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Post by flippinchica on Oct 14, 2019 15:47:24 GMT -6
I am team don't push on this. Let the judgy folks shove off. She clearly is not mentally ready. She will get there when she wants to but she is making you sweat it.
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Post by billyhorrible on Oct 28, 2019 10:02:41 GMT -6
She’s having tantrums all day saying she has to poop. And then it’s not happening. What does this mean? What does she want to do when she says she has to poop? The only time my kid has poop tantrums is when he's constipated and he has to poop but it literally won't come out. Then it's just screaming and crying on the toilet.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 28, 2019 10:58:32 GMT -6
DD was basically potty trained. Then I went away for 2 days(Friday and my Saturday )and now she doesn’t want to poop on the potty. And doesn’t want to poop in her pull up. I think she’s holding it in causing all the problems that would. I’m just pushing fluids water and pedialite and pure pear juice. She’s having tantrums all day saying she has to poop. And then it’s not happening. If you distract her with something it stops immediately. It’s been happening since Friday. She has pooped once or twice a day since Friday. Just not today yet. I think she’s playing us with the having to poop tantrums. How do I fix this ? But if she's pooped once or twice a day since Friday, where did she go? And her saying she has to poop all day and eventually she did poop? Not throwing tantrums but there have been some days where my kid would tell me he has to poop or that his stomach hurts and would even sit on the toilet and try many times a day and doesn't actually go until the end of the day or the next day, probably a bit constipated. Or it would take him a really long time of sitting on the potty to actually go. He has since gotten a lot better about not having these false alarms and not taking long to poop.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 28, 2019 13:35:50 GMT -6
@starzia, it seems like constipation is not that straight forward, like you can be pooping regularly and have soft poop and still be constipated. I think you can have poop backed up but they can still get poop (and usually soft) around it? I would continue giving her fluids and fiber and treat it as if she is constipated. I also think it's possible that she's not in so much pain to warrant the tantrum but just anything can trigger a tantrum at this age.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 29, 2019 10:12:12 GMT -6
@starzia , it seems like constipation is not that straight forward, like you can be pooping regularly and have soft poop and still be constipated. I think you can have poop backed up but they can still get poop (and usually soft) around it? I would continue giving her fluids and fiber and treat it as if she is constipated. I also think it's possible that she's not in so much pain to warrant the tantrum but just anything can trigger a tantrum at this age. What your saying makes sense. I will keep treating her like it’s constipation since now I am reading up on it being pretty normal while potty training. It’s hard not to feed into the tantrum because I am actually concerned and want to be comforting. I think it started out being what she needs. Now it’s any time she isn’t being payed attention to. Or today. Not wanting to go to sleep. I won’t ignore her because I’m still concerned about her. I’m just really worn out and want some type of toddler lie detector kit. It's exhausting, plus with another infant to care for. I imagine she is going through a lot too, having to adjust to a new sibling. Hang in there!
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Dec 21, 2019 13:57:43 GMT -6
I know this has been covered, but does anyone have any good book recommendations for parents. I’m ready to really get started soon. Everything I’ve read so far says to throw away the diapers. Really?! Even for nighttime?? I think I’m reading the wrong books. 😂😂
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Dec 21, 2019 14:31:24 GMT -6
I know this has been covered, but does anyone have any good book recommendations for parents. I’m ready to really get started soon. Everything I’ve read so far says to throw away the diapers. Really?! Even for nighttime?? I think I’m reading the wrong books. 😂😂 Definitely reading the wrong books! I “researched” a bunch of different methods and books and settled on “Ready Set Go” by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and found it to be really helpful. It talks a lot about their physiology (and how night time training is developmental/hormonal) and other evidence-based information avoid potty training. I also found it to be a good middle ground between “wait until they are ready” camp and “any kid can be potty trained in 3 days!” camp. I didn’t follow her method exactly (we went straight to underwear, where she recommends starting naked) but generally followed her recommendations otherwise - what kind of language to use and how to respond to accidents, no rewards, etc. and found it to be effective for us.
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Lakes
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Post by Lakes on Dec 21, 2019 14:37:42 GMT -6
I know this has been covered, but does anyone have any good book recommendations for parents. I’m ready to really get started soon. Everything I’ve read so far says to throw away the diapers. Really?! Even for nighttime?? I think I’m reading the wrong books. 😂😂 I have an almost 3 year old and 4.5 year old and still use diapers for both at nap and nighttime. I read the Oh Crap book and loosely followed it for the first kid. It worked for him. The second kid was stubborn and refused all attempts but eventually potty trained herself when she was ready. Legit just woke up one morning and said I’m using the potty now 🙌🏼
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Post by flippinchica on Dec 21, 2019 15:57:56 GMT -6
I pretty much let daycare do the work and then once he went to the 3 year old room we went to underwear for daytime. He still uses pull ups at night at 4 and I don't see that ending anytime soon.
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Dec 21, 2019 15:58:50 GMT -6
Thank you Lakes and piratecat! I was like wtf. I was reading one of the books to DH the rules included no screen time, no playing outside and throw away the diapers DH was like “hell to the naw.” I just laughed. I’m like for 3 days, DD needs all of those things. I guess I just don’t know if she is really, really ready. She’ll talk about the potty and she puts her dolls on the potty, but she won’t really sit long enough to actually use it. They have those small toilets at daycare and she likes to use those when other kids are using them. She has two potties now, but she seems more interested in the actual toilet. Maybe I’ll get one those step ladder things with the smaller toilet seat.
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Dec 21, 2019 16:00:32 GMT -6
I pretty much let daycare do the work and then once he went to the 3 year old room we went to underwear for daytime. He still uses pull ups at night at 4 and I don't see that ending anytime soon. Yes, they are super on it at daycare. I just want to reinforce what they are doing. Plus she only goes 3 days a week. The 2.5 year old teacher only has pull ups, no diapers. We have some time before she’s 3.
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Post by flippinchica on Dec 21, 2019 16:09:25 GMT -6
We just used the little insert seat which seemed fine. Mine didn't start peeing in the potty til like a few weeks before he turned 3. I would make it available and encourage but not go all in til she seems ready.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Dec 21, 2019 16:27:29 GMT -6
Thank you Lakes and piratecat! I was like wtf. I was reading one of the books to DH the rules included no screen time, no playing outside and throw away the diapers DH was like “hell to the naw.” I just laughed. I’m like for 3 days, DD needs all of those things. I guess I just don’t know if she is really, really ready. She’ll talk about the potty and she puts her dolls on the potty, but she won’t really sit long enough to actually use it. They have those small toilets at daycare and she likes to use those when other kids are using them. She has two potties now, but she seems more interested in the actual toilet. Maybe I’ll get one those step ladder things with the smaller toilet seat. Figuring out if he was ready was hard for me too. There’s a section about signs of readiness in the beginning of the book and it at least made me feel more confident to give it a go. We used both a small potty and the potty seat for the toilet. The small potty is good for keeping nearby, like a within short reach at all times, for catching accidents, but the goal is the toilet eventually so that’s great that she is interested in that.
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Post by billyhorrible on Dec 22, 2019 11:24:34 GMT -6
Honestly, I went on PubMed and read every peer-reviewed medical study on potty training. Australia is the leading research country on the topic. The studies indicated that most of the books on the subject seek to capitalize on new parent insecurities and advocate for unnecessary and sometimes dangerous methods.
Caveat- I'm super not a fan of most parenting books which is why I always go to actually medical literature instead.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Dec 23, 2019 16:17:20 GMT -6
I know this has been covered, but does anyone have any good book recommendations for parents. I’m ready to really get started soon. Everything I’ve read so far says to throw away the diapers. Really?! Even for nighttime?? I think I’m reading the wrong books. 😂😂 My youngest is 3 & still wears a pull up at night and for naps at home. He doesn't wear a diaper at daycare during nap time because he doesn't nap as long there. My oldest used a pull up at night until she was 4.5.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 7, 2020 10:48:56 GMT -6
So my kid has been doing really well being potty trained, day and night. Except recently he's been wetting the bed every other night. He's been going 11+ hours at night and staying dry and the past week or so he pees at like 3AM. Is this a phase? Why?? Should I put him back in diapers/pull-ups??
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Post by billyhorrible on Feb 7, 2020 11:56:55 GMT -6
piratecat, Unfortunately this is my area of expertise. Fortunately that may be helpful to you! 1) There are 2 kinds of enuresis (bedwetting). The first is primary enuresis. This is what almost all kids have. Not going to the bathroom at night is caused by a hormone which stops urine production at night. (This is also why during your cycle or when you're pregnant when you're hormones are fluctuating you might end up waking to go to the bathroom when other times you don't) Like all hormones, this kicks in at different times for different people, from 3 years allllllll the way to 14 or 15. So when you say "he's been doing really well" you mean it's been a short period of time right? He hasn't been dry at night for months or years? If that's true, then you're dealing with primary enuresis and there's nothing you can do about it, so throw that pullup or diaper on him at night. All the peer-"advice" you'll get, like withholding water before bedtime, or waking them pee, not only has no relation to nighttime dryness, but according to medical literature (and our pediatric urologist) is actually really dangerous (especially the with-holding water). And knowing that it's hormone production, it makes sense. You can't cause hormones to start kicking in earlier by external sources like that. And that's also why grownups can have a glass of water right before bed and not wet the bed. They're just not related. 2) So let's say that this isn't the problem, and he's actually been dry for months and months, or even years. That's secondary enuresis, and there's always a medical reason for it. The good news is, the most common medical reason is constipation. "Aha!" you say "MY child poops every day, so obviously there is no constipation." Fun fact I learned - constipation actually isn't related to how often you go, but what the stool looks like when you do go. So if your child poops every day, but the poop is a nice sold mass, or hard small lumps, congratulations! You have a constipated child! And this usually means the intestine is filled with poop, which puts pressure on the bladder and causes it to release...very often at night when the body is relaxed. So fix the poop issue, fix the pee issue. You can certainly handle this at home with Miralax, however, I'd recommend talking to your pediatrician about their advice on dosage, how long to give it, if they want you to bring the child in to check the stool burden with imaging, etc. 3) If constipation isn't the issue causing secondary enuresis, there could be a host of other medical issues ranging from a UTI to more serious things and frankly no one needs to know all the details there (although I'm happy to share with anyone concerned or going through it, since I've been there. (am there?)). But I would definitely recommend following up with your doctor if that's the case.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 7, 2020 12:21:02 GMT -6
piratecat , Unfortunately this is my area of expertise. Fortunately that may be helpful to you! 1) There are 2 kinds of enuresis (bedwetting). The first is primary enuresis. This is what almost all kids have. Not going to the bathroom at night is caused by a hormone which stops urine production at night. (This is also why during your cycle or when you're pregnant when you're hormones are fluctuating you might end up waking to go to the bathroom when other times you don't) Like all hormones, this kicks in at different times for different people, from 3 years allllllll the way to 14 or 15. So when you say "he's been doing really well" you mean it's been a short period of time right? He hasn't been dry at night for months or years? If that's true, then you're dealing with primary enuresis and there's nothing you can do about it, so throw that pullup or diaper on him at night. All the peer-"advice" you'll get, like withholding water before bedtime, or waking them pee, not only has no relation to nighttime dryness, but according to medical literature (and our pediatric urologist) is actually really dangerous (especially the with-holding water). And knowing that it's hormone production, it makes sense. You can't cause hormones to start kicking in earlier by external sources like that. And that's also why grownups can have a glass of water right before bed and not wet the bed. They're just not related. 2) So let's say that this isn't the problem, and he's actually been dry for months and months, or even years. That's secondary enuresis, and there's always a medical reason for it. The good news is, the most common medical reason is constipation. "Aha!" you say "MY child poops every day, so obviously there is no constipation." Fun fact I learned - constipation actually isn't related to how often you go, but what the stool looks like when you do go. So if your child poops every day, but the poop is a nice sold mass, or hard small lumps, congratulations! You have a constipated child! And this usually means the intestine is filled with poop, which puts pressure on the bladder and causes it to release...very often at night when the body is relaxed. So fix the poop issue, fix the pee issue. You can certainly handle this at home with Miralax, however, I'd recommend talking to your pediatrician about their advice on dosage, how long to give it, if they want you to bring the child in to check the stool burden with imaging, etc. 3) If constipation isn't the issue causing secondary enuresis, there could be a host of other medical issues ranging from a UTI to more serious things and frankly no one needs to know all the details there (although I'm happy to share with anyone concerned or going through it, since I've been there. (am there?)). But I would definitely recommend following up with your doctor if that's the case. I'm sorry that you're all too familiar with this topic. I'm familiar with the night "training" being hormonal. We let him keep water in the crib, though I don't think he drinks from it often - sometimes a sip or two right when I put him in the crib - but he likes knowing that it's there. He's been waking up dry since September, so not years but enough months for me to think that he was developmentally there? It does seem wild that he could hold it for 11+ hours because even as an adult I wake up some nights to pee and I don't sleep for that long. He's had a few accidents here and there in the past 5 months but sporadically and it didn't come as a surprise to me because maybe he didn't pee enough before bed or drank more than usual or slept longer than usual or whatever. I always figured his capacity was right on the verge of being able to hold it all night and so even a small variable could tip the scale, but again accidents were pretty rare until recently. When/how does a kid learn/know to wake up when he needs to pee in the night? Is that also related to the hormone or something else developmentally? I'm not sure about the constipation bit. I did wonder about it at one time because he's not an every day pooper and sometimes can go up to 3 days without going, but the pediatrician told me anywhere from 3x/day to once every 3 days is normal. Plus his poop has always been on the softer side (he eats a lot of fruit) and I don't *think* there's been a change but I will definitely pay attention to it and keep that in mind. Could he have a UTI seemingly other symptoms during the day? He is not wanting to pee more frequently or complaining of pain when he goes (my nephew recently had UTI and those were his symptoms).
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Post by billyhorrible on Feb 7, 2020 14:24:29 GMT -6
piratecat, so from what I've learned, no one actually learns to wake up at night to pee, they either do or they don't. My oldest began waking up 3-5 times a night to pee starting right before he turned 3. And that was in a crib, in a diaper. His body just did it. That probably should have been our first clue something was up with him, but we didn't know that was unusual because we had nothing to compare it with. I would definitely look into the constipation thing in your situation, especially if he isn't pooping every day. I say that just because it's such an easy solution/fix so I always hope that's the answer for everything. If you Google the "Bristol Stool Scale" it'll give you an idea of what to look for. I totally thought my kid's stool looked fine and he goes multiple times a day, but he's had lots of imaging and every time he has an enormous stool burden. Neither of my boys has had a UTI, but we've had my oldest routinely checked because it doesn't present in boys the same way as girls. Sometimes the wetting the bed is the only symptom. And the nice thing about the urinalysis is that it's easy, noninvasive, and can also give you a picture of some other medical issues that could be at issue (like diabetes, infection, etc.)
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 7, 2020 15:43:40 GMT -6
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