sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Feb 19, 2020 22:03:59 GMT -6
For working moms, what are your plans? Will you take off at all before the birth, and how much time after?
I’ve always worked up till labor but I think I’ll try to go out at 39 weeks this time - and then of course watch baby come at 39 weeks so I don’t have time to get anything done. I plan to go back to work after Labor Day (which should make about a 13/14 week leave). I’ll also end up going to a few meetings while on leave.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 19, 2020 22:23:50 GMT -6
In the past I worked until the day before my due date. That’s probably the plan this time around too, unless baby decides to come early. I plan to take 12 weeks, some of which will be unpaid.
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twopeas
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Post by twopeas on Feb 19, 2020 22:36:55 GMT -6
I plan to work until I go into labor. I was induced when I had ds so I definitely worked until that day last time. We'll see what happens as far as that goes this time around.
As far as time off, I'm only taking the minimum of 6 weeks, maybeeee 8 depending on how delivery goes. I wish I could take more time off, but none of it is paid so it will be a struggle for me to be off much longer than that. Also, there is only 6 of us assistants at work and summer is our busiest time of year so I can't help but feel a little guilty leaving them down one person for very long.
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Post by magaroni on Feb 20, 2020 4:59:46 GMT -6
I plan to work to 39 weeks. I’d love to work until my due date but it’s hard to get shifts covered if I would go in to labor before that. I plan to take 12 weeks off.
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danib
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Post by danib on Feb 20, 2020 5:13:41 GMT -6
I plan on working my last shift on Sunday then getting my sick note when I see my doctor next Thursday. So I'll have roughly 15 weeks sick leave, then a year of maternity.
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 20, 2020 5:59:05 GMT -6
I want to work until my due date at least. Last time sitting at home for a few weeks drove me nuts as I was too uncomfortable to do anything properly but could see everything that needed to be done. Plus everyone calling to see if I had the baby yet 🤦♀️.
I’ll take the year after for maternity leave (we now have the option for 18 months but I don’t want that).
DS will be in preschool two days a week, still trying to decide if he’ll go to daycare part time as well.
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danib
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Post by danib on Feb 20, 2020 6:41:52 GMT -6
aries I've been debating the 18 months, but where I'm only working part time as it is I'm afraid the pay will be too low if I spread it out beyond the year. It would be a good indication of we can actually afford for me to quit my job after maternity, but part of me doing that relies on paying off debt, which will be easier with the higher income (so 12 months). I'm torn.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Feb 20, 2020 6:52:49 GMT -6
aries I have a much shorter leave than you do, but I keep my older kids in their regular full time school/daycare. Even though it will be summer, my 6- and 7-year-olds will still be doing YMCA camps every week. I’ll just have the flexibility to pick them up early if I feel like it or keep them home for a day here or there. They’re used to being out of the house running around with their friends all day, and I really like to be able to give the new baby a lot of one-on-one attention, and actually nap a little bit during the day when the baby does. I’d recommend having as much child care as possible for your older one lined up, and you can always cut back if you want later on.
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Post by fikafairy on Feb 20, 2020 7:34:04 GMT -6
I'm going to take the full 12 weeks, and will go out when baby comes out. The plan is to have a repeat c-section, date TBD and dependent on how baby is doing with the treatments and/or if any procedures are needed, so I will likely work up through the full week before the c-section if it's a Monday or Tuesday, or if it's at the end of the week, WAH the first few days of the week. My 7 yo DS will be in camp for the majority of the summer, but we will keep him out for about 1-2 weeks towards the end of my leave. The camp is run through his daycare, so we are pretty flexible with what we are able to do there.
This will be the only pregnancy where I am able to take the full 12 weeks so I'm going to take advantage! It will use all of the banked sick time I have, and this year's vacation time, but because of the timing I get to use both this year's and next year's since it rolls over and starts re-accruing in June and needs to be used by September.
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Post by txaggie08 on Feb 20, 2020 11:43:25 GMT -6
I'll work until I have the baby, which has always been past my due date (scheduled inductions both previous times). I want to take my full 12 weeks this time, but will run out of sick/vacation accrued by around 8 weeks, so the rest will be unpaid. DH and I still need to discuss what we're comfortable with.
DS will go to daycare during my leave, but DD (will be almost 9 at this point) is staying home with me. I've always been by myself during maternity leave and am really nervous about having her home and needing to parent her and a newborn. I'm hoping to sign her up for a few camps so her summer isn't too boring. Unfortunately, it's too hot to do much outside for a good portion of my leave, so we can't just go to a park like I'd like to. Hopefully the library will be a good option for trips out of the house - she loves reading!
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Feb 20, 2020 14:15:13 GMT -6
As an American, i feel incredibly guilty being able to take advantage of Canadian healthcare when so many of you get, at very best, 12 weeks. It’s a disgrace.
As it is, I am going off at 35 weeks, so March 20th, and will be taking the 18 months. I also had to budget out 12 vs 18 months and I think we can make it work. It helps that both older kids will now be in school and I won’t have to pay for before and after care since I’ll be off. I won’t be going back to work until sept/oct 2021.
And if financially possible, I would also recommend leaving an older kid in daycare. I loved being able to bond with my second in the same direct, calm, one on one manner as I did with my 1st.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Feb 20, 2020 17:23:05 GMT -6
hangry, so you’re an American and live in Canada? Honestly, I’m fine with 3 months of leave. I’m very lucky that it’s fully paid (my first two leaves weren’t but then my firm changed its policy). I don’t even think I’d want to take 6 months. I think daycare helps my kids get on a nice schedule and my kids have liked being around other babies, I think. My job is very client centric and I would worry that other people would take over my relationships if I was out too long. Plus this is my fourth maternity leave. I really feel like my career advancement/compensation/seniority would suffer if I took off a total of four years out of the past 10. I do think it’s totally ridiculous that not everyone in the US gets 12 weeks of leave with some pay. That should be a legislative requirement.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Feb 20, 2020 19:36:46 GMT -6
sdlaura I feel a little better knowing that it works for some people! I do know some lawyers or doctors or business people who choose to not take a full year. But I would say that is definitely the minority. People just expect it here. And without a doubt, the bare minimum should be 12 weeks with some pay. And yes, I’m American. I’ve been living in Canada for 11 years now.
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willow
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Post by willow on Feb 21, 2020 12:49:23 GMT -6
The maternity leave situation in this country is simply laughable and upsetting. I hate that I feel "lucky" to get what I get, since many don't even get what I have, and it's still a pittance considering literally every other developed country in the world.
Anyway. I plan on working until the day before my scheduled c/s. Then I will take about 14-15 weeks off. The first week will be flex/PTO time, then 7 weeks of my short term disability pay (one week required "exhaustion" pay before it kicks in which is why its 7 weeks), then my 3 weeks paid parental leave. That will give me 11 weeks with some sort of pay. I will probably have a day or two of flex time leftover after that so I'll use whatever up that I have and the rest will be unpaid. But I've been socking away $$ in savings so I am feeling comfortable about the extra unpaid time off which is nice.
All told, if everything goes according to plan and the babies don't come early, I will be out from April 16 through August 3.
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 21, 2020 12:53:04 GMT -6
sdlaura yes I do agree about keeping him in daycare just for that reason alone! I just am torn because I’ll be home to be with him, a lot of friends are having babies around the same time who also have kids DS’s age, and I could join a mom/tot/baby group to have structured outings and meet more people. But I do think he’d have more fun in daycare with his friends and normal routine, that’s why part time might be best?! Also I did enjoy the one on one time with him when he was a baby and would like the new baby to have that too. Haha after writing that all out it just sounds tiring - hence why I haven’t 100% decided to keep him home yet. Decisions decisions lol. danib I know so many people who have taken the 18 months. I’m happy they have the additional time with their baby and to be home but it’s not for me! And definitely if you can swing it financially and for what works for your family it’s awesome. I was climbing the walls at 10.5 months to get back to my work and be around adults. I also really love my job right now and while I know I’ll be able to shut off from work when I’m home, we are implementing so much change at work I’ll be itching to get back and see how the transition is going. (Disclaimer: I might feel differently once I have two and am more busy at home!). Ideally if I could have a few Friday’s off a month that would help with balancing both. I hope you are able to swing it to get the 18 months! But it makes sense to just go for 12 if the end goal is to ultimately quit. It would be more worth it in the long run because what’s an extra 6 months versus forever?! It probably would be less of a question if you knew everything was dealt with in regards to selling your house too. And also I think I missed why are you getting written off work early?
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 21, 2020 14:39:22 GMT -6
aries could you send your older kid full time for like 3 weeks or a month so that you have one on one time with the baby. Then after that drop him down to part time. I wish I had some sort of option like that. The girls are going to feel cooped up in the house while the baby is new. It would be so much better if they could go somewhere every day to get their energy out and play with other kids.
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danib
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Post by danib on Feb 21, 2020 16:19:12 GMT -6
aries my doctor always takes me off work early when I'm pregnant. I'm high risk due to all of my autoimmune diseases and my job is high stress and risky anyway (like potentially violent situations etc). She's actually been after me for years to quit because everything about it has just been so hard on my body (I compromised after DS2 was born and agreed to go part time and she gave me a medical note to exempt me from working overnights). I actually see multiple doctors, and my Rheumatologist was pissed at me because I went back to work while I was pregnant with DS2. I had a massive autoimmune flare-up that resulted in me being hospitalized for a few weeks, unable to walk, twice during my first trimester. So I was off during the entire first tri. Anyway I convinced my other doctor to clear me to go back during second tri, just so I could work enough hours to qualify for another bout of sick leave and my maternity leave. He wanted me to stay off indefinitely, but I couldn't afford that, which my other doctor sympathized and basically trusted me to make that decision, knowing it would only be 14 weeks working and then I could take off 3rd trimester and then my year maternity. So yeah. Basically I'm medically complicated and my job (that I used to adore) has been wreaking havoc on my health for years, and I'm finally unhappy enough there to stop being so stubborn and listen to my doctor's.
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Feb 21, 2020 18:30:51 GMT -6
I like trtlcrzy’s idea of doing full time daycare for the older kid at first. Once a baby is a few months old they get so much more predictable and are less likely to try to just sit and nurse all day
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 21, 2020 18:49:48 GMT -6
I forgot to mention that part sorry! Our daycare is a private home daycare and she operates on a yearly basis that runs from September to August. She takes off the whole month of August and we have to pay her for that month. So since the year includes May, June, July I was planning on him going there same as always and especially because preschool will be done. August will be challenging since H works full time and she won’t be working at all so it will just be me but we could do play dates and just walk to the park or whatever, plus my parents live in the same city as us so they could take him (or the baby) for one on one time.
I like that you guys think that’s an ideal plan because as you said it I realized I forgot about those few months and now am realizing that’s prob what will be best is doing part time come September since we will have the whole month of August together and he will be ready to get back to a more regular routine (as will I hah).
What do your partners do in terms of time off once baby arrives? Do they take a few days off? Apparently in Canada the spouse can now take 6 weeks paternity leave in conjunction with the maternity leave. My friend just told me this... not an option for us because H just started a new job recently and doesn’t want to leave for that long but he will take a week.
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 21, 2020 18:52:21 GMT -6
I like trtlcrzy’s idea of doing full time daycare for the older kid at first. Once a baby is a few months old they get so much more predictable and are less likely to try to just sit and nurse all day I loved that part just sitting and relaxing and letting baby nurse when they were so new and content. 🥰 something I do want to be able to do again this time around without having to worry that I’m ignoring DS or keeping him entertained.
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 21, 2020 19:03:19 GMT -6
danib oh man, that sounds super stressful. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that. It’s awesome you have very supportive doctors though. I do think though that for life you need to be able to enjoy it and if the risk (stress?) causes flare ups which in turn affects your life and your family’s life it’s time for a change. I loved my old job but once I had DS it wasn’t feasible to keep working the long hours/extra on the weekends because I wanted to be more present in his life and my priorities changed and I started to not enjoy it anymore. And my job wasn’t dangerous or risky! Is there any way you can get a new job doing some aspect of your current job but with less risk?
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sdlaura
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Post by sdlaura on Feb 21, 2020 19:06:36 GMT -6
aries my husband doesn’t take much paternity leave. He works for a small firm that doesn’t have an official policy and can kind of decide on his own. I don’t feel like there’s that much for him to do when it’s just me and the baby. I would rather him go in a little late/leave a little early at first so he can get the other kids to and from their camps/daycare, rather than need to be home all day. I think with DS3 we had him early morning on a Tuesday, went home from the hospital Wednesday, and DH took off the rest of that week off and maybe the following Monday. We went to the beach one of those days and accidentally sunburned the baby a little bit because it was overcast and we couldn’t tell which way the light was coming from, so we positioned the umbrella incorrectly
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willow
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Post by willow on Feb 21, 2020 20:01:10 GMT -6
Re: my husband. He gets 3 weeks paid parental leave just like me (we both work for local government and it is the new standard being rolled out). So he’s gonna take that plus probably another week of PTO So that he is home with for a full month. Then at the end of my leave he’ll try and take another full week off of his PTO so that it extends the time the babies don’t need child care. So they will be over 4 months when we start our nanny/MIL nanny child care plan.
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hangry
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Post by hangry on Feb 21, 2020 20:01:51 GMT -6
My H will take 2 weeks off. But if my mom is still in town, he might delay it. He does do some traveling for work, so our big thing is determining when his last trip will be and when he can start traveling again. I think it was like a month in both directions for our last kid.
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wasabi
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Post by wasabi on Feb 21, 2020 21:49:52 GMT -6
I’ll get 6 weeks paid, so I guess my plan is to work until I pop. But I’ll definitely take more time off, I’m hoping I can use short term disability but I haven’t called about it yet (I should probably add that to my to do list this week). If that’s not a possibility I suppose I’ll just take sometime off unpaid which should be ok for a bit.
I was a sahm with my first so it’ll be a new experience going back to work with a newborn, but with the way my hours are it should be an ok transition (I only work about 5.5 hour days and I’m usually done by 10am or 12pm at the latest. I would still kill for Canada’s maternity leave. Or like, most any other country besides ours lol.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Feb 21, 2020 22:03:08 GMT -6
I forgot to mention that part sorry! Our daycare is a private home daycare and she operates on a yearly basis that runs from September to August. She takes off the whole month of August and we have to pay her for that month. So since the year includes May, June, July I was planning on him going there same as always and especially because preschool will be done. August will be challenging since H works full time and she won’t be working at all so it will just be me but we could do play dates and just walk to the park or whatever, plus my parents live in the same city as us so they could take him (or the baby) for one on one time. I like that you guys think that’s an ideal plan because as you said it I realized I forgot about those few months and now am realizing that’s prob what will be best is doing part time come September since we will have the whole month of August together and he will be ready to get back to a more regular routine (as will I hah). What do your partners do in terms of time off once baby arrives? Do they take a few days off? Apparently in Canada the spouse can now take 6 weeks paternity leave in conjunction with the maternity leave. My friend just told me this... not an option for us because H just started a new job recently and doesn’t want to leave for that long but he will take a week. DH will take a week off. With DD2 she was born on Friday so he had that day and the following week.
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Post by txaggie08 on Feb 21, 2020 22:35:04 GMT -6
aries DH will take off a few days, but that's probably it. We haven't really discussed it yet.
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danib
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Post by danib on Feb 22, 2020 0:49:12 GMT -6
danib oh man, that sounds super stressful. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that. It’s awesome you have very supportive doctors though. I do think though that for life you need to be able to enjoy it and if the risk (stress?) causes flare ups which in turn affects your life and your family’s life it’s time for a change. I loved my old job but once I had DS it wasn’t feasible to keep working the long hours/extra on the weekends because I wanted to be more present in his life and my priorities changed and I started to not enjoy it anymore. And my job wasn’t dangerous or risky! Is there any way you can get a new job doing some aspect of your current job but with less risk? Unfortunately most jobs in my field would be similar. It's more the type of schedule that causes the problems for me (which is why I've reduced my hours so much, and I'm only able to do that because I have a medical note and am protected by my Union - I wouldn't get it starting somewhere new), coupled with the mental/emotional burnout that is high in the field. The physical risk is only really a big deal (for me) during pregnancy. There are other related types of jobs I would be qualified for but I haven't found one that I'm really passionate about (or that pays the same, which is an issue if I have to pay for daycare). As for DH, I'm not sure about that 6 week thing. I'll have to look into it. I know he could use part of my parental leave, either after me or at the same time, but it would be subtracted from my year. We actually did that with DS1 due to an opportunity with my work. But we wouldn't do it that way again, we both agree it is better for us if I'm the one staying home. Now if this is an ADDITIONAL 6 weeks, separate from my time, then that's something else. We are actually just hoping that this baby comes around the same time as his brothers (37-38 weeks) which will put him being born at the beginning of DHs rotation home, so he would just luck into a few weeks with us regardless. Biggest concern for us is that he doesn't miss it completely!
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aries
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Post by aries on Feb 22, 2020 8:20:53 GMT -6
danib oh man, that sounds super stressful. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that. It’s awesome you have very supportive doctors though. I do think though that for life you need to be able to enjoy it and if the risk (stress?) causes flare ups which in turn affects your life and your family’s life it’s time for a change. I loved my old job but once I had DS it wasn’t feasible to keep working the long hours/extra on the weekends because I wanted to be more present in his life and my priorities changed and I started to not enjoy it anymore. And my job wasn’t dangerous or risky! Is there any way you can get a new job doing some aspect of your current job but with less risk? Unfortunately most jobs in my field would be similar. It's more the type of schedule that causes the problems for me (which is why I've reduced my hours so much, and I'm only able to do that because I have a medical note and am protected by my Union - I wouldn't get it starting somewhere new), coupled with the mental/emotional burnout that is high in the field. The physical risk is only really a big deal (for me) during pregnancy. There are other related types of jobs I would be qualified for but I haven't found one that I'm really passionate about (or that pays the same, which is an issue if I have to pay for daycare). As for DH, I'm not sure about that 6 week thing. I'll have to look into it. I know he could use part of my parental leave, either after me or at the same time, but it would be subtracted from my year. We actually did that with DS1 due to an opportunity with my work. But we wouldn't do it that way again, we both agree it is better for us if I'm the one staying home. Now if this is an ADDITIONAL 6 weeks, separate from my time, then that's something else. We are actually just hoping that this baby comes around the same time as his brothers (37-38 weeks) which will put him being born at the beginning of DHs rotation home, so he would just luck into a few weeks with us regardless. Biggest concern for us is that he doesn't miss it completely! And once you go back you wouldn't have the medical note to continue with the reduced hours? And the mental/emotional burnout while trying to be present for your family and life, and the potential for another flare up, it really doesn't seem worth it to go back. It also is tricky because before your leave you need to decide the 12 or 18 months because if you take 18, your monthly EI is reduced to cover the full 18 months but then if you go back early (or find a new job!) you don't get that extra EI money back as you can't change the option mid way thru. I think it's an additional 6 weeks! It's actually 5 plus 1 week waiting period. My friend was the one telling me about it but I don't know much about it. I think this is the info though: www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/campaigns/ei-improvements/parental-choice.html "The extra 5 weeks of standard parental benefits and extra 8 weeks of extended parental benefits are available only to parents of children born or placed with them for adoption on or after March 17, 2019." - Maybe you could take it and prolong going back to your stressful job haha!
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danib
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Post by danib on Feb 22, 2020 11:36:41 GMT -6
aries if I go back I'll still have my note for my reduced hours, I've been doing that for 2 years now and it's definitely helped keep my health stable in that time. So I could go back after my leave if something changes financially between now and then. I've just become really unhappy with my employer and it's gotten to the point where it's not worth it anymore. The problem would be if I tried to apply elsewhere. I would either have to go back to doing shift work (which I know my body can't handle anymore) or they just wouldn't hire me. Medical note is no good when you are first starting because you aren't unionized yet. But that's all a really long ways away. I'm definitely gonna look into those weeks for DH though!!
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