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Post by orangebird2020 on Sept 19, 2022 14:37:06 GMT -6
blurnette989 any chance he gets an amazing job offer that allows you to feel ok reducing work a bit? I hope you get an opportunity as well soon. I know it is tough doing it all and staying hopeful for something good.
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Post by blurnette989 on Sept 19, 2022 14:44:18 GMT -6
blurnette989 any chance he gets an amazing job offer that allows you to feel ok reducing work a bit? I hope you get an opportunity as well soon. I know it is tough doing it all and staying hopeful for something good. that is ultimately the goal. For him to replace my income so i can be sahm or freelance at most. So it's good he has interviews. It's just like come on! He's barely tried and boom.
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addymac
Emerald
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Post by addymac on Sept 19, 2022 18:02:25 GMT -6
Sorry about the chicky and the rejection blurnette989 🥺 Im really annoyed at DH bc he has nixed a set of names for baby since the beginning and suddenly his mom suggested it and suddenly he’s “rethinking” it. Now it’s off my list out of pettiness.
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teraiin
Amethyst
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Post by teraiin on Sept 20, 2022 5:21:38 GMT -6
Sorry about the chicky and the rejection blurnette989 🥺 Im really annoyed at DH bc he has nixed a set of names for baby since the beginning and suddenly his mom suggested it and suddenly he’s “rethinking” it. Now it’s off my list out of pettiness. Oh that would make me rage.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 20, 2022 6:46:08 GMT -6
Sorry about the chicky and the rejection blurnette989 🥺 Im really annoyed at DH bc he has nixed a set of names for baby since the beginning and suddenly his mom suggested it and suddenly he’s “rethinking” it. Now it’s off my list out of pettiness. What are the names though?
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 20, 2022 10:44:28 GMT -6
Sorry about the chicky and the rejection blurnette989 🥺 Im really annoyed at DH bc he has nixed a set of names for baby since the beginning and suddenly his mom suggested it and suddenly he’s “rethinking” it. Now it’s off my list out of pettiness. After all the BS he’s pulled about your parents, this would make me so irritated if I were you. I know not the same things but yeah.
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Sept 20, 2022 11:01:14 GMT -6
Well as lovely as DC’s new school is, poof
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Minerva
Ruby
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Post by Minerva on Sept 20, 2022 11:18:56 GMT -6
Lol my mom was obsessed with the original (like hand drew maps way back in the 90’s) and Ocarina of time. I’ve actively avoided playing any Zelda game but then I got Covid early this year and… well now I’m all the way in. I spend all the things to get ancient arrows for guardians but I still avoid Lynels. MH laughs at me because I’m SO bad. I’ve never really played many games and those I played the most were not that complex (like MarioKart or Mario Party) Ocarina was my jam. I held on to my N64 just to keep playing it. The N64 Zelda games are the only video games I’ve ever managed to play through. I loved them so much.
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fatpony
Amethyst
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Post by fatpony on Sept 20, 2022 16:01:27 GMT -6
This morning I picketed with my union at our county admin and went to the commissioners board meeting to demand fair contract negotiations. I know one of the commissioners and she told me she was really happy to see the union at the meeting.
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willow
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Post by willow on Sept 20, 2022 16:15:16 GMT -6
This morning I picketed with my union at our county admin and went to the commissioners board meeting to demand fair contract negotiations. I know one of the commissioners and she told me she was really happy to see the union at the meeting. This is interesting because my colleague (the one I told you about that the board hates is part of negotiations) said that his impression of the boards response to this morning was really underwhelming. So I am glad that particular commissioner said that!
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fatpony
Amethyst
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Post by fatpony on Sept 20, 2022 16:18:55 GMT -6
This morning I picketed with my union at our county admin and went to the commissioners board meeting to demand fair contract negotiations. I know one of the commissioners and she told me she was really happy to see the union at the meeting. This is interesting because my colleague (the one I told you about that the board hates is part of negotiations) said that his impression of the boards response to this morning was really underwhelming. So I am glad that particular commissioner said that! Yeah, they all just sat there and listened and the chairwoman was like, we DO appreciate you.... I didn't really expect any kid of response or reaction from them, it was a lot of poker faces. There was a .... constituent after us who went off about mail in voting fraud and they had the same faces.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Sept 20, 2022 17:41:14 GMT -6
Sorry about the chicky and the rejection blurnette989 🥺 Im really annoyed at DH bc he has nixed a set of names for baby since the beginning and suddenly his mom suggested it and suddenly he’s “rethinking” it. Now it’s off my list out of pettiness. After all the BS he’s pulled about your parents, this would make me so irritated if I were you. I know not the same things but yeah. Oh you’re not wrong. I’m already hormonal and cranky AF and this is driving me to the edge.
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Sept 21, 2022 13:24:49 GMT -6
Ha.
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on Sept 21, 2022 16:44:07 GMT -6
I keep typing and deleting. This is gonna touch on racism.
In the middle of a DEIA workshop, I was the recipient of WWW racism. I'm white. She found a way. For the first time in a group setting at work I mentioned that I'm half Brazilian and that for me it's complicated when talking about my ethnicity. I didn't go into great detail but, essentially, I'm first gen on my dad's side. I feel inadequate because I don't speak Portuguese, I am nervous about how to keep traditions alive for my kids. And I always hesitate before checking my ethnicity box. This is my issue where I put too much emphasis on me earning my identity instead of just being my identity. It's not a thing I would do to anyone else, I don't qualify others in the same way. My anxiety about it got worse after my grandfather died, because suddenly I could begin to see the loss of hearing Portuguese at big family gatherings, which I grew up with. My generation doesn't speak it at all. I usually check the Latinx box because that's what feels closest (although Brazilians being Latinx is a debate and wrapped up in classism and racism on the part of white Brazilians). But I am struggling with my identity and am in the middle of doing the work on myself on that.
So I'm raw about it. In a transition moment when we were walking from a large to small group setting, a WWW approached me and asked if I'm "genetically Brazilian" and also how much and also said I "don't have Brazilian features." Whatever the absolute fuck Brazilian features are.
I'm having feelings posting this because I experienced a singular moment and I know there are folks who have to deal with this horseshit on the daily and I just want to acknowledge the privilege I'm coming from being white and having it be, like, almost optional. If I kept it to myself I wouldn't have to field comments like this.
But it happened. My instinct was to keep my trap shut and not say anything because I tend to diminish myself and my feelings to avoid conflict at work. (Meanwhile, many in my family know me as a pain in the ass and I get emails about how my dead grandpa would be ashamed of me and my politics.) I mentioned it to my boss who, after she stopped cursing, challenged me that because I am white, I should say something to this woman, and check her before she says something similar to a colleague of color who doesn't have my sense of safety in the workplace. I'm also fairly senior so imagine this woman with a junior employee of color.
So I reached out to the DEIA company we are working with on our office anti-racist initiatives and I have a call with them tomorrow to talk thru how I handle this firmly, because my tendency is to minimize delivery of difficult feedback and soft peddle and you can't do that with the racists.
I can feel the wheels turning against this woman (again, privilege) and I'm glad for it. But white women for fucks sake we need to do better.
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on Sept 21, 2022 16:45:59 GMT -6
Also I don't need hair pats or pity. I needed to vent and complain about WWW.
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Sept 21, 2022 17:12:24 GMT -6
Sounds like a teachable moment for everyone starbuck. I think reaching out to the DEIA people was a good idea. I know H struggles with which box to check as he’s white and Portuguese. Good luck with the follow up.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Sept 21, 2022 17:51:19 GMT -6
I’m sorry that happened to you starbuck. I’m glad things are being put in place to address the issue and WWW ughhhhh. I do understand where you’re coming from in a way as a white Latinx woman who is constantly questioned on being Latina. I spent a lot of my childhood and young adulthood Feeling inadequately Latina despite being bilingual since essentially birth ha ha and not “looking Latina“.
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Post by orangebird2020 on Sept 21, 2022 23:46:42 GMT -6
starbuck This person has gotten comfortable just saying what they think and feeling ok with it. Can you can ask the organization for sample sentences to reply back with in the workplace? Then practice how you will use them to disrupt comments like these right in the moment from now on. It is a nonconfrontational approach, and although the person may not ever change, it saves everyone from being subjected to hurtful or racist remarks in the workplace. I deal with bosses that have said things I shouldn't have to hear at work. Over the last year I started simply interrupting to ask, "Is this what is going to be discussed right now instead?". I am sure they say oh we can't say anything with her here.....but it seems to have helped and I am not left regretting not speaking up.
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on Sept 22, 2022 4:19:09 GMT -6
starbuck This person has gotten comfortable just saying what they think and feeling ok with it. Can you can ask the organization for sample sentences to reply back with in the workplace? Then practice how you will use them to disrupt comments like these right in the moment from now on. It is a nonconfrontational approach, and although the person may not ever change, it saves everyone from being subjected to hurtful or racist remarks in the workplace. I deal with bosses that have said things I shouldn't have to hear at work. Over the last year I started simply interrupting to ask, "Is this what is going to be discussed right now instead?". I am sure they say oh we can't say anything with her here.....but it seems to have helped and I am not left regretting not speaking up. I really like this approach of having some statements in my back pocket and practicing them so that I can respondin the moment. I'll ask if they have anything and dig around online as well. Thanks for the suggestion!
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jkjacq
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Post by jkjacq on Sept 22, 2022 6:35:33 GMT -6
Who the F asks if you're 'genetically' anything? I'm sorry that happened to you starbuck, I admire your restraint because ^that would have been my response to her, probably followed by 'are you genetically a moron'? I also realize that in a professional setting probably not the best response and sometimes you're just speechless in the moment but I hope the conversation goes well with her later.
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Post by notblanche on Sept 22, 2022 11:53:49 GMT -6
I've spent the last several months buried under several large piles of things to-do. One of those piles involved setting up so many new specialist appointments for my toddler. Making phone calls and juggling schedules and trying to fit it all in is such a trigger for me, I put it off for too long. But today I scheduled four appointments with new providers and took the first steps toward scheduling a fifth.
Now to find myself a new doctor. One who can increase my Lexapro dosage...
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Sept 25, 2022 17:29:00 GMT -6
Ughhh. Im going to spoiler bc its just a complaining post about pregnancy but i know it can be a TW for some and also im just being a debbie downer. {Spoiler} Im so tired of being pregnant. Im so uncomfortable and there’s like literally nothing I can do to make any of it better. My hands have awful swelling and as a result now carpel tunnel with my left hands first 3 fingers permanently tingling /numb. And i cant even make a fist bc it hurts too much from the swelling. My right hand is very swollen and hurts to bend my fingers. The tingling comes and goes but has started to come more frequently. I have like zero strength in my hands so i cant even open things like a baby bottle of formula (for work, this is an issue), or twisting tubing to attach tubes and shit. Or even open my orange juice. 😭
And my right hip pain is back and a prenatal massage did nothing, my massage gun did nothing, my heating pad- nada. Its making me waddle and walk with a limp of sorts and makes standing up so painful.
And my feet/ankles are next level swollen. Like they dont even fit in my crocs. I had to squeeze them in there for work yesterday and it hurt and my poor feet had croc imprints on them lol. I even have sausage toes now. And they just fucking hurt no matter what. I lay on the couch like a V (so my heartburn and reflux dont kill me) and my feet up in the air and theyre just throbbing in pain.
And i have more than 5 weeks left. 😭😭😭😭😭
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Post by goldenbird on Sept 25, 2022 17:36:29 GMT -6
addymac can you go out on FMLA early? That sounds miserable. I'm so sorry.
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Sept 25, 2022 23:10:00 GMT -6
Oh addymac that sounds miserable. I’m sorry.
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athn64
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Post by athn64 on Sept 25, 2022 23:26:51 GMT -6
addymac, I had the carpal tunnel. It was awful. A few things that helped: wrapping my hands in cabbage leaves. It's a short term fix, but it did help with the pain. And wearing braces. The last month I could barely use my hands. And it lasted another 2-3 weeks post delivery.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Sept 26, 2022 13:11:55 GMT -6
Thanks, friends. I am trying to avoid taking time off before because I either have to take it unpaid or i use up My benefit time that id be using for when baby is here. Ducking hate this shit.
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Post by mrsweasley on Sept 26, 2022 13:26:45 GMT -6
I had carpal tunnel with DD too addymac, it lasted until I finished BF, but braces definitely helped. I hope you can find some relief!
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 26, 2022 14:07:51 GMT -6
addymac I'm sorry. Late pregnancy is so brutal. I went on bedrest at 33 weeks with the twins because I sat down at work one day and just started crying because of how much pain I was in. I can only imagine how difficult it is to have to be on your feet all day too. I hate how hard it is for pregnant people in this country to take it easy without worrying about money or job security.
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Sept 26, 2022 16:29:30 GMT -6
Poof
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klw
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Post by klw on Sept 27, 2022 4:49:18 GMT -6
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