Cher
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BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Aug 1, 2021 21:13:43 GMT -6
MH and I both did the commute (at different times). I took the train and wished I could drive, but I didn’t have a car. MH bought a car because he refused to take the train. It was like after taking a subway, walking in crowds of people, we both felt like it was more desirable to be alone in a car with your own space. Even now if I go into the city, I will take driving over the train every single time. I don’t like being tied to a schedule and I don’t mind driving (even in NY traffic/weather). But that me be a me/regional thing. I also always prefer to drive. There are dozens of us! Either way, I hope one job gives you an amazing offer and makes your decision a no-brainer.
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Post by goobies on Aug 1, 2021 21:14:42 GMT -6
I think there’s a big difference between an hour commute driving the whole time vs an hour commute by transit. I have always had a 45 minute commute - that’s how far we live from downtown and every job DH and I have had and are likely to ever have will be downtown in my city. I like transit- I zone out, listen to a podcast, etc. I wouldn’t feel the same about highway driving for the same amount of time.
I would want to work evenings or weekends only if it was “scheduled”. If it’s just being available to work at all hours? No thank you.
ETA - apparently I missed the posts about train vs driving!
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joy
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Post by joy on Aug 2, 2021 5:21:46 GMT -6
When I had a kid and no back up childcare pick up, my hour commute was the least restful thing I ever did. Add in traffic or a broken train and my stress level was sky high.
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Post by mintyblueair on Aug 2, 2021 6:50:32 GMT -6
I would definitely choose the job that's closer to you. I would hate an hour+ of driving, and you said the closer job is a good fit in terms of career goals.
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Post by McBenny on Aug 2, 2021 7:12:05 GMT -6
I do an hour commute now. It's not grueling for me cause for the most part it's constant driving and not stop and go. Without traffic it's a 38 min drive at best. So traffic adds the difference. In this area there is a billion different ways to get where you need to.
Getting off at 4 or 5 is and home at 6 at the latest is early to me. I also like a regular schedule. I don't like it changing week to week. For me, that's key. I don't want to work late nights or weekends.
If you're cool with it and it's no biggie to you then that's what matters. No one knows or can pick for you.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,690
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Post by McBenny on Aug 2, 2021 7:13:07 GMT -6
The trains here run on time like 95% of the time.
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Post by SweetPotato on Aug 2, 2021 7:29:27 GMT -6
I do an hour commute now. It's not grueling for me cause for the most part it's constant driving and not stop and go. Without traffic it's a 38 min drive at best. So traffic adds the difference. In this area there is a billion different ways to get where you need to. Getting off at 4 or 5 is and home at 6 at the latest is early to me. I also like a regular schedule. I don't like it changing week to week. For me, that's key. I don't want to work late nights or weekends. If your cool with it and it's no biggie to you then that's what matters. No one knows or can pick for you. I agree whether it’s traffic or not makes a huge difference in the frustration level
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 7:46:16 GMT -6
I would definitely choose the job that's closer to you. I would hate an hour+ of driving, and you said the closer job is a good fit in terms of career goals. The further away job is actually the job I would want after I have the experience of the closer to home job. It's a leap for me experience wise. I honestly can't believe I'm still in the running 😂😂😂
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Post by mintyblueair on Aug 2, 2021 9:08:39 GMT -6
I would definitely choose the job that's closer to you. I would hate an hour+ of driving, and you said the closer job is a good fit in terms of career goals. The further away job is actually the job I would want after I have the experience of the closer to home job. It's a leap for me experience wise. I honestly can't believe I'm still in the running 😂😂😂 Ohhh. Well that changes things! I'd choose that job and suck up the commute if it's the one you ultimately want. Good luck!!
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Post by GhoatMonket on Aug 2, 2021 9:16:22 GMT -6
When I had a kid and no back up childcare pick up, my hour commute was the least restful thing I ever did. Add in traffic or a broken train and my stress level was sky high. Yeah when H was deployed or just out of town temporarily, it was a major issue. If DS got sick, I pretty much had to drop what I was doing immediately because I had to have him picked up within an hour. If there was a major accident or bad weather, I was risking not getting there before they closed (I slid into the parking lot 5 minutes before closing one day). I fortunately had a boss that was a single parent that was also almost an hour from home, and he was happy to let me leave early if it looked like the weather was going to get iffy. But yes, it was very stressful. I had to leave on time. I couldn't have a meeting go long. I couldn't stay to finish up anything. At that time, remote work options were sketchy as best. So if that is a thing, factor that in as well.
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Post by fosterlove on Aug 2, 2021 9:50:17 GMT -6
I used to have an hour commute and enjoyed the decompression time. That being said, it was before children, but to move up in my profession, it is likely that I would be doing an hour one way in my future.
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Post by calendula on Aug 2, 2021 10:01:16 GMT -6
When I had a kid and no back up childcare pick up, my hour commute was the least restful thing I ever did. Add in traffic or a broken train and my stress level was sky high. Yeah when H was deployed or just out of town temporarily, it was a major issue. If DS got sick, I pretty much had to drop what I was doing immediately because I had to have him picked up within an hour. If there was a major accident or bad weather, I was risking not getting there before they closed (I slid into the parking lot 5 minutes before closing one day). I fortunately had a boss that was a single parent that was also almost an hour from home, and he was happy to let me leave early if it looked like the weather was going to get iffy. But yes, it was very stressful. I had to leave on time. I couldn't have a meeting go long. I couldn't stay to finish up anything. At that time, remote work options were sketchy as best. So if that is a thing, factor that in as well. This was my life for a long time because I couldn't rely on XH for contingency childcare issues. It was insanely stressful. I adjusted my career to take the "work closer to home for less pay" job, and my stress levels improved considerably. That said, they did not fix my husband problem, which I think was the real issue tbh. Obviously (hopefully) that doesn't apply to sweptaway but its definitely a conversation worth having with YH if you opt for the commuting job. Walk through potential scenarios that will inevitably come up (sick days, kid barfs at school and needs pick up ASAP, who attends parent teacher conferences that are only 15 min long but would require an hour drive back and forth, school shuts down due to inclement weather, etc) and see that you have coverage between the two of you. I'd honestly need a lot of convincing before I ever commute an hour again. That's two hours a day that you aren't getting paid for and aren't spending on yourself (exercise, sleep, social) or your family (homework help, meal prep, ballgames, playing). It adds up.
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 10:14:44 GMT -6
I think the nights and weekends things to me feels like I'm picking time for myself (nights and weekends gives me alone time during the day) vs family time (longer commute means more time on the road but more reliable family time)..I know that's a flase dichotomy and I'm doing the nights and weekend thing now anyway.
Anyway it's nice to hear from people who have done both before. As I said I don't have an offer at this time but it's something I'll have to consider if either comes through.
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Post by calendula on Aug 2, 2021 10:22:37 GMT -6
I think the nights and weekends things to me feels like I'm picking time for myself (nights and weekends gives me alone time during the day) vs family time (longer commute means more time on the road but more reliable family time)..I know that's a flase dichotomy and I'm doing the nights and weekend thing now anyway. Anyway it's nice to hear from people who have done both before. As I said I don't have an offer at this time but it's something I'll have to consider if either comes through. Alone time during the day, though. What are you really doing during that time? I had a job once where I worked late on Tuesday nights and got out at 1 on Fridays. That was when I grocery shopped, ran errands, picked up the house, went to dr appointments, therapy, etc. It allowed me to have more family time when we were actually all together. Besides, I operate now under the mindset that "time for me" is non negotiable due to self care and mental health, so it all needs to get fit in somewhere, just a matter of picking the best times based on the family's schedules. No right or wrong answer obviously, just playing devils advocate.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,727 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Aug 2, 2021 12:51:58 GMT -6
I had the 1 hour commute for a number of years and now that I have the 10 minute commute, I can never go back. I know missing out on family time is hard, but I look at it that you are losing 10+ hours a week with that commute.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,727 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Aug 2, 2021 12:53:44 GMT -6
Is the pay similar? If not this will sway my opinion. The ranges for both are about the same but actual offers could vary as much as $20k based on ranges. Oh I would take the extra $20K if possible.
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 13:07:41 GMT -6
The ranges for both are about the same but actual offers could vary as much as $20k based on ranges. Oh I would take the extra $20K if possible. Yeah obviously if I get two offers that vary widely that would sway me. I'm not sure I see that happening. Also how much $$ will get eaten by gas, tolls, and car maintenance?
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 13:08:41 GMT -6
I think the nights and weekends things to me feels like I'm picking time for myself (nights and weekends gives me alone time during the day) vs family time (longer commute means more time on the road but more reliable family time)..I know that's a flase dichotomy and I'm doing the nights and weekend thing now anyway. Anyway it's nice to hear from people who have done both before. As I said I don't have an offer at this time but it's something I'll have to consider if either comes through. Alone time during the day, though. What are you really doing during that time? I had a job once where I worked late on Tuesday nights and got out at 1 on Fridays. That was when I grocery shopped, ran errands, picked up the house, went to dr appointments, therapy, etc. It allowed me to have more family time when we were actually all together. Besides, I operate now under the mindset that "time for me" is non negotiable due to self care and mental health, so it all needs to get fit in somewhere, just a matter of picking the best times based on the family's schedules. No right or wrong answer obviously, just playing devils advocate. That's a good point, I definitely spend some of that time running errands etc but.... not all of it 😂😂😂😂
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Aug 2, 2021 13:10:16 GMT -6
Oh I would take the extra $20K if possible. Yeah obviously if I get two offers that vary widely that would sway me. I'm not sure I see that happening. Also how much $$ will get eaten by gas, tolls, and car maintenance? Don't look at salary this way, though. $20k more in base salary is forever. You've upped your starting pay at any and all future jobs and promotions. Assuming the 1hr commute job pays more and is a better step for your career, download some podcasts and get to commuting!
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Aug 2, 2021 13:20:02 GMT -6
sweptaway, are you in libraries? Now I'm curious as to what the jobs are.
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 14:28:26 GMT -6
sweptaway, are you in libraries? Now I'm curious as to what the jobs are. Yes. I poofed cause I was getting spooked. You can PM me if you're curious!
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,727 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Aug 2, 2021 14:58:38 GMT -6
sweptaway, are you in libraries? Now I'm curious as to what the jobs are. Yes. I poofed cause I was getting spooked. You can PM me if you're curious! Lol. Sorry, I got caught up at work.
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thatgolfb
Unicorn
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Post by thatgolfb on Aug 2, 2021 15:26:43 GMT -6
I think the nights and weekends things to me feels like I'm picking time for myself (nights and weekends gives me alone time during the day) vs family time (longer commute means more time on the road but more reliable family time)..I know that's a flase dichotomy and I'm doing the nights and weekend thing now anyway. Anyway it's nice to hear from people who have done both before. As I said I don't have an offer at this time but it's something I'll have to consider if either comes through. Alone time during the day, though. What are you really doing during that time? I had a job once where I worked late on Tuesday nights and got out at 1 on Fridays. That was when I grocery shopped, ran errands, picked up the house, went to dr appointments, therapy, etc. It allowed me to have more family time when we were actually all together. Besides, I operate now under the mindset that "time for me" is non negotiable due to self care and mental health, so it all needs to get fit in somewhere, just a matter of picking the best times based on the family's schedules. No right or wrong answer obviously, just playing devils advocate. This for me as well! The Mondays I have off, I use to do things I can’t do during my regular work shifts. Longer workouts, mani/pedi and other self care, car maintenance appts, etc. when I work 5-1:30, I work out when I get home, shower and give myself a blowout before picking up the kids, grocery shop, other things I don’t want to do with kids in tow. Then when I am with the kids, so things are off my to do list. If I had mornings off, I could also drop them off at school/day care, which is something my current schedule almost never allows.
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thatgolfb
Unicorn
Posts: 55,023 Likes: 234,913
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Post by thatgolfb on Aug 2, 2021 15:26:43 GMT -6
I think the nights and weekends things to me feels like I'm picking time for myself (nights and weekends gives me alone time during the day) vs family time (longer commute means more time on the road but more reliable family time)..I know that's a flase dichotomy and I'm doing the nights and weekend thing now anyway. Anyway it's nice to hear from people who have done both before. As I said I don't have an offer at this time but it's something I'll have to consider if either comes through. Alone time during the day, though. What are you really doing during that time? I had a job once where I worked late on Tuesday nights and got out at 1 on Fridays. That was when I grocery shopped, ran errands, picked up the house, went to dr appointments, therapy, etc. It allowed me to have more family time when we were actually all together. Besides, I operate now under the mindset that "time for me" is non negotiable due to self care and mental health, so it all needs to get fit in somewhere, just a matter of picking the best times based on the family's schedules. No right or wrong answer obviously, just playing devils advocate. This for me as well! The Mondays I have off, I use to do things I can’t do during my regular work shifts. Longer workouts, mani/pedi and other self care, car maintenance appts, etc. when I work 5-1:30, I work out when I get home, shower and give myself a blowout before picking up the kids, grocery shop, other things I don’t want to do with kids in tow. Then when I am with the kids, so things are off my to do list. If I had mornings off, I could also drop them off at school/day care, which is something my current schedule almost never allows.
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Aug 2, 2021 15:37:40 GMT -6
Do you go in late when you stay until 8? Do you trade a weekday for a Saturday?
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 15:56:43 GMT -6
Do you go in late when you stay until 8? Do you trade a weekday for a Saturday? Yes to both. 12-8 or 1-9 and I am off Fridays when I work Saturday.
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Aug 2, 2021 20:12:16 GMT -6
Do you go in late when you stay until 8? Do you trade a weekday for a Saturday? Yes to both. 12-8 or 1-9 and I am off Fridays when I work Saturday. I’d do it but I work every Sunday forever and ever (16 years) and don’t know what it’s like not to have a weekday off. Especially if you can be home alone, to me, that is worth the day you miss. But I’m an introvert, so YMMV.
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Aug 2, 2021 20:12:42 GMT -6
And imagine going on a nice little hike then showering before work those 12-8 days.
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Post by sweptaway on Aug 2, 2021 20:37:31 GMT -6
And imagine going on a nice little hike then showering before work those 12-8 days. I often do that now! Or I did before my kid was home 24/7 haha. One day....
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Post by crazycatlady6 on Aug 2, 2021 22:19:17 GMT -6
DH has an hour+ commute each way that will be resuming next month…the pandemic made us realize that he is missing too much time away from DS and we are moving closer to his job next spring. We were holding out hope for a transfer to a branch closer to us but that branch closed a few months ago.
I live in the same general area as you and the interstate and other major roadways are no joke. You really do have to give that some serious thought, especially on days where you will be driving home during rush.
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