rm2013
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Post by rm2013 on Aug 25, 2017 13:22:36 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. I've been in your shoes. If you want to talk, vent, anything feel free to pm 💗
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 25, 2017 13:46:03 GMT -6
Thanks everyone. My doctor said the ultrasound wasn't difinitive either way. They sent me for blood work today but the ultrasound showed I was measuring 6 weeks 2 days when I should have been 7 weeks 6 days. The doctor said everything could either end up being ok or the pregnancy might not continue. So basically they told me nothing new.
I have another ultrasound and more blood work scheduled for September 5th. They said the fact that I've had no bleeding or cramping, and that I have terrible nausea and sore breasts are all good signs. But obviously these mean nothing if it's a mmc.
So I'm just in a holding pattern until the 5th when they will be able to see if there has been any growth and if they can detect baby and heartbeat.
I guess my one ray of hope is that I have a tilted uterus and I have read that this can make it harder to detect baby and heart beat in early pregnancy. So I guess at this point I'm expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I didn't have an ultrasound with my daughter until the 12 week NT scan. Because of the position of my uterus they couldn't pick up her heartbeat on the doppler until around 14 weeks. So I'm holding on to a little bit of optimism. But not much.
Of course my ultrasound is scheduled for my first day back at work...so that will be fun. I'll have to leave work early so hopefully they can get someone to cover the last half of my last period class on the first day back. Poop.
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Post by sailsandstitches on Aug 25, 2017 14:19:08 GMT -6
I'm sorry you're still in limbo sammysam. Hopefully the blood test gives some positive news.
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Post by clementine on Aug 25, 2017 14:22:33 GMT -6
sammysam I'm hoping for the best for you! Hopefully the next couple weeks go by quickly so you're not stuck in this limbo for long. Hugs!!
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Post by smootiepie on Aug 25, 2017 15:24:53 GMT -6
Limbo is the absolute worst. Hoping the time between now and the 5th can just fly by for you.
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auri
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Post by auri on Aug 25, 2017 15:54:55 GMT -6
I'm sorry that you are still in limbo with no real answers right now. FX that your next appointment goes better.
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Post by leatherpants on Aug 25, 2017 22:45:01 GMT -6
Man, I'm sorry sammysam. I'll keep you in my thoughts. I hope time flies by and you have great results next time
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polson
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Post by polson on Aug 26, 2017 3:49:50 GMT -6
hopefully the next few weeks will go quickly for you. i'll be thinking of you and sending all the positive thoughts!
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 26, 2017 6:18:48 GMT -6
When I went to get my bloodwork done DD came with me. She doesn't know anything about this pregnancy as we haven't told her. The lab tech saw we were there for hcg levels and so kept asking her if she was excited for the baby and if she wanted a girl or boy etc. I had to keep adding "if one day we ever have a baby..." to everything she asked. I finally just told the tech I was there because things weren't looking good. She was very nice but I wish people wouldn't always assume that my 3 year old knows everything that is going on. The intern at my doctor's office did the same thing at my confirmation visit. Just venting.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Aug 26, 2017 6:35:00 GMT -6
Sending good vibes. I hope the time flies and you get good news And hopefully a nurse who can keep their mouth shut in front of your 3 year old.
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auri
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Post by auri on Aug 26, 2017 6:58:49 GMT -6
sammysam I'm sorry the nurse wasn't getting the hint.
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shellyr
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Post by shellyr on Aug 27, 2017 10:29:01 GMT -6
I'm sorry you are in this limbo. I'm hoping for the best outcome for you. Keeping you in my thoughts.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Aug 27, 2017 17:14:27 GMT -6
I'm sorry, hoping for a positive outcome at your next appointment.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 31, 2017 10:13:54 GMT -6
Sorry. Just needing to vent a bit. My pregnancy symptoms are getting worse...but I don't know if it's just my mind making them worse and even if they are it doesn't mean anything if it's a B/O. I'm just feeling dumb. I'm pregnant. Throwing up, gaining weight, sporting a very obvious blump. But maybe I'm not. I don't really know how to word it. Now I have to go in to work and try to explain it to admin and beg them to let me take the last half hour off on the first day of school without docking me a half day sick day since I might end up needing them if things don't work out on Tuesday.
And I feel like if I hope for the best I'm just setting myself up for more disappointment. I tried to talk to SO but he just keeps repeating his "whatever happens happens and we'll get through it no matter what" which I know but he doesn't seem to get it.
On top of which people at work will notice and I don't want any questions because I don't know how to explain that I'm pregnant but maybe I'm not.
Blah.
I wish they hadn't done a dating ultrasound and just waited until the NT scan like they did with DD. At least then there would have been a difinitive answer immediately instead of this maybe baby limbo.
I'm going to go throw up now and then try to get DD to come to work with me so I can figure out how to get time off on Tuesday.
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Rama
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Post by Rama on Aug 31, 2017 10:24:49 GMT -6
So many hugs, sammysam. Limbo is the worst and I wish it on no one. It's okay to feel out of control and scared. SOs are so great about most things (usually), but limbo is usually the hardest for them to understand. I'm sure he's trying to be supportive by letting you know what your next step is; it's okay to ask him to just hold you and let you cry. You trust him to be there and figure it out after, but maybe let him know you need to feel validated in your feelings now. I have to keep repeating the loss mantras to myself, too, with my situation. You are pregnant until proven otherwise. Right now you are pregnant and you love your baby. And if you just need to vent or cry or scream or anything to someone in private, my inbox is open always. <3
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Post by sweetc129 on Aug 31, 2017 10:38:53 GMT -6
I'm so sorry you are in this limbo, it's the worst. We are here if you ever need to vent or scream. We've got your back. I hope you get answers soon, and many T&P for a growing healthy baby. <3 ya!
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Post by clementine on Aug 31, 2017 10:46:40 GMT -6
I'm so sorry! Hopefully work will be understanding with everything. I'm sure it's so scary to feel like you don't have control over this. Sometimes I have to remind MH that I don't always need him to make me feel better or solve the situation, just let me vent and tell you my feelings and you can acknowledge them and just be there for me while I'm feeling sad/scared/worried/etc. Still thinking all the positive thoughts for you in the upcoming week. ❤️
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yianna
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Post by yianna on Aug 31, 2017 11:09:18 GMT -6
You absolutely need to vent.
And be angry. And sad. Even if you don't know where this is actually headed, or not.
Is someone going with you to the ultrasound next week? I just worry that if you do get bad news, that you have someone with you to drive you home. When I had my 'big' loss, there's no way I would have been able to drive. I was a wreck. And even though you know that's a possibility, I just want to make sure you'll be able to get home/work where ever you need to go.
And I'm super sorry about the having to take time off and the questions people may ask.
I am hoping though that the last sono was just a bad view. And you'll be fine.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 31, 2017 12:18:48 GMT -6
Thanks everyone. The support means so much. I don't really have anyone IRL that I want to talk to about this so it's a little lonely right now. yianna I'm going by myself to the ultrasound. I like doing things on my own and I'm one of those people who hates when other people see them upset. SO needs to be available to pick up DD from school around the same time as the us and I'd rather he is there for her on her first day back so I don't have to show up to her school upset. I've always done things on my own. It's just more comfortable for me. I can deal with my emotions before I have to face anyone else.
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yianna
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Post by yianna on Aug 31, 2017 12:23:24 GMT -6
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Post by sailsandstitches on Aug 31, 2017 12:59:50 GMT -6
sammysam vent away. I can't imagine what you're feeling not knowing for this long.
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rm2013
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Post by rm2013 on Aug 31, 2017 13:03:53 GMT -6
sammysam I'm so sorry you are going through this! I am praying so hard you get good news!! If you need to vent you can feel free to PM me. I know how hard this is for you. I'm in a sort of limbo myself. My past two pregnancies ended around 9 weeks due to a trisomy. Even after a good initial scan. So in spite of all the symptoms and all day MS I have to wait till 10w to see if (ETA more optimistic ) everything is ok.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 31, 2017 13:07:45 GMT -6
rm2013 I'm sorry about your previous losses and that you have to sit and wait for news too. It sucks. Hopefully everything will go smoothly at your ultrasound and you'll be able to move past that milestone and start feeling more comfortable and confident about everything. I'm sending good thoughts your way!
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 31, 2017 13:16:31 GMT -6
I saw my department head at work today (she actually used to be my high school teacher so I've know her for a long time). I let her know earlier in the week what was going on just in case something happens while I'm at work. She finagled it so she can cover for me on Tuesday without me having to take a half day off.
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rm2013
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Post by rm2013 on Aug 31, 2017 13:16:46 GMT -6
Thanks! And right back atcha! I'm rooting so hard for you, I so want you to get good news!
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Post by ArielMermaid on Aug 31, 2017 13:24:56 GMT -6
Vent as much as you need. We are here. Crossing my fingers for you. I'm glad you got work squared away.
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polson
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Post by polson on Aug 31, 2017 14:35:40 GMT -6
+1 to what everyone else has said. i can't imagine how hard this is to go through, so vent away we are here for you!
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Post by alwayscheese on Aug 31, 2017 14:41:32 GMT -6
Yes sammysam vent all you need. I'm not as good with words as some others here, but I want you to know I care.
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Post by mattsgirl2004 on Aug 31, 2017 15:10:34 GMT -6
Just here to add to the love and hugs. Vent as much as you need you too. I'm sorry that you're stuck in limbo. I know it's such a MF.
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Post by babybean on Aug 31, 2017 15:21:19 GMT -6
Thinking of you. <3
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