How'd you start here?

[jewels]

Reading the mega thread on GD got me thinking.  I know some of us have been regs since before the N13 babies came, some when they were little, and some not till the past few years.

So, how did you find N13? Is this your first message board?  What drew you to the community?

[tgrimes]

The first time I went while we were pregnant. Someone was complaining about struggling with the weight they were gaining and I sympathized with her, since she had a previous eating disorder and I could relate. A lot of people went ape shit on us. So I left.

I came back on when M was around 3 months old and was looking to see how everyone was transitioning from the swaddle. I was terrified to do it and still dealing with PPA at the time. I just randomly started posting and that was that.

I had never been on a message board previously.

[jewels]

I lurked a bit on the bump and posted a bit in the over 35 trying to get pregnant. I maybe posted once or twice in N13 while pregnant but was not really involved and rarely even read.

I think I started reading and posting a little more when the babies were little and I was just home a lot. But I still was mostly a lurker.

I'd say right around the TCF move I started getting more involved. I think I liked that it was a bit smaller and less... bitchy by that point.

I think being alone so much, I was really drawn to the community you guys built here and liked the support and friendship I saw.

[jewels]

Oh and I had never been on a message board before either. I think I posted 1 time on the Knot asking some question and was told I did everything wrong and left as quickly as I started.

[guster]

The bump was my first message board ever. I basically signed up to see what kind of fruit was growing in my stomach every month and saw that there were birth month boards.
I lurked for a very long time. I probably didn’t start really posting until Josie was a little over a year, but probably from four months on or so I would comment randomly with something innocuous.
I often wonder if we have lurkers here. I feel like this forum would be very challenging to find but you never know.

[lfig]

I stumbled onto TB after we found out that S had hydrocephalus when I was about 20 weeks along. I had never even heard of hydrocephalus before so of course I had to consult Dr. Google. Through that search I wound up on a hydrocephalus board on TB. Trying to navigate what that was going to mean for our baby. Then as I was poking around more, I stumbled upon the BMB. I lurked for a long long time. But not hard core. Just, periodically, when I was bored. Then I came “out” when there was a lurker call out. I think the kiddos were maybe close to a year old...I really can’t remember. I had never joined any type of forum prior to that.

[lfig]

Also I remember that one of the questions in the lurker call out post was who was your favorite regular poster. I oddly, remember my answer to that, it was cagoldi and kamakaziartist. I don’t remember what I ate for lunch yesterday...but I remember that! Lol.

[trtlcrzy]

Jan 13, 2020 12:12:49 GMT -6 guster said:

The bump was my first message board ever. I basically signed up to see what kind of fruit was growing in my stomach every month and saw that there were birth month boards.
I lurked for a very long time. I probably didn’t start really posting until Josie was a little over a year, but probably from four months on or so I would comment randomly with something innocuous.
I often wonder if we have lurkers here. I feel like this forum would be very challenging to find but you never know.

I feel like if we still have lurkers they’ve been following us around since the bump.

[trtlcrzy]

I discovered the boards on the bump app sometime in July when we were all KU. I never had any interest in message boards up until that point because I didn’t really get the appeal. I was big into reading blogs but never read the comments, and assumed that message boards were kind of like that. I think we were on a trip or something and I started reading a couple of threads and got hooked on following the snarky replies to randos popping in. I also liked all the drama threads that happened everywhere on the bump and would get bat signaled. I didn’t come out of lurker status until the babies were a couple months old (I think, maybe they were a month old? Idk). I was scared to post while we were still KU because I was afraid the regs would run me off the board. They didn’t love new people, especially at the end of pregnancy.

[flamingo]

Kind of like guster , I think I initially created an account to track baby size, etc. Then when I had all my issues in the summer, I was in bed a lot and had a ton of time on my hands so I started lurking more on the N13 board (that is also when I discovered blogs, lol). It was mostly for entertainment value and I don't remember participating much. I don't recall really joining in posting, etc. until B was several months old.

The only other message board I'm a member of is a paid one for Gator football, and I mostly just read and very occasionally comment. I know some of the members there have met up at games/tailgates, which is cool; I'm definitely in the (major) minority as a female poster. It's a fun group, though.

[jewels]

hmmm I find it interesting that so far everyone who posts now was not active until after the babies were born. I wonder why all the original people left?

[klong11]

wedding and cagoldi were originals. I think melaniesue was as well.

[vino]

I was looking for what size the baby was and found the Bump and immediately went to the BMB's. I tried babycentre canada for a while and that was HORRIBLE, I couldnt relate at all. I dont remember when I became a regular poster but I was on enough that I was called to the next board we went to...what was that? TCF? I can't even remember.

I remember my first post and it was to a loss thread, i said something like, sorry for your loss and something along the lines of it'll happen when it's meant to (admittedly now a poor choice of words). And the poster than was living in India climbing up mountains to go to school or sumshit ripped into me about my choice of words. She was so unnecessarily condescending it turned me way off. I then lurked for a long time and cannot remember when I started posting again.

I noticed a lot of the regular posters stopped posting within the first year of the babies being born and thank goodness, there were some that were more than awful and I rolled my eyes so fucking hard at their choice of words and how much they liked themselves, must have been amazing to know everything.

[flamingo]

vino yes, there were some real winners. We've lost some great posters but then others I was not sorry to see go. There were several (a bunch) that seemed to just love the drama and being unnecessarily mean. I do wonder what happened to some of them (the mean ones...some of the nice ones I'm friends with on FB:)

[mwhip]

I joined the bump during my 3rd tri, when my joints in my fingers started sticking and I had googled things to help with it. I think I posted in the 3rd tri board once or twice and got good responses. I didn't even realize there were BMBs at that time. Then when I returned to work from maternity leave in January, I found our BMB and I think I just started posting. I think by that point, people had either chilled or the mean ones had mostly left because I don't recall ever getting snark directed at me, although I did read a lot directed toward others. This was my first and only board. I still feel kind of weird saying 'my mom's board group/friends.'

[trtlcrzy]

Jan 13, 2020 13:31:41 GMT -6 jewels said:

hmmm I find it interesting that so far everyone who posts now was not active until after the babies were born. I wonder why all the original people left?

I think they all abandoned ship for a secret Facebook group that they all still participate in. One time(not that long ago) Kama posted in our fb group about going on a date on accident, before she ever told us she was getting a divorce, and said something about posting on the wrong group.

[trtlcrzy]

Jan 13, 2020 13:49:07 GMT -6 vino said:

I was looking for what size the baby was and found the Bump and immediately went to the BMB's. I tried babycentre canada for a while and that was HORRIBLE, I couldnt relate at all. I dont remember when I became a regular poster but I was on enough that I was called to the next board we went to...what was that? TCF? I can't even remember.

I remember my first post and it was to a loss thread, i said something like, sorry for your loss and something along the lines of it'll happen when it's meant to (admittedly now a poor choice of words). And the poster than was living in India climbing up mountains to go to school or sumshit ripped into me about my choice of words. She was so unnecessarily condescending it turned me way off. I then lurked for a long time and cannot remember when I started posting again.

I noticed a lot of the regular posters stopped posting within the first year of the babies being born and thank goodness, there were some that were more than awful and I rolled my eyes so fucking hard at their choice of words and how much they liked themselves, must have been amazing to know everything.

I remember joking about moving to the Caribbean together while we were still on tb.

ETA: I think that poster’s name was Estrella something. She was strange.

[lahdeedah]

I joined TB after I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know there were message boards at first. I really just wanted information and advice about what the next 9 months were going to be. My job at the time was traveling all over central Florida so every day I had at least 1hour or more to kill and eventually found the BMBs. I didn’t click on all the threads or paid attention to intros because I didn’t understand the whole message board process. I never paid attention to who was who and who said what or ever remember a bunch of drama. I know I first posted in response to someone saying what helped them with morning sickness and I was met with a nasty response basically saying talk your doctor before trying ANYTHING. I noped right back into lurkdom.

After we had the kids and I was at home so much, I think the group got smaller and I followed enough to start paying attention to personal stories and poster names and the kids. I came out during a lurker call out right before our babies turned 1. I felt comfortable enough and really wanted to participate. I didn’t have a lot of support where we were or IRL friends who were going through the same things.

Also, a few months after I joined I got into the private board and there was some drama thread and I remember thinking that I had no clue anything went down or that there were beefs between posters. What planet was I on?

I, too, wonder if we have lurkers. New or old.

[vino]

Yes trtlcrzy ! Our winters bonded us! I think we should revisit the pipe dream, cause this is me right now, and I’d rather be on a beach

[lahdeedah]

I still wonder if anything happened to the poster from the NE who was a peds NICU nurse- I think. I can’t remember her name- purple flowers are coming to me for some reason, but I think her N13’s name was Henry.

It’s just so weird how she just vanished from the board without explanation. I don’t think she posted every day, but it was often enough. She would even post pics.

[flamingo]

Jan 13, 2020 17:01:45 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

I still wonder if anything happened to the poster from the NE who was a peds NICU nurse- I think. I can’t remember her name- purple flowers are coming to me for some reason, but I think her N13’s name was Henry.

It’s just so weird how she just vanished from the board without explanation. I don’t think she posted every day, but it was often enough. She would even post pics.

Oh I liked her a lot! Lilac-something maybe? I wanna say it was when we made the switch to HIH from TCF maybe? Or did she dip out before that?

She had a Caroline, too, that played tennis--I think she was a couple years older than the N13. And yes, Henry sounds right. 

[trtlcrzy]

Jan 13, 2020 17:05:11 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Jan 13, 2020 17:01:45 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

I still wonder if anything happened to the poster from the NE who was a peds NICU nurse- I think. I can’t remember her name- purple flowers are coming to me for some reason, but I think her N13’s name was Henry.

It’s just so weird how she just vanished from the board without explanation. I don’t think she posted every day, but it was often enough. She would even post pics.

Oh I liked her a lot! Lilac-something maybe? I wanna say it was when we made the switch to HIH from TCF maybe? Or did she dip out before that?

She had a Caroline, too, that played tennis--I think she was a couple years older than the N13. And yes, Henry sounds right. 

She disappeared a before we made the move.

[trtlcrzy]

vino it’s not quite that cold here, but we are apparently having some freezing rain right now. I just avoid going outside, unless I have to.

[wineallthetime]

I lurked after having C, mostly MOTN. I honestly would have joined earlier but had a co-worker who had a baby at the same time who mentioned a message board and I didn't want to join somewhere she was reading. I finally commented when our N13's were like 14mo old. I had pushback from a few but overall a very nice welcome!

[jewels]

Jan 13, 2020 16:23:34 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

Jan 13, 2020 13:31:41 GMT -6 jewels said:

hmmm I find it interesting that so far everyone who posts now was not active until after the babies were born. I wonder why all the original people left?

I think they all abandoned ship for a secret Facebook group that they all still participate in. One time(not that long ago) Kama posted in our fb group about going on a date on accident, before she ever told us she was getting a divorce, and said something about posting on the wrong group.

Kama that was trying to be a surrogate? I thought she was happily married ? I totally missed that.

Well if all the not so nice people left for a secret Facebook group I guess it’s good cuz they left this here for us

[flamingo]

Jan 13, 2020 18:41:46 GMT -6 jewels said:

Jan 13, 2020 16:23:34 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

I think they all abandoned ship for a secret Facebook group that they all still participate in. One time(not that long ago) Kama posted in our fb group about going on a date on accident, before she ever told us she was getting a divorce, and said something about posting on the wrong group.

Kama that was trying to be a surrogate? I thought she was happily married ? I totally missed that.

Well if all the not so nice people left for a secret Facebook group I guess it’s good cuz they left this here for us

Yes I was (am?) FB friends with her but haven't seen anything from her lately. Sorry to hear she's going thru a divorce. 

[trtlcrzy]

Jan 13, 2020 18:41:46 GMT -6 jewels said:

Jan 13, 2020 16:23:34 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

I think they all abandoned ship for a secret Facebook group that they all still participate in. One time(not that long ago) Kama posted in our fb group about going on a date on accident, before she ever told us she was getting a divorce, and said something about posting on the wrong group.

Kama that was trying to be a surrogate? I thought she was happily married ? I totally missed that.

Well if all the not so nice people left for a secret Facebook group I guess it’s good cuz they left this here for us

Yep. I’m not sure if her divorce is final or not but she is actively dating.

[chrisy01]

I lurked during our 1st and 2nd trimester because I was working so much and most of the board was not active when I was able to. I intro-ed 3rd tri and semi regularly posted after babies were born.

What I remember the most from TB was Cher ‘s stories that her maid would tell about the missing airplane and such.

I also remember the mistress who posted her outlandish nursery and didn’t understands everyone’s issues with it or her blog. That was some fun reads on the middle of the night.

[lahdeedah]

Jan 13, 2020 17:05:11 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Jan 13, 2020 17:01:45 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

I still wonder if anything happened to the poster from the NE who was a peds NICU nurse- I think. I can’t remember her name- purple flowers are coming to me for some reason, but I think her N13’s name was Henry.

It’s just so weird how she just vanished from the board without explanation. I don’t think she posted every day, but it was often enough. She would even post pics.

Oh I liked her a lot! Lilac-something maybe? I wanna say it was when we made the switch to HIH from TCF maybe? Or did she dip out before that?

She had a Caroline, too, that played tennis--I think she was a couple years older than the N13. And yes, Henry sounds right. 

Ding- ding! Lilac. That’s why the purple flowers were coming to mind. Yep all of that sounds right.

[wedding]

I used the Knot to help with planning my wedding in RI from Boston so I had joined the local community for vendor info. It was all informational. When I wanted to get pregnant I googled some stuff and the bump came up. I saw it was affiliated with the knot so I figured it would be a good place to start. I never imagined I would be active in the community. I had never been in an online group prior and this is still my only one.

I joined prior to getting pregnant and was one of the first people on N13. I never imagined I would be here almost 7 years later with these great friends!