Babies make parents/in laws do the craziest things!!!

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Inspired by auri’s MIL, how is the impending baby bringing out the..... odd ideas/comments from your parents or your SO/DH’s parents?

[nevertoomanyshoes]

Also inspired by my MIL, who is generally great, but has unusual “common sense”. The other night she was running the bath for DS1 and after there was two inches of water in there she turned it off because “it got to temperature”. I lol’d.

[cp3]

Yesterday when my in laws were leaving my MIL told everyone to say bye to the baby. So they were all saying bye to my stomach which was awkward.

[polson]

when h told his mom it was another girl, she responded with i was hoping you would get to have a son. i think she thought h was disappointed or something (this is likely our last) that he isn't going to get the father/son experience. she is the sweetest lady, but that made me cry and roll my eyes at the same time.

[sailsandstitches]

Oct 15, 2017 21:26:15 GMT -6 cp3 said:

Yesterday when my in laws were leaving my MIL told everyone to say bye to the baby. So they were all saying bye to my stomach which was awkward.

That is super awkward. I don't know if I could have handled that.

[Leaf 🌱]

Oct 15, 2017 21:26:15 GMT -6 cp3 said:

Yesterday when my in laws were leaving my MIL told everyone to say bye to the baby. So they were all saying bye to my stomach which was awkward.

My brother did this and it was gross and weird.

[auri]

This happened a few years ago...I think DD was almost 2. My mil decided that she didn't like her carpet in her house anymore and ripped it up and just had the concrete floor. DD had spent the night and when I picked her up DD, my 8 year old nephew, and mil had colored all over her floor with sidewalk chalk. Another time, she and DD were drawing on her windows with wet erase sharpies. We have a lot of conversations with mil about letting DD draw on appropriate things.

[mattsgirl2004]

So far, nothing too bad yet.

My 86 year old grandma whispered to me this weekend at my dad's birthday party, "I hear you're with child again?" I politely and quite loudly said "Yep grandma. I'm knocked up again." It was sort of weird how secretive she was being about it, but kind of funny too.

My mom just kept commenting on how cute I looked. My mom is super sweet and has the biggest heart, so I just smiled each time, but it made me uncomfortable and a little awkward feeling.

[sweetc129]

Being the 3rd kid and 8th grandchild on one side and the 4th on the other nobody seems to care much or mention it really. My special snowflake SIL is due in February with her third so my MIL is all about her and honestly please do and leave me alone. Even though my mom will not be able to be there when the baby is born I don't want my MIL's help/sympathy.

In light of the conversation when we were struggling to get pregnant with our first my MIL did suggest I try to have sex on my period, and that could be our problem. She also told us she felt the moment of conception with all of her children...no, just no on so many levels.

[calendula]

auri, I loled so hard at the X chromosome thing. I don't know how you bite your tongue.

I can't really complain much about my MIL, she has been pretty good. I had to tell her to give me some space a few weeks ago, because she was just not terribly cognizant of how difficult PGAL is, but its been better since then. Last week she had to jump in and watch DS until nearly 11 pm while H and I were at the ER monitoring some bad cramping I was having. I think that might have given her a taste of what this whole thing has been like for us. March still feels like a long way away.

I still have to suppress my urges to bite peoples' heads off when they lead with the "so how are you feeeeeling" questions. So well intentioned, so annoying.

[cornpop]

My MIL was 100% certain that because her mom had boy-girl-boy and then she had girl-boy. And the same with my parents...that we were going to have a boy.

It was yet another reason I was super happy that this baby is a girl.

[calendula]

I will say I am pretty confident the worst comments for me will be from coworkers, which is why I haven't told most of them yet.

The woman I share my office with knows (DS blurted it out when he came in to my office recently, ugh), and she is so obnoxious. She asks me out of the blue the other day if we would find out the sex, and I told her it was a girl. She went on and on about are we suuuuure because she knows this one woman who paid for a fancy elective ultrasound and it turned out to be wrong! And how could I be so sure? And on and on and on.

Lady, this IVF baby has already had more ultrasounds and genetic tests than you had with your three sons in the 1990s combined. Shut the fuck up.

[babybean]

I had a client tell me not to sit cross legged because the baby won’t be able to breathe when I was pregnant with DS. Lol

Nothing really this time. I suppose that’s the upside to not having family I see very often. MIL said I look different so it’s probably a girl. She said my ultrasound looked like a girl last pregnancy too. She has two boys and ***TW loss mentioned*** miscarried twin girls so I know she really wants a girl in the family so I just let it slide.

[Leaf 🌱]

Oct 16, 2017 7:05:20 GMT -6 cornpop said:

My MIL was 100% certain that because her mom had boy-girl-boy and then she had girl-boy. And the same with my parents...that we were going to have a boy.

It was yet another reason I was super happy that this baby is a girl.

LOL I come from a looooon line of girl-girl-boy sibling sets. I’m curious to see if it holds true.

[Rama]

Haven't gotten much (if any?) weird comments yet. MrRama has gotten more than I have

My mom has always been kind of hands-off with the whole thing because she also experienced IF and we've been very open about our losses. Actually, it was kind of sweet yesterday when I made our Wave of Light post on FB, she texted me to ask how I was doing. She worries a lot about how this baby is doing.

MIL doesn't really make the time to call us because she's busy juggling nine thousand balls where she lives. But when she does, she usually just tells H to take care of me, hahahah. He definitely does.

[mattsgirl2004]

Rama I thought of you and all of our other loss mom's yesterday, especially when I did my wave of light on FB last night.

I've done the wave of light and recognized my angels every year now for 5 years and this is the first year where I've seen other people (non-loss) participate on social media. It was awesome to see the support and awareness, and also have all of our Angels recognized.

Sorry for getting off subject from the OP. Just wanted to share. October 15th is so significant to me personally and I have a place in my heart for all other loss parents. ❤

[Rama]

Oct 16, 2017 10:20:26 GMT -6 mattsgirl2004 said:

Rama I thought of you and all of our other loss mom's yesterday, especially when I did my wave of light on FB last night.

I've done the wave of light and recognized my angels every year now for 5 years and this is the first year where I've seen other people (non-loss) participate on social media. It was awesome to see the support and awareness, and also have all of our Angels recognized.

Sorry for getting off subject from the OP. Just wanted to share. October 15th is so significant to me personally and I have a place in my heart for all other loss parents. ❤

Thank you.  My candle burned for you as well. <3

It means a lot to me, too, and it makes my heart hurt even more for my SIL because her birthday is the day before.  She lit her candle and posted on FB for the first year since her loss.  I think my being so open in not just my losses, but talking about hers has made her have a little more confidence lately.  It makes my heart happy that she feels like she can openly participate in the celebration/remembrance, even if she isn't necessarily open about her loss in general.  This past Mother's Day I gave her a necklace with her baby's birthstone/month on it and she was so surprised we both started crying.  I think she, and many others, think that because I've been through so much myself I get caught up in that, but I remember.  I remember every lost soul that's ever been shared with me.

[mattsgirl2004]

Oct 16, 2017 10:32:20 GMT -6 Rama said:

Oct 16, 2017 10:20:26 GMT -6 mattsgirl2004 said:

Rama I thought of you and all of our other loss mom's yesterday, especially when I did my wave of light on FB last night.

I've done the wave of light and recognized my angels every year now for 5 years and this is the first year where I've seen other people (non-loss) participate on social media. It was awesome to see the support and awareness, and also have all of our Angels recognized.

Sorry for getting off subject from the OP. Just wanted to share. October 15th is so significant to me personally and I have a place in my heart for all other loss parents. ❤

Thank you.  My candle burned for you as well. <3

It means a lot to me, too, and it makes my heart hurt even more for my SIL because her birthday is the day before.  She lit her candle and posted on FB for the first year since her loss.  I think my being so open in not just my losses, but talking about hers has made her have a little more confidence lately.  It makes my heart happy that she feels like she can openly participate in the celebration/remembrance, even if she isn't necessarily open about her loss in general.  This past Mother's Day I gave her a necklace with her baby's birthstone/month on it and she was so surprised we both started crying.  I think she, and many others, think that because I've been through so much myself I get caught up in that, but I remember.  I remember every lost soul that's ever been shared with me.

I cried yesterday when I posted all seven loss and EDD dates for my angels in my post in FB. What a 5 years this has been and never did I ever think I'd be a loss mom, much less multiple times. With that, the sharing, raising awareness, letting others know my babies existed and were loved and wanted sure helps me grieve and validate them. With my openness, I too have had the opportunity to help those who have grieved alone and quietly. It's why I keep sharing and talking. Nobody should have to face a loss alone.

I'm sure your SIL draws strength from you and your willingness to share about your journey. She's pretty lucky to have you. 😊 I'm sorry for the heartache she has experienced and am glad that you can be there for her. I'm sure it means so much. ❤

[rm2013]

No crazy comments yet because we’ve kept this pregnancy under wraps, but I know it’s coming.... and I know I’m going to want to throat punch someone for joking about having 3 girls and needing to try again for a boy. No, we’re happy with having a healthy baby and my losses were boys with genetic issues so thanks for pushing that sore spot.

[nuggetrn]

We told our family this weekend that we are having a girl and I and a few other of my friends were about to punch DH's grandpa in the face. He was incredibly obnoxious about wanting us to have a boy. Like, downright rude. Then even after we announced it was a girl he was like, well they could be wrong, and oh you'll have to have a boy next time. No excitement, no congratulations, just on and on and on about carrying on the family name.

I now even more spitefully want to never have a boy and to also name this little girl after DH's mom.

I'm not a nice person.

[auri]

nuggetrn Congrats on your baby girl. I don't think you are being mean for having those thoughts, he was being a rude jerk.

[Leaf 🌱]

Ugh nuggetrn I’m so sorry that was his reaction. If that’s the worst you’re thinking after his comments, you’re definitely a nice person.

[alwayscheese]

I'm sorry nuggetrn. If you're not a nice person, then I certainly am not either!

[mattsgirl2004]

nuggetrn How awful of him. I'm sorry that you even had to deal with that. It's sad that he couldn't just join in on the celebration and had to ruin it like he did.

[Rama]

nuggetrn You are such a patient person.

I'd have straight up said, "Well, maybe my little girl will carry on your name. But if not, it's not like we need to propagate a heartless family that thinks she's not good enough." And if he had anything else assholish to say, I'm not afraid of making it known that he's probably going to go before we do and good riddance.

But *I* am a gigantic asshole and don't play nice with others.

[ovenrack]

Oct 27, 2017 8:48:17 GMT -6 Rama said:

nuggetrn You are such a patient person.

I'd have straight up said, "Well, maybe my little girl will carry on your name. But if not, it's not like we need to propagate a heartless family that thinks she's not good enough." And if he had anything else assholish to say, I'm not afraid of making it known that he's probably going to go before we do and good riddance.

But *I* am a gigantic asshole and don't play nice with others.

I would probably have said, "You're right!  Maybe we'll have a boy someday.  But you will probably be dead before you see it."

But I am also a gigantic asshole.

[Rama]

Oct 27, 2017 8:51:31 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

Oct 27, 2017 8:48:17 GMT -6 Rama said:

nuggetrn You are such a patient person.

I'd have straight up said, "Well, maybe my little girl will carry on your name. But if not, it's not like we need to propagate a heartless family that thinks she's not good enough." And if he had anything else assholish to say, I'm not afraid of making it known that he's probably going to go before we do and good riddance.

But *I* am a gigantic asshole and don't play nice with others.

I would probably have said, "You're right!  Maybe we'll have a boy someday.  But you will probably be dead before you see it."

But I am also a gigantic asshole.

You are my people.

[ArielMermaid]

I probably would have just said, "What the fuck?" With pointy eyes at him.

[Leaf 🌱]

Oct 27, 2017 8:51:31 GMT -6 ovenrack said:

Oct 27, 2017 8:48:17 GMT -6 Rama said:

nuggetrn You are such a patient person.

I'd have straight up said, "Well, maybe my little girl will carry on your name. But if not, it's not like we need to propagate a heartless family that thinks she's not good enough." And if he had anything else assholish to say, I'm not afraid of making it known that he's probably going to go before we do and good riddance.

But *I* am a gigantic asshole and don't play nice with others.

I would probably have said, "You're right!  Maybe we'll have a boy someday.  But you will probably be dead before you see it."

But I am also a gigantic asshole.

OOOO that’s so good. Now do one for me when my ILs y’all about hoping for a big this time.

[nuggetrn]

Rama, Leaf 🌱, I am dying of laughter, That would had been perfect.

I definitely expressed my displeasure, but not quite as cleverly as that!