Help Me Manage 2 Weeks Solo

[tj]

Mh leaves today for 2 weeks. Don’t worry, I have security cameras, guard dogs, lots of security measures, and trigger happy neighbors.

But this is my first time solo-parenting 2 school-age kids while also working full time. And managing all the farm stuff. Plus the 20 baby chicks mh ordered to come in while he’s gone. Plus working extra hours in the actual office Bc of an audit.

I already struggle with getting the kids out the door and to school on my own every day due to constant meltdowns over clothes or food or a special thing they “forgot” was happening that day. So I’m always late to work. But now I also have to leave early Bc the kids have to be picked up from after care by 5:30, and it’s a 45 minute drive from work.

We also didn’t bother to grocery shop over the weekend Bc why on earth would we set me up for success? That would be silly.

So send me all the tips please. How can I get the kids out the door in a more streamlined timely manner? How can I make healthy meals that the kids will eat and that I can eat, in only 30 minutes, and not have P sit at the table picking and whining for an hour? How can I get 40 hours of work done when I’m arriving late and leaving early 3 days a week? And wtf can I do with 20 chicks? How can I keep myself from agonizing over every failure these 2 weeks and just be happy that I keep everyone - or at least everyone human - alive?

[pbandj714]

Will they sleep in their school clothes? One less thing to deal with in the mornings.

Breakfast for dinner at least once. That's one of our go to's on chaotic nights.

Would the girls be able to be in charge of the new chicks once they're set up in their shelter?

If grocery delivery is an option, definitely do that.

I know it will be hard. All the good vibes coming your way.

[tj]

Nov 8, 2021 13:25:45 GMT -6 pbandj714 said:

Will they sleep in their school clothes? One less thing to deal with in the mornings.

Breakfast for dinner at least once. That's one of our go to's on chaotic nights.

Would the girls be able to be in charge of the new chicks once they're set up in their shelter?

If grocery delivery is an option, definitely do that.

I know it will be hard. All the good vibes coming your way.

I doubt they would sleep in school clothes. P usually changes clothes at least 4 times before school every morning 🙄. I am sure the girls would love to be in charge of the chicks. But I will be at least having to check their work - I tell them to see if the big chickens have food. If there is one piece of food (for 16 chickens) they say yep, not empty. And no, nothing delivers to our house. Except Amazon. Does cereal and yogurt count as BFD? Lol.

Thanks pbj. I know we will manage. I just hate that feeling of barely getting by, and feeling so anxious and overwhelmed all the time.

[mapleme]

Prep as much as you can the day before. Put things in the car, have shoes and jackets by the door. Pre-prep breakfast. Have lunches already made in the fridge. Braiding M's hair the night before makes a huge difference in how long it takes to brush in the morning, but YMMV on that. Check with them the day before about anything that needs to happen the next day and prep that.

Make the girls your teammates in getting through the day. When I'm solo I'll always run through our task list on the car ride home and ask where they can help out. Sometimes they won't do any of it, but it at least puts them in the right frame of mind to not get in my way when I have a pile of tasks to complete. Usually I can at least get the kids to empty their backpacks, sometimes they'll set the table and make their drinks.

Can you give up on the idea of getting 40 hours of work done in less than 40 hours? It's 2 weeks, so it's worth punting those extra hours down the road, if you can.

I feed the kids food that they like when I'm solo. Sometimes we have overlap and all enjoy a meal together, but I just can't bring myself to fight with them over food when it's just me and them.

Definitely get grocery delivery, if you can. Or lots of take out for the rest of the week.

[mapleme]

Oh yes, I've totally let the kids have cereal for dinner when solo. They are so excited about it.

[milano]

First, you just need to get through this with everyone alive. And honestly, not even that because chicks are fragile. Focus on the kids. Feed them whatever you can get into them and do not trouble yourself to worry about perfectly balanced meals. Yes, cereal for dinner is fine. Have a talk with your kids and explain that the next 2 weeks are going to be a lot for you, so anything they can do (or not do) to help would be appreciated. Expect each day to be a shitshow so that when it is not, you can high five yourself for crushing your expectations. Try to let the housework go as much as you can (I know this isn't easy for you so maybe find the minimum you can tolerate).

[sarenu]

Prep everything ahead.

Easy meals (salad, soup, breakfast, yogurt). Doesn’t matter just get them to eat a somewhat balanced meal that involves no prep when you get home other than warming it up.

Are you a morning or night person? Put in work at night for an hour or get up before the girls and work then. Just do an hour don’t push yourself. You need some you time. And if you can’t, prioritize your work. Get done what needs to be done.

Have your outfits work meals/ drinks ready the night before. Clothes ready in the bathroom so you don’t even need to think about it.

Food, arrange for pick up orders on the weekend and get some take out for when you are prepping food for the week.

[mintyblueair]

I'd let go the idea of having a balanced/"healthy" meal every night. Do some easy things like cereal, scrambled eggs and toast, spaghetti, mac and cheese, order pizza one night, etc. Put carrot sticks or fruit on the side. On the weekend prep a big pot of chili, stew, soup, etc. and eat it for leftovers a couple of times.

Have the girls pick out their clothes the night before.

[mintyblueair]

And when you feel overwhelmed just keep telling yourself "it's only for two weeks". You will be able to get meals and housework and whatnot back on track when your H is back.

[tj]

And of course P’s teacher just called that she is sick. Bc of course she is.

[sarenu]

[charlotte]

Do a grocery order delivery ASAP if you can.

Charcuterie board, cereal, takeout, etc for dinner.

I don’t have advice because I’m failing miserably at this right now and am mentally screaming into the void 24/7. But, solidarity.

[rugger]

You will rock this even if you think you aren't. 💪

Def explain to them that you may be extra stressed while Daddy isn't there to help. Ask what they think they can do to be helpful with getting ready or meals or chores.

Can/will they eat school lunches?

Bring a cooler to work and grab some groceries on a lunch break.

We do Greek yogurt and jam (or granola) as an easy breakfast option a lot of days. Or maybe prepackaged oatmeal if they like those?

But also, throw some Cheerios at them and walk away because it's ok to just survive for this time period.

[tj]

Nov 8, 2021 16:02:29 GMT -6 tj said:

And of course P’s teacher just called that she is sick. Bc of course she is.

And E might have broken her finger. This morning. And I wasn’t called. If it’s still this bad tomorrow, perhaps I’ll have them both in urgent care. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[rugger]

Nov 8, 2021 20:44:28 GMT -6 tj said:

Nov 8, 2021 16:02:29 GMT -6 tj said:

And of course P’s teacher just called that she is sick. Bc of course she is.

And E might have broken her finger. This morning. And I wasn’t called. If it’s still this bad tomorrow, perhaps I’ll have them both in urgent care. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh, sweet Jesus.

[rhymeswithdisco]

How is everyone doing today tj?

And to answer how to manage alone...I disappoint everyone. All the time.

[tj]

Nov 9, 2021 11:08:07 GMT -6 rhymeswithdisco said:

How is everyone doing today tj?

And to answer how to manage alone...I disappoint everyone. All the time.

I bet you don’t really. I know it’s easy to feel that way. But I also know that when your kids are older (especially the girls,) they will respect you so much for how hard you worked for them.

[tj]

P woke up feeling a lot better. So maybe it was just her allergies combined with over-tired from the time change. Or maybe I’ll get called again today. But either way she never had a fever and she felt better today, so she’s at school.

E’s finger is still swollen and painful. But I don’t think it’s broken. I went ahead and gave her some ibuprofen last night and this morning as well as splinting it to the next finger. I’ll keep keeping an eye on it.

Thanks for checking on us. Today is a better day so far. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

[mintyblueair]

I'm glad today is a better day!

[rhymeswithdisco]

Nov 9, 2021 11:14:13 GMT -6 tj said:

Nov 9, 2021 11:08:07 GMT -6 rhymeswithdisco said:

How is everyone doing today tj ?

And to answer how to manage alone...I disappoint everyone. All the time.

I bet you don’t really. I know it’s easy to feel that way. But I also know that when your kids are older (especially the girls,) they will respect you so much for how hard you worked for them.

I have just come to terms with the fact that I cannot do everything. And people aren't going to be happy with the choices I make. But I'm doing my best and that is all I can do. 

And teej, that made me tear up. You're the best. 

[rugger]

How ya holding up, tj??

[tj]

Nov 11, 2021 19:24:05 GMT -6 rugger said:

How ya holding up, tj??

I’m hanging in there. I’m tired of cooking and tired of dishes and tired of the girls fighting and honestly just tired. We are surviving. My mind is thinking about driving up for the weekend, so I’m majorly 🤞🏻🤞🏻 for that.

Thanks for checking in on me. 💜 Weekends are so hard, so I’m nervous about keeping the girls busy but also getting some rest and relaxation myself.

[rugger]

Nov 11, 2021 21:10:24 GMT -6 tj said:

Nov 11, 2021 19:24:05 GMT -6 rugger said:

How ya holding up, tj??

I’m hanging in there. I’m tired of cooking and tired of dishes and tired of the girls fighting and honestly just tired. We are surviving. My mind is thinking about driving up for the weekend, so I’m majorly 🤞🏻🤞🏻 for that.

Thanks for checking in on me. 💜 Weekends are so hard, so I’m nervous about keeping the girls busy but also getting some rest and relaxation myself.

Are you driving up to be with YH for the weekend?

Give yourself a high five and a hard seltzer for making it through the week. You deserve to sleep in and take couch naps while the girls entertain themselves. Or watch TV. Either option is good 😉

[tj]

Nov 11, 2021 22:02:00 GMT -6 rugger said:

Nov 11, 2021 21:10:24 GMT -6 tj said:

I’m hanging in there. I’m tired of cooking and tired of dishes and tired of the girls fighting and honestly just tired. We are surviving. My mind is thinking about driving up for the weekend, so I’m majorly 🤞🏻🤞🏻 for that.

Thanks for checking in on me. 💜 Weekends are so hard, so I’m nervous about keeping the girls busy but also getting some rest and relaxation myself.

Are you driving up to be with YH for the weekend?

Give yourself a high five and a hard seltzer for making it through the week. You deserve to sleep in and take couch naps while the girls entertain themselves. Or watch TV. Either option is good 😉

MOM. My MOM is thinking about driving up.

[rugger]

Nov 12, 2021 8:46:57 GMT -6 tj said:

Nov 11, 2021 22:02:00 GMT -6 rugger said:

Are you driving up to be with YH for the weekend?

Give yourself a high five and a hard seltzer for making it through the week. You deserve to sleep in and take couch naps while the girls entertain themselves. Or watch TV. Either option is good 😉

MOM. My MOM is thinking about driving up.

Pulled a me, huh? LOL
Well, I hope your mom is able to come help you out 🤞

[tj]

Nov 12, 2021 13:30:18 GMT -6 rugger said:

Nov 12, 2021 8:46:57 GMT -6 tj said:

MOM. My MOM is thinking about driving up.

Pulled a me, huh? LOL
Well, I hope your mom is able to come help you out 🤞

Wellllllll, now I’m at the pediatrician with P, who still doesn’t feel well. Oh and apparently sees things. I’m panicking.

[DGM]

tj, 🙏

[charlotte]

tj I hope next week will be easier!! Sending you virtual wine.

[tj]

So. Here’s my update. We are all still alive. Even all 20 chicks. But everything sucks.

P has been complaining the entire time that her throat and her stomach hurt. Went to ped, covid and strep and flu neg. Called back they said to give it a few more days. She’s still complaining.

Discovered a bunny had malocclusion (teeth don’t line up right so top teeth were overgrown and curled up into the roof of her mouth.) Thought she was going to need surgery, scheduled for yesterday. Miraculously we had caught it soon enough that they were able to buzz them down while she was awake. But this will be a lifelong issue for her.

Girls closed the office door yesterday on accident, which is where the litter box is so the cat pooped on every rug in the house. Who knows where she peed. I’m sure we will smell it eventually.

And shyla has the shits again. She pooped all over the laundry room yesterday while I was at work. Cleaned all that up, but woke up to another shitshow this morning. Fml.

I haven’t spoken to mh in 3 days. He has informed me that he will be coming home, picking up the kids, and leaving again tomorrow to go hunt, then off to his parents for thanksgiving. Which again leaves me here stuck with the shitty dogs, the needy and now-stinky chicks, and all alone on my birthday for the second year in a row. I am so resentful about this and I don’t know how to move forward Bc I am sick of being the martyr and just turning the other cheek and getting shit on.

[charlotte]

Oh wtf tj. It’s not fair.

First of all, you’re handling all the chaos this last 2 weeks like a champ. Anyone would be cracking a bit from all of that literal shit. I know I would’ve been in tears at least once.

Secondly, I want to throat punch YH. If we were closer I’d love to have a snack & wine night on the couch for your birthday. Like, that’s thoughtless AF Mr TJ.

I would love if you would let me send you a little birthday treat. Truly.