Those living in red states...

[sctiger]

Who else is with me?

I live in South Carolina, and in the most reliably Republican area of the state. We certainly have liberal friends but it's not always easy to find. There are always Republicans around and in these times I am strongly opposed to getting close with anyone still identifying as Republican because it's a sign of their character. It's hard to escape them. We are liberal Episcopalians and are also tired of the overly religious Southern Baptist/mega church culture. It just feels like we are an anomaly and I find myself getting down about it more and more as people in this area still support Trump.

Can anyone else relate? I've often said that we wouldn't live here if it weren't for family two hours away. We've often fantasized about moving to a purple or blue state or city (like Raleigh) because we want to make sure our daughters have a positive environment in which to grow up. Perhaps that is overly dramatic and extra but I have really been having a hard time knowing we're surrounded by assholes.

[enchanted]

I live in a fairly liberal city but it is a blue dot in a deep red state and my part of the city is more red purple than the rest. I quit talking to a lot.ofnpeople from our old playgroup because I couldn't handle it anymore.

We don't go to church at all but I know what you mean about the culture. A common ice breaker when we meet new people is them asking where we go to church and when we answer that we don't, far too many get pushy about their church.

We have been lucky to find quite a few like-minded people, but like I said, our city is fairly liberal. Even so, I fantasize about leaving and heading to a blue state. We don't have family here. We moved here because of my husband's job, so while we would miss friends, moving is always a possibility if the right opportunity comes along.

[jkjacq]

👋
I don’t church and most don’t ask because they assume you’re lds or lapsed lds.

I choose to try and keep random not close peoples politics out of my life because I’m fairly social and at this point in this climate would like to stay out of jail. Listening to a irl person extol the virtues of the current administration would send me on a rampage.
I live in a highly privileged area so most are pretty apathetic when it comes to politics.

My close friends know where I stand and I’m fine with that

I haven’t considered moving because all my family is within four miles

[honeylemon]

Hey!

We recently moved from SC to AL. We were in Greenville and our friend group was strongly liberal. I absolutely loved it there but I realize I was in a bubble.

Now, we’re a military family living in AL. It’s tough. MH was active duty in SC but we weren’t around other military families and it was so different. I’m excited to vote but it’s also pretty depressing.

I’m so anxious for Nov. 6.

[starbuck]

Oct 24, 2018 20:39:12 GMT -6 honeylemon said:

Hey!

We recently moved from SC to AL. We were in Greenville and our friend group was strongly liberal. I absolutely loved it there but I realize I was in a bubble.

Now, we’re a military family living in AL. It’s tough. MH was active duty in SC but we weren’t around other military families and it was so different. I’m excited to vote but it’s also pretty depressing.

I’m so anxious for Nov. 6.

We were in Montgomery for a few years and it was a minefield. Not so much about politics, but being a woman was challenging on an almost daily basis.

[honeylemon]

Oct 24, 2018 20:43:53 GMT -6 starbuck said:

Oct 24, 2018 20:39:12 GMT -6 honeylemon said:

Hey!

We recently moved from SC to AL. We were in Greenville and our friend group was strongly liberal. I absolutely loved it there but I realize I was in a bubble.

Now, we’re a military family living in AL. It’s tough. MH was active duty in SC but we weren’t around other military families and it was so different. I’m excited to vote but it’s also pretty depressing.

I’m so anxious for Nov. 6.

We were in Montgomery for a few years and it was a minefield. Not so much about politics, but being a woman was challenging on an almost daily basis.

Yep. I’m counting the days until we GTFO.

[pianolove]

I live in a blue state but a very red area. When you get closer to the city and universities you see more blue. The people here, if they still have trump signs and stickers there is no talking with them. I can have conversations now with Never Hillarys and have a meaningful exchange of ideas though. It's been a learning curve for me. I'm learning how to calmly talk about the issues themselves. I can gain more traction that way and then casually connect it to trump without eye rolls and "oh, she's one of Those." There is something about his name that stirs a lot of emotion that is utterly detrimental to conversation.

We're non denominational, and it is appalling to me to see people in churches we grew up in publicly throw their support behind that vile train wreck sitting in office. I could write a dissertation on politics in churches.

[ladybrienne]

I live in a battleground state that can literally go either way. It is something. The area I live in is always a hot topic too in the news every Election of how it will go. It's an area that went strongly for Obama, and then strongly for Trump.

I honestly have no idea what to expect from this area in regards to midterms and 2020 for that matter. But the town I am currently in feels very.....red. A lot of farmers, a lot of Trump supporters. It's frustrating. But then I can drive one town over and there are a ton of blue signs.

My area is very strange. It may not be relevant to the convo here but I just wanted to throw it in.

[JukEboX]

We live in a blue state but from what I see around here is a lot of mix. At work which is about 1+ hours away a lot of Trump supporters. Between work and home (including some family :eyerolls:) are independents but watch Fox News. They don't really support Trump but its more like they don't like the current Dem leadership. It seems to me that Dems have hurt them personally deeply and it is like a tough wound to open when you talk about it. Yet some are jaded. Either way I wonder some days how this state is blue based on what I see. I see people with pickup trucks driving around with Trump stickers. And i mean BIG Trump stickers. But when you talk to people we normally aren't talking about politics but some small hints dropped about LGBT or comments about other things helps to show where they lean. We are not the most social people but we know who to avoid simply but judgement.

I do feel for you down in the red states and all I can say is stay strong. Seems we have become the resistance and there is a lot of healing to do and Dems are no where close to making anything better at this point. It is still the dry old Democratic policy and it doesn't really seem to me they are reaching out to anyone to make change or understanding.

[starbuck]

I am in a red state, in a red neighborhood. I am literally surrounded by Kemp and Handel signs. If someone tells me they are a Republican I don't automatically assume that they're a Trump-supporting asshole, mainly because I know a lot of GOPers who reject him wholeheartedly.

We have a home church, but I don't think I've ever been asked about what church I go to as a matter of course in my conversations. I get heckled a lot more over college football (I don't even like football, but wearing my UF hat is suuuuper annoying). Several of the Pastors here in ATL have expressed opinions on 45 - some for, and some against (including a few mega church Baptist preachers who have publicly rejected 45). My Pastor does not pull punches IRT 45 and has expressed his displeasure with him from the pulpit and in published OpEds.

Frankly though, I think you just have to be prepared to engage with people on the other side - sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes a little more emphatically. It does no good to let them exist in their little echo chamber, never being challenged by different opinions or confronted with actual facts. It's going to take some discomfort to change minds.

[joelies]

Oct 25, 2018 7:22:32 GMT -6 JukEboX said:

We live in a blue state but from what I see around here is a lot of mix. At work which is about 1+ hours away a lot of Trump supporters. Between work and home (including some family :eyerolls:) are independents but watch Fox News. They don't really support Trump but its more like they don't like the current Dem leadership. It seems to me that Dems have hurt them personally deeply and it is like a tough wound to open when you talk about it. Yet some are jaded. Either way I wonder some days how this state is blue based on what I see. I see people with pickup trucks driving around with Trump stickers. And i mean BIG Trump stickers. But when you talk to people we normally aren't talking about politics but some small hints dropped about LGBT or comments about other things helps to show where they lean. We are not the most social people but we know who to avoid simply but judgement.

I do feel for you down in the red states and all I can say is stay strong. Seems we have become the resistance and there is a lot of healing to do and Dems are no where close to making anything better at this point. It is still the dry old Democratic policy and it doesn't really seem to me they are reaching out to anyone to make change or understanding.

Same blue state, nearby red dot. It's depressing and frustrating (see: my post about yelling at my coworker this morning). A lot of people I know either held their nose and voted Trump or wrote someone else in, over voting for Hills. Some of them are truly shitty people and others are those "fiscal conservatives" who can somehow turn a blind eye to the vile shit going on because they got a tax break. Only one of those groups is even worth TRYING to talk to, and apparently I'm too emotionally involved to do much more than swear.

[JukEboX]

Oct 25, 2018 7:58:17 GMT -6 joelies said:

Oct 25, 2018 7:22:32 GMT -6 JukEboX said:

We live in a blue state but from what I see around here is a lot of mix. At work which is about 1+ hours away a lot of Trump supporters. Between work and home (including some family :eyerolls:) are independents but watch Fox News. They don't really support Trump but its more like they don't like the current Dem leadership. It seems to me that Dems have hurt them personally deeply and it is like a tough wound to open when you talk about it. Yet some are jaded. Either way I wonder some days how this state is blue based on what I see. I see people with pickup trucks driving around with Trump stickers. And i mean BIG Trump stickers. But when you talk to people we normally aren't talking about politics but some small hints dropped about LGBT or comments about other things helps to show where they lean. We are not the most social people but we know who to avoid simply but judgement.

I do feel for you down in the red states and all I can say is stay strong. Seems we have become the resistance and there is a lot of healing to do and Dems are no where close to making anything better at this point. It is still the dry old Democratic policy and it doesn't really seem to me they are reaching out to anyone to make change or understanding.

Same blue state, nearby red dot. It's depressing and frustrating (see: my post about yelling at my coworker this morning). A lot of people I know either held their nose and voted Trump or wrote someone else in, over voting for Hills. Some of them are truly shitty people and others are those "fiscal conservatives" who can somehow turn a blind eye to the vile shit going on because they got a tax break. Only one of those groups is even worth TRYING to talk to, and apparently I'm too emotionally involved to do much more than swear.

I did see your post and left a you picture to hopefully make you smile.

Also forgot to say we are not really religious. Both raised Catholic, her especially at  a Catholic girls high school. When we got together we agreed that religion is only causing pain and has become cultish and we believe we can raise our children better than the dribble spewed by child molestation deny-ers. I am now adamantly against religion. We found something that fits what we want but its our own interpretation because we can do that . #america

Personally talking to overly religious people denotes their political values and at that point if they default to religion I immediately turn off attention because their common sense is broken and they aren't thinking clearly. But either way I am respectful in ending the conversation and walking away. At this point those are a overly religious and Trump supporters are too far gone until something in the negative pointed directly at Trump affects their life.

[flippinchica]

I am here. I live in Texas now so...yeah. I lost sleep last night over a conversion I overhead. White guy #1 My daughter voted for Beto just because he is not Republican" white guy #2 "It is scary..." and went on to assume that all his supporters are uninformed and just knew jerk voting against Cruz. I kinda wish I would have said something but it is vital to my career that I have a good working relationship with these people and I didn't trust myself to get into the discussion without getting worked up.
I talked to some of the women at work who are excited to vote for Beto though so I'm not completely surrounded.
I'm currently feeling really angry and stressed about the midterms and the horrible shit that Trump spews. I want to say something but I dont want to jeopardize my job.

[JukEboX]

Oct 25, 2018 8:08:35 GMT -6 flippinchica said:

I am here. I live in Texas now so...yeah. I lost sleep last night over a conversion I overhead. White guy #1 My daughter voted for Beto just because he is not Republican" white guy #2 "It is scary..." and went on to assume that all his supporters are uninformed and just knew jerk voting against Cruz. I kinda wish I would have said something but it is vital to my career that I have a good working relationship with these people and I didn't trust myself to get into the discussion without getting worked up.
I talked to some of the women at work who are excited to vote for Beto though so I'm not completely surrounded.
I'm currently feeling really angry and stressed about the midterms and the horrible shit that Trump spews. I want to say something but I dont want to jeopardize my job.

wow flippinchica the more I read this the more I felt so bad that you couldn't speak up. And the more I thought about it the more I thought of the similarities with this and the show Mad Men. Not sure if you say it on Netflix. Essentially it is about a marketing office in the 50s and 60s and the battle between male chauvinism and the working mother and girl. 

It all goes toward the what its like now with all atmosphere we are in. And I know I am a dude and I am privileged in that right I think its wrong and the whole situation makes me uncomfortable. You should be able to voice your opinion in your workplace without fear of losing your job. Thanks for sharing.

[doublestuf]

I'm in a red area of NC about 30 min from Raleigh sctiger. I think Raleigh is more purple than blue. Somewhere like Chapel Hill is definitely blue but living there is outrageous $ wise. Almost all of my family are Rs except one grandma and my other set of grandparents are ?? I wouldn't call them Ds but they HATE Trump. As olds born and raised in the South, they definitely have their share of racist beliefs, but we can and do talk politics. The rest of my family avoids it at all costs with me.

H and I haven't been to church since right before DD was born. At first it was because she was such a tough baby that taking her places was miserable, but now it's absolutely because neither of us could handle one ounce of hypocrisy. We would be interested in finding a church again but it would have to be geared towards social justice. We have a 3 month old and both work, so putting forth the energy isn't something we are interested in right now. H in particular is very angry that all of this has made him question his faith. I called my family out on this recently and it did not go well at all.

Friend wise I have pulled away (plus new baby means socializing is not a priority). I don't have a large friend circle anyways but I really don't know where they stand and I'm too scared to find out because I know I'll be done with them. I have seen apathy (just turn off the news). No one is clearly loudly liberal and I don't do SM other than here, so I don't know if they post things.

H grew up in a blue college town and his parents and 2 siblings still live there. He talks all the time about moving back. It's so expensive plus we are both halfway to being fully vested in the state that moving doesn't make sense. Like @heartbot, I feel like I can do more good here. But it is isolating. I wish I had a good friend to talk politics with, go to rallies with, etc. I can with my inlaws but they're 4 hours away. I'm so thankful for this board for that reason.

[CurlieWhirlie]

Oct 25, 2018 7:48:09 GMT -6 starbuck said:

I am in a red state, in a red neighborhood. I am literally surrounded by Kemp and Handel signs. If someone tells me they are a Republican I don't automatically assume that they're a Trump-supporting asshole, mainly because I know a lot of GOPers who reject him wholeheartedly.

We have a home church, but I don't think I've ever been asked about what church I go to as a matter of course in my conversations. I get heckled a lot more over college football (I don't even like football, but wearing my UF hat is suuuuper annoying). Several of the Pastors here in ATL have expressed opinions on 45 - some for, and some against (including a few mega church Baptist preachers who have publicly rejected 45). My Pastor does not pull punches IRT 45 and has expressed his displeasure with him from the pulpit and in published OpEds.

Frankly though, I think you just have to be prepared to engage with people on the other side - sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes a little more emphatically. It does no good to let them exist in their little echo chamber, never being challenged by different opinions or confronted with actual facts. It's going to take some discomfort to change minds.

So you're in the GA 6th, if you're seeing Handel signs? I have an office there that I visit about once a quarter (I live in NorCal). I was just out there in September and I didn't see ANY signs at all, and I was looking! I was disappointed not to see Abrams signs but at least felt ok that I didn't see any Kemp.

A lot of the people I work with in that area are liberal but are quiet about it because they feel they're likely surrounded by conservatives and they don't want to be confrontational. I also work with people in that area who call themselves "conservative" because it is part of their white southern identity, but they are actually quite liberal in their personal beliefs. Won't change their votes, unfortunately. Cognitive dissonance!

[starbuck]

Oct 25, 2018 15:54:13 GMT -6 CurlieWhirlie said:

Oct 25, 2018 7:48:09 GMT -6 starbuck said:

I am in a red state, in a red neighborhood. I am literally surrounded by Kemp and Handel signs. If someone tells me they are a Republican I don't automatically assume that they're a Trump-supporting asshole, mainly because I know a lot of GOPers who reject him wholeheartedly.

We have a home church, but I don't think I've ever been asked about what church I go to as a matter of course in my conversations. I get heckled a lot more over college football (I don't even like football, but wearing my UF hat is suuuuper annoying). Several of the Pastors here in ATL have expressed opinions on 45 - some for, and some against (including a few mega church Baptist preachers who have publicly rejected 45). My Pastor does not pull punches IRT 45 and has expressed his displeasure with him from the pulpit and in published OpEds.

Frankly though, I think you just have to be prepared to engage with people on the other side - sometimes in a friendly way, sometimes a little more emphatically. It does no good to let them exist in their little echo chamber, never being challenged by different opinions or confronted with actual facts. It's going to take some discomfort to change minds.

So you're in the GA 6th, if you're seeing Handel signs? I have an office there that I visit about once a quarter (I live in NorCal). I was just out there in September and I didn't see ANY signs at all, and I was looking! I was disappointed not to see Abrams signs but at least felt ok that I didn't see any Kemp.

A lot of the people I work with in that area are liberal but are quiet about it because they feel they're likely surrounded by conservatives and they don't want to be confrontational. I also work with people in that area who call themselves "conservative" because it is part of their white southern identity, but they are actually quite liberal in their personal beliefs. Won't change their votes, unfortunately. Cognitive dissonance!

Yes that's where we are. The Handel signs came out in the past week or so. Kemp has increased, too. I agree there are Dems in the district, who are more reserved about their political leanings. Ossof/Handel was a 6pt race, closer than I would have thought. I'm curious to see how McBath does. The last Polling I saw had the same split.

The Republicans I know are a curious mix of RINOs (who like you say are cultural); evangelical & vocal supporters of Trump; and Reaganites (like, tshirt wearing, bumper sticker having Reagan fan, true conservatives) who also hate Trump. It's weird here.

[maybe]

I live in a red state and my neighborhood doesn’t allow political signs but i assume most of the white people are Republicans just to guard my heart. One of my neighbors is running for a State House seat and he is a piece of garbage. From my home to my son’s school (which is in a wealthy part of Atlanta), i only see Kemp signs. It’s really distressing and red state life was one of the reasons that we serioualy considered a big move to Seattle. I love my house and like my job but I hate that my boys are growing up in a southern, gun-crazy place that is actively trying to suppress my vote. I am struggling.

[jaygee]

maybe I’m sorry. I was in your area, but a very different part last week and it gave me a lot of hope. I went to the Little Five Points Halloween parade and it was all Abrams all the time. But I know that is such a bubble. At the same time, my friends and I talked so much about the voter suppression because as white liberals we feel powerless to it. I mean all we can do is support organizations that will sue the shit out of the state after the fact, but that doesn’t change what’s happening right now.

On the flip side, I had a very eye opening experience at a park with a little boy (maybe 3) who was in a full on swat gear costume and “playing” by holding a toy gun to his mom’s head. That is...not something I’m used to.

I love living in your city, but I didn’t have a kid when I was there and I’m not black so I moved through it vastly different. I know you’ll make the right decision for your family. If you stay, you’ll raise your boys with your values because what they hear and see in their home matters most. Sending you strength.

[GhoatMonket]

Oct 25, 2018 8:18:22 GMT -6 @heartbot said:

I'm a blue dotter in Texas. My current neighborhood and friends are mostly blue, but I'm from a small town in Texas, where almost everyone I grew up with and most of my living family are Republicans. In Austin, almost no one asks about church, and my husband and I are atheists so don't attend. My kids go/went to a progressive Lutheran daycare, though, and most of my interactions have been with more progressive churches here in Austin, many of which are visible in the activist community. I'm grateful for a different church community than where I grew up, and honestly, the preaching of bigotry from the pulpit is one of the first reasons I began questioning my faith when I was younger. I can definitely see it being frustrating trying to find a welcoming church community in a conservative area. It's sad.

I lived in blue states for several years and moved back a few years ago to be closer to family, and while I get really frustrated with Texas politics, I honestly feel like my time and energy is better spent here, politically speaking. I feel like I have more ability to change things. But I couldn't go back to living in a rural area like where I grew up.

God yes. It's painful to visit, let alone the thought of living there again. 

We are in a light blue spot in a very red state. Many of the farmers/rural communities are very much like the miners- refusing to accept any changes to their way of life even though everything has evolved and their traditional way is obsolete. It's a hard pill to swallow, and they are taking it as well as a feral cat. 

[maybe]

I’m sad we didn’t get to meet jaygee. Next time! We used to live near Little 5 Points and that’s a different world than where we are now. I miss it.

[bunnyfungo]

Blue dot in red Nebraska! I live in a small town just outside Omaha. I’m close enough that we go into the city for most things, but not close enough to be in that district. Which bums me out because I think district 2 has the greatest chance to flip because Omaha leans blue and I would love for my vote to help. I think I’m one of only a handful of people that are Democrats in my town. When I voted in the primary they had to yell for a democrat ballot and it was so awkward. 😬

[Bluebird]

I’m a blue dot in a red state (TX), in a metro area that is pretty blue, but a suburb that has historically been very red. If that makes sense!

It appears my area is shifting though and seems to be pretty mixed these days. Our friend and social groups are also a mix. The church question is not uncommon in my area. I am not religious, but MH would like for us to find a church. We’ve tried many, but I haven’t been able to find one that feels genuinely accepting yet since they all eventually start ranting about the Bible declaring that marriage can only be between a man and a woman.

[oreobitsy]

We moved to a red state from a blue one this year, and it is an adjustment. We talked before moving about how we were taking our children away from an inclusive and liberal city to a much more conservative environment. It was hard to make the decision to move but we tried to find at least an area with some blue elements of the red state. At least my local reps will be a thorn in the majority's side.

Now that we are here, honestly, it is hard not to jump to judging. I'm trying to remind myself how nuanced values and political affiliation can be, but it is tough at times. I know that I should be better but I'm human... and it is hard to know that people voted for these people in office. One mom I met has kid similarities with me but she is on such a different religious/political world than me (Librarians know how to dig the dirt, btw). I hope there will be a kumbaya moment in our future when we inevitably discuss religion or politics, but it's hard to imagine right now.

[sterling]

Ohio is very purple these days. I’m in an ultra blue bubble after being in old people suburban republicanville for the last decade. I’m so happy we moved. Our city as a whole is pretty blue too, as are all the major Ohio cities. But those fucking suburbs, man.

[sherminator]

Everywhere is redder than it should be... WI used to be reliably blue-ish. Progressive anyway. Sure red enclaves, but people were civil. Its beyond the pale now. I hope we take back this state from the trainwreck- but the point is, I'm not sure where beyond the dots it would be desirable to go to anymore... the one thing about the Orangeman-- hes brought the dregs out, and I see for real the veneer of liberalness is just that.

[justkeepmoving]

I’m in a red dot of a purple state (Ohio). However I’m also right next to a blue big city (we live in a suburb). I get so excited to find another dem in this area or someone with dem signs in their yard as there aren’t many.

We just found a church we liked this year. The head pastor does not get political and doesn’t voice his opinion about anything that could seem political. The church is starting a series next week on How To Neighbor though which will be interesting. Next week’s discussion will be on racism.

[trueblue]

I’ll be watching a number of the same races as you sctiger, though I am hopeful my area goes a bit more blue than they have historically. I am so stressed by this election and the thought that some sort of sanity/balance won’t return makes me want to cry.

[mrsweasley]

Nov 3, 2018 6:49:58 GMT -6 sterling said:

Ohio is very purple these days. I’m in an ultra blue bubble after being in old people suburban republicanville for the last decade. I’m so happy we moved. Our city as a whole is pretty blue too, as are all the major Ohio cities. But those fucking suburbs, man.

We came from CA 2.5 years ago and are in a suburb of a big city. People on our street had tons of 45 and "Lock Her Up" signs 2 years ago and there was an incident at DS's school where kids were standing on the tables at lunch chanting "BUILD THE WALL". Thankfully the administration shut that down quickly, but 7th graders shouldn't be like that. Kicking myself a little we didn't end up in the other suburb we considered because it's more blue, but we didn't know that at the time.

I keep trying to tell myself the bright side is my vote is more impactful here than CA, but even my slightly right leaning H is ready to go back.

[sterling]

Nov 6, 2018 17:41:43 GMT -6 mrsweasley said:

Nov 3, 2018 6:49:58 GMT -6 sterling said:

Ohio is very purple these days. I’m in an ultra blue bubble after being in old people suburban republicanville for the last decade. I’m so happy we moved. Our city as a whole is pretty blue too, as are all the major Ohio cities. But those fucking suburbs, man.

We came from CA 2.5 years ago and are in a suburb of a big city. People on our street had tons of 45 and "Lock Her Up" signs 2 years ago and there was an incident at DS's school where kids were standing on the tables at lunch chanting "BUILD THE WALL". Thankfully the administration shut that down quickly, but 7th graders shouldn't be like that. Kicking myself a little we didn't end up in the other suburb we considered because it's more blue, but we didn't know that at the time.

I keep trying to tell myself the bright side is my vote is more impactful here than CA, but even my slightly right leaning H is ready to go back.

Our neighborhood has made so much of a difference. I finally feel at home in Ohio, a feat I never, ever, ever thought would happen. Only took a decade, a marriage, and two kids.