Girl Scout Drama
Apr 30, 2024 16:39:56 GMT -6
Post by geekygirly on Apr 30, 2024 16:39:56 GMT -6
Sorry, wall of text coming.
TL;DR: Girl Scout troop leader confided in me she is thinking of disbanding the troop but hasn’t told co-leader and told me not to tell co-leader. I don’t want to start drama but I feel this is unfair to co-leader and the girls in the troop.
DD has been in a Girl Scout troop for 2 years. She loves it. The leader has always been a bit frazzled, but despite that, last year was great. This year, she has seemed even more frazzled and activities a bit more disorganized, but things were still okay until a month or so ago, when suddenly it felt like a lot of planned events/activities were getting cancelled (cookie closing celebration, one of the two April meetings, trip to scouts night at the local MLB team, spring camping trip, etc.). The juniors were also supposed to finish a journey this year as a prerequisite for their bronze award, which doesn’t seem to be happening either. (Basically the only thing that I know is definitely still happening before the end of the year is our marching in the local Pride parade, because I’m organizing that.)
I have offered to help on multiple occasions, but have been rarely taken up on it.
A week ago, when I was consulting on some Pride stuff, the leader confided in me that her daughter might not continue in scouts next year and she isn’t sure if she is going to continue the troop next year. I said I was sorry to hear that, but if she decided not to continue next year and the other co-leader wanted to continue, I’d be willing to consider stepping up into a co-leader position if needed. I wasn’t really given a reply.
Last night, DH dropped my DD off at the meeting. He mentioned that the troop leader wasn’t there, only the co-leader, who looked “frazzled” (his words).
Today, I decided to reach out to co-leader and see if she wanted to chat “about Girl Scout stuff.” I was concerned that maybe leader had effectively dropped off the face of the earth at this point and co-leader might need help. Co-leader said we can chat later tonight.
Shortly thereafter I get a text from leader, who is mad at me that I setup a meeting with co-leader “behind her back,” and says that she hasn’t had a chance to talk to co-leader about her possibly not continuing on with the troop next year, and she wants to her hear it from her directly. I say I am fine with not saying anything about that if she doesn’t want me to, and tell her why I had wanted to talk to co-leader.
She then gets more mad at me, telling me that I am “stressing her out,” that “no one wants to help,” that maybe I’d be better off founding my own troop since I’m not happy how this one is being run. Or maybe DD would be better off as a Juliette (solo scout). That if she decides not to continue leading she will disband the troop since a new leader “should start from scratch.” I feel this is unfair but apologize for stressing her out.
I then reach out to co-leader and tell her that leader seems upset that I had wanted to talk to her, and I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, and if she doesn’t want to talk that is fine.
Co-leader says it might be better if we all meet together since she and leader are a team and try to keep each other on the same page. She says the end of the year might be better and I suggest June to which she agrees.
I realize that kids get older and lose interest. I realize that lives change and we have to choose priorities. I am fine with leader not wanting to lead anymore. That is her choice. However, I feel very uncomfortable about the fact that co-leader seems to think that leader and her are a team who keep each other on the same page, while leader still hasn’t told her she is thinking of disbanding the troop. I feel she has a right to know, and I feel the families have a right to know as well so if there is anyone willing to step up they have a chance to. I feel it is unfair to co-leader and the girls to not be transparent.
Should I tell co-leader? Should I discuss with our service unit manager (who I am also friends with)? Should I just let it go until June?
TL;DR: Girl Scout troop leader confided in me she is thinking of disbanding the troop but hasn’t told co-leader and told me not to tell co-leader. I don’t want to start drama but I feel this is unfair to co-leader and the girls in the troop.
DD has been in a Girl Scout troop for 2 years. She loves it. The leader has always been a bit frazzled, but despite that, last year was great. This year, she has seemed even more frazzled and activities a bit more disorganized, but things were still okay until a month or so ago, when suddenly it felt like a lot of planned events/activities were getting cancelled (cookie closing celebration, one of the two April meetings, trip to scouts night at the local MLB team, spring camping trip, etc.). The juniors were also supposed to finish a journey this year as a prerequisite for their bronze award, which doesn’t seem to be happening either. (Basically the only thing that I know is definitely still happening before the end of the year is our marching in the local Pride parade, because I’m organizing that.)
I have offered to help on multiple occasions, but have been rarely taken up on it.
A week ago, when I was consulting on some Pride stuff, the leader confided in me that her daughter might not continue in scouts next year and she isn’t sure if she is going to continue the troop next year. I said I was sorry to hear that, but if she decided not to continue next year and the other co-leader wanted to continue, I’d be willing to consider stepping up into a co-leader position if needed. I wasn’t really given a reply.
Last night, DH dropped my DD off at the meeting. He mentioned that the troop leader wasn’t there, only the co-leader, who looked “frazzled” (his words).
Today, I decided to reach out to co-leader and see if she wanted to chat “about Girl Scout stuff.” I was concerned that maybe leader had effectively dropped off the face of the earth at this point and co-leader might need help. Co-leader said we can chat later tonight.
Shortly thereafter I get a text from leader, who is mad at me that I setup a meeting with co-leader “behind her back,” and says that she hasn’t had a chance to talk to co-leader about her possibly not continuing on with the troop next year, and she wants to her hear it from her directly. I say I am fine with not saying anything about that if she doesn’t want me to, and tell her why I had wanted to talk to co-leader.
She then gets more mad at me, telling me that I am “stressing her out,” that “no one wants to help,” that maybe I’d be better off founding my own troop since I’m not happy how this one is being run. Or maybe DD would be better off as a Juliette (solo scout). That if she decides not to continue leading she will disband the troop since a new leader “should start from scratch.” I feel this is unfair but apologize for stressing her out.
I then reach out to co-leader and tell her that leader seems upset that I had wanted to talk to her, and I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, and if she doesn’t want to talk that is fine.
Co-leader says it might be better if we all meet together since she and leader are a team and try to keep each other on the same page. She says the end of the year might be better and I suggest June to which she agrees.
I realize that kids get older and lose interest. I realize that lives change and we have to choose priorities. I am fine with leader not wanting to lead anymore. That is her choice. However, I feel very uncomfortable about the fact that co-leader seems to think that leader and her are a team who keep each other on the same page, while leader still hasn’t told her she is thinking of disbanding the troop. I feel she has a right to know, and I feel the families have a right to know as well so if there is anyone willing to step up they have a chance to. I feel it is unfair to co-leader and the girls to not be transparent.
Should I tell co-leader? Should I discuss with our service unit manager (who I am also friends with)? Should I just let it go until June?
