joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
Posts: 4,686 Likes: 33,805
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Post by joelies on Nov 4, 2021 16:58:46 GMT -6
Hi guys. I didn't want to post since I have been MIA more often than not, but I am annoyed and need to vent. My Dad passed today, which honestly at this point was a relief. He was in a lot of pain and no longer himself. But now I can't even go see my Mom because my sister will be there and is now making comments about how it's time for us to "act like adults and hash things out". Except that it's been years now and she has never apologized to me, and she cut my brother off preemptively because she was sure he'd be angry at her. So she gets to play the part of the bigger person and we have to be the jerks insisting that we wait. I know it's the right move but I felt awful saying no to my Mom now of all times. But it would have turned into WW3. Even if I could have bit my tongue, my brother absolutely could not.
Fun.
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inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,383 Likes: 68,810
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Post by inthekitty on Nov 4, 2021 17:08:19 GMT -6
Oh fuck joelies. I'm so sorry. I'm glad your dad is no longer in pain, but sorry you can't even get peace from it because your sister is being a narcissistic jerk. It's so unbelievably self-centered of her to turn it into time for everyone to make nice with her. I'm sorry for the sadness and frustration you must be feeling. Hugs.
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joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
Posts: 4,686 Likes: 33,805
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Post by joelies on Nov 4, 2021 17:17:09 GMT -6
Thanks inthekitty, I think I needed to hear this from someone outside of my family.
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tallb
Amethyst
Posts: 5,145 Likes: 32,984
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Post by tallb on Nov 4, 2021 17:30:39 GMT -6
I'm so sorry at joelies. I wish your could just be together and your mom. Sending love to you
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jewels
Opal
Posts: 8,244 Likes: 43,738
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Post by jewels on Nov 4, 2021 17:40:39 GMT -6
joelies first - I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you’re relieved he’s not suffering but it’s still hard Second - fuck your sister for doing this to you all now. It’s not about her. And that’s shitty. Third - don’t feel bad about coming in and posting. We’re all here for you. Whenever, however.
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klong11
Emerald
Posts: 14,565 Likes: 84,661
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Post by klong11 on Nov 4, 2021 17:43:06 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss joelies.
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Post by lahdeedah on Nov 4, 2021 17:50:18 GMT -6
So sorry for your loss. joelies sending you hugs and love to your family. The nerve of your sister pulling this crap in a time like this. Unacceptable. Vent away- we’re always here.
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joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
Posts: 4,686 Likes: 33,805
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Post by joelies on Nov 4, 2021 18:19:34 GMT -6
Thanks guys. I have just had such mixed feelings today. On a positive note, I had to have a really tough CTJ talk with a partner today with an audience and I was in super IDGAF mode and handled it like a champ. What a weird day.
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Post by wineallthetime on Nov 4, 2021 18:29:21 GMT -6
joelies first - I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you’re relieved he’s not suffering but it’s still hard Second - fuck your sister for doing this to you all now. It’s not about her. And that’s shitty. Third - don’t feel bad about coming in and posting. We’re all here for you. Whenever, however. All of this. Sending all the love, joelies.
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guster
Emerald
Posts: 11,514 Likes: 67,062
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Post by guster on Nov 4, 2021 19:16:26 GMT -6
Sending you lots of love, joelies. I'm really sorry for your loss.
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lfig
Sapphire
Posts: 4,355 Likes: 33,636
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Post by lfig on Nov 4, 2021 20:06:30 GMT -6
Much love to you joelies. I’m sorry that your sister is complicating things.
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mwhip
Opal
Posts: 8,740 Likes: 55,082
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Post by mwhip on Nov 4, 2021 20:37:22 GMT -6
joelies so sorry about your loss. It's awful your sister picks this as the time to look like this...you still need your time to grieve so make sure and stand up for yourself.
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chrisy01
Emerald
Posts: 10,831 Likes: 51,456
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Post by chrisy01 on Nov 4, 2021 21:01:41 GMT -6
joelies first - I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you’re relieved he’s not suffering but it’s still hard Second - fuck your sister for doing this to you all now. It’s not about her. And that’s shitty. Third - don’t feel bad about coming in and posting. We’re all here for you. Whenever, however. All of this. Sending all the love, joelies. I third this joeliesIf she tries to do anything to make things worse I’m happy to put her in her place to keep WWIII from happening. I’m fine being the bad guy.
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slenle
Sapphire
Posts: 3,181 Likes: 26,368
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Post by slenle on Nov 5, 2021 6:48:36 GMT -6
joelies, I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry your sister is trying to do this now and don’t blame you for saying no.
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nam2013
Emerald
Posts: 13,404 Likes: 67,935
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Post by nam2013 on Nov 5, 2021 7:11:07 GMT -6
joelies I’m so sorry about your loss. I’m also so sorry this is bringing up the family dynamics. I’m sorry your sister is abusing an already terrible situation… Also we’re here for you anytime 😘.
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tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,548 Likes: 137,892
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Post by tgrimes on Nov 5, 2021 8:47:28 GMT -6
joelies I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad he's not in pain anymore but it's still hard to lose someone. I'm not shocked about the way your sister is acting. You're doing the right thing.
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wedding
Emerald
Posts: 14,204 Likes: 77,075
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Post by wedding on Nov 5, 2021 9:20:08 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss joelies. I’m so angry at your sister on your behalf, yet not surprised based on her history. Is she still with that guy? I hate this all for you.
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Post by peachsmama on Nov 5, 2021 9:21:55 GMT -6
Just catching up on this thread. I'm so sorry for your loss joelies and your sisters behavior.
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joelies
Sapphire
You must chill
Posts: 4,686 Likes: 33,805
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Post by joelies on Nov 5, 2021 9:32:11 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss joelies. I’m so angry at your sister on your behalf, yet not surprised based on her history. Is she still with that guy? I hate this all for you. I think he got violent with her and she left him. Which is odd, because I remember her insisting that he wasn't a danger to anyone, including my kids.
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
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Post by trtlcrzy on Nov 6, 2021 6:20:49 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for your loss joelies. I hope you’re able to go spend time with your mom sans sister. Do you think she’ll stay down in FL or move back closer to you guys now?
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