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Post by sweetsurprise on Nov 29, 2017 11:38:27 GMT -6
Forgot to add the pain of of the nurse pushing on your belly after the C-section. That shit hurts!!!
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Nov 29, 2017 11:53:53 GMT -6
sweetsurprise I totally forgot about that. Something else to look forward to this time.
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Post by benandjerrys on Nov 29, 2017 11:55:01 GMT -6
This thread has been soooo helpful, you guys all have great advice! I love the tips about going in with an open mind- that's what I keep trying to tell myself whenever I get to worked up about anything. One other random worry-did it bother you at all if the baby was laid on your chest and they were still bloody or messy? I know it's silly but I'm afraid I'll want to be like "Hmmm no can you take him back until he is cleaned up!" My mom says that in the moment I won't care at all and I hope she is right. How did your SO handle delivery? Anything specific to prepare DH for or to expect from him? We opted not to have DD washed, the vernix I think it's called is good for them. H and I did her first bath the next day I think (at the hospital), but we didn't rush it. She wasn't gross like in the movies. Omg. H. So I paced the halls for like 20 hours with H. Then I pushed out a baby. The next day, h said, "I know it's nothing like your pain, but man my feet are so sore from all that walking." I should have punched him. Anyway have your H bring sneakers.
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 29, 2017 12:18:25 GMT -6
Oh I thought of something else. The SECOND you get nauseous ask for sometime for it. Especially if you end up with a c section. I have thrown up after every single surgery I’ve had. But not my c section. I warned them and they pumped me with anti nausea meds before, during and after.
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Post by tiffrobot on Nov 29, 2017 13:12:18 GMT -6
I just remembered Post labour contractions while your uterus shrinks again. And yes how the nurses push so hard to feel in there for the day after giving birth to make sure everything is feeling/coming out ok. I think it gets worse with each kid but it was something I wasn’t expecting with my first.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 29, 2017 13:25:34 GMT -6
The stuff onthe baby is not so dramatic/obvious that you are likely to be disgusted by it. I don’t remember clearly but I believe they gave DS a cursory wipe down and popped him right in my arms while DH cut the cord and all I recall is some dried white stuff. There is a lot of stuff going on during birth that I would normally find disgusting, but in the moment it will barely register because there was so much happening.
Fun fact (and TMI warning!) when your water breaks it can mean that only one of two bags has broken. There is a sac inside a sac. So my water broke at home and I assumed that was the end of it. Except the other bag wasn’t broken so as DS was being born the second one basically exploded all over everyone. Not hilarious to me at the time as I was focused on other things, but I look back now and crack up at the look on everyone’s faces. Surely they’ve seen it all, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t a bit surprised in that moment.
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pinkcat
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Post by pinkcat on Nov 29, 2017 13:49:21 GMT -6
I am definitely bookmarking this thread to read again over the next few weeks as delivery starts to get closer. You ladies are awesome and thanks again for all the great advice!
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Post by girlonabike on Nov 29, 2017 17:01:16 GMT -6
Here's mine:
1. Hospital time does not operate the same as time anywhere else. 20 minutes = 2 hours. So if you ask for something (an epidural, the nurse, etc) expect it to take longer than they tell you. Plan accordingly.
2. At a hospital, you are one of many patients. Don't expect to see your nurse/OB very often until it's actually time to push.
3. I'm really glad I didn't take my midwife's advice to go get a fancy meal at my favorite dinner when I started labor. I ended up vomiting everything later--I would have been pissed if that had been a $45 steak dinner. Eat, but eat lightly!
4. Labor really is like running a marathon. Except when you cross the finish line, you get to run another one! This was the hardest part for me--I spent over 24 hours in labor and was exhausted. All I wanted to do when my son was born was rest....but the nurses would not let me. Between vital checks and the constant push to breastfeed, I thought I was going to lose my mind. This time I will be much more assertive in making sure I am able to rest after delivery. If that means having the baby taken to the nursery or using formula to feed, so be it. You need to take care of yourself, and the typical American birth experience unfortunately means that moms are left un-cared for. (I had a horrid recovery experience, if you can't tell).
5. Birth plans are great, but remember that most of it is out of your control. You can't control when you go into labor, where you go into labor, the baby's position, the umbilical cord, your blood pressure, traffic, the weather and all of the other myriad circumstances that can determine the type of birth you have.
5. Epidurals are magical and there is NO SHAME in having one. I went in planning on having an un-medicated birth. But due to unforeseen circumstances, my labor plan had to go out the window. I was vomiting uncontrollably, in danger of dehydration, and in so much pain that I wasn't aware of anything at all. Once that epidural kicked in, that all changed and I was actually able to *enjoy* the experience. If I had continued un-medicated, I would have been miserable and missed everything because I was so out of it.
6. Make sure your birth partner actually pays attention during any birth classes that you take. It became *glaringly* obvious that my husband only attended our birth class to make me happy, and did not pay attention to what was actually happening. I really needed him during labor, and he was so overwhelmed by everything that he mentally checked out on me. He just shut down.
7. Birth is only a tiny sliver of your experience of being a parent. It's just the beginning.
8. Holy hot flashes. The hormone dump after giving birth is no joke. I'm glad it will be winter this time. Having hot flashes in the middle of August sucked.
9. Do not be afraid to be seen sooner than 6 weeks if you feel something is wrong. I ended up being diagnosed with severe post-partum anxiety. I knew something was wrong, but I felt like nothing could be done until that appointment. I put myself through a whole lot of unnecessary pain if I had just called and told them something was wrong with me.
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Post by hiimjamie on Nov 29, 2017 17:51:37 GMT -6
Echoing girlonabike, if you’re feeling off mention it. Ask for help. I haven’t mentioned it here but I’ve had a really really hard time mentally this pregnancy and I so hard to tell my doctor and ask for help. I was so nervous. Why couldn’t I be happy when I was pregnant? Zoloft has helped so much and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I plan on increasing my dose after the baby comes bc I know if I’m feeling this now it will be ten times worse after. Anyway, take care of yourself.
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Post by watermelonseed on Nov 29, 2017 19:18:32 GMT -6
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smash
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Post by smash on Nov 29, 2017 23:33:47 GMT -6
I did not know that when your water breaks, it continues to leak. I learned this when my water broke. I stuffed a giant towel between my legs and wore that to the hospital. Don’t be like me.
My labor was unexpected and as I was on blood thinners, I couldn’t have an epidural as planned. I ended up doing almost the whole labor unmedicated, for which I had not planned at all. I finally got a Fentanyl drip at roughly 8 cm and my son was born like 15 minutes later.
I did not feel them stitching me up, though I remember it. I was running on adrenaline and joking with my husband about the size of my placenta. There’s video of me yelling at him to come look at how big it was. While they were stitching me up.
I had second degree tearing. The Tylenol did not touch the soreness I had so I basically forced them to give me a script for something stronger when I was discharged. Turned out to be a good thing, because instead of resting at home, we ended up running back and forth between the ped and a lab, K was jaundiced, and we were then admitted to Children’s the day after we were released. I can’t imagine having done all that running with a super sore cooter.
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Post by benandjerrys on Nov 30, 2017 5:56:11 GMT -6
Possible TW
One thing I mention to my mom to be friends is that you should prepare that your babe might not be 100% healthy. I was so focused on L&D I didn't really ever think that the baby might have any health issues. But she had a VSD (small hole in her heart- really common). Weeks later it occurred to me that of the IRL babies I know, like 80% had had some issue at birth. Most were super minor, but some involved NICU stays and one needed surgery. So it happens. It shouldn't have surprised me but it really did.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Nov 30, 2017 7:11:13 GMT -6
benandjerrys very good point. With all the ultrasounds and NIPT testing its easy to just assume everything will be perfect and that’s not true.
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amesie
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Post by amesie on Nov 30, 2017 7:54:38 GMT -6
Re: tearing, I had a 2nd degree tear and I needed a couple stitches. I had the epidural and it completely wore off by the time it was time to push. They gave me a shot of local lidocaine when they stitched me up. I felt a tiny pinch from the needle, but honestly it was nothing compared to the pain of the 9.5lb baby coming out of me.
And re: the unclean baby... it didn’t even phase me when they put her on me. There is so much bodily fluid all over the place at that point... blood, pee, poop, amniotic fluid, sweat... that having the unclean baby put on me literally didn’t phase me in the slightest.
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pippiann
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Post by pippiann on Nov 30, 2017 9:24:41 GMT -6
Forgot to add the pain of of the nurse pushing on your belly after the C-section. That shit hurts!!! Omg seriously the worst! And the first time you stand up, I screamed so loud the charge nurse came in’ 😫
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pippiann
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Post by pippiann on Nov 30, 2017 9:26:56 GMT -6
Oh I thought of something else. The SECOND you get nauseous ask for sometime for it. Especially if you end up with a c section. I have thrown up after every single surgery I’ve had. But not my c section. I warned them and they pumped me with anti nausea meds before, during and after. This. I was cold and then hot and then I started dry heaving while they were stitching me up. WORST
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Nov 30, 2017 14:41:10 GMT -6
Possible TW One thing I mention to my mom to be friends is that you should prepare that your babe might not be 100% healthy. I was so focused on L&D I didn't really ever think that the baby might have any health issues. But she had a VSD (small hole in her heart- really common). Weeks later it occurred to me that of the IRL babies I know, like 80% had had some issue at birth. Most were super minor, but some involved NICU stays and one needed surgery. So it happens. It shouldn't have surprised me but it really did. Very good point. DD3 was born with aplasia cutis, basically a spot where the epidermis didn’t form correctly (it turned into a bald spot that we had surgically removed just after her first birthday). It is such a minor thing, but it surprised me, and it was a sore subject for a few weeks. She had an MRI at 8 days old (to make sure only the epidermis was affected, not skull or brain), and as I mentioned, the eventual surgery. But in the grand scheme of things it was just a blip. I just wasn’t mentally prepared for anything to be wrong.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 30, 2017 20:05:40 GMT -6
Yep, even if it is something minor, when there is a problem it can feel very overwhelming. DS having jaundice felt like such a bit deal. He took awhile to get his numbers on the right track and they were talking about readmitting him for light therapy and DH and I were basically freaking out. Looking back we were massively overreacting because we were exhausted, plus my hormones were a mess and I’m usually the rational, calmer one in our relationship. But you just don’t have quite the mental resources you usually do, and that is not anyone’s fault.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Nov 30, 2017 20:08:24 GMT -6
Ha, smash, so true about water breaking. I didn’t start contracting until after it broke so I hung at home for about 10 hours before we went to the hospital. I think I literally changed my clothes five times before I finally realized that a) it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon and b) a big pad was basically useless. At that point I just gave up on clothes and sat on a towel until it finally slowed down.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Nov 30, 2017 20:13:55 GMT -6
I honestly disliked the constant water gushing out more than any other part of labor and delivery. Even with the epidural you can’t mask The sensation of water poring out of you. I think I had my sheets changed twice during labor because the giant bed pad thing just wasn’t containing it. I’d have a big contraction and more fluid would just gush out. It felt gross.
I also hate being unnecessarily wet for any reason (takes a lot of want to get me in a pool or hot tub) so that might have something to do with it. 🤷🏼♀️
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Post by girlonabike on Nov 30, 2017 20:34:17 GMT -6
Speaking of amniotic fluid, your water might not "break" at first, but leak instead. For a week before I went into labor, I kept feeling a slight trickling sensation (I just figured it was crotch sweat because it was August). Turns out I was leaking amniotic fluid the entire time. Had no idea. Wasn't a big deal, but if I had know I might have been induced sooner (I was 8 days overdue).
Also, I never saw my mucus plug. No idea when I lost it.
The only reason I knew I was going into labor is because I was at my weekly NST monitoring, and the technician noticed I was having regular contractions (I had no idea. Yet.) 6 hours later, and I definitely started feeling them (labor pains feel like really wicked period cramps, by the way).
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Post by benandjerrys on Nov 30, 2017 21:15:42 GMT -6
I remember noticing my water breaking/leaking which was my first labor sign. After that I have no memory of the amniotic fluid at all. 🤷🤷
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Nov 30, 2017 21:42:57 GMT -6
Yep, even if it is something minor, when there is a problem it can feel very overwhelming. DS having jaundice felt like such a bit deal. He took awhile to get his numbers on the right track and they were talking about readmitting him for light therapy and DH and I were basically freaking out. Looking back we were massively overreacting because we were exhausted, plus my hormones were a mess and I’m usually the rational, calmer one in our relationship. But you just don’t have quite the mental resources you usually do, and that is not anyone’s fault. DD also had jaundice and had to stay in the little light box for 5 days. I remember one of the mornings that I thought we were going home, the doctor came in and said they wanted to keep her one more day till the numbers were better, and I just started sobbing right there. He was so confused. He was like, "You know she's fine....it's not a big deal, she'll be ok...." But yea. Sobbing.
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mrsp84
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Post by mrsp84 on Nov 30, 2017 23:15:02 GMT -6
I definitely did not have that overwhelming moment when DD was born. I pushed for 2.5 hours and was in labor for almost 36 hours before that. So I was exhausted. I think I was just in shock and over tired. Of course as the hours went by, things sank in that she was mine and I loved it. Even after we got home though, I wasn’t really head over heels in love with her. I struggled with breastfeeding and getting her to latch so it was mostly frustrating. Eventually, I chose to just go with formula and fell in love all over again.
Yes to stool softener! Take them immediately after delivery. Yes to long phone cords, a pillow, toiletries and warm fuzzy socks. I was so glad I brought socks. The hospital can be cold. Even when I was pushing, I felt cold. Fuzzy socks went on and it was much more comfortable. Bring a bath robe or something to cover up. Nursing bras, tanks and something loose to go home in. If you have a c section, you don’t want your pants rubbing on the incision and if you have a vaginal delivery...well you’ll just want to be in comfy clothes.
I brought a boppy, but didn’t end up using it. It’s bulky and I wouldn’t recommend bringing it in.
Make sure you know how to use your car seat BEFORE you put your baby in it 🤦🏼♀️🙈. We could not figure out how to pull the car seat off the base once we got home and I ended up having to pull her out of the car seat and carried her in the house. Rookie mistake.
Take ALL the freebies with you. We seriously stocked up and left with a duffle bag full of newborn diapers, wipes, nose sucker, formula...anything they wanted to give me, I was willing to take.
As for baby: you really don’t need much. A going home outfit, blanket and maybe a white noise machine. We used our sleep sheep in the hospital almost immediately. A pacifier if you plan on using one is a good idea, too, but our hospital provides them.
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Post by jessijean on Nov 30, 2017 23:45:39 GMT -6
Ahhh yes, water breaking. We were packing up to head to the hospital anyway. As I waited for DH to pee I felt a gush. It's weird to me now but I didn't even change because I was literally at the door. I grabbed a towel to sit on for the ride.
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Post by sunfrogger on Dec 1, 2017 2:10:22 GMT -6
You ladies have it pretty well covered.
I was induced with my DD so I am personally terrified of L&D on my own. I didn't have any contractions outside of once my water was broken for me after lots of intervention. Ultimately I had a vaginal delivery that went really well but it was the getting started thing that had my body stumped.
Holy hormone dump and sweats. I slept in a nursing bra/tank with disposable pads and little booty shorts for two months pp.... With barely a sheet over me in December. So. Be warned.
Agreed to be mindful of your own recovery. Looking back I think I had PPA/D with my DD and I never said anything. I have some antenatal anxiety issues right now with so I'll be keeping an eye on them for sure with delivery. My H didn't stay home with me at all though bc commission based work at the time, so I think having him home for 3 weeks to adjust will be much more helpful.
I actually love my boppy. I had it in the car but we didn't take it in bc as a ft it was intimidating. I'll take it in this time bc I'm more familiar with how the holds feel for nursing with it.
My bag will be : nursing tanks (I just bought like 7 on black Friday so that I can wash them more frequently), loose sweatpants, socks, my camera.. Laptop & iPad bc school.. My own toiletries.. Maybe a throwaway towel, theirs are small but it is a massacre scene when you shower.. Long phone cord.. Two outfits for baby and a blanket or two from home to care for sending it to the dog.
With my DD I also need to plan gifts to /from the sisters so that's on my radar too.. I have a stuffed bear for baby from her sister but I need to figure something for my DD from the baby.
The mesh undies they give you in the hospital are king. Steal them all for the first week home while the flow is strong.
As for lochia go with your gut. If you feel like you're passing too many clots or they're really big, call. It's literally the worst ever and I'm not looking forward to 4-5 weeks straight of bleeding.
I utilized the hell out of the hospital LCs. Don't be nervous to keep them long and ask them to watch your latch until you're comfortable with getting it on your own if you plan to bf.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Dec 1, 2017 6:09:24 GMT -6
Five days is a long time, bassa! I would have been upset too. I think some doctors and nurses forget they are talking to people who aren’t always capable of being totally rational. The nurse practitioner who came to talk to me about the jaundice was really stern about feeding him every two hours. Looking back, I think she was just trying to express that it was important. At the time, I just felt like she was yelling at me and saying I was going to hurt my baby if I got too lazy to time everything to the exact minute. I burst into tears as soon as she left the room and DH was so furious I finally had to tell him to calm down because he was stressing me out.
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Post by marygracerich on Dec 1, 2017 6:49:21 GMT -6
My water broke with a very distinct “pop” feeling. That is not the norm. Most people just feel the gush. I also saw my mucous plug about two hours before that. The nurse that taught the labor class gave me the best tip for figuring out if your water broke. Your fluid should smell like the ocean. It literally smells like ocean water is coming out of you. If you have extra fluids and you smell the beach, your water is broken in some way. 😊
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Post by sunfrogger on Dec 1, 2017 9:43:20 GMT -6
My water was broken for me after my Foley was pulled. It was some serious gushing.
Also like I said I was induced with my DD so if anyone is looking at that option I'm happy to share my experience!
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Dec 1, 2017 11:45:13 GMT -6
My water broke with a literal “pop” sound too. And then gushed a little but not so much to make a mess— in fact I think I just changed panti-liners & wore the same pants to the hospital lol. But I knew that’s what it was & the General crampy feeling I had before was all of a sudden ridiculously intense & thats when I knew I was in labor. I hope that happens again bc it was so nice to just know it was time haha.
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