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Post by Betweenthelines on Aug 10, 2017 9:29:30 GMT -6
I just give no fucks. If you're at an 11 with me or around me, I walk away. Tell them to talk to me when they're at a 2. I try to let a lot of shit just roll off my back. I don't have enough time or energy lol lol. I feel like I am ok with dealing with it in the moment, but I tend to internally agonize over everything and I need to figure out how to just let it go. It has taken me a few years to get to where I am now, but now I am like a goldfish with work. I bring nothing home. What happens at work stays at work, and it's all forgotten when that clock strikes 3:30 PM.
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Post by mamallama on Aug 10, 2017 9:31:13 GMT -6
I plan on getting pizza and beer tomorrow for lunch, and I can't wait.
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Post by mamallama on Aug 10, 2017 9:32:37 GMT -6
Betweenthelines, I wish I possessed the ability to leave shit at work. I just....don't know how. It's like I'm WAY to invested.
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Post by Betweenthelines on Aug 10, 2017 9:36:01 GMT -6
mamallama, mh has the same problem and it causes a lot of tension at home. I hate doing it, but I remind him often to please leave work at the door. Then his boss calls him at like 7:30 PM and psychs him back up again.
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Post by mamallama on Aug 10, 2017 9:50:54 GMT -6
Betweenthelines, Work is one of those things the H and I are always talking about. Not like in a negative way necessarily, but we collaborate and talk about business strategies. I wish we didn't sometimes, but...man it's such a huge part of our lives! We've both worked at the same places for 10+ years. I do need to do a better job of leaving at the door sometimes though. Especially when it's a negative day.
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Post by mamallama on Aug 10, 2017 9:54:14 GMT -6
So, school starts in 10 days for DD. I'm so not ready. I still need to buy her gym shoes and supplies (it's a short list), but I am so behind. Last year I had supplies in her closet for a month ready go to. At least I ordered her a ton of clothes. She's going to a new school, and I hope she makes some good friends. It will be nice to live in the actual neighborhood where she goes to school. I want to be a cool school parent! Maybe I can make new friends, too.
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Post by CestLaVie on Aug 10, 2017 9:55:42 GMT -6
I have such a hard time leaving it too because it's an ongoing transmission line construction project and I am on call 24/7. So my issue is if something comes up - like today at the gym - I want to deal with it and give no fucks also because it makes it hard to have a good time. It's like it will suck the air out of whatever I'm doing. It's always some crisis - like oil spill etc and people are worked up and looking to lay blame. I just need to learn how to read something and not have it affect me emotionally lol.
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Post by RunsforWineandCarbs on Aug 10, 2017 10:06:49 GMT -6
if you have a fresh market - go get the london broil panini
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Post by coconutbacon on Aug 10, 2017 10:13:34 GMT -6
I'm sorry for the rough time you're having, jedi. Insurance companies are awful.
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armpants
Moderator
Posts: 3,652 Likes: 12,610
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 10:18:04 GMT -6
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Post by armpants on Aug 10, 2017 10:18:04 GMT -6
CestLaVie I so feel you. Never worked in a construction field, but I've had plenty of jobs that I took home. When shit happens try to remember that even if you're freaking out on the inside, no one else can see it, so fake it that you're breezy. I did that until I actually became breezy. Also I find out helpful to not focus on the problem, focus on the solution. The mistake or whatever has already happened and that can't be changed. So I focus on pouring my energy into fixing it. Hugs and never forget that you are a freaking rockstar!
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Post by CestLaVie on Aug 10, 2017 10:19:12 GMT -6
armpants, thanks!! It actually would be a super nice change if I could become breezy about more things in general haha. Probably good practice!
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Post by booarogue on Aug 10, 2017 10:21:12 GMT -6
lol. I feel like I am ok with dealing with it in the moment, but I tend to internally agonize over everything and I need to figure out how to just let it go. It has taken me a few years to get to where I am now, but now I am like a goldfish with work. I bring nothing home. What happens at work stays at work, and it's all forgotten when that clock strikes 3:30 PM. I really want h to be like this. Any tips?
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armpants
Moderator
Posts: 3,652 Likes: 12,610
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 10:21:36 GMT -6
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Post by armpants on Aug 10, 2017 10:21:36 GMT -6
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Post by booarogue on Aug 10, 2017 10:27:19 GMT -6
CestLaVie I worked in a male dominated field for awhile in damages/claims and then compliance. I was basically the person always getting on them to fix things so I definitely had to deal with a lot of push back and attitude. Yours is 24/7 which makes it hard but setting good limits helps. If I got a call after normal work hours the guys knew they better have all the information I would need or I'd make them call back, or they should be working on the problem too not just expecting me to fix it, etc. Making expectations clear of what you will need if someone calls and your reaction if you don't get it helps. Its hard getting a thick skin and there were times I took my lunch just to go scream in my car or listen to raging pep me up music but it got easier as I earned the respect and was able to accomplish the things that were needed of me.
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Post by booarogue on Aug 10, 2017 10:28:41 GMT -6
It has taken me a few years to get to where I am now, but now I am like a goldfish with work. I bring nothing home. What happens at work stays at work, and it's all forgotten when that clock strikes 3:30 PM. I really want h to be like this. Any tips? And I see your H has the same problem as mine. 😕 Something we used to do that helped was have a set limit for talking about the work day 15-30 minutes and then we had to find other things to talk about.
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Post by CestLaVie on Aug 10, 2017 10:37:02 GMT -6
CestLaVie I worked in a male dominated field for awhile in damages/claims and then compliance. I was basically the person always getting on them to fix things so I definitely had to deal with a lot of push back and attitude. Yours is 24/7 which makes it hard but setting good limits helps. If I got a call after normal work hours the guys knew they better have all the information I would need or I'd make them call back, or they should be working on the problem too not just expecting me to fix it, etc. Making expectations clear of what you will need if someone calls and your reaction if you don't get it helps. Its hard getting a thick skin and there were times I took my lunch just to go scream in my car or listen to raging pep me up music but it got easier as I earned the respect and was able to accomplish the things that were needed of me. Yes, this is really good. I think I would like to set specific times to check my emails and turn off notifications. If it is an emergency, they will call. That email at the gym could've waited the 20 minutes until I was at the office.
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Post by amberlie on Aug 10, 2017 11:12:11 GMT -6
I just made myself a pumping bra out of a cheap sports bra & now my life is at least 11% easier
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Post by Betweenthelines on Aug 10, 2017 11:16:03 GMT -6
It has taken me a few years to get to where I am now, but now I am like a goldfish with work. I bring nothing home. What happens at work stays at work, and it's all forgotten when that clock strikes 3:30 PM. I really want h to be like this. Any tips? Honestly, I just keep telling myself that it just isn't that serious. It's not worth the stress outside of work. When I am within these walls during my 8 hour shift, then yes, I will care and deal with things as I need to, but I just can't dwell on it when I leave. But like CestLaVie , H's job is an around the clock kind of gig if he has men on the job, so it's a little harder for him to turn it off when it keeps coming to him when he is home.
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Peekaru
Sapphire
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Post by Peekaru on Aug 10, 2017 11:33:33 GMT -6
I have such a hard time leaving it too because it's an ongoing transmission line construction project and I am on call 24/7. So my issue is if something comes up - like today at the gym - I want to deal with it and give no fucks also because it makes it hard to have a good time. It's like it will suck the air out of whatever I'm doing. It's always some crisis - like oil spill etc and people are worked up and looking to lay blame. I just need to learn how to read something and not have it affect me emotionally lol. Go to the gym, put your phone on airplane mode with wifi and RELAX
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aydee
Gold
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 11:57:35 GMT -6
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Post by aydee on Aug 10, 2017 11:57:35 GMT -6
jedi- leave the kids for another day. Tell DS1 he's staying there and even if he were home, you wouldn't be going to the mom's club thing. You need a freaking break dude and it's okay to leave them there. +1 to this jedi. You're only human. It's okay to miss the mom's club event. You have a lot on your plate and you need your sanity intact. I'm so sorry about the insurance bullshit. It sucks to be told no. Take your frustrations out at the gym and do something nice for yourself this afternoon. You deserve it!
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 12:09:29 GMT -6
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Post by 45thparallel on Aug 10, 2017 12:09:29 GMT -6
You guise, I blinked and have a pre-schooler. POOF I saw the pics on Insta. She looks so grown up, even in just the past year of pics you post.
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Post by booarogue on Aug 10, 2017 12:38:29 GMT -6
W is definitely sick. He sounds so congested. I'm going to see if I can use the nose sucker on him. He cried his entire nap. Half the time it as in his sleep. Hope tonight goes better
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Post by librarylady on Aug 10, 2017 13:10:30 GMT -6
We haven't gone anywhere today, other than a walk, and it has been nice. I haven't even showered yet. But I'm getting stuff done like a boss. Signed up for infant CPR class (always could do with a refresher) and a hospital tour, ordered undies for A and filled out her paperwork for preschool. Plus the usual picking up, cleaning kitchen, sweeping, laundry extravaganza that is my life. Hope everyone is having a good Thursday!
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Post by librarylady on Aug 10, 2017 13:14:12 GMT -6
CestLaVie, I second armpants, advice to fake it. I know this is totally different, but as a teacher my kids would have eaten me alive if they knew that they flustered me. I have also been in some intense parent teacher conferences. My trick was to act like the opposite of whatever I was feeling on the inside. The more stressed I got, the more nonchalant I acted. Not only does it have a positive impact on the person you are dealing with, but it literally makes you feel calmer.
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Post by CestLaVie on Aug 10, 2017 13:16:59 GMT -6
librarylady that pretty much sounds like exactly what I'm dealing with. Instead of angry parents it's angry baby men lol. And I'm getting very flustered, but I agree with fake it til you make it!
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Post by librarylady on Aug 10, 2017 13:20:07 GMT -6
CestLaVie,I heard this once on a podcast: our actions affect our feelings way more than our feelings affect our actions. Or something like that. It makes sense.
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Post by fierymama on Aug 10, 2017 13:22:55 GMT -6
Did the PW change for our secret board?
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 13:31:46 GMT -6
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Post by Betweenthelines on Aug 10, 2017 13:31:46 GMT -6
Did the PW change for our secret board? Nope. Still the same
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Post by fierymama on Aug 10, 2017 13:45:48 GMT -6
Did the PW change for our secret board? Nope. Still the same Thanks. I forgot the end of it!
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Thursday!!
Aug 10, 2017 14:12:23 GMT -6
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Post by Betweenthelines on Aug 10, 2017 14:12:23 GMT -6
My brothers Snapchat is killing me. His best friends birthday is today and my brothers is tomorrow. So my brother surprised his buddy with a little trip out east.... to go skydiving. His friend is shitting a brick and my brother has the biggest shit-eating grin on in all his snaps.
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