bazi
Opal
Posts: 8,731 Likes: 54,666
|
Post by bazi on Jul 11, 2017 17:20:56 GMT -6
Or third, fourth, fifth, a Duggar, etc.
I'm feeling kind of guilty that I'm just not as excited about this pregnancy/baby as I was with DD. Like I'm not looking forward to decorating the nursery or buying new baby stuff...it just seems tiring now. I love this little dude, but when I think about him arriving I'm mostly planning logistics for DD.
Do you feel this way, or am I a cold heartless robot?
|
|
quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
|
Post by quinn on Jul 11, 2017 17:28:28 GMT -6
Completely normal. When I was pregnant with my 2nd I felt exactly the same way. I also felt like I couldn't love him as much as my 1st. Until he was born and I realized I'm multiplying my love, not dividing.
I'm on number 5 (so... close to Duggar status) and it is much easier with each kid.
|
|
quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
|
Post by quinn on Jul 11, 2017 17:36:06 GMT -6
Oh and you are 100% not a heartless robot! ❤
|
|
bazi
Opal
Posts: 8,731 Likes: 54,666
|
Post by bazi on Jul 11, 2017 17:38:33 GMT -6
Thanks quinn...I know I will love him just as much, I guess I feel guilty that I'm not as focused on him? Which makes sense, when I was pregnant the first time I obviously had more time to plan. I guess it hit me this morning when my friend was asking how I'm decorating the nursery, making a list of names, buying boy clothes...no, I'm not doing any of that. Should probably get on it at some point.
|
|
|
Post by grumpycat on Jul 11, 2017 17:39:26 GMT -6
Hmmmm I think I'm mostly concerned about DS. Like I'm struggling to imagine sharing myself with two kids. I'm excited about #2 and the things associated but worried about being able to balance two kids. So I think I feel similarly to you in some ways, bazi.
|
|
quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
|
Post by quinn on Jul 11, 2017 17:40:54 GMT -6
Oh! No I haven't done jack shit for this kid yet!
With my 1st I think I was done by now lol. This one will be lucky if he has a take home outfit and a crib 😂
Seriously though, yes totally normal
|
|
|
Post by misskilljoy on Jul 11, 2017 18:11:32 GMT -6
I agree that I'm not super into BABY EVERYTHING this time around. I'm mostly just impatient and want my squishy newborn sleeping on my chest right now.
|
|
|
Post by jax1182014 on Jul 11, 2017 18:14:15 GMT -6
I hear you! I'm more focused on transitioning DD into her new room and bed etc that this pregnancy is flying by and I'm not very focused on it. I'm also having another girl in the same season as DD and so we really don't need much.
|
|
|
Post by jules1614 on Jul 11, 2017 18:24:18 GMT -6
I'm the same. Part of it is loss related and part of it is life is so much busier! Like the weekly pictures I took preggo with DS haha yeah... I have taken hardly any!
|
|
bazi
Opal
Posts: 8,731 Likes: 54,666
|
Post by bazi on Jul 11, 2017 18:41:10 GMT -6
I hear you! I'm more focused on transitioning DD into her new room and bed etc that this pregnancy is flying by and I'm not very focused on it. I'm also having another girl in the same season as DD and so we really don't need much. Ah yes the room transition...well, at least I'm not really on top of furnishing DDs big girl room either. I'm an equal opportunity slacker mom.
|
|
cnf
Ruby
Posts: 20,948 Likes: 101,132
|
Post by cnf on Jul 11, 2017 18:41:57 GMT -6
I'm definitely lacking the excitement to do anything for this one. Especially so because we're having a second girl so we already have everything we need. Maybe if this one was a boy I'd be excited to at least buy baby clothes or pick a new nursery theme, but it's not so I'm not.
I'm mostly nervous for how DD will take it. She is so used to unlimited, undivided attention.
|
|
thatgolfb
Unicorn
Posts: 55,023 Likes: 234,914
|
Post by thatgolfb on Jul 11, 2017 18:59:38 GMT -6
No, definitely not heartless. I feel like I just haven't had as much time to think about this one!
|
|
pootsen
Sapphire
Posts: 3,889 Likes: 21,939
|
Post by pootsen on Jul 11, 2017 19:00:53 GMT -6
I agree that I'm not super into BABY EVERYTHING this time around. I'm mostly just impatient and want my squishy newborn sleeping on my chest right now. This! I also agree with cnf because we are having another boy. I literally haven't bought anything for this baby yet. I have pipe dreams for a nursery but that's only if we end up getting a new house. I was just thinking today about how I can't imagine what this one will look like and how it's going to feel weird when he's actually here.
|
|
you
Gold
Posts: 575 Likes: 1,698
|
Post by you on Jul 11, 2017 19:01:45 GMT -6
I haven't announced yet. Planned anything for the nursery. Taken any pregnancy pics outside of bathroom shots. This makes me sad. :-( I am going to make h start taking them.
|
|
cnf
Ruby
Posts: 20,948 Likes: 101,132
|
Post by cnf on Jul 11, 2017 19:06:38 GMT -6
In case you needed a reason to tear up, maybe this will help. Link.
|
|
|
Post by misskilljoy on Jul 11, 2017 19:13:04 GMT -6
I agree that I'm not super into BABY EVERYTHING this time around. I'm mostly just impatient and want my squishy newborn sleeping on my chest right now. This! I also agree with cnf because we are having another boy. I literally haven't bought anything for this baby yet. I have pipe dreams for a nursery but that's only if we end up getting a new house. I was just thinking today about how I can't imagine what this one will look like and how it's going to feel weird when he's actually here. OMG yes. DD is such a mini-me* that I am having a hard time envisioning a boy. *Seriously. This is her. And this is me on the right about a year older.
|
|
bethers
Platinum
Posts: 1,204 Likes: 3,796
|
Post by bethers on Jul 11, 2017 19:56:06 GMT -6
I've done some planning, but that's my personality. I do feel less pressure this time to be perfect / have everything done. But I am dragging on some things. I think part of it is that I'm a sad to lose the solo time with DS, and I'm nervous about how the twins will affect him - and my relationship with him. I know in the long run that this is good for him, but I know the twins will rock his world.
|
|
|
Post by AnnPerkins on Jul 11, 2017 20:32:31 GMT -6
Though I haven't done much to prepare for this baby, I do feel overall more excited than I did with #2/DS. I was so busy and scared and miserable during his pregnancy. I think what has helped me be more into it all this time, aside from just feeling way better, is that I know this will most likely be our last and I want to soak it all up.
I do still get the "fuckkkkkk I really like sleep and my two great kids, what have I done?" feelings, but overall I'm feeling fairly zen.
|
|
bubbles
Gold
Posts: 718 Likes: 2,075
|
Post by bubbles on Jul 11, 2017 23:21:51 GMT -6
Hmmmm I think I'm mostly concerned about DS. Like I'm struggling to imagine sharing myself with two kids. I'm excited about #2 and the things associated but worried about being able to balance two kids. So I think I feel similarly to you in some ways, bazi. This describes my feelings.
|
|
clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,826 Likes: 32,855
|
Post by clucky on Jul 11, 2017 23:26:44 GMT -6
With DS1, we tried for nearly 2 years after my uterine surgery. With DS2, we were starting with IF treatments and ended up pregnant. With DS3 and D?4 we got pregnant without a whole lot of planning.
So for me, it is a whole different mindset to start. Plus there are then the other kids to consider and prepare them for a new sibling. Adding a whole other personality to our crew is kind of overwhelming. Will they get along with each sibling? Will they fit into the family dynamic? Etc.
I'm much less worried about me or having the things ready. With DS2, I purposefully didn't buy much because I knew it would help get me/us out of the house.
I think we, as mothers, don't give ourselves enough grace. It is a lot to bring these babies into our families. No matter if you are planning physically or mentally or some combo, you aren't horrible.
Now if only I could remember to shower and get my weekly bump pic taken, I would feel better.
|
|
clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,826 Likes: 32,855
|
Post by clucky on Jul 11, 2017 23:33:00 GMT -6
Oh! No I haven't done jack shit for this kid yet! With my 1st I think I was done by now lol. This one will be lucky if he has a take home outfit and a crib 😂 Seriously though, yes totally normal See, the only things on my list is the take home outfit and the shirts I will make them all to wear. The crib is ready and since my family came in and we needed the room, DS3 was graduated to the big boy room a few weeks ago. 😏
|
|
|
Post by snuff9861 on Jul 11, 2017 23:34:16 GMT -6
Completely normal. I'm not savouring every single moment like I did with DS. I was the same with DD. I chalk it up to knowing how awesome it is to meet the little person waiting on the flip side for us.
|
|
clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,826 Likes: 32,855
|
Post by clucky on Jul 11, 2017 23:37:15 GMT -6
I hear you! I'm more focused on transitioning DD into her new room and bed etc that this pregnancy is flying by and I'm not very focused on it. I'm also having another girl in the same season as DD and so we really don't need much. Ah yes the room transition...well, at least I'm not really on top of furnishing DDs big girl room either. I'm an equal opportunity slacker mom. I took a 1/2 day before my evening induction with DS2 to move DS1's stuff into his closet and dresser. We have paint for the room, but it is still secure in the can....3.5 years later. 👍🏻 I don't view it as slacking, just prioritizing differently. 🙄
|
|
beefinch
Platinum
Posts: 1,044 Likes: 4,404
|
Post by beefinch on Jul 12, 2017 4:07:43 GMT -6
I feel more impatient for DD to be here, and I want this pregnancy over and done with, for lots of reasons.
I think I got my guilty feelings out with when I first found out I was pregnant, felt very sad and low about DS having to share me and H, but as the months have gone by, it's turned into excitement to see how DS will react to his baby sister.
But I also think a MASSIVE reason why I'm so excited is because I'm team pink. I've never had a little girl, and I'm very excited for all the pink. It's no secret that we all know I wanted a girl and within the first week of finding out she was I had bought nearly all of her first 3 months clothes.
I'm very much a planner and organiser, so we have everything done apart from a few main bits (ordering pram, getting things out of loft from DS) this time with DS's pregnancy I was pretty much done also. But I have a lot less to do this pregnancy as I don't have a nursery to do (they will be sharing a room) and she will be in with us for the first 6 months. It's just her clothes I needed to do.
|
|
|
Post by peggels24 on Jul 12, 2017 8:07:55 GMT -6
Another vote for feeling the same as you bazi, I do think it has a lot to do with the fact that I know how little a baby needs now and that I already have most of it. And I also I know that I can always go to the store in October and purchase stuff. I was so overwhelmed and scared of what I needed and what I was going to get, that I rushed out to do my Registry (and also because the shower throwers were pushing me as well LOL). Also - DD taught me how great Amazon Prime is - need more bottles - sure just order them! And quinn, thank you so much for saying that about your love multiplying because I've seriously been wondering if I could ever love someone as much as I love DD and how I was going to feel this way about someone else.
|
|
catmom88
Platinum
Posts: 2,126 Likes: 8,228
|
Post by catmom88 on Jul 12, 2017 12:29:07 GMT -6
Plus whatever on not being a heartless robot. I remember checking my pregnancy app daily with dd now it is more like once a week. Also, at this point I feel like I had dd's room more set up or least stuff ordered and ready to be put in place. I also worry about adjusting to having two children from one. I know we will make it though.
|
|
catmom88
Platinum
Posts: 2,126 Likes: 8,228
|
Post by catmom88 on Jul 12, 2017 12:31:02 GMT -6
peggels24,+1 on amazon prime. I guarantee I will be using that even more than I do now. cnf,Love that article. Read it last night and it definitely can make you tear up.
|
|
roloma
Sapphire
Posts: 3,659 Likes: 21,893
|
Post by roloma on Jul 12, 2017 13:09:26 GMT -6
Oh poor second DS. I haven't done anything except buy a bunch of Tea Collection clothes for super cheap (that I didn't need, mind you) on Amazon. I've just started thinking about how to rearrange the nursery to fit them both in. I figure it will all work out in the end. We have most of what we need and can get whatever we find we are lacking pretty quickly. When DS1 was born, he caught us so off guard by coming early that we didn't really have anything then either and he survived
|
|
beefinch
Platinum
Posts: 1,044 Likes: 4,404
|
Post by beefinch on Jul 12, 2017 13:21:21 GMT -6
I feel us STM+, don't have the time like we used to with our firsts.
I literally have no idea how I'm 23.5 weeks, but this time with DS it seemed like an age went by before I was this far gone.
Kids make the time go past so much quicker, all of my time and energy goes into keeping this toddler alive, I forget that I'm cooking another one up (but get constantly reminded by the heartburn, tiredness, hunger, and lack of breath)
|
|
bubbles
Gold
Posts: 718 Likes: 2,075
|
Post by bubbles on Jul 12, 2017 13:40:40 GMT -6
beefinch, I definitely agree that time is going much quicker this time around. I sometimes feel guilty that I'm not focused on being pregnant like I was with DD. I'm having to realize this doesn't mean I don't love this baby any less, I'm just busier now.
|
|