[mcktymck]

I'm so sorry, those emotions resurface so abruptly sometimes. I don't have a relationship with my father, though I was the one to choose not to allow him in my life so a little different than your situation. The thoughts of missed memories can be so painful. Hugs to you, I hope you enjoy your anniversary!

[Uncaripswife]

I'm sorry, friend. That just sucks all around.

But I hope you are able to enjoy your anniversary.

[spooko]

I'm really sorry. I've more recently had my dad out of my life and it hurts a lot. I'm struggling already with how to approach Father's Day and where everything goes from here. It's so hard not to internalize their failures, but they need to own it, not us.

[raelynn]

((Hugs)) I've been there. My absentee "dad" also made an attempt to return to my life right before I got married. He even gave me a bit of money to help with the cost. I grappled for a long time about whether or not to invite him, and ultimately sent him an invite. But then he didn't RSVP and I had to email him to find out he wasn't coming. It's a shitty feeling and I'm sorry that you are hurting.

[jrun2013]

I'm sorry.


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