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Post by hufflepug on Jun 22, 2017 19:13:19 GMT -6
DD is 9.5 months and she does. not. sleep. The longest she'll sleep in her own bed is about half an hour. If we bedshare, she will do 2-3 hours. She is getting more mobile and bedsharing no longer feels safe. Plus, I just want my damn bed back.
We have tried the No Cry Sleep Solution. I helped a little and got us from 0 minutes in her own bed to 30. Her pedi was no help and just kind of laughed and shrugged it off.I am at the point where I kind of want to let her CIO, but she is a tension increaser and I worry she'll scream for hours and we still won't get anywhere. Any advice? I haven't had more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep in months and don't really know what to do.
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Post by onesweetworld on Jun 23, 2017 3:50:30 GMT -6
🤗no advice but just wanted to send hugs
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Post by requiressnacks on Jun 23, 2017 4:06:57 GMT -6
DD is 9.5 months and she does. not. sleep. The longest she'll sleep in her own bed is about half an hour. If we bedshare, she will do 2-3 hours. She is getting more mobile and bedsharing no longer feels safe. Plus, I just want my damn bed back. We have tried the No Cry Sleep Solution. I helped a little and got us from 0 minutes in her own bed to 30. Her pedi was no help and just kind of laughed and shrugged it off.I am at the point where I kind of want to let her CIO, but she is a tension increaser and I worry she'll scream for hours and we still won't get anywhere. Any advice? I haven't had more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep in months and don't really know what to do. I have 7.5 month old twins that sleep 7pm-6am with no wake ups. They were always good sleepers, but we had a hard transition out of RocknPlays to cribs. At 6 months, I read Ferbers book (very helpful!) and we did His CIO method. It was the best thing I ever did. It took 3 nights for them to be fully trained. Every baby is different, so I'm sure you'll find a method that works for you. But you do need to fully commit and get your partner on board 100%.
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cmb
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Post by cmb on Jun 23, 2017 4:38:50 GMT -6
Every baby is different. That said, we did a gentle cry it out method with DS1 to cut down on night waking- we would let him fuss for 5 minutes. If he escalated to full blown screaming, we would go in, soothe, and repeat. If he just kept fussing, the first time we'd go in and replace a pacifier at 5 minutes. We'd then extend the time. We did that for a week and eliminated night time wake ups. He was somewhere around 5 or 6 months. We had a rough time with the 8 month regression, but other than that, no problems
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ellabee
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Post by ellabee on Jun 23, 2017 6:41:25 GMT -6
Oh boy that sounds rough. I'm so so sorry your LO can't manage to get with the sleep program.
I agree that it sounds like a good time to implement some training.
We did Ferber with DD. I thought she was a tension increaser too, but turns out it worked really well for her. Like Snacks, it took about 3 days, but it was so worth it.
I found the book pretty informative and quick to read (who has time for a novel?!). Even if you're not ready for training it gives some good explanations behind the science of sleep which was helpful.
My biggest piece of advice is whatever your plan, get your partner 100% onboard.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jun 23, 2017 7:42:13 GMT -6
hufflepug Why is she waking up? Hungry? Just to say hi? Around 11ish months, Dh started handling MOTN wake ups. And he started a gentle CIO. Both the girls just wanted to snuggle/hang out with me. Eventually they figured out it was always gonna be daddy that came to check on them and they stopped MOTN wake ups.
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jun 23, 2017 7:45:19 GMT -6
*snippet* My biggest piece of advice is whatever your plan, get your partner 100% onboard. +1!
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Post by hufflepug on Jun 23, 2017 7:56:07 GMT -6
hufflepug Why is she waking up? Hungry? Just to say hi? Around 11ish months, Dh started handling MOTN wake ups. And he started a gentle CIO. Both the girls just wanted to snuggle/hang out with me. Eventually they figured out it was always gonna be daddy that came to check on them and they stopped MOTN wake ups. I think it's a little separation anxiety? I try to put her down awake but drowsy and as soon as her little head hits the mattress she is up and screaming. For a variety of reasons that I'm not even going to go into here, H does not and has never taken a MOTN shift. So I guess I'm the only person who has to be on board. ETA she also doesn't self soothe well. We're working on it. She tends to wake up every time she rolls over and then realizes she is alone and freaks out. She goes from 0 to heart pounding, heavy breathing panic in under two minutes
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jun 23, 2017 8:01:49 GMT -6
hufflepug Why is she waking up? Hungry? Just to say hi? Around 11ish months, Dh started handling MOTN wake ups. And he started a gentle CIO. Both the girls just wanted to snuggle/hang out with me. Eventually they figured out it was always gonna be daddy that came to check on them and they stopped MOTN wake ups. I think it's a little separation anxiety? I try to put her down awaken but drowsy and as soon as her little head hits the mattress she is up and screaming. For a variety of reasons that I'm not even going to go into here, H does not and has never taken a MOTN shift. So I guess I'm the only person who has to be on board. That sucks. I'm sorry Yh can't/won't get on board. For a while, SIL would lay in the crib with her Dd and sneak out. Desperate times, yo.
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Post by littlelion on Jun 23, 2017 8:46:05 GMT -6
I think it's a little separation anxiety? I try to put her down awaken but drowsy and as soon as her little head hits the mattress she is up and screaming. For a variety of reasons that I'm not even going to go into here, H does not and has never taken a MOTN shift. So I guess I'm the only person who has to be on board. That sucks. I'm sorry Yh can't/won't get on board. For a while, SIL would lay in the crib with her Dd and sneak out. Desperate times, yo. lol
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Post by moutonrouge on Jun 23, 2017 10:03:28 GMT -6
I would make sure your DH is on board so he doesn't mess with things if she's crying for an hour. Even if he's never gotten up, that might spur him to do something.
DD is 3.5 months but we do have a set bedtime and let her cry a bit if she isn't settling. After 5 min, DH will go shush and pat for a few minutes. Once he leaves, I give her 10 min before I go back in to nurse her.
I try to do awake but drowsy at naps, but it's hard to achieve that at bedtime so she's usually deep asleep when I put her down.
Do you think something that smells like you hanging near the crib (or a lovey in the crib, if you're comfortable with that) might help her settle? You could also try a white noise like ocean waves that might sound more like your heartbeat.
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Post by hufflepug on Jun 23, 2017 10:20:35 GMT -6
I would make sure your DH is on board so he doesn't mess with things if she's crying for an hour. Even if he's never gotten up, that might spur him to do something. DD is 3.5 months but we do have a set bedtime and let her cry a bit if she isn't settling. After 5 min, DH will go shush and pat for a few minutes. Once he leaves, I give her 10 min before I go back in to nurse her. I try to do awake but drowsy at naps, but it's hard to achieve that at bedtime so she's usually deep asleep when I put her down. Do you think something that smells like you hanging near the crib (or a lovey in the crib, if you're comfortable with that) might help her settle? You could also try a white noise like ocean waves that might sound more like your heartbeat. We have a lovey and a white noise machine going all night.
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
Posts: 2,971 Likes: 10,175
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Post by Risscaboobs on Jun 23, 2017 19:14:37 GMT -6
We're still bedsharing at 19 months, so no advice here haha. But getzystark just had amazing success, so she may be able to help.
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Post by getzystark on Jun 23, 2017 20:32:51 GMT -6
We used a sleep consultant and she is AMAZING. She will do phone and email consultations with full sleep plans. We went from no way no how would she even sleep in a crib to sleeping 12 hours a night. Sleep consultants are MAGIC. PM me if you'd like her contact info.
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Post by mikaela20 on Jun 23, 2017 20:39:03 GMT -6
hufflepug this is my baby. Ds is 4 months old and we are having the same struggles. My H also doesn't handle motn wake ups so I moved myself into the nursery to make it easier on me. I have no advice but I'm working with a sleep consultant in July so if I learn anything new I will come back to share. Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
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koritto
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Post by koritto on Jun 24, 2017 17:47:00 GMT -6
About 8 months is where I gave into sleep training. She basically slept through the night from 6 weeks to 6 months when object permanence set in. Nursing to sleep became the problem our doctor and nurses warned us about. For 2 months I kept hoping she would get it but she didn't. I would nurse her and lay her down completely asleep which is similar to falling asleep in your bed and waking up on the kitchen floor. She needed me to get through each sleep cycle (which is 30-45 minutes).
For a month we tried gentle sleep training which helped alittle but gentle methods are typically for younger babies (patting, shushing, pick up put down etc) 9 months exactly we did exctintion. Night 1 she cried 45 minutes night 2 -22 minutes and not at all night 3.
I highly recommend learning about sleep training before starting. What amount of sleep is normal for babies, total sleep needed, proper awake and nap times. For example, we max out at 13-13.5 hours total sleep. Which equals out to 10-10.5 night time and 3 hours of naps. Not all babies can do 12 hours and I learned that's ok with good solid naps. Consistent awake time is just as important as bedtime. You want to start and end you days the same. Bedtime routines are key as well because it signals sleep time.
Sleep has clearly become my hill. I highly recommend the Facebook group precious little sleep - they are beyond helpful and will help you troubleshoot too.
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Post by mikaela20 on Jun 25, 2017 1:41:05 GMT -6
koritto what do you mean by start and end the day the same? Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
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koritto
Bronze
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Post by koritto on Jun 25, 2017 5:27:17 GMT -6
koritto what do you mean by start and end the day the same? Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk Usually you only hear that a consistent bedtime is important but morning wake time is too. It allows you to get on a schedule and their circadian rhythm to be established.
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Post by mikaela20 on Jun 25, 2017 6:17:02 GMT -6
koritto what do you mean by start and end the day the same? Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk Usually you only hear that a consistent bedtime is important but morning wake time is too. It allows you to get on a schedule and their circadian rhythm to be established. Oh ok I get it now, that makes sense. I struggle with the morning wake up time being the same. It's usually within the hour though. But when ds sleeps in its so nice to get the extra sleep too. Of course, then I screw myself for bedtime. Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
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jftb
Gold
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Post by jftb on Jun 26, 2017 6:42:39 GMT -6
A is 9 months old this week and we started sleep training at about 6.5 months. I waited until she gave up on eating in the middle of the night. She was also waking up every 45 minutes unless I was holding her. I spent many nights sleeping in the glider holding her just to get a stretch of sleep.
I worked with a sleep consultant and did a modified version of CIO. I thought she was going to be the baby that cried for 1.5 hours until she finally caught on. Luckily, she surprised us and once she was down, she was down for the night. I never had to go back into the room in the middle of the night. She was trained by the fourth night. She now sleeps anywhere between 10-11 hour stretches at night, but usually closer to 10 hours (she gets in some good naps during the day).
I do think she's currently going through a sleep regression right now though because it's taking her about 20 minutes to settle down at night and last night, she woke up at 3:30 a.m. and blew raspberries until she finally fell back to sleep.
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Post by hufflepug on Jul 7, 2017 21:29:58 GMT -6
We tried letting her CIO for the first time tonight. It was 2 hours of hysterical crying with H checking on her periodically. She ended up puking through every sheet we have and is now in bed with me. It feels like this is never going to get better.
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Post by requiressnacks on Jul 8, 2017 3:55:54 GMT -6
We tried letting her CIO for the first time tonight. It was 2 hours of hysterical crying with H checking on her periodically. She ended up puking through every sheet we have and is now in bed with me. It feels like this is never going to get better. Wow. That is terrible. I'm sorry for her and you. 😔 ETA.... tonight will be better. Hang in there.
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jul 8, 2017 7:15:46 GMT -6
hufflepug it will get better. Fx tonight is better.
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jftb
Gold
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Post by jftb on Jul 10, 2017 7:14:02 GMT -6
We tried letting her CIO for the first time tonight. It was 2 hours of hysterical crying with H checking on her periodically. She ended up puking through every sheet we have and is now in bed with me. It feels like this is never going to get better. I don't know your financial situation, but hiring a sleep consultant was some of the best money I ever spent. It was $135 for an hour phone consultation. I was also able to email her follow up questions as situations arised.
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Post by pibblemom on Jul 11, 2017 7:45:19 GMT -6
I do not know if this would even be relevant, but I feel it's worth mentioning. My DD STTN until the 4 mo regression. She still wasn't awful as long as she was swaddled, but it came time we had to drop the swaddle. She would NOT sleep without it unless it was in her rnp. I bought this to try. www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00KI02IRA/ref=ya_aw_od_pi?ie=UTF8&psc=1&th=1It truly is magic, and goes up to 9 months size. My DD had been unswaddled with only 1-2 MOTN wakeups since we put her in it last week. I'm hoping it gets even better, and she starts STTN again, but for the first time ever she's able to go to bed drowsy but awake.
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Post by mikaela20 on Jul 11, 2017 17:49:10 GMT -6
We are day 2 of sleep training my 4.5 month old ds with a sleep consultant. First night was the hardest and I balled my eyes out but he got himself to sleep after 1.5hrs. Tonight it took him only 30 mins. My heart still hurts with letting him cry for any amount of time but I know it's for his benefit in the end. We use a sleep plan based on my comfort level. It's a modified version of cio using the pick up/put down method for 3 minute long checks when consistent crying happens- I go in at specific intervals of time. We sleep coach for both naps and bedtime because both are connected. Her blog has lots of interesting knowledge on sleep. www.weebeedreaming.com/my-blog/Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jul 12, 2017 5:57:46 GMT -6
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Post by hufflepug on Jul 12, 2017 6:28:14 GMT -6
Thank you for asking! I feel like we're making progress. We backed off of straight CIO because it just wasn't going to work for my kid right now. So now I put her down in her crib awake but drowsy, and hold her hand through the crib slats while she fusses herself to sleep and then I sneak out. It's been taking less than 10 minutes. Last night she was in her own bed from 7:40-4. I think she woke up four or five times in there, so I went in, laid her back down, and held her hand until she was asleep again. I'm hoping as this becomes more routine for her, the amount of time between wakings will lengthen out.
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Post by lildiamondeyes on Jul 12, 2017 6:53:24 GMT -6
Thank you for asking! I feel like we're making progress. We backed off of straight CIO because it just wasn't going to work for my kid right now. So now I put her down in her crib awake but drowsy, and hold her hand through the crib slats while she fusses herself to sleep and then I sneak out. It's been taking less than 10 minutes. Last night she was in her own bed from 7:40-4. I think she woke up four or five times in there, so I went in, laid her back down, and held her hand until she was asleep again. I'm hoping as this becomes more routine for her, the amount of time between wakings will lengthen out. Yay for progress! So glad something is working for you.
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Post by littlelion on Jul 12, 2017 13:56:53 GMT -6
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