Xp:Self confidence

[sing2phins]

I think the best thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other and try not to look back and wonder about what you could have done differently. It won't do any good to beat yourself up over it; it's done and he's home and healthy, right? That's the ultimate end goal. I assume your guy is an infant? Mine was hospitalized at 9 days for a fever and had to have a spinal tap and all kinds of things, and yes, it was terrible for him at the time, and it was so hard to watch, but he's fine now at nearly two and obviously doesn't have any memory of it at all.

If you're talking about the need to be assertive in a medical situation, I think it just takes practice, and it can definitely be hard because the doctors are the experts and you feel like maybe you shouldn't question them. The thing I always try to remember, though, is that I am my children's advocate. I am the one who has to make the decision because they can't. It is my job (and my husband's) to ask all the questions and get all the information I need to make the best decision. It is the doctor's job - barring absolute emergency - to answer your questions and give you the information you need to make the best decision. They can't do anything without your say-so, and any doctor worth his or her salt will not make you feel like an idiot or try to scare you into doing something. You have the absolute right to say, "Let's take a minute and talk about this." I find as I navigate all kinds of things with my kids for the first time - daycare issues, playdate issues, medical issues - that it gets easier the more you do it.

As far as thinking something is wrong and your PPA, are you being treated for it?

[lucilleaustero]

There is general lack of confidence and then there is lack of confidence involving our kids. I can guarantee that the ordeal with your son was harder on you than it was on him. You did what you knew to do given the information you were given.

When I worked at Borders, we were assigned sections to stock and take care of. One of my sections was Self Help. I am not much into SH books, but we were supposed to read books from our section to better advise customers. I read 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway' by Susan Jeffers. It was great. It provides motivation and strategies to help build confidence.

I am a pretty confident person, but when I feel I need a boost, I write down a list of things I know I am good at. It is reaffirming to see it in writing.

As for being an assertive advocate in a medical setting, well that is not easy. For someone not trained int he field, what do we know? I have requested that doctors break it down into very accessible language. I used to preface questions to doctors with "I know this probably sounds stupid, but...". I no longer do this. Even if I feel that a question may be a tad extra, I ask it. Whatever question or concern you have, it is highly likely that someone else had had that question or concern.

Fake it til you make it. Even if you are nervous and unsure, ask the question, voice that concern. It will become easier each time you do it.

Have you seen someone for your PPA?