jess213
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 3:42:06 GMT -6
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Post by jess213 on Jul 17, 2017 3:42:06 GMT -6
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jess213
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Posts: 756 Likes: 1,938
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 3:44:27 GMT -6
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Post by jess213 on Jul 17, 2017 3:44:27 GMT -6
We had a great weekend but I'm still so tired, it feels like I didn't even sleep! Gah. Coffee plz.
Heading out for a walk to try to wake up a bit, then I'm taking the kids to Mother Goose on the Loose at the library. We may head to a nearby park after that; should be a fun day!
Edited because I can't spell.
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armpants
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 4:26:07 GMT -6
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Post by armpants on Jul 17, 2017 4:26:07 GMT -6
Yesterday was good, but so tiring! I was mad at the alarm.
I hope everyone has a good day!
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 4:58:28 GMT -6
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Post by Betweenthelines on Jul 17, 2017 4:58:28 GMT -6
Hope everyone had a good weekend, and hoping any sick littles are feeling better today! My next 2 weekends are going to be a blur and I'm kind of/kind of not looking forward to it. SILs bridal shower is next weekend and then the kids birthday party is the following weekend, plus ds's birthday on the 24th. Not enough time in the days.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Jul 17, 2017 5:22:13 GMT -6
J slept at my parents' so I slept great! I got up and ran 4 miles and now I'm getting ready for work. I'm hoping this week marks a turnaround in my life. I need my happy life back.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Jul 17, 2017 5:23:55 GMT -6
Also, can we laugh at J talking to the firefighters at daycare last week? PDQ
SNIP
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Jul 17, 2017 5:24:16 GMT -6
It's like he's telling him who's in charge. 😂
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Post by coconutbacon on Jul 17, 2017 5:35:53 GMT -6
Good morning— I've missed everyone! I am through the busiest part of my work summer so I should be able to be on here. I hope everyone's doing well!
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Post by taketheshot on Jul 17, 2017 5:38:27 GMT -6
I'm in a funk. I'm just going to dump it here and hopefully start my week out on a better foot.
So H was home the last 3 days. We had no plans for the first time in months which was wonderful. I couldn't help but notice though that he did absolutely nothing around the house to assist in the care of A. He didn't change a single diaper, he didn't prepare or facilitate a single meal, he didn't even play with her without there being some kind of screen time involved. I am typically the one who does everything, which whatever, it's fine, I can do it, but I shouldn't HAVE to be the only one in charge of her care on the days he is home. He can sit with her for a meal or change a God damn diaper.
Every night when A goes to bed, we sit down and ask each other if there is anything we want to talk about, so last night I said yes! And told him how I was feeling. And I Let. It. Out. I never yelled but I also did not hold back a single word or feeling and I was proud of myself. When I was done he said "so what you're saying is that you need my help?" and I said "No. I don't NEED your help. I can do it and I DO do it all the time, But it would be nice to have your help. You should be caring for your daughter and her well being too." and he really didn't say anything else for the rest of the night.
This morning he is acting weird and stand off-ish and literally could not leave for work any earlier. He practically ran out of the house when I got back from the gym. So as we said goodbye I asked him why he was acting weird and he said he wasn't and got in his truck. Major Eye Roll. Like this is why I don't bring up any real issues I have. He gets so effing defensive and I can't stand his attitude afterward.
So there's a little peek into the TakeTheShot home.. You get a mimosa for reading all of that.
Happy Monday Y'all.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 5:40:25 GMT -6
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Post by flippinchica on Jul 17, 2017 5:40:25 GMT -6
It's like he's telling him who's in charge. 😂 So cute!
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 5:53:20 GMT -6
Post by librarylady on Jul 17, 2017 5:53:20 GMT -6
taketheshot, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I do not understand your H's behavior (although it is very common). Does he think because you are the woman you do the child rearing? Is it a sexist thing? Or is it because you are the SAH parent? Maybe you guys could talk again tonight and you could ask him how he feels about it, how he would feel if the tables were turned, what he envisions as the perfect set up, etc. Before you had A did he expect your to do all the housework, or have you been equal in that?
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:05:35 GMT -6
Post by RunsforWineandCarbs on Jul 17, 2017 6:05:35 GMT -6
Good morning ladies!
It was hard getting up for work this morning. I have over 200 unread emails, a few voicemails and a ton of work to do. We have a semi annual company meeting on Wednesday, dinner that night and meeting all day Thursday. I need to prep a presentation for Thursday too. All that on top of everything from last week and this week. I feel a little overwhelmed at the moment.
But i do have lime pulled pork in the crockpot for tonight, kind of excited about that.
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Post by taketheshot on Jul 17, 2017 6:06:17 GMT -6
taketheshot, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I do not understand your H's behavior (although it is very common). Does he think because you are the woman you do the child rearing? Is it a sexist thing? Or is it because you are the SAH parent? Maybe you guys could talk again tonight and you could ask him how he feels about it, how he would feel if the tables were turned, what he envisions as the perfect set up, etc. Before you had A did he expect your to do all the housework, or have you been equal in that? If I were to guess, it's most likely because I am the SAH parent and caring for her is what I do all day, every day. I fully admitted that I do complete things around the house out of habit (get meals ready, change diapers, pack bags of We are going out) but that doesn't mean he can't do it once in a while. For instance, yesterday morning at breakfast, A was in her high chair at the kitchen table eating breakfast, H walked in, poured a bowl of cereal and ate at a different table with his back to A. Come on, Dude. You can sit at the kitchen table and toss some food on her plate for me. Another example, I took A swimming at my parents house yesterday afternoon, which is an exhausting task but she loves to swim so I did it. He did not come along. He stayed home and worked on his computer. He was going to take care of the dogs then come over for dinner. Alright, fine. Well I just so happened to leave 5 things in the kitchen sink HOPING and ASSUMING he would wash them for me. Nope, came home and everything was still in the sink. I mentioned that to him last night and he knew he should have washed them, he just didn't. So its all just a combination of me already doing everything and trying to make his life easier, but not getting any of the same respect back. Woof. Sorry. Another brain dump. I will probably touch base with him again tonight.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:06:35 GMT -6
Post by RunsforWineandCarbs on Jul 17, 2017 6:06:35 GMT -6
taketheshot, I feel your frustration lady! I am glad you spoke to him about it. I also like librarylady, suggestion of following up with him tonight about how he feels and what he thinks. I hope the day let's him cool off and get a good perspective on things.
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jedi
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Post by jedi on Jul 17, 2017 6:06:50 GMT -6
armpants how's M? Pizzaslut love the photo taketheshot I'm glad you can talk to him. Hopefully he's just feeling grumpy because he knows you're right
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:15:08 GMT -6
Post by RunsforWineandCarbs on Jul 17, 2017 6:15:08 GMT -6
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:15:19 GMT -6
Post by RunsforWineandCarbs on Jul 17, 2017 6:15:19 GMT -6
jedi, did you do a party for E?
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Post by coconutbacon on Jul 17, 2017 6:15:50 GMT -6
Pizzaslut, J is adorable in that pic! Definitely giving the firefighter the low down.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:15:58 GMT -6
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Post by flippinchica on Jul 17, 2017 6:15:58 GMT -6
That is frustrating taketheshot I hope he is just still processing the conversation and will be ready to discuss tonight.
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Post by coconutbacon on Jul 17, 2017 6:19:10 GMT -6
taketheshot, that sounds incredibly frustrating. Maybe your H should spend some time alone in your home with A. Does he do that often? It might give him an appreciation for everything you do, and also help in giving him the wherewithall to help out.
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jedi
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Post by jedi on Jul 17, 2017 6:21:54 GMT -6
It was a nice low key weekend. S1 went back to my inlaws for the next couple of days to finish his swimming class. We were concerned we'd have trouble getting him to go because he told me he didn't want to and was bored there.
E's birthday was fun. We celebrated with my parents sat and inlaws on Sunday.
E and I are checking out a kindermusik class today. Not sure we'll sign up. It's pretty pricey
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jedi
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Post by jedi on Jul 17, 2017 6:23:18 GMT -6
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:30:37 GMT -6
Post by easternshoregirl on Jul 17, 2017 6:30:37 GMT -6
taketheshot, I find myself in that situation sometimes too. The whole "default parent" thing, but your situation is definitely more extreme. My DH loves to play and be involved with E but just won't take the lead on any of the "care" stuff unless I direct him. I find he works well with clear directions....like if I'm getting E dressed to get ready to leave, I will point out each specific thing he can gather to go into our bags. Or specifically tell him, I need your help with dishes. From my perspective, it kind of drives me crazy because no one tells me when the floor needs to be mopped or the sheets need to be changed. I.just.do.it. But it is like he is blind to those things. The delegating thing kind of gets on my nerves because I feel like I shouldn't have to, but then I also think of how often he vacuumed when he lived alone and then....I realize if I say something it will at least get done. Not sure if any of this helps, but you're not alone!
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jedi
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Post by jedi on Jul 17, 2017 6:40:45 GMT -6
Pretty sure this showed up in my fb feed because of all out Potty talk.😂
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:41:09 GMT -6
Post by fierymama on Jul 17, 2017 6:41:09 GMT -6
Morning ladies! What I wouldn't do for a full night sleep with a kid in bed. Ugh. So tired.
Work today. Kids are at daycare (thank goodness, I am beyond touched out right now).
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jedi
Sapphire
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Post by jedi on Jul 17, 2017 6:41:44 GMT -6
taketheshot, I find myself in that situation sometimes too. The whole "default parent" thing, but your situation is definitely more extreme. My DH loves to play and be involved with E but just won't take the lead on any of the "care" stuff unless I direct him. I find he works well with clear directions....like if I'm getting E dressed to get ready to leave, I will point out each specific thing he can gather to go into our bags. Or specifically tell him, I need your help with dishes. From my perspective, it kind of drives me crazy because no one tells me when the floor needs to be mopped or the sheets need to be changed. I.just.do.it. But it is like he is blind to those things. The delegating thing kind of gets on my nerves because I feel like I shouldn't have to, but then I also think of how often he vacuumed when he lived alone and then....I realize if I say something it will at least get done. Not sure if any of this helps, but you're not alone! Do we have the same husband?
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,728 Likes: 131,010
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 6:46:54 GMT -6
Post by Pizzaslut on Jul 17, 2017 6:46:54 GMT -6
taketheshot , I find myself in that situation sometimes too. The whole "default parent" thing, but your situation is definitely more extreme. My DH loves to play and be involved with E but just won't take the lead on any of the "care" stuff unless I direct him. I find he works well with clear directions....like if I'm getting E dressed to get ready to leave, I will point out each specific thing he can gather to go into our bags. Or specifically tell him, I need your help with dishes. From my perspective, it kind of drives me crazy because no one tells me when the floor needs to be mopped or the sheets need to be changed. I.just.do.it. But it is like he is blind to those things. The delegating thing kind of gets on my nerves because I feel like I shouldn't have to, but then I also think of how often he vacuumed when he lived alone and then....I realize if I say something it will at least get done. Not sure if any of this helps, but you're not alone! This is very much like our situation. I have to list everything out that needs done. It is annoying but it's the way it's always been. His mom did everything when he was growing up so he legitimately does not think to look at the floors to see if they need swept. I am also very meticulous and perhaps a little OCD, so when I see something that needs done, I need it done RIGHT THIS MINUTE. H is not programmed that way.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 7:13:01 GMT -6
Post by redandblue on Jul 17, 2017 7:13:01 GMT -6
taketheshot,sorry for the uncomfortable conversation. I think it's good that you did talk to him. Maybe he is more distant this morning because he genuinely didn't know that was the way you were feeling, if you let it all out at once. I am definitely not capable to let these things build inside. I will say something right away...then I'm a nag. You can't win (like yesterday DH left shortly after noon to go to a metallica concert out of town over night. I had to get the floor cleaned etc. before he left, so he entertained M. Then I decided to take M to my dad's trailer swimming etc. So I had to clean up all the veggies we picked from the garden, and pack lunches etc. I left the dishes, hoping that he would clean them before he left. Nope, I came home to all the dishes still piled up....like come on dude. So instead of waiting to talk to him about it today...which I should have...I sent him a text that I was surprised to see all the dishes still there and I would do them after bathing M, getting him to bed, putting the garbage out and finishing the laundry....sorry that got long). TL;DR I feel your pain. Hopefully your conversation goes well tonight. +1 to @easternshorgirl and others on just telling DH what needs to be done...shouldn't have to do it, but it saves being upset.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 7:13:33 GMT -6
Post by redandblue on Jul 17, 2017 7:13:33 GMT -6
armpants,I hope that M is feeling better today. Were you able to get family pictures done? I want to get new family pictures done some time soon too.
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Monday
Jul 17, 2017 7:14:16 GMT -6
Post by redandblue on Jul 17, 2017 7:14:16 GMT -6
Pizzaslut,sounds like a great start to a new week. I hope you start to have some more positives happening in your family. How is YH doing?
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