Finally Friday

[klong11]

Mar 8, 2019 11:18:54 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Mar 8, 2019 11:05:12 GMT -6 klong11 said:

Today is my 7 year wedding anniversary. As far as I know we aren't doing anything. Mh has the day off work. He's at home sleeping off his binge drinking of last night. He's gotten smarter in that he doesn't do it around me, still not smart enough to not drive home when inebriated. Please don't @ me on how dangerous that is. Trust me, I know.

My brother is the same. I keep telling my dad its wrong, but I wish he would get in an accident. Not hurt anyone else. But total his truck, maybe break an arm. We can tell him until we're blue in the face and it does nothing. He needs a wake up call.

I'm hoping for a DUI at some point. He has also known since Day 1 of us dating that if he ever gets taken in don't call me because I will not bail his ass out.

[klong11]

Mar 8, 2019 11:20:43 GMT -6 jewels said:

sorry klong11 . Not a fun way to spend your anniversary.

I recall you said you don't drink. Did you drink when you and YH first met? Or did he not but started later? No need to answer if I'm prying. I just just feel like you usually see more... parity? Not sure if that's the right word, but I feel like most of the couples I know are more similar in their drinking habits (ie both fairly big drinkers, both occasional drinkers, etc), at least when they start out.

I feel like I am rambling. Sorry if I pried too much, you can tell me to F off.

I stopped drinking when we started trying to get pregnant and just never went back to it. I'll have to occasional drink, but not at home or around Cadence and not to the point that he does. 1 is usually my limit.

[peachsmama]

Mar 8, 2019 11:40:56 GMT -6 klong11 said:

Mar 8, 2019 11:18:54 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

My brother is the same. I keep telling my dad its wrong, but I wish he would get in an accident. Not hurt anyone else. But total his truck, maybe break an arm. We can tell him until we're blue in the face and it does nothing. He needs a wake up call.

I'm hoping for a DUI at some point. He has also known since Day 1 of us dating that if he ever gets taken in don't call me because I will not bail his ass out.

I dont know that a DUI would be enough for my brother. Maybe the yellow tags would.

[nam2013]

klong11 I’m sorry that does not sounds like a nice way to spend your anniversary 😔.

[klong11]

Mar 8, 2019 12:15:44 GMT -6 nam2013 said:

klong11 I’m sorry that does not sounds like a nice way to spend your anniversary 😔.

He'll be fine by the time I get off work.

[wedding]

Mar 8, 2019 11:18:54 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Mar 8, 2019 11:05:12 GMT -6 klong11 said:

Today is my 7 year wedding anniversary. As far as I know we aren't doing anything. Mh has the day off work. He's at home sleeping off his binge drinking of last night. He's gotten smarter in that he doesn't do it around me, still not smart enough to not drive home when inebriated. Please don't @ me on how dangerous that is. Trust me, I know.

My brother is the same. I keep telling my dad its wrong, but I wish he would get in an accident. Not hurt anyone else. But total his truck, maybe break an arm. We can tell him until we're blue in the face and it does nothing. He needs a wake up call.

If he has an actual drinking problem, an accident is likely not going to help. May even cause a further spiral.

Also during this last relapse I drove while drunk a couple of times. I knew it was wrong but the desire to get drunk was stronger. PDQ

[peachsmama]

Mar 8, 2019 12:22:00 GMT -6 wedding said:

Mar 8, 2019 11:18:54 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

My brother is the same. I keep telling my dad its wrong, but I wish he would get in an accident. Not hurt anyone else. But total his truck, maybe break an arm. We can tell him until we're blue in the face and it does nothing. He needs a wake up call.

If he has an actual drinking problem, an accident is likely not going to help. May even cause a further spiral.

poofed your details

I dont know that hes an alcoholic. He just thinks hes invincible and has that "oh itll never happen to me" attitude. And would never admit to friends that he cant have a drink because he had to drive. That apparently, shows weakness.

[cagoldi]

Mar 8, 2019 7:46:16 GMT -6 nam2013 said:

cagoldi how did the eval go yesterday?

Whew. It was...involved.

So X is definitely going to transition to public preschool for special education in the Fall. We will have more evaluations in June so they can get their school therapists to work on his IEP.

We came to sort of a middle ground WRT the social/emotional/behavioral disagreement we were having. The school psychologist agreed ABA is inappropriate, so they said for now they want to try play therapy which just consists of someone coming here and working with me and X. I’m amenable to that, but they want to do this eight hours a week. And that’s on top of PT/ST twice a week and OT once a week.

He might be at the same school as Dude, or he might have to go to the school across town. There are two in the district with special education preschool, and they will try to keep him at the one closest to us and where his siblings will be, but it just kind of depends where they think he will fit in best given his current needs. He can also only go half days.

So, this is the plan of attack:

We’re taking Poppy out of DC. My mom will watch her, and shuttle X to his visits. I will have to adjust my schedule with flextime to accommodate the eight hours/week they want for his play therapy. I need my mom’s extra help until I can quit at the end of the year. I’m not 100% sure I will be leaving the workforce at that time, but it’s looking pretty likely. It sounds untenable to keep working.

So, that was a lot. The details are still being worked out, but that’s what we’ve come up with since yesterday afternoon.

[tgrimes]

cagoldi damn, that's a lot. I'm glad your mom is able to help out.

[cagoldi]

xolastunicornxo I agree that an alarm sounds good. Thank Dog he arrived safely at your friend’s. So scary.

Hope everything works out with your H’s new course of treatment, yummeecookee.

[cagoldi]

Mar 8, 2019 12:46:32 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

cagoldi damn, that's a lot. I'm glad your mom is able to help out.

Yeah, we’d be really out of luck otherwise. X is perfectly content with her and I’m going to pay her what we pay for Poppy to go to DC. I clearly can’t afford both, so that’s why the whole thing necessitates pulling P from school for awhile.

I’m not concerned about it at her age because she’s got her brothers to socialize with, and my mom is going to sign her up for swim and some other classes to keep her busy and have some exposure to other kids and adults.

[xolastunicornxo]

Thanks everyone. I picked up those door alarms at Home Depot today and Shaun is going to instal them tonight.

cagoldi that is A LOT!! I’m glad your mom can help.

@klongoria happy anniversary. I’m sorry you H is making poor choices. I drove drunk in college way more than I would like to admit and I am so grateful I didn’t hurt anyone or get a dui.

[nam2013]

cagoldi my goodness that is a lot. It’s great that your mom can help & P also has her brothers for social skills ☺️. X is a lucky boy to have such an amazing advocate as his mom.

[wedding]

cagoldi, that is a lot to digest. You are such an awesome advocate for him and I am glad it seems like there is a good plan in place.

[jewels]

Wow cagoldi - that's a lot to digest but it sounds like you have a great plan in place to handle it all. That's great that your mom is able to help out.

[mwhip]

cagoldi That's great your mom is able to help! I wouldn't worry about P's socialization. Evie had never been in a larger daycare, even when she was in DC, which was an in home one, it was her and one other boy. The first few days of preschool were difficult with her shyness, but she has done so well and I love hearing her talk about her 'school besties.' Kids are so resilient and can change so much easier than we can.

[mwhip]

Happy Anniversary klong11. I hope you have a good night.

[mwhip]

jewels I totally understand what you are saying about drinking together vs being opposites on it. My ex and I were total drinking opposites...he would go out and have 1 or 2 drinks while I drank EVERYTHING. He would stay home and I'd go to the bar by myself. It led to leading completely separate lives, different sets of friends, etc.

Now H and I have similar drinking habits, I would have a hard time being with someone who drank either much less or much more than I do. But that's me and I understand what does and doesn't work for me in a relationship.

[vino]

I'm so happy that your Mom is able to help out cagoldi, and it sounds like you've got a solid plan in place with all the information presented to you guys. As per, you're kick ass.

[cagoldi]

Thanks, girls.

I’m feeling stressed, but also relieved that we have a firm idea of how things are going to be moving forward. And of course, very grateful my mom is willing and able to be my extra set of hands. The kids love her, she’s great with them, and she always defers to me. It’s very helpful that we have the same approach to parenting and there are no power struggles, which I know is a challenge with family sometimes.

The difficulty I’m having is seeing myself as a SAHM. I loved it on mat leave, so I guess I could love it again. I’ve worked since I was sixteen, and the thought of relying on Pete financially makes me so uncomfortable. He’s excellent about it, it’s just my personal hang up that I need to work on getting over.

[kim22]

xolastunicornxo how scary, glad he picked your friend’s house to go to.

chrisy01 I’m sorry that job didn’t work out. I hope you get a position you deserve soon.

cagoldi You figured things out quickly. Maybe P not being in daycare will mean illness in your house for a while at least.

lahdeedah I hope you made it to the house and you love it and inspection doesn’t uncover anything big.

[jewels]

Mar 8, 2019 15:07:28 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Thanks, girls.

I’m feeling stressed, but also relieved that we have a firm idea of how things are going to be moving forward. And of course, very grateful my mom is willing and able to be my extra set of hands. The kids love her, she’s great with them, and she always defers to me. It’s very helpful that we have the same approach to parenting and there are no power struggles, which I know is a challenge with family sometimes.

The difficulty I’m having is seeing myself as a SAHM. I loved it on mat leave, so I guess I could love it again. I’ve worked since I was sixteen, and the thought of relying on Pete financially makes me so uncomfortable. He’s excellent about it, it’s just my personal hang up that I need to work on getting over.

This.  So much this.  With everything going on at my job and w/ MH gone so much, we have briefly discussed me taking a break and staying home for a while with the kids.  He has never made me feel this way, but it is so hard for me to even entertain the thought of not making my own money and being dependent on him.  I mean, we still don't even combine all our money as it is.  It would be such a weird feeling!

For a number of reasons, not just this one, we have decided at this time that it is not the right choice for our family.  But I can see if I was in your shoes how it would just make sense.

[xolastunicornxo]

Mar 8, 2019 13:54:11 GMT -6 mwhip said:

jewels I totally understand what you are saying about drinking together vs being opposites on it. My ex and I were total drinking opposites...he would go out and have 1 or 2 drinks while I drank EVERYTHING. He would stay home and I'd go to the bar by myself. It led to leading completely separate lives, different sets of friends, etc.

Now H and I have similar drinking habits, I would have a hard time being with someone who drank either much less or much more than I do. But that's me and I understand what does and doesn't work for me in a relationship.

Exact same. (Except for the ex). Shaun and I are definitely on the same page. We both love craft beer and good wine, we love to have fun, but neither of us enjoys drinking to excess or getting sloppy.

[peachsmama]

*whispering so the universe doesnt hear* final inspection is next week.....

[wedding]

Mar 8, 2019 15:30:13 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

*whispering so the universe doesnt hear* final inspection is next week.....

Does that mean you would move in?!

[tgrimes]

Mar 8, 2019 15:30:13 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

*whispering so the universe doesnt hear* final inspection is next week.....

[peachsmama]

Mar 8, 2019 15:47:51 GMT -6 wedding said:

Mar 8, 2019 15:30:13 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

*whispering so the universe doesnt hear* final inspection is next week.....

Does that mean you would move in?!

As soon as we can! Cleaners are trying to squeeze us in next week and a painter to do our staircase and the walls there since I dont trust myself to stain or be on a ladder at the moment. I didnt want until the last minute- the company i had scheduled fell through. So hopefully the following week!

[peachsmama]

Mar 8, 2019 15:50:12 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Mar 8, 2019 15:30:13 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

*whispering so the universe doesnt hear* final inspection is next week.....

I laughed out loud. It seriously feels that long. For you all to I'm sure 😂

[wedding]

So my Dr finally called back after the receptionist passed on to the director that she hasn’t responded to me. It wasn’t a great conversation and I’m pretty sure I need to find a new Dr. her excuse for not calling back is that she has another full time job and agreed to work there one day a week and didn’t expect to be on call 24/7. Isn’t that the nature of the business though? Lame excuse but she said she would be checking messages daily now.

She did add another medication so I’m hoping that will provide relief. I see her a week from Monday and depending on how that goes I will decide if I need to find someone else. I probably should. It’s just hard to start over again.

I don’t feel like she fully understands addiction. She wanted to prescribe me a benzodiazepine for anxiety (ex: Xanax, lorazepam). I had told her before that I abused these during my relapse. When I declined again today saying I worry about abusing them again she says “well I would only prescribe a couple of weeks worth. Not enough to abuse them”. I had to explain to her how I would get a month prescription and finish them in five days so any quantity aside from one dose could lead to abuse. I don’t feel like I’m going to relapse again but I don’t want that temptation. It’s playing with Fire.

Pdq

[wedding]

Also I feel like all my Drs suck ass lately. I get out in antibiotics for a tooth infection I don’t have, then get a yeast infection from the antibiotics, now I’m constipated which is a side effect of the yeast infection med. TMI sorry!