piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Sept 30, 2019 6:57:41 GMT -6
The 6.5 hour drive ended up being 8 hours with many bathroom stops but I think his stomach wasn't feeling that great and he kept wanting to poop (but not actually pooping). The way back was much better with just one break and we made good time.
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cmb
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Post by cmb on Sept 30, 2019 7:32:49 GMT -6
I hope i just bought my last box of diapers before potty training Columbus Day weekend. When do you make the switch from pull ups to underwear ? When the kid is ready 🤷🏼♀️ DS1 had underwear under a pull up for 2ish weeks while at daycare and then for bus rides for a good 2 months. We didn’t drop the overnight pull ups until late June/early July-ish.
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Post by teachermomtobe on Oct 4, 2019 10:23:17 GMT -6
I hope i just bought my last box of diapers before potty training Columbus Day weekend. When do you make the switch from pull ups to underwear ? We never used pull ups. We went right to underwear but kept diapers at nap and overnight.
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Post by flippinchica on Oct 9, 2019 21:13:17 GMT -6
So how would you handle this? 4 yr old has been "potty trained" for a year and poop is no issue but he will clearly need to pee and will refuse to go. He usually denies that he needs to pee. Of course he eventually has an accident because he just won't go to the bathroom. this is usually not a problem at daycare. It doesn't matter if we are at home or in public.
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Post by sheilathetank on Oct 10, 2019 5:07:47 GMT -6
So how would you handle this? 4 yr old has been "potty trained" for a year and poop is no issue but he will clearly need to pee and will refuse to go. He usually denies that he needs to pee. Of course he eventually has an accident because he just won't go to the bathroom. this is usually not a problem at daycare. It doesn't matter if we are at home or in public. We are dealing with this now. It's annoying and it's a battle of wills. I do constant reminders about no accidents. If we are out and public, I will physically drag her to the bathroom. If we are at home I stop asking. Because the more I ask, the more she resists. If she has an accident she has to help clean it up. That has helped cut down on them a lot. Now preschool is a whole different story and I have no idea how to fix that mess.
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Post by billyhorrible on Oct 10, 2019 10:33:34 GMT -6
So how would you handle this? 4 yr old has been "potty trained" for a year and poop is no issue but he will clearly need to pee and will refuse to go. He usually denies that he needs to pee. Of course he eventually has an accident because he just won't go to the bathroom. this is usually not a problem at daycare. It doesn't matter if we are at home or in public. My 4 year old is a camel. He rarely actually "needs" to pee, so when he denies the need, 9 times out of 10 I roll with it. But, when i want him to go for convenience, like before a car trip, or during intermission of a play, i ask him to come with me and keep me company. Then, once we're in the stall/bathroom I ask if he wants to go first or second. By that time, he's already in the bathroom, so he usually figures it's not worth the fight. Otherwise, hearing me go will usually trigger him going right after.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 13, 2019 14:28:51 GMT -6
Hi. Help?
My daughter turned three 1.5 months ago. She is not potty trained. I feel inadequate. She loves the potty, is curious about the potty, likes to sit on the potty, can tell us if she’s wet or dry.
We’ve tried twice.
First time - she was about 2.5. We made it 3/4 of a day before she was hysterically crying and begging for a pull up. We relented because obviously. She was young and pushing it at that point seemed fruitless.
Second time - she was a month before turning three. She did great the first day. The second day, she was okay but I started to realize that she was “doing great” because she was holding it out of fear. It got to be about 9 hours without pee that I put a pull up on her. She cried and cried. She said it hurt and she refused. We put her to bed that night assuming she’d pee it all out overnight. She did not. We ended up at the pediatrician after she didn’t pee for a really long fucking time and was tested for an infection. They advised backing off so we did. For the next ten days or so, she would not pee without crying and screaming that it hurt. She had no infection - she was simply terrified.
So, now we are here. We had one weekend where she asked for underwear and we did that. A few accidents but mostly okay. She pooped on the potty no problem. We asked if she wanted to wear underwear to daycare after that and she said no. We didn’t push. Daycare takes her to the potty when she asks. She pees about 50% of the time.
I’m stressed because she’s over three and should be potty trained in her daycare room. They are making an exception for her. I feel like I need to get her there asap but all the while not wanting to push because child has some FEELINGS about peeing without a diaper.
Yes. Help. Thoughts?
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Oct 14, 2019 7:47:46 GMT -6
joy You've probably already tried this, but could you reward her for using the potty? We bribed my oldest with skittles and my youngest with M&Ms. Is there something she loves that you could use? Any characters she likes that you could look to see if they have books or videos about using the potty? Elmo has some. I remember Disney Jr used to have the Nina Needs to Go videos.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 9:06:25 GMT -6
joy You've probably already tried this, but could you reward her for using the potty? We bribed my oldest with skittles and my youngest with M&Ms. Is there something she loves that you could use? Any characters she likes that you could look to see if they have books or videos about using the potty? Elmo has some. I remember Disney Jr used to have the Nina Needs to Go videos. She pooped in the potty and I gave her a bowl of ice cream as a reward. She LOVES ice cream. We offered ice cream every time she used the potty after that. Nothing. Perhaps a different motivator...
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Oct 14, 2019 9:09:43 GMT -6
joy You've probably already tried this, but could you reward her for using the potty? We bribed my oldest with skittles and my youngest with M&Ms. Is there something she loves that you could use? Any characters she likes that you could look to see if they have books or videos about using the potty? Elmo has some. I remember Disney Jr used to have the Nina Needs to Go videos. She pooped in the potty and I gave her a bowl of ice cream as a reward. She LOVES ice cream. We offered ice cream every time she used the potty after that. Nothing. Perhaps a different motivator... Does she have any problem sitting on the potty? You could try making her sit every hour for a few minutes and make it part of her routine. Maybe she'd eventually relax enough to pee. Someone on N13 had success with the potty watch. Let me see if I can find it the one she used. Hold please.
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Oct 14, 2019 9:11:08 GMT -6
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 9:15:09 GMT -6
She will sit for hours and hours in the potty. She won’t pee out of fear. She’ll hold it and hold it then pee in her pullup or the floor.
I’ve offered cookies, ice cream, staying up later, movies, etc. if she would just pee. But nope - sitsitsit.
I’ve tickled her, poured water in her, ran water, left her alone, etc. No peeing. Ever.
She clearly has excellent control but a certain fear factor that I can’t break through.
I’ve considered putting a swim diaper on her and then putting her on the potty? 🤷🏼♀️
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Post by billyhorrible on Oct 14, 2019 10:31:37 GMT -6
joy if they're making an exception, lean into that. Especially because it's already causing health issues and only going to cause more if you keep pushing it. (One of the women on my BMB is still having problems with her 4 year old and inability to have healthy BMs because of pushing potty training before he was ready). 3 years is right around the time kids START potty training, and many don't get there until closer to 4 (both sides of 4), so from a developmental standpoint, she's completely on track. What are you sending her to school in? I've shared this before, but my oldest (now 8) never had an accident in his life, but was terrified to wear underwear to preschool for months in case he did have an accident. So I sent him in pullups. He still used the bathroom there, but it took away the anxiety of "what if?" It sounds like she's anxious about the process also, so that might be something to consider. There's a lot to be said about positive peer pressure too, so if she sees all the other kids being okay with it, and she's doesn't have to deal with the additional anxiety of adult pressure, it might be easier for her.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 10:54:07 GMT -6
billyhorrible - she wears pullups. She often asks for underwear over her pullup so we do that. At daycare, she lines up with the other kids and will sit. Recently, she’ll pee some about 50% of the time. Rarely a full bladder worth but some. She has had almost zero success at home (sit but no pee). Ugh - it feels like everyone is trained but her. One of the other parents suggested what she did and was all breezy “and it worked! It’ll work for you!” When I explained that we tried that and ended up at the pediatrician’s, she looked shocked. My pediatrician says her fear is normal but maybe it’s just age that will get her over it? She also seems confused. Like, she’ll sit, get up, wipe, flush and declare she “did it!!” Like she thinks that going to the potty is just sitting? I’m not sure how to connect this all for her. Maybe she can’t connect pee (her understanding) to pee (our words) to potty? Is she willingly being obtuse or does she have some sort of impediment to still understanding this whole concept?
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 14, 2019 11:09:36 GMT -6
joy poor kiddo, and I’m sorry. Have you tried letting her sit on the potty while wearing pull-ups to pee? Will she let you know when she pees in her pull-up? (Or do pull-ups have those lines that turn blue?). I’ve heard of people doing this with kids that have trouble pooping in the potty, and then gradually loosening the diaper until the diaper is just sitting inside the potty - maybe something like that would work if she is in the proper form for using the potty but she still has the comfort of peeing in a diaper and then she can start to associate the action with the actual peeing?
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Post by sheilathetank on Oct 14, 2019 11:13:58 GMT -6
joy has she watched you go to the bathroom? Does she use a stand alone potty at home or a cover for the toilet? Is the potty at DC big or kid sized? I am team don't push. We are in hell right because we pushed and I don't think DD was really ready. She'll withhold to the point where we thought she had a UTI, but the results came back negative so now I'm really confused as to why she's so reluctant to go.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:15:13 GMT -6
joy poor kiddo, and I’m sorry. Have you tried letting her sit on the potty while wearing pull-ups to pee? Will she let you know when she pees in her pull-up? (Or do pull-ups have those lines that turn blue?). I’ve heard of people doing this with kids that have trouble pooping in the potty, and then gradually loosening the diaper until the diaper is just sitting inside the potty - maybe something like that would work if she is in the proper form for using the potty but she still has the comfort of peeing in a diaper and then she can start to associate the action with the actual peeing? She knows the diaper should be off to sit on the potty. So, naturally she takes it off. Pullups have a picture that disappear when it’s wet (same idea as the blue line). However, I could put a swim diaper on her first thing in the morning and sit her on the potty. I could say it’s a special diaper or something. She may sit like that and go because she thinks the diaper will catch everything. However, she may panic and stop then hold pee forever again. I feel like if I can have some degree of success and practice then she’ll get less scared? Uuuuugh. Thank you guys for talking this out with me.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:17:36 GMT -6
joy has she watched you go to the bathroom? Does she use a stand alone potty at home or a cover for the toilet? Is the potty at DC big or kid sized? I am team don't push. We are in hell right because we pushed and I don't think DD was really ready. She'll withhold to the point where we thought she had a UTI, but the results came back negative so now I'm really confused as to why she's so reluctant to go. Oh yes. She watches everyone. The potty is fascinating, Sheila! 🤣 She has all manner of potties - ladder/seat, potty seat, Ikea kiddie potty. Daycare has a child size potty. I would need to ask if she likes that one better?
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:20:57 GMT -6
This is a weird question, but are there any potty training videos/books that explain things beyond “when you feel you need to go then x,y,z!” I’ve seen the Daniel Tiger one where he’s on the trolley and needs to pee. But, there’s a tacit understanding that the kid knows what “needs to pee” means - ie. your belly feels a way and that means water will come out of you. (What is my life by writing that sentence?)
I feel like she needs to more information. Or something.
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Post by sheilathetank on Oct 14, 2019 11:23:23 GMT -6
joy has she watched you go to the bathroom? Does she use a stand alone potty at home or a cover for the toilet? Is the potty at DC big or kid sized? I am team don't push. We are in hell right because we pushed and I don't think DD was really ready. She'll withhold to the point where we thought she had a UTI, but the results came back negative so now I'm really confused as to why she's so reluctant to go. Oh yes. She watches everyone. The potty is fascinating, Sheila! 🤣 She has all manner of potties - ladder/seat, potty seat, Ikea kiddie potty. Daycare has a child size potty. I would need to ask if she likes that one better? I have no advice. I'm sorry. I would wait it out. It sounds like you are making progress in that she'll pee at daycare 50% of the time now. That's much better than none. One thought, what is her approach like to learning and experience new things? If she's generally cautious or won't jump into things until she's sure shell get it right, it may be the same with this.
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jewels
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Post by jewels on Oct 14, 2019 11:27:44 GMT -6
joy I've never posted here but came into this thread looking for advice as well. My son turned 3 in August and has no interest in peeing on the potty. He sounds a lot like your daughter. He will sit there and declare I peed! but nothing. He does this so often that the other night he actually peed and it sat in the little potty till morning b/c I didn't think he did and never looked in there! He, too, has no bribe that works (my oldest used M&M's like tgrimes, and had a big present he wanted at the end that we talked about all the time). He just doesn't care about any of it, stars, rewards, nothing. I have not pushed him. He was sick a bunch earlier this year (tummy issues) and personally, I'd rather he stay in diapers a bit longer than risk him withholding and getting sick again. So, I guess all that to say, she is NOT too late, and you are not alone.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:40:05 GMT -6
Oh yes. She watches everyone. The potty is fascinating, Sheila! 🤣 She has all manner of potties - ladder/seat, potty seat, Ikea kiddie potty. Daycare has a child size potty. I would need to ask if she likes that one better? I have no advice. I'm sorry. I would wait it out. It sounds like you are making progress in that she'll pee at daycare 50% of the time now. That's much better than none. One thought, what is her approach like to learning and experience new things? If she's generally cautious or won't jump into things until she's sure shell get it right, it may be the same with this. She’s very “I do it! I do it!” when it comes to certain things. But, she’s afraid of others for no reason that I can see. Maybe there’s a connection there. I’ll think on this.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:42:28 GMT -6
joy I've never posted here but came into this thread looking for advice as well. My son turned 3 in August and has no interest in peeing on the potty. He sounds a lot like your daughter. He will sit there and declare I peed! but nothing. He does this so often that the other night he actually peed and it sat in the little potty till morning b/c I didn't think he did and never looked in there! He, too, has no bribe that works (my oldest used M&M's like tgrimes, and had a big present he wanted at the end that we talked about all the time). He just doesn't care about any of it, stars, rewards, nothing. I have not pushed him. He was sick a bunch earlier this year (tummy issues) and personally, I'd rather he stay in diapers a bit longer than risk him withholding and getting sick again. So, I guess all that to say, she is NOT too late, and you are not alone. [br Thank you!! I feel totally alone and like five hundred eyes are on me. “Just teach your kid, mommy!” Blah. No bribe is motivating enough. Even ice cream!!! She did cry one night when I said she could have ice cream if she peed. She kept telling me she did and I was like “no, no pee.” She just burst into tears like “I don’t understand what you want me to do! I sat! I did it! What do you mean no?” God, I felt so bad.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 14, 2019 11:49:57 GMT -6
joy poor kiddo, and I’m sorry. Have you tried letting her sit on the potty while wearing pull-ups to pee? Will she let you know when she pees in her pull-up? (Or do pull-ups have those lines that turn blue?). I’ve heard of people doing this with kids that have trouble pooping in the potty, and then gradually loosening the diaper until the diaper is just sitting inside the potty - maybe something like that would work if she is in the proper form for using the potty but she still has the comfort of peeing in a diaper and then she can start to associate the action with the actual peeing? She knows the diaper should be off to sit on the potty. So, naturally she takes it off. Pullups have a picture that disappear when it’s wet (same idea as the blue line). However, I could put a swim diaper on her first thing in the morning and sit her on the potty. I could say it’s a special diaper or something. She may sit like that and go because she thinks the diaper will catch everything. However, she may panic and stop then hold pee forever again. I feel like if I can have some degree of success and practice then she’ll get less scared? Uuuuugh. Thank you guys for talking this out with me. What if you told her it’s okay to keep the pull up while sitting on the potty to start? To help her not feel scared? Have you asked her why she’s scared to pee in the potty? And see if you guys can come up with ideas that might help?
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Oct 14, 2019 11:52:33 GMT -6
I’ve also heard blowing bubbles on the potty can relax them and help them poop but I’m not sure if it also works for pee - in my mind I feel like it would.
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Post by sheilathetank on Oct 14, 2019 11:52:38 GMT -6
joy I've never posted here but came into this thread looking for advice as well. My son turned 3 in August and has no interest in peeing on the potty. He sounds a lot like your daughter. He will sit there and declare I peed! but nothing. He does this so often that the other night he actually peed and it sat in the little potty till morning b/c I didn't think he did and never looked in there! He, too, has no bribe that works (my oldest used M&M's like tgrimes, and had a big present he wanted at the end that we talked about all the time). He just doesn't care about any of it, stars, rewards, nothing. I have not pushed him. He was sick a bunch earlier this year (tummy issues) and personally, I'd rather he stay in diapers a bit longer than risk him withholding and getting sick again. So, I guess all that to say, she is NOT too late, and you are not alone. [br Thank you!! I feel totally alone and like five hundred eyes are on me. “Just teach your kid, mommy!” Blah. No bribe is motivating enough. Even ice cream!!! She did cry one night when I said she could have ice cream if she peed. She kept telling me she did and I was like “no, no pee.” She just burst into tears like “I don’t understand what you want me to do! I sat! I did it! What do you mean no?” God, I felt so bad. This happened with us and poop. I was pretty much giving her the world on a silver platter if she'd poop on the potty (and not in her pants within minutes of getting off the potty 🤬) and she'd sob saying she did but there obviously wasn't anything there. I stopped the bribes and tried a different approach that worked for us and her based on her personality, but I would never recommend in a million years. It sounds like in your case joy she really hasn't made the connection yet. She's getting to her lightbulb moment but it's only on dim right now. Lol.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:53:37 GMT -6
[br Thank you!! I feel totally alone and like five hundred eyes are on me. “Just teach your kid, mommy!” Blah. No bribe is motivating enough. Even ice cream!!! She did cry one night when I said she could have ice cream if she peed. She kept telling me she did and I was like “no, no pee.” She just burst into tears like “I don’t understand what you want me to do! I sat! I did it! What do you mean no?” God, I felt so bad. This happened with us and poop. I was pretty much giving her the world on a silver platter if she'd poop on the potty (and not in her pants within minutes of getting off the potty 🤬) and she'd sob saying she did but there obviously wasn't anything there. I stopped the bribes and tried a different approach that worked for us and her based on her personality, but I would never recommend in a million years. It sounds like in your case joy she really hasn't made the connection yet. She's getting to her lightbulb moment but it's only on dim right now. Lol. I’m going to need to know your secret, kthanx
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 11:53:59 GMT -6
I’ve also heard blowing bubbles on the potty can relax them and help them poop but I’m not sure if it also works for pee - in my mind I feel like it would. Tried it. BLADDER OF STEEL.
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Post by sheilathetank on Oct 14, 2019 12:15:09 GMT -6
This happened with us and poop. I was pretty much giving her the world on a silver platter if she'd poop on the potty (and not in her pants within minutes of getting off the potty 🤬) and she'd sob saying she did but there obviously wasn't anything there. I stopped the bribes and tried a different approach that worked for us and her based on her personality, but I would never recommend in a million years. It sounds like in your case joy she really hasn't made the connection yet. She's getting to her lightbulb moment but it's only on dim right now. Lol. I’m going to need to know your secret, kthanx I'm not proud of it, but I made her help clean it up. She had to dump the poop out with me. Put her pants in the laundry. Clean up any mess. Sometimes it involved being washed off in the tub and I made sure the water was slightly cold. I didn't want anything about the process to be pleasant. I also talked a lot about how disappointed I was because pooping in your pants is gross. Mommy and Daddy don't poop in our pants. Etc. Etc. The last time she did it was particularly bad and disgusting. Traumatized both of us. Lots of tears from everybody but she came to the conclusion that she never wanted to do that again. She stopped pooping in her pants after that. Now, this only worked because I know my kid and we hadn't had any indication of withholding problems. I was also at my wit's end at that point because she was 100% pooping in her pants because she gave no fucks. Not because of fear, or constipation, or any other issues. I would not recommend doing this.
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joy
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Post by joy on Oct 14, 2019 12:33:51 GMT -6
sheilathetank - oh, I’ve read that as a consequence. It’s actually given on GBCN as advice to make the child clean it up. Don’t feel bad or defend yourself!! They do advise being neutral and not negative but all kids don’t fit in the same bucket so meh. I’m jealous you found something that works, frankly. Ingrid. INGRID. Help me, help you, little girl!
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