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Doulas
Oct 16, 2017 23:33:10 GMT -6
Post by katietopaz on Oct 16, 2017 23:33:10 GMT -6
I know it may be on the early side for a lot of people to be thinking about, but my brain is jumping ahead to things I'd like to try to do differently this time around, labor and delivery-wise. Keyword: try. Babies have a way of throwing birth plans out the window.
I'm wondering if any of you have used a doula before, and what your experience was like. I assume I'd be the exception in that while we're considering a doula this time, I think there is a solid chance I will choose to get an epidural again. (Long story short: I had a 24-hour labor with insane, active back labor for 17 hours and I got to 3-3.5cm. Epidural at hour 17 that worked perfectly and was exactly what my body needed). My motivation for considering a doula is largely that we had a poor experience with the L&D nurses, especially with their communication, and I'm planning to deliver at the same hospital this time. I also like the idea of spending some time laboring at home again, and having a doula here to support me with that, especially since my toddler may be here for some of that time.
Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with doulas. Tell me if I would be laughed at if I tried to tell one that I don't have my heart set on an unmedicated labor.
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Post by ovenrack on Oct 17, 2017 3:20:39 GMT -6
I haven't had a doula. But two anecdotes:
One, I have a friend who is a doula and she has clients who get epidurals all the time. As you well know, there is plenty of support needed at a birth even when the laboring mom gets an epidural.
Two, my first labor sounds remarkably like yours, and I went into my second the same way, I think. I'd like a unmediated labor, but an epi ended up being the correct next step in my first labor, so it was solidly an option for #2.
My second labor ended up being much shorter and more efficient.
So I'm team doula, for sure. I've had great labor/delivery nurses at my hospital, otherwise I'd be right there with you.
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cornpop
Amethyst
Posts: 5,340 Likes: 13,661
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Doulas
Oct 17, 2017 6:03:20 GMT -6
Post by cornpop on Oct 17, 2017 6:03:20 GMT -6
I'm considering it for this delivery but probably leaning against it. At least in my state, the doula can't really interact with the nurses/drs too much except to say "can we take a minute to discuss this?" Where I think if I were to get a doula, I would want her to be able to really be more vocal on my behalf.
I don't think having a doula and having an epi are mutually exclusive though at all. I will definitely be getting an epi this delivery so I would just tell my doula that ahead of time.
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rm2013
Bronze
Posts: 207 Likes: 352
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Post by rm2013 on Oct 17, 2017 6:55:47 GMT -6
I had a doula and it made all the difference in my second labor. I don’t know about rules by state, but the common guideline I’ve heard is no, they can’t interact with the hospital staff as far as giving instructions. But what they do is check with YOU each time a potential decision comes up to make sure you understand and weigh your options, especially if you had some clear objectives that you were set on.
Also no requirement that you have to be going med free to have a doula.
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Post by ovenrack on Oct 17, 2017 7:27:33 GMT -6
I mean, I think also technically your partner can't direct hospital staff either, right? But if the laboring mom has support people (husband, doula, whatever), they can say "she'd like another blanket" or "she'd like an epi now," and then the nurse will say "OVENRACK DO YOU WANT AN EPI?"
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jewel
Silver
Posts: 319 Likes: 940
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Post by jewel on Oct 17, 2017 7:32:01 GMT -6
I had a doula with my first and I definitely agree ovenrack a doula is for everyone not just natural birth. In fact my cousin who is a doctor is the person who first recommended I work with a doula and she explained it to me as someone who can help you navigate the medical speak, the hospital practices and staff and help you get things you need and want as someone who doesn’t know the system. Further research led me to see what else they could do. I ended up starting my search around 20 weeks which was super on the early side, but we were planning on moving from out of state when I was around 30 weeks (I already had my new practice and hospital lined up) so it was important to me to also know that person before hand. I interviewed like 5 or 6 doulas over the phone and some definitely skew more natural than others but I only spoke to one who I felt was truly judgmental. While I was hoping for a med-free birth (which I am going to try for again), I’m a realist and I wanted someone with a variety of experience. Someone who would help me advocate for myself but also who could be flexible. I also wanted someone who was also a PP doula, I wasn’t sure exactly what I would want on that front but I thought it would be nice if it could be the same person. We had fairly minimal family in the area and my husband was in grad school FT when our daughter was born. I chose a doula who was supportive of going med free understood my reasons for wanting it or really for not wanting an epidural, I was more open to other methods of pain relief, which were not the same as some more common reasons I’ve heard. But also someone who would be flexible if I ended up needing whatever. As I got to the end a c-section seemed more and more likely but I decided i would want her there either way. Even though the official hospital policy is only one support person is allowed in, I had heard that rule is often bent and she had actually been in an OR for a Csection there before. My water broke at 38 weeks and LO was still breech so I did end up having one and she was allowed in the OR and recovery room with my H and I which was actually very comforting. She also was there while I labored and they prepped me for the C, I had a very rapid labor and even though my daughter was delivered about 4.5 hours after my water broke I was somehow more than 7 cm (that’s what I was the only time I was checked which was a little before my surgery and also why they were going so fast). My csection ended up being fairly complicated and she was very comforting during that. She also attended an (unsuccessful) ECV with me and was really great during that (and also while my mom almost fainted from the shock of what an ECV actually entails, lol). I ended up having her come as a PP doula 3-4 times which was great as well. I feel like need for that really depends on family support you have. I am trying to VBAC this time and I think we will use a doula again. I am also open to PP doula support again but that will just depend on how much support from my mom we have. And also whether I need another C and what recovery looks like.
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Doulas
Oct 17, 2017 7:37:52 GMT -6
Post by calendula on Oct 17, 2017 7:37:52 GMT -6
No personal experience with a doula but I can definitely see the benefits of having someone, no matter how you plan to labor. It can be really helpful to have someone experienced with labor and delivery who can support you and your partner. My mom was there for my first delivery and while she wasn't super involved with me, it was helpful to have her there when DH needed to run out for food or coffee. Or when he almost fainted as I got the epi. LOL.
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Post by sailsandstitches on Oct 17, 2017 7:41:57 GMT -6
I'm considering one because I'd like to have a VBAC with this one. It would need to be someone very scienc-y though. I actually don't want help with medical decisions because I fully trust my OB and felt we made a good team last time. I want someone to say "why don't we try this position?" "Let's use the peanut ball for a bit." My mom and husband were with me while I was laboring last time and both wanted to touch me to comfort me which, I did not love. There's definitely some big pockets of ultra crunchy people in the area, so vaccination status will be on my radar. No thank you to communicable diseases around my newborn.
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Doulas
Oct 17, 2017 10:21:27 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by mrsmonogrammed on Oct 17, 2017 10:21:27 GMT -6
I did not have a doula for my first birth, but my mom was a L&D nurse so she knew both sides. The original plan had been just H and I in the room (I was induced and labored over night) but my mom stopped by to give me a quick kiss and hug and ended up begging to stay in the waiting room because she noticed DD having some decells on the monitor. She didn't feel comfortable leaving the hospital, JIC. I really appreciated having her there and all of her knowledge/calmness when they were hooking me up to oxygen/monitoring. I think if I didn't have her I would definitely look into a doula though.
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Doulas
Oct 17, 2017 11:46:59 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by babybean on Oct 17, 2017 11:46:59 GMT -6
I didn’t because they’re expensive, but that worked best because of how fast my labour was and because of how I labour personally. (I don’t want anyone touching me or talking to me) They’re definitely for all types of births though, just interview and make sure their views align with yours. Some might be less of an advocate for your personal choices.
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Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904 Likes: 6,778
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Doulas
Oct 17, 2017 12:27:41 GMT -6
Post by Rama on Oct 17, 2017 12:27:41 GMT -6
I always thought I would want a doula, but lately I've been second-guessing myself. The money is definitely a factor for us, but I'm not sure I want another person in the room when I go into labor. I'm already having a hard time deciding if I want my mom or SIL to be with me because I just really want to cut down on the number of people sitting around waiting for baby to happen. I might just have my little sister be my stand-in "doula" if she's around because I think she can keep her head on best, but that's something we have yet to talk about.
I am pro-doula, because I think they can be invaluable. I've heard they tend to lean in the med-free direction, but most of the newer ones (aka our generation) are more likely to just go with what you decide/need meds-wise.
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