PAIF Check-In Week of November 27

[Rama]

This check-in is for anyone who is pregnant (in any trimester) after struggling with infertility.

First time checking in? Congrats! We are glad to see you over here. If you’d like to be added OR updated, please TAG ME (rama) in your post and answer the following:

1. Your EDD
2. How many, if you know, beans you have cooking?
3. Boy or girl (if you know) or team green if you're not finding out?
4. What treatment got you your BFP?

For everyone else:

1. How far are you now?
2. Symptom check:
3. What and when is your next appointment?
4. Anything you’d like to share with the group?

PAIF Roster

Welcome to anyone joining us this week and congrats to our grads!

November LOs

laurensc927 - FET#3 with ICSI + CCS
Due: 11/23
Carrying: 1
Team: Blue


December LOs

kensie5226 - IUI #2
Due:12/1
Carrying: 1
Team: Blue


February LOs

@pinklantern - IUI#6
Due: 2/4
Carrying: 1
Team: Blue


March LOs

Dogpaddle29 - FET#1after IVF#1 with DE
Due: 3/9
Carrying: 2
Team: Purple

woodenshoes - IVF#1
Due: 3/17
Carrying: 1
Team: Green

longhornwino - surprise BFP on natural cycle
Due: 3/18
Carrying: 1
Team: Blue

Rama - letrozole + ovidrel + TI
Due: 3/30
Carrying: 1
Team: Green


May LOs
mela99 – IVF#1
Due: 5/28
Carrying: 1
Team: ??

June LOs

fatpony - 2nd IUI, 7.5mg femara
Due: 06/06
Carrying: keep us posted!!
Team: ??

scrang - FET #1 with ICSI + PGS
Due: 6/21
Carrying: 1
Team: Pink

daisy818 – FET on IVF#1
Due: 6/25
Carrying: keep us posted!!
Team: ??

charliefox - Surprise BFP on natural cycle
Due: 6/26
Carrying: 1?
Team: Finding out!

July LOs

birch113 - FET #2 with ICSI + CCS
Due: 7/1
Carrying: 1?
Team: Finding out!

bananas22 - FET #1 with ICSI and CCS
Due: 7/12
Carrying: 1?
Team: Finding out!

[Rama]

How far are you now? 22,3
Symptom check: Fatigued, ragey, generally emotional, don't wanna eat unless I eat everything
What and when is your next appointment? Friday, A/S pt 2! (and MFM)
Anything you’d like to share with the group? I think it's gotten to a point where I really need to talk to someone. This past week was even worse than the one before it and I'm pretty sure my thoughts aren't normal. One of my hangups is that whenever I actually go to an appointment, I genuinely feel better. I'm not sure if it's some kind of defense mechanism, but suddenly everything seems so much less worth all the worry. Then cue my starting to panic again in the next 2-3 days. There's also the nice detail that no one on my insurance is available any time other than my working hours -- either OB or psychology, so I'd have to take even MORE time off in order to go to a therapist, which makes me feel even more out of control and the spiral gets worse. For the moment, I think the plan is to get to the birth or bedrest, get into a routine, and start making some phone calls. When I don't have the threat of missing more work over my head, I think I'll be much more receptive to taking time out of my day to go see someone.

[laurensc927]

Rama I'm so sorry you're having such struggles. I get your concern about more time off of work but maybe see if resolve has any resources or I believe there is some type of online counseling where you Skype with the therapist. It's great that you recognize the need to talk to someone but the sooner probably better if for nothing else but helping you to put coping mechanisms in place so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

[kensie5226]

Rama, I’m so sorry. IF is a mind fuck and I coupled that with anxiety issues. I actually went to urgent care once because I had worked myself into such a state. All my hugs to you.

[kensie5226]

So, I had a baby last Tuesday.

So I had a very different experience with this labor and birth. After a false alarm Tuesday contractions kept up irregularly throughout
the day. Then they started to get really intense around 5ish or so. I did my best to ignore them and go about my day. After the false alarm yesterday I figured they’d stop. After I put my DD to bed (through contractions) I tried to get ready to sleep, but they were coming every 4 minutes and were super intense. I thought maybe if I tried to sleep and rested I could get them to settle like last night. But, at 11pm I was in a lot of pain so we called the advice nurse. She told us we could come in, but may get sent home again.

I opted to wait another hour and see what happened. I tried to taking a bath, which led to a leak in the bathroom which was special and just what we needed to deal with.
After I got out of the bath, I was still having really intense contractions, but because of the false alarm, as well as my 36 hour induction with DD I was sure I’d get sent home. So I opted to drive myself to the hospital and call MH if I got admitted. (Someone had to
Be with DD).

Lemme tell ya, the ER guys are terrified of pregnant women. They rushed me up to L&D like you wouldn’t believe. Took to me a room (not triage,) got checked 4cms, and admitted. Everyone worked fast. MH got DD sorted and got there just as the anesthesiologist was setting up. I got the epi maybe an hour after being admitted, got checked at 6cms. Relaxed and snoozed a bit, then things picked up again and the doc finally came in. She announced I was at 9.5 and ready to go. About 15 minutes and 3 pushes later I had Jameson! 5lbs 13oz, 19inches. About the same size as his big sister.

Second time is different. I’m really comfortable with the newborn, but my attention is split and that is hard. We’re muddling through though.

PDQ will poof pics.

[Rama]

Congratulations on the wee one kensie5226! Sorry for the hesitation because of the false labor scare, but glad everything moved fairly quickly once you did get admitted!

[birch113]

Rama I’m sorry it’s been so rough. If there’s any way you can get in sooner, or Skype like laurensc927 suggested, I hope you can make it work.

kensie5226 congrats!!! He’s beautiful!!!

[birch113]

1. How far are you now? 9w1d

2. Symptom check: nausea is intense. It’s really hard to find things to eat. And so tired. It was so nice getting to nap over the long weekend! Today was rough!

3. What and when is your next appointment? I am supposed to graduate from the RE on Thursday. So many feels about that.

4. Anything you’d like to share with the group? I mentioned last week that my RE stops FET meds at 9w4d. I haven’t been able to talk to them yet, but did find a 2017 article on the Luteal Placental Shift which recommends stopping meds between 8 and 9 weeks. I’m feeling better understanding the science behind it.

[laurensc927]

So I had a Thanksgiving baby! Henry David was born Thursday, 11/23 on his due date at 9:48pm. My water broke Thursday morning around 6:20, mild contractions started before we got to the hospital around 8. I was only about 2-3cm when we got there but I'm gbs + so there was no option of laboring at home I made it to about 4 by noon and they started pitocin to bring the contractions closer together. Once I felt the first pitocin contraction I got the epidural. By 7:45p I was fully dilated and started pushing. 2 hours of pushing later they had to use the vacuum to get him out because his shoulder was stuck. I had a minor tear and he had some trouble breathing so they took him straight to the nursery. I was so exhausted I didn't get any info before they left with him. I didn't get to hold him until after midnight but he is perfect and doing well. I am sore and was glad to hear the Dr say it was a tough delivery cause it was nothing like I expected so his comment made me feel better. We're struggling with bf at the moment cause he's so lazy but we'll figure it out.

[Rama]

Thanksgiving indeed laurensc927! Congratulations to you and the sweet one. <3 Here's hoping BFing gets better as you both figure out what you're doing.

[birch113]

laurensc927 congratulations!!! He’s precious! I hope BF gets easier soon! Those early days are so tough!

[Dogpaddle29]

Congrats to the babies!!!

I'm feeling good. Had an appointment last week. My tech was terrible but babies looked good. I'm getting very large and not slowing down anytime soon. Overall though things are going great. I'm 25 weeks.

[scrang]

Rama, I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now. I actually found a therapist a couple of years ago thru the RESOLVE website - they have to have personal experience with infertility and/or fertility struggles to be certified by RESOLVE. I had just gotten done with our 2nd round of IVF and it went horribly, so I was in a really bad place. She was able to see me very quickly and even just talking to her the first session helped because I knew she understood exactly what I was going through. I hope you can find someone soon!

laurensc927 and kensie5226 Congrats on your new arrivals...gorgeous little nuggets!

AFM
1. 10w4d
2. The heartburn has arrived with a vengeance and Thanksgiving dinner did not help. I just have to start eating smaller meals and buy some Costco size Tums!
3. This Wednesday is my firat OB appointment. Hoping I get to finally stop these PIO shots...I’m down to a 1/2cc and it’s so annoying to have to do a daily shot for such a little amount.

[woodenshoes]

Rama, I am sorry things have been dealing with so much worry. I agree with the others about looking into if there is something available through RESOLVE. I have had similar worry throughout this pregnancy that something still is going to go wrong especially being high risk. DH doesn't completely understand my feelings, so it is difficult to talk to him. I do have a counselor due to my high anxiety and it helps to talk to someone who is neutral and lets me openly express my feelings. I hope you can figure something out. I understand the not wanting to miss work. Most of my OB appointments are scheduled for after work, but I can't do that with MFM, so I just think of all the sick time I am using that I could be using for after this little one is here.

laurensc927 and kensie5226, Congrats on the births or your beautiful babies!

birch113, I am sorry you are dealing with nausea. I am glad you found some peace with stopping the meds and I hope all goes well with graduating from the RE. I understand the anxiety.

scrang, I hope your OB appointment goes well.

Dogpaddle29, I am glad everything is going well for you!


AFM

1. How far are you now? 24 weeks, 4 days
2. Symptom check: still have nausea and occasional vomiting, tired
3. What and when is your next appointment? Next Monday with OB, and next Tuesday with MFM.
4. Anything you’d like to share with the group? I am back in the GD diet routine. I did well over Thanksgiving. My fasting numbers are still a little ugly, so I am guessing I will be put on medicine/insulin for fasting at one of my appointments next week.

[mela99]

1. How far are you now? 14 weeks, 1 day
2. Symptom check:STILL insomnia. Random nausea, and I've been having some pinching/pulling/twinges around my uterus. I assume it's all from growing. None of it is anything I would consider more than annoying
3. What and when is your next appointment?Dec 15, monthly check up
4. Anything you’d like to share with the group? I was hoping entering the second trimester would make me less anxious but I'm not sure that it has yet. I wish I could feel him already, but I know it's early plus anterior placenta, so ...

Rama, I'm sending you huge hugs. I know how hard it can be. I hope you can find someone compassionate and sensitive who can help you feel your best. You deserve that.

And congrats on these gorgeous new tiny humans!

[Rama]

Thanks everyone. I'll try looking into the RESOLVE website and see if they have something that can work with my schedule.

woodenshoes I'm sorry your H doesn't quite get it. That's probably the hardest thing I can imagine. I'm thankful that mine, while optimistic to a fault, understands my worries and is open about his insecurities with this pregnancy, too, so I do feel safe emoting naturally to him. That's probably actually another thing that makes me want to skip a counselor -- I'm not a very open person in general (less on the internet, a million times moreso in person), so the thought of talking to a stranger about my life is actually more anxiety-inducing than keeping it to my close family and friends. But I know they're professionals about it and with time I could learn to trust and get over my own hangups. It's just easy to keep putting off because I'm trying to create the most comfortable situation possible. Also, literally, Kaiser doesn't do ANY appointments outside of M-F, 8-5. I already have to use a lot of my leave on taking their appointments as they're available for OB and MFM (which is at least a 30-40 minute drive away, so I have to take even more leave for that), so adding another thing to that time off is exactly the opposite of what I'd want to do. The more appointments I take now, the less time I have with my kid, adjusting to our new family dynamic, and physically/emotionally healing from the unavoidable trauma that birth is. I'm not willing to give up my future time now; I know that will only make me feel even worse and subject me to more stress then.

[mela99]

I actually called my OB's office today and asked for a referral for someone who specializes in pregnancy anxiety. They were very kind about it, reassuring me it's super common and they were happy to provide a list of names. They also wanted me to come in for a quick "anxiety evaluation" to see how else they could help me. I appreciated that.

I've dealt with anxiety for most of my life but the pregnancy related stuff is a different creature. Honestly, all I ever am is anxious that something will/has happened to the baby. I get scared with every twinge and pinch. I don't like that. I don't like that my mind can't accept the simple fact that it hurts sometimes to have a human stretching out your insides.

I guess I'm kind of rambling here. But I get it. I totally get it.

[woodenshoes]

Rama it is great that your husband understands your feelings. If my husband was anything like what yours sounds like I probably wouldn’t need counseling. I wish my mom and husband were both more empathetic when I share my concerns...I don’t always want to be told you should do this or this sometimes I just need to decompress by sharing my thoughts/feelings. Definitely save your time for the little one gets here.

[Rama]

Nov 28, 2017 19:42:05 GMT -6 woodenshoes said:

Rama it is great that your husband understands your feelings. If my husband was anything like what yours sounds like I probably wouldn’t need counseling. I wish my mom and husband were both more empathetic when I share my concerns...I don’t always want to be told you should do this or this sometimes I just need to decompress by sharing my thoughts/feelings. Definitely save your time for the little one gets here.

*hugs*  I wish everyone could have someone in their lives that just gets them.  I think I'm very similar in the decompress by sharing way.  Whenever I actually vent about how scared I am that I am experiencing PD, I immediately feel better.  Monday was the least nervous I've been in weeks, after I mentioned it here.

If you ever need someone to cry or vent to, I am always here.  No matter what I'm going through, I'll make time.  And honestly?  Being able to be there for others really works for me, too.  So don't hesitate.  If nothing else, you will always have me. <3

[bananas22]

Rama, Being pgal and paif is a lot harder than I imagined. I hope you can find someone that works with your schedule. I have Kaiser as well and part of the reason I haven't seen anyone is because of their awful system for mental health. They do have phone appointments (at least my system here does) if that's an option that would work for you.

laurensc927 and kensie5226, congrats! They are so beautiful! BF was a challenge for us, especially the first few days, but we made it 9 months. You'll find a way that works for you.

birch113, Hope all is good tomorrow! And yay for stopping meds soon. I'm jealous.

Dogpaddle29, so happy all is going smoothly

scrang, good luck at your ob appt and ugh to heartburn. I lived off of Tums last time.

woodenshoes, I hope the nausea stops soon.

mela99, I'm sorry it's been difficult for you lately. The whole process isn't easy.

1. I'm 7w6d today.
2. Still waves of nausea and exhaustion. I fell asleep putting my son to bed last night and woke up over an hour later.
3. One week from tomorrow is my first ob appt!
4. I'm so ready to be past first tri and all the anxiety and worry that comes with it. However, I'm more worried that this time, I'll be even more stressed come 2nd tri. My sister is trying to convince me that I need to see someone to talk about it but after my awful experience with Kaiser, I'm super hesitant. And Rama, I hear you on the time. I already feel like I don't have enough time in the day and I can't imagine adding more to it.

[birch113]

Scan went great today! Baby looks perfect and has grown so much since last week. We graduated from the RE! Exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time.

[Rama]

Nov 30, 2017 10:54:27 GMT -6 birch113 said:

Scan went great today! Baby looks perfect and has grown so much since last week. We graduated from the RE! Exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time.

Yay, congrats!!

[moto]

Rama - Can I please be added?

I just had a scan this morning and all looked well, so even though I'm nervous I decided I'm ready to be added to this check-in!

1. Your EDD - July 7th, 2018
2. How many, if you know, beans you have cooking? Just one this time! (I had twins in 2016)
3. Boy or girl (if you know) or team green if you're not finding out? not sure yet but we plan to find out
4. What treatment got you your BFP? FET #1


1. How far are you now? 8 weeks 5 days
2. Symptom check: some nausea
3. What and when is your next appointment? December 11th, intake at the OB. I'm disappointed because they don't plan to do an ultrasound.
4. Anything you’d like to share with the group? So the baby is measuring on track with a strong heartbeat, but the gestational sac is measuring way behind. The doctor said this "wasn't a cause for concern" so I'm trying to believe her. Does anyone have experience with a sac measuring behind?

[Rama]

moto I'll have you on the roster next week! I didn't want to pressure you earlier to feel like you should, so I'm so glad you're feeling more ready now! Congrats again <3 <3

[charliefox]

Not sure if this is appropriate to put here, but Rama can you please remove me the roster?

**tw**

Found our yesterday that baby’s heart stopped at 10 weeks.

**

Thanks to everyone for the support, it was nice to have a little community of others who had similar stories and struggles. I wish you all a healthy 9 months.

[Rama]

charliefox Of course. I am so, so sorry. Please give yourself some time and grace to feel any which way you do. If you ever need to cry, my inbox is open. *warm, tight squeeze*

[birch113]

charliefox I’m so, so sorry.

[bananas22]

charliefox, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[kensie5226]

charliefox, I’m so so sorry for your loss.

[daisy818]

Just bumping this to say YAY CONGRATS ON OUTSIDE BABIES!! to laurensc927 and kensie5226!!