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Post by donnamoss on Jun 4, 2017 9:44:33 GMT -6
My H does struggle with the social aspect of staying home. He's a bit of an introvert anyway so working outside the home totally satisfied his need for socializing...now that is gone and he does talk about how he wishes there was a local dads group. The big metro area near us has a dads group but he hasn't connected with them yet due to distance and our youngest still being so young with nap schedules, etc.
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Post by cassafrass on Jun 4, 2017 10:19:42 GMT -6
We've talked a bit more and are both leaning towards him transitioning to full time at home. I'm really glad to hear all your perspectives so we can do this the right way. He gets 3 weeks vacation in July and his store allows him to "cash out" those days so we will wait until at least then and add that money to savings as a little cushion. I want to have a really firm budget and household spending plan as well as a predetermined amount for him to do as he likes that we are both comfortable with.
Seriously, thank you all so much. So many great tips.
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Post by cassafrass on Jun 4, 2017 10:20:44 GMT -6
We also have a deposit at daycare for their last month so that will be a nice little amount to add to savings as well.
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Post by Hotcoconuts82 on Jun 4, 2017 10:25:32 GMT -6
I left my job to be a sahm because. ..
DH has a job that randomly takes him out of town and I had a job that required both regular business hour And some nights and weekend.
The two combined would have been a child care nightmare.
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Post by sweetc129 on Jun 4, 2017 10:29:30 GMT -6
I underestimated how much I would like being a working mom. We are TTC#3 and we decided that if we wanted to do that It would be best for our family for me to stay home. DH makes more than double I do and he already works so many hours that I'm primary parent. I know there are pros and cons to working to SAH and I know I'll have to mentally readjust but I'm looking forward to it.
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Post by mamabear79 on Jun 4, 2017 16:11:39 GMT -6
So I'm a total newb around here (sporadically posted on my bmb and lurked parenting), but am going to give my two cents here because this is very similar to my situation.
So rewind 3 years ago when DD was born. My H was transitioning out of the military and looking for a job. He got a job right around the time that I was going back to work after maternity leave. I've always been the majority breadwinner by a lot between us. He wasn't really jazzed about the job he got bc he basically got a job for the sake of getting a job. One night over dinner we started talking about childcare options, costs, etc. I threw out the idea of him staying home with DD and after about a week of discussing the pros/cons, we both decided that was the best route for us.
The pros for us - no childcare costs, DH has been able to work towards a college degree so that he will be able to get a more meaningful (to him) job bs just getting "a job." It is nice in the mornings to not have to worry about getting anyone anywhere other than getting myself up and ready for work (I'll make breakfast if everyone is up, but usually I'm gone before they are up and about). It just financially makes sense.
What's been tough: For him: his identity as a SAH parent. He has insecurities about his ability to get a job when the time comes.
For me: having the financial responsibility on my back - it's tough. Especially when my job stresses me out and I want to step down from my current position. I try to remind myself that it's worth it and try to refocus. The financial aspect isn't the toughest part for me. Jealousy that I am not the one at home with them is the toughest part, and is honestly a daily struggle for me. We made this as a team decision and I know it's what's best for our family. I just have to fight back those feelings because I really want to be able to be the one to SAH, but it's just not in the cards for us.
That got really long, sorry. Basically just talk through all of the pros/cons of the situation for you and your family. Really talk about feelings surrounding the decision too. There's no right/wrong answer here - just be throughly explore it and then decide what's best for your family!
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