Sparkly
Platinum
Posts: 1,401 Likes: 7,163 
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Post by Sparkly on Jun 1, 2017 6:52:17 GMT -6
I shall change topics: I always have to sit in the middle seat when I travel with my father and it is rude AF how both window and aisle seat seem to think they own both arm rests on either side. I am here, with my elbows glued to my sides and people still touching me and we haven't even taken off yet. 😒😠😤 Airplane seats need a redesign. Why do you have to sit in the middle? He always books me the middle seat because he always takes the window. I suppose I could say something but it's not always the worst. Right now it happens to be the worst. The other guy next me to is also fidgety and it's making me a little crazy. |
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 6:52:24 GMT -6
Why do you have to sit in the middle? Patriarchy I guess my question is why does she have to be seated right next to him? My H and I both hate the middle so we often book flights where I'm in the aisle and he's in the window. Sorry, stranger in the middle! |
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Post by angrybacon on Jun 1, 2017 6:52:46 GMT -6
For me, I'm going to take the WOC here at their word. I think asking for clarification is one thing (in the interest of highlighting the issues and maybe taking repeat offenders to task), but questioning it or hinting that they are off base is not how I would approach this, and I do see that happening in this thread.
I am a nobody here, though. I've typed and deleted this a few times now.
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Post by harvestmoon on Jun 1, 2017 6:53:28 GMT -6
Guys, "I don't see the difference/don't see it happening more to POC" is just proof of your privilege. Listen when you are being told about an experience that you are well aware you are insulated from.
I absolutely receive comments about my wording and tone at work all the time that I am positive would not be said to white or male coworkers. Whether it is your intent or not to treat POC differently it happens. If you don't "see" it happening perhaps also question whether you are conscious of your own biases.
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sterling
Global Moderator 
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Post by sterling on Jun 1, 2017 6:53:30 GMT -6
I think calling out someone as agreessive/combative/angry more or less has the same effect as telling someone to calm down.
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 6:53:50 GMT -6
Why do you have to sit in the middle? He always books me the middle seat because he always takes the window. I suppose I could say something but it's not always the worst. Right now it happens to be the worst. The other guy next me to is also fidgety and it's making me a little crazy. Tell him next time! I'm sure he just doesn't realize how bad it sucks and would book something else for you. |
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bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
Posts: 28,444
Likes: 169,649
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Post by bobyn on Jun 1, 2017 6:54:02 GMT -6
Just to add to shorts opinions, I wish boys shorts were shorter. I don't need my 4 year old wearing shorts that dip below his knees. Jumping Bean and Cat & Jack are good lengths for B. He's a pretty average height. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 6:54:26 GMT -6
Just to be clear. Im not mad nor do I think that scoutboo is a racist. |
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pesto
Sapphire
Posts: 3,229
Likes: 19,529
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Post by pesto on Jun 1, 2017 6:54:53 GMT -6
My UO is that I have no problem with my kid playing with messy things. Kinetic sand, play dough, bubbles, etc. If he's occupied I am happy. If it's super messy we take it outside.
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 6:54:56 GMT -6
I think calling out someone as agreessive/combative/angry more or less has the same effect as telling someone to calm down. You should smile  |
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 6:55:22 GMT -6
If we called GM aggressive every time she acted that way the word would lose all meaning lol So it doesn't lose meaning with Mcbenny? She had to put a scale in of her emotions since everything she says is read at 11. Giantpeach is also here saying the same thing. And not for nothing I've have a few exchanges where "my aggression" was used to disregard the rest of the conversation. So yeah, either use it sparingly for everyone. Or not at all. I was just joking |
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 1, 2017 6:55:44 GMT -6
You feel it happens here to POC in an uneven amount when compared to white people? I'm not arguing I'm genuinely interested in your take. I feel this place is nothing if not an equal opportunity arguing ground with everyone. Yes, let's take GM for example. She comes at people ALL THE TIME, but y'all shrug it off "Oh that's just GM being GM". PB says "No it's not" and she's confrontational. If you think I have not been called angry, aggressive, confrontational, and any other synonym you can come up with, you are dead wrong. |
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kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
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Post by kmkd on Jun 1, 2017 6:56:10 GMT -6
Im here and I'm listening. Except when it hurts your feelings. Then it's a person issue not a race issue. Y'all kill Me sometimes. I swear. I know this is in reference to what I said, and I'm trying to be clear that I am not expressing myself well. I'm just going to step away. |
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 1, 2017 6:57:19 GMT -6
If we called GM aggressive every time she acted that way the word would lose all meaning lol I am very rarely that way any more, but ok. Continue to assume I am the same person I was 10 years ago when I very much earned that reputation. |
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
Posts: 58,858 Likes: 444,221
Member is Online
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Post by Cher on Jun 1, 2017 6:57:42 GMT -6
I feel a way about being bitter that someone didn't announce their pregnancy directly to you. Nobody owes you any official statement about their body.
I know I am 100% projecting because I'm going through it right now, but I feel the need to say it.
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sterling
Global Moderator
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Post by sterling on Jun 1, 2017 6:57:57 GMT -6
I think calling out someone as agreessive/combative/angry more or less has the same effect as telling someone to calm down. You should smile  |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 6:58:05 GMT -6
It is a big deal, to me, at least. I don't have the words to articulate my thoughts because I just started processing it, but I think this is a worthwhile topic to ponder for a bit. For me, both that calling women aggressive is an insult- often the same behavior from a man would be assertive or so typical/ common/ expected that it wouldn't be worth commenting on. And then the added impact of using synonyms of aggressive to define behavior and words of WOC. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 6:59:00 GMT -6
Yes, let's take GM for example. She comes at people ALL THE TIME, but y'all shrug it off "Oh that's just GM being GM". PB says "No it's not" and she's confrontational. If you think I have not been called angry, aggressive, confrontational, and any other synonym you can come up with, you are dead wrong. I'd say 9 times out of 10 people give you a pass. |
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on Jun 1, 2017 6:59:38 GMT -6
Are preferred car colors about to become regional here? I have never taken into account climate/weather when looking at the color of cars. Never had an issue with that. Dirty South. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2017 7:00:12 GMT -6
I wasn't going to say it but that's exactly who I was thinking of. Lol. Well, and the thing is the first time it was said to @frank it was serious and she was offended. It's a loaded term, even more loaded when directed at WOC. This is true. And yes I absolutely think that many of the WOC here are dismissed or shrugged off as aggressive much more often than the white women. Period. We can think of two whites women (me and GM) who have been called aggressive - and for me at least it's turned into a joke. The tone often for WOC is that they need to label their posts with 1-10 or say "this is my opinion only" so as not to offend our fragilities. Important for us (white women) to listen and absorb, not try to whitesplain. And at the end of the day it's not the WOC responsibility to educate us on how to do better. |
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Post by imapenguin on Jun 1, 2017 7:01:11 GMT -6
I guess my question is why does she have to be seated right next to him? My H and I both hate the middle so we often book flights where I'm in the aisle and he's in the window. Sorry, stranger in the middle! We usually 2 aisle seats in neighboring rows. No one deserves a middles row. Love yourself. |
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jun 1, 2017 7:01:15 GMT -6
If you think I have not been called angry, aggressive, confrontational, and any other synonym you can come up with, you are dead wrong. I'd say 9 times out of 10 people give you a pass. We will have to agree to disagree there. |
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Post by angelashly on Jun 1, 2017 7:02:09 GMT -6
I don't agree that it's difficult to find "appropriate" shorts for girls. I see/hear these complaints every summer and I don't get it. Where are you looking? I have never seen these supposed baby daisy dukes keep hearing about. When the shorts are called shortie and they don't even go down to the middle of her thigh they are too short. Yes I've found Bermuda length but she doesn't want to wear knee length either and shouldn't have to |
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 7:02:23 GMT -6
You should smile I can't tell from the gif if you thought I was serious or not I'm failing at humor today |
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mack
Amethyst
Posts: 6,437
Likes: 49,767
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Post by mack on Jun 1, 2017 7:02:42 GMT -6
People post ok and k all the time in response to conversations. It's a thing that's been done. Didn't we all get into an argument about this a bit ago. For me personally I generally read any response of "OK" or "k" as somewhat passive aggressive and dismissive. That is almost always my own person reading. poor lonefox is both passive aggressive and combative. She can't win today. |
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Peekaru
Sapphire
Posts: 2,533 Likes: 10,671
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Post by Peekaru on Jun 1, 2017 7:03:14 GMT -6
So then could you say white cars shouldn't drive in the snow? Once it snows it doesn't matter what color the car once was, they are all half covered in slush/ice anyway. |
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sterling
Global Moderator
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Post by sterling on Jun 1, 2017 7:03:16 GMT -6
I can't tell from the gif if you thought I was serious or not I'm failing at humor today I knew you were joking! That's my face when people tell me that. |
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Post by hellosweetie on Jun 1, 2017 7:03:17 GMT -6
Smores are gross!
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Post by angelashly on Jun 1, 2017 7:03:46 GMT -6
I don't agree that it's difficult to find "appropriate" shorts for girls. I see/hear these complaints every summer and I don't get it. Where are you looking? I have never seen these supposed baby daisy dukes keep hearing about. My kid is in the 99th for height. So yes. It's difficult. Also this |
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Post by SweetPotato on Jun 1, 2017 7:03:54 GMT -6
If we called GM aggressive every time she acted that way the word would lose all meaning lol I am very rarely that way any more, but ok. Continue to assume I am the same person I was 10 years ago when I very much earned that reputation. Did you get to the part where I said it was a joke? I'm just trying to lighten the mood with humor and failing miserably |
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