McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186
Likes: 296,694
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Post by McBenny on Mar 2, 2020 13:12:45 GMT -6
You diagnosed this how?
I am legit asking.
I didn't but based on what I have studied about narcissist and her stories he is one I am not pretending to be a therapist though I was just curious. I thought I heard a lot of stories and didn't peg him for narcissist.
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Post by Rusty Red on Mar 2, 2020 13:13:35 GMT -6
I would absolutely feel violated. That was the first word that came in my head when I read your original post, actually. No one makes changes to my home unless they live there. Hell, my mom lives with me and still asks before she does anything to the house.
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Post by readyornot on Mar 2, 2020 13:18:11 GMT -6
readyornot Is he current on child support? If he wasn't, I'd be even more annoyed. He is, he is actually fantastic about child support & extra money for sports stuff or if something comes up. Its truely his saving grace in these trying times. |
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willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,627 Likes: 125,242 
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Post by willow on Mar 2, 2020 13:19:26 GMT -6
readyornot Is he current on child support? If he wasn't, I'd be even more annoyed. He is, he is actually fantastic about child support & extra money for sports stuff or if something comes up. Its truely his saving grace in these trying times. Well, that is good, at least. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings of violating your space by any means, I was just curious. I still think your feelings are valid 100%. |
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 2, 2020 13:24:12 GMT -6
My neighbor just made me feel super weird for letting my kids play in our backyard while I’m not out there. Sure they are small, but i can see them. I don’t need to hover...I know they can get up and down the slide without me and if I go out there who will clean up our lunch mess? DD started playing outside by herself around 18 months. I would be in the kitchen with the door open to the backyard. It's fenced in. There were plenty of windows to look out and check on her. And she was always singing to herself so I knew she was ok. Don't feel weird, your neighbor needs to mind their damn business. My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 |
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Post by readyornot on Mar 2, 2020 13:24:22 GMT -6
I just feel very...violated about it all. And that seems like a strong word for what actually happened, but I don't like that these people were in my house doing these things without my knowledge or consent, or even my damn input. I am a very independent handle my own shit person. If you want to help, let's talk it out. I would have likely gladly used his help changing out blinds & installing a ceiling fan, but damn. Not like this, I do not like the way this was handled at all. I feel all of this is valid and should be said to him just like this.
He needs to know where you are coming from.
I did tell him pretty much this, but there were several more variations of "fuck" involved because I did not take the time to calm down before texting him. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2020 13:28:37 GMT -6
DD started playing outside by herself around 18 months. I would be in the kitchen with the door open to the backyard. It's fenced in. There were plenty of windows to look out and check on her. And she was always singing to herself so I knew she was ok. Don't feel weird, your neighbor needs to mind their damn business. My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 I wouldn't and mine is 22 months but I legit fear kidnapping. Or just somehow my kid figures how to get out of the fence. Comfortability and all. |
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Post by sheilathetank on Mar 2, 2020 13:33:34 GMT -6
My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 I wouldn't and mine is 22 months but I legit fear kidnapping. Or just somehow my kid figures how to get out of the fence. Comfortability and all. But i wouldn't make another mom feel bad if they were, which is what it sounds like the neighbor did whether it was intentional or not. |
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 2, 2020 13:45:47 GMT -6
My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 I wouldn't and mine is 22 months but I legit fear kidnapping. Or just somehow my kid figures how to get out of the fence. Comfortability and all. I...do not fear either of these things. There’s a ring camera if someone walks up my driveway my phone makes noise and the fence is 5ft with the latch on the outside so the girls can’t open it. Garage is locked, the area behind the garage is gated off. I have no worries that they are safe back there only that my nosy neighbors are judging me. And I don’t actually care if they are judging me, I’m still going to let my kids play outside, it just surprised me that this was judgment worthy. |
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Post by coffeandnaps on Mar 2, 2020 13:47:55 GMT -6
DD started playing outside by herself around 18 months. I would be in the kitchen with the door open to the backyard. It's fenced in. There were plenty of windows to look out and check on her. And she was always singing to herself so I knew she was ok. Don't feel weird, your neighbor needs to mind their damn business. My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 when my twins were 20 months I would not have done this, because I didn’t trust them to not run out the broken gate while I wasn’t looking. I did send #3 out back around that age with the twins though. The twins were 4ish by then and they are rule following tattlers so I was comfortable with this. ETA: no judgement from me. |
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emma
Ruby
Posts: 18,826
Likes: 86,501
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Post by emma on Mar 2, 2020 13:48:59 GMT -6
i'm annoyed the Gap Canada website is only giving a store stock checker for the US. I'm guessing it's a glitch since the ON one used to work but i'm still annoyed
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elodin
Opal
Posts: 9,586 Likes: 26,672
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Post by elodin on Mar 2, 2020 13:49:23 GMT -6
I'd be pissed if my husband did that shit without my input. I can't imagine an x that doesn't live there anymore doing it. I'd feel violated too. Wow.
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Post by icedcoffee on Mar 2, 2020 13:51:05 GMT -6
I've let all my kids play in our fenced in backyard from a young age when I'm not constantly supervising 🤷♀️ that's the number one reason I wanted a house with a fenced in yard. Lol
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Post by angelashly on Mar 2, 2020 13:52:21 GMT -6
We don't have a backyard which is my biggest complaint about my house because I can't let the kid run free. Yes she is 9 and fully capable and if they olds still lived next door I would let her, but the neighbors we have now no. Their dog jumps the fence and Saturday we watched while the mail man noped right out of delivering our mail because their dog wouldn't let him out of his truck Tl;DR: let them judge imapenguin, |
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 2, 2020 13:52:35 GMT -6
My youngest are 20 months and we’ve been doing it all year, so about the same. They have a pool in their backyard so I guess it’s just different for her situation. She came over to borrow something right as we were finishing lunch and when I shooed them out the door and then she was like I’ll get out of your way so you can supervise that, I was like, no rush, they’re fine, she gave me this weird look like I know she’s about to text her husband about this crazy thing I just did. 😆 when my twins were 20 months I would not have done this, because I didn’t trust them to not run out the broken gate while I wasn’t looking. I did send #3 out back around that age with the twins though. The twins were 4ish by then and they are rule following tattlers so I was comfortable with this. ETA: no judgement from me. Their 4.5yo rules are life sister was with them today but they go out when she’s at school too. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2020 13:55:59 GMT -6
I wouldn't and mine is 22 months but I legit fear kidnapping. Or just somehow my kid figures how to get out of the fence. Comfortability and all. I...do not fear either of these things. There’s a ring camera if someone walks up my driveway my phone makes noise and the fence is 5ft with the latch on the outside so the girls can’t open it. Garage is locked, the area behind the garage is gated off. I have no worries that they are safe back there only that my nosy neighbors are judging me. And I don’t actually care if they are judging me, I’m still going to let my kids play outside, it just surprised me that this was judgment worthy. It could be the neighbor just didn't realize some people do this. I can't say it wouldn't have gotten a whoa from me off the bat. Being surprised by another parent's choice doesn't necessarily mean judging. |
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Post by sheilathetank on Mar 2, 2020 13:59:28 GMT -6
I've let all my kids play in our fenced in backyard from a young age when I'm not constantly supervising 🤷♀️ that's the number one reason I wanted a house with a fenced in yard. Lol 100% this. "Big fenced in yard" was like #3 on our must haves for our house. I only wish I could go back and put "playroom" as #4. |
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Post by sweptaway on Mar 2, 2020 14:03:34 GMT -6
My husband just started throwing up
Help me
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Post by sweptaway on Mar 2, 2020 14:03:56 GMT -6
Ugh and we were going to grill steaks for dinner too
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186
Likes: 296,694
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Post by McBenny on Mar 2, 2020 14:05:35 GMT -6
I have always had my kids in the yard solo from early age. It's in recent years that people went all hover mode IMO and IME.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186
Likes: 296,694
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Post by McBenny on Mar 2, 2020 14:06:14 GMT -6
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emma
Ruby
Posts: 18,826
Likes: 86,501
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Post by emma on Mar 2, 2020 14:08:14 GMT -6
i'm very excited to finally have a fenced yard this summer so i can send DS out. Last year we had a small patio that was open and in the middle of a townhouse complex, i gave DS boundries he wasn't to go past so i guess i did let him out alone but i was nervous about it, and checked in every 5ish mins.
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Post by icedcoffee on Mar 2, 2020 14:09:15 GMT -6
We had our first trip to Great Wolf Lodge last Thursday-Saturday. Everyone told us to enjoy our norovirus. And dammit, they were right 😫
We always go to indoor play places and otherwise "germy" places and are always fine. Grr
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 2, 2020 14:09:29 GMT -6
The yard is the only place they can consistently play without fighting. I remember my mom making my siblings and I go outside when we couldn’t get along too. Something magic about outside.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186
Likes: 296,694
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Post by McBenny on Mar 2, 2020 14:11:40 GMT -6
One of my favorite house in Louisiana had an awesome yard with nice big tree. Plenty of concrete where they could ride scooters and ride on toys. Grass and our swing set.
I could see them from living room and kitchen.
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Post by icedcoffee on Mar 2, 2020 14:13:17 GMT -6
One of my favorite house in Louisiana had an awesome yard with nice big tree. Plenty of concrete where they could ride scooters and ride on toys. Grass and our swing set. I could see them from living room and kitchen. We have a set up here that sounds very similar. I love it. And especially because when they want to play in snow and I dont want to freeze, they can go out on their own 🤣 |
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Post by justbecause on Mar 2, 2020 14:14:04 GMT -6
I would if I could fence my yard. But it’s too rocky.
And probably not the 2 year old because I can’t trust him not to put things in his mouth.
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Post by Rusty Red on Mar 2, 2020 14:14:58 GMT -6
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hawkward
Global Moderator 
Loss, Infertility
Posts: 19,638
Likes: 123,092
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Post by hawkward on Mar 2, 2020 14:16:39 GMT -6
I miss having a real yard. We have a postage stamp here. There’s a great alley to play in but it’s not the same as the huge fenced yard we used to have.
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Post by angelashly on Mar 2, 2020 14:20:31 GMT -6
One of my favorite house in Louisiana had an awesome yard with nice big tree. Plenty of concrete where they could ride scooters and ride on toys. Grass and our swing set. I could see them from living room and kitchen. This sounds like the perfect place |
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