Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 15, 2017 7:07:37 GMT -6
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.
**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):
Diagnosis (if applicable):
Updates/questions:
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) :
QOTW : What three objects you own do you value the most?
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Aug 15, 2017 7:14:58 GMT -6
How are you doing? Bonne fete des Acadiens guys! I'm doing awesome right now, despite being exhausted. Kitten has been with us for just over a week and he's hilarious! I really need to get you guys a pic because he's adorable. Plus just lots and lots going on.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched... But not for much longer!
Diagnosis (if applicable): RPL
Updates/questions: I called the hospital yesterday and I'm booked in a months time to get my IUD out, just in time for my 30th birthday. I'm terrified and over the moon at the same time.
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I guess just the fact that I was working SO much and it totally threw me off my cleaning game. I'm off the next two days though, so hopefully I'll get caught up.
QOTW : What three objects you own do you value the most?
My Kitchenaid mixer, my favorite blankie, and I guess my phone?
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 15, 2017 12:41:28 GMT -6
How are you doing? I'm doing okay. I think I'm finally getting out of the crying stage and I'm starting to talk to people again. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since my loss.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC... I think. I'm still on the fence about starting right away. I haven't gotten AF back yet, so I have some more time to think.
Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A
Updates/questions: When I do get my first AF after loss can I use tampons?
Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I finally was starting to go back to the gym and it's helping me feel better, and they are closed this week for renovations. 😧 I know I could go for a walk, but I wanna go to the gym.
QOTW : What three objects you own do you value the most?
My engagement ring and wedding bands, my car, and my blanket my mom made me (I still use it daily and it's 15 years old).
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Aug 16, 2017 5:55:40 GMT -6
This was last night, after I got home from work. The dog was on my lap and the kitten insisted on getting on there too lol. Jealous little so and so.  |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 16, 2017 5:59:10 GMT -6
notmoose, I'm glad you're feeling better. Don't worry if you start feeling worse again though, for most people, it's completely normal to go back and forth a few times. I THINK they recommend using pads, but I'm maybe not the best person to ask since I don't use tampons anyways. Oof, that sucks about your gym. Always seems like they decide to do those sorts of things at the worst possible time. I hope you're able to figure something out.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Aug 16, 2017 6:40:32 GMT -6
How are you doing? Pretty good actually. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related issues, liver disease, enlarged spleen. Updates/questions: none I guess. Debbie downer (a place to vent ): **TW OPP** I feels like literally everyone is pregnant, and I have one friend in particular who starts so many sentences with "well I'm due in December". I need to get over it. I've been there, I know how exciting it is. QOTW : What three objects you own do you value the most? **TW LC mentioned** My memorial necklace and the boy's baby calendars (similar to a baby book)[\spoiler] |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 16, 2017 10:23:44 GMT -6
notmoose, I'm glad you're feeling better. Don't worry if you start feeling worse again though, for most people, it's completely normal to go back and forth a few times. I THINK they recommend using pads, but I'm maybe not the best person to ask since I don't use tampons anyways. Oof, that sucks about your gym. Always seems like they decide to do those sorts of things at the worst possible time. I hope you're able to figure something out. Thank you. I did end up going for an almost 7 mile walk yesterday, didn't mean to go that far but oh well. Besides being exhausted it felt good. I have another question for anyone who might know... when will I stop getting positive HPTs? I took one last Wednesday (1 week AL) and today. Still positive. They are pretty light, this week a bit lighter than last. |
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Post by notelsie on Aug 16, 2017 14:51:10 GMT -6
How are you doing? Better lately. We just got back on Saturday evening from a much needed Florida beach vacation. I feel like I was able to recharge a little bit. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Still haven't gotten my first period  Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS Updates/questions: Nothing really. Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : After researching and calling several OB offices I finally found one that can get me in before next year. I just want my period so I can move forward dammit. And screw faulty wondfos.. they made me insane for like 2 weeks. QOTW : What three objects you own do you value the most? Wedding rings, charm bracelet, poetry notebook.
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Post by notelsie on Aug 16, 2017 15:02:03 GMT -6
notmoose, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll be sending love your way <3
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 16, 2017 20:05:19 GMT -6
notmoose, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll be sending love your way <3 Thank you! |
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Aug 17, 2017 5:59:04 GMT -6
Speedy eek! Getting so close!! And that is a cute kitty. notmoose I'm so sorry about your loss. *hugs* notelsie I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation. I'm sorry you haven't gotten your period back, it such a frustration to feel like you're in limbo.
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 22, 2017 10:51:35 GMT -6
Is it true you are more fertile after a miscarriage or is that an old wives tale?
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Aug 22, 2017 18:51:06 GMT -6
Is it true you are more fertile after a miscarriage or is that an old wives tale? I'm sorry, I'm not sure. I wish I knew though. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 22, 2017 20:14:36 GMT -6
Is it true you are more fertile after a miscarriage or is that an old wives tale? I'm sorry, I'm not sure. I wish I knew though. I've had people tell me that recently and read it online. But idk that I really believe it. I hope it's true though. |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 22, 2017 22:16:57 GMT -6
notmoose There's no real proof to it, but a lot of anecdotal evidence points to yes, after any pregnancy, no matter how it ends, you do have a period where your body is more receptive to conception. I wonder if it's got something to do with the lining of your uterus and/or progesterone already in your system?
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 22, 2017 22:29:53 GMT -6
Also, I need to vent and I know this is not really the right place for this, but I don't know where else to put it and something about here feels comforting.
So, I have a big issue with rejection. I get myself worked up into a tizzy whenever there's even a chance of rejection. I'm fairly certain I'm ADHD, and that is a part of that.
Anyways, I've been planning my 30th birthday party for a few months now, and we're like a month out. All through the summer, I've been kind of brooding because I keep seeing pictures of my group out doing things that I can't go to because of my work. There's also been a few times when I wasn't even asked if I wanted to go. Again, I know logically it's because of work, but I would have liked to know, you know?
Anyways, H and I just got home from a movie and I find that my best friends brother has uploaded a whole bunch of pictures from the summer, including at least one cook out with literally everyone I know there. I knew my best friend was going, but I wasn't told that everyone else was going too.
It was the last straw and I broke down. I'm still on the verge of tears thinking about it. I don't have any family close, and even the last time my in laws visited, they left before I got out of work. I just feel like everyone hates me right now and can't stand to be around me. Even my fucking dog.
At this point, I'm considering just outright cancelling my birthday party and just hanging out with my mom while she's up for a visit. At least I know she'll want to be around me.
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Aug 23, 2017 5:54:11 GMT -6
Speedy I'm so sorry. Being or even just feeling rejected is so very painful. Is there anyone in the group you feel comfortable asking why you haven't even been invited? Or just explain to them that it hurts to not be included even if it's likely you won't be able to attend. Honestly, from my point of view it seems as though they should at least allow you to decide whether it's something you could attend or not. Can you do any self care things to make you feel better? A bubble bath or massage, or whatever make you feel good? Have you received any RSVP's for the birthday party?
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Risscaboobs
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Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
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Post by Risscaboobs on Aug 23, 2017 7:57:33 GMT -6
I hope it's okay for me to post here. I haven't intro'd or anything here before. If it's not okay, let me know, and I'll bow out. Speedy, I went through something similar to this a couple of years ago, and I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to rejection. I often feel like people will just not show up or something. Not getting invited to things really bothers me. I finally just told my two closest friends of the group a couple of months ago that it hurts when they don't even invite me, even if they think I won't be able to come. Now I am getting invitations all of the time. I am trying to make more of an effort (in my situation, they all live 2 hours from me - so it's the distance, not usually work, that makes it hard for me to come) to come to some of the events. I try to say "yes" to at least one out of every 4 things. I know that won't always be possible for you if they're scheduling things during work, though. Maybe bring that up too? Ask for things to be scheduled so that you can actually attend? I don't know. I don't know if that's helpful at all, but I hope it is. I wouldn't cancel your birthday party unless you have reason to think that your friends won't attend. Are people RSVPing? Hugs! |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 23, 2017 9:42:15 GMT -6
I appreciate any advice I can get. I know that I've overreacted (I temporarily disabled Facebook) but I also feel like I totally deserve to feel this way. Hubby's birthday is tomorrow, so I'm baking him a cake, and baking is definitely a stress relief for me. I've had a few people RSVP, but maybe like 6 out of 40  Hubby suggested last night that if I want to cancel, that maybe we can just go on a little weekend road trip, out to PEI, or Halifax, or maybe Saint John to do whale watching. |
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Risscaboobs
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Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
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Post by Risscaboobs on Aug 23, 2017 10:26:47 GMT -6
I appreciate any advice I can get. I know that I've overreacted (I temporarily disabled Facebook) but I also feel like I totally deserve to feel this way. Hubby's birthday is tomorrow, so I'm baking him a cake, and baking is definitely a stress relief for me. I've had a few people RSVP, but maybe like 6 out of 40 Hubby suggested last night that if I want to cancel, that maybe we can just go on a little weekend road trip, out to PEI, or Halifax, or maybe Saint John to do whale watching. Whale watching sounds fun!! Some people also SUCK at RSVPing. I remember only getting about half of the RSVPs for our wedding for the total number of people who showed up. Go whichever way will make you happiest. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 23, 2017 11:25:36 GMT -6
notmoose There's no real proof to it, but a lot of anecdotal evidence points to yes, after any pregnancy, no matter how it ends, you do have a period where your body is more receptive to conception. I wonder if it's got something to do with the lining of your uterus and/or progesterone already in your system? That makes sense. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
Posts: 6,457 Likes: 10,896
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Post by notmoose on Aug 23, 2017 11:27:25 GMT -6
Speedy I'm so sorry. Being or even just feeling rejected is so very painful. Is there anyone in the group you feel comfortable asking why you haven't even been invited? Or just explain to them that it hurts to not be included even if it's likely you won't be able to attend. Honestly, from my point of view it seems as though they should at least allow you to decide whether it's something you could attend or not. Can you do any self care things to make you feel better? A bubble bath or massage, or whatever make you feel good? Have you received any RSVP's for the birthday party? This is basically everything I was going to say. I'm sorry you're feeling hurt and rejected, I would feel the same way. |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 24, 2017 8:48:56 GMT -6
Well, my two best friends last night noticed that my Facebook is down and were asking me about what's going on. Didn't say too much, but my local friend is taking me to lunch tomorrow so we'll talk then. I'm also going shopping with a work friend tomorrow morning. Still haven't made a decision about my party. Hubs is urging me to just cancel because he's worried about my mental health if I do it all up and barely anyone shows. I think I scared him with my freak out |
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Aug 25, 2017 18:16:13 GMT -6
After lunch with my bestie today I pretty much have decided that I'm cancelling my party. We'll have supper at a restaurant up here and then go on a road trip down to Nova Scotia and explore some historical sites and wineries, etc.
Also talked to bestie and hubby and I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting on some mild mood enhancers, at least in the short term. Also, they may help my ADHD symptoms, so yay!
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Radley
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Post by Radley on Aug 26, 2017 10:49:36 GMT -6
After lunch with my bestie today I pretty much have decided that I'm cancelling my party. We'll have supper at a restaurant up here and then go on a road trip down to Nova Scotia and explore some historical sites and wineries, etc. Also talked to bestie and hubby and I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting on some mild mood enhancers, at least in the short term. Also, they may help my ADHD symptoms, so yay! I hope everything goes well, and that you enjoy your birthday. I hope the doctor can help as well. |
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
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Post by Risscaboobs on Aug 26, 2017 17:41:20 GMT -6
After lunch with my bestie today I pretty much have decided that I'm cancelling my party. We'll have supper at a restaurant up here and then go on a road trip down to Nova Scotia and explore some historical sites and wineries, etc. Also talked to bestie and hubby and I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting on some mild mood enhancers, at least in the short term. Also, they may help my ADHD symptoms, so yay! I think it's a good call. And yay for talking to your doctor! |
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 26, 2017 22:50:17 GMT -6
After lunch with my bestie today I pretty much have decided that I'm cancelling my party. We'll have supper at a restaurant up here and then go on a road trip down to Nova Scotia and explore some historical sites and wineries, etc. Also talked to bestie and hubby and I'm going to call my doctor and see about getting on some mild mood enhancers, at least in the short term. Also, they may help my ADHD symptoms, so yay! I don't "go here", but just wanted to send virtual hugs. I had a party for my 12th birthday in 6th grade and literally not one person came. I'm not trying to center your struggle on me, but I understand and I see your pain and I'm sorry. |
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cara
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Post by cara on Aug 29, 2017 11:14:25 GMT -6
Speedy - Huge hugs to you. Rejection is a huge anxiety issue for me as well so I can completely relate to your feelings. I'm glad to hear that you've decided to speak with your doctor. I hope medication will help and that you'll be feeling more like yourself soon.
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Post by notelsie on Aug 29, 2017 14:59:10 GMT -6
Speedy, so many hugs <3 I hope you've started to feel a little better lately.. I know how exhausting feelings can become.
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Post by notelsie on Aug 29, 2017 15:00:35 GMT -6
I'm going to a new OB on Friday. I'm really hoping for an ultrasound and blood work since I didn't get any after my loss in May.. I still haven't had my period and it's making me crazy I think it's only going to be a consult since I'm a new patient, but I'm desperate to know that everything is ok. I need a resolution. |
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Hubby suggested last night that if I want to cancel, that maybe we can just go on a little weekend road trip, out to PEI, or Halifax, or maybe Saint John to do whale watching.
