|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:26:39 GMT -6
Post by sheilathetank on Sept 21, 2018 12:26:39 GMT -6
Really? If they've worked thru infidelity in their marriage it seems they would have had to already work thru the betrayal trust and meanness of the cheating as a couple. Not that they'd try to pretend they never felt that way when it happened. I would think they had to work hard to get thru the problems in the marriage that lead up to the cheating. There being problems in the marriage that lead to cheating doesn't mean the cheater was somehow pushed into it. The problem often is what mb says, one person wants to cheat for their own selfish reasons one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in marriage. One person only thinks of themselves. You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? or on the flip side that you hate your spouse because of stupid shit you did in the past.
|
|
AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,431 Likes: 34,055
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:26:53 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by AmyG on Sept 21, 2018 12:26:53 GMT -6
Really? If they've worked thru infidelity in their marriage it seems they would have had to already work thru the betrayal trust and meanness of the cheating as a couple. Not that they'd try to pretend they never felt that way when it happened. I would think they had to work hard to get thru the problems in the marriage that lead up to the cheating. There being problems in the marriage that lead to cheating doesn't mean the cheater was somehow pushed into it. The problem often is what mb says, one person wants to cheat for their own selfish reasons one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in marriage. One person only thinks of themselves. You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? The whole discussion would likely be opening old wounds. Saying oh it wasn't cheating cause there were no emotions seems like it would be way more rage inducing. one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in any marriage. One person only thinks of themselves and it's ruining the marriage. Doesn't mean you can't come back from that. But the selfish cheating person has to start thinking of someone aside from themselves and putting the spouse higher, showing them respect. Showing them more love and less hateful actions. Love without respect is not good for a marriage now is it? If cheating isn't a hateful action what is it?
|
|
kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
|
Post by kmkd on Sept 21, 2018 12:26:59 GMT -6
I’m backing off. I feel like there’s 3 points happening for 5 different things. Points are getting finger banged by Taco Bell and leashes. We have an electrician here and he is flipping fuses and my husband is shouting “on” or “off” while the lights flicker and all the appliances beep and that just solidified my drive thru lunch plans. It’s like being in this thread in real life. That’s the kind of fairly innocuous thing that would make me feel very murdery towards my husband.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:27:13 GMT -6
Post by microworm on Sept 21, 2018 12:27:13 GMT -6
I just Googled molly. I thought it was one of those drugs that made you want to rip your face off. Did not know it was ecstasy.
Here, everyone come flame me for my ignorance and ignore the cheating dumpster fire.
|
|
ripper
Opal
Posts: 8,601 Likes: 30,205
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:28:10 GMT -6
Post by ripper on Sept 21, 2018 12:28:10 GMT -6
Really? If they've worked thru infidelity in their marriage it seems they would have had to already work thru the betrayal trust and meanness of the cheating as a couple. Not that they'd try to pretend they never felt that way when it happened. I would think they had to work hard to get thru the problems in the marriage that lead up to the cheating. There being problems in the marriage that lead to cheating doesn't mean the cheater was somehow pushed into it. The problem often is what mb says, one person wants to cheat for their own selfish reasons one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in marriage. One person only thinks of themselves. You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? We all should probably shut down the internet. I mean, by this logic, anyone who could get potentially upset by anything should avoid all contact with opinions. no tv, no reading and certainly no talking to anyone, ever.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:31:07 GMT -6
Post by ladybrienne on Sept 21, 2018 12:31:07 GMT -6
You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? We all should probably shut down the internet. I mean, by this logic, anyone who could get potentially upset by anything should avoid all contact with opinions. no tv, no reading and certainly no talking to anyone, ever. We've shut down a few forums so this isn't a far-fetched idea.
|
|
Bluebird
Amethyst
Posts: 6,405 Likes: 22,234
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:32:12 GMT -6
Post by Bluebird on Sept 21, 2018 12:32:12 GMT -6
I just Googled molly. I thought it was one of those drugs that made you want to rip your face off. Did not know it was ecstasy. Here, everyone come flame me for my ignorance and ignore the cheating dumpster fire.
|
|
kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
|
Post by kmkd on Sept 21, 2018 12:32:32 GMT -6
We all should probably shut down the internet. I mean, by this logic, anyone who could get potentially upset by anything should avoid all contact with opinions. no tv, no reading and certainly no talking to anyone, ever. We've shut down a few forums so this isn't a far-fetched idea. Next stop, the entire World Wide Web!
|
|
AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,431 Likes: 34,055
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:32:46 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by AmyG on Sept 21, 2018 12:32:46 GMT -6
Really? If they've worked thru infidelity in their marriage it seems they would have had to already work thru the betrayal, rebuild trust and come to terms with the meanness of the cheating as a couple. Not that they'd try to pretend they never felt that way when it happened. I would think they had to work hard to get thru the problems in the marriage that lead up to the cheating. There being problems in the marriage that lead to cheating doesn't mean the cheater was somehow pushed into it by the otger person. The problem often is what mb says, one person wants to cheat for their own selfish reasons one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in marriage. One person only thinks of themselves and it's ruining the marriage. Doesn't mean you can't come back from that. But the selfish cheating person has to start thinking of someone aside from themselves and putting the spouse higher, showing them respect. Love without respect is not good for a marriage now is it? There was something fundamentally broken in my marriage when MH cheated. We did put in a lot of work to get past it. I do not think for one second that MH hated me when he was cheating. I'm sorry that happened to you. I believe he did not actively hate you. Something was broken as you said. But He chose to do a very selfish hateful act that totally disrespected you and your marriage. I applaud you for working thru it all.
|
|
Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,728 Likes: 131,010
|
Post by Pizzaslut on Sept 21, 2018 12:33:12 GMT -6
I just threw a milk carton in the recycling bin on my way out!
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:33:40 GMT -6
Post by microworm on Sept 21, 2018 12:33:40 GMT -6
I just Googled molly. I thought it was one of those drugs that made you want to rip your face off. Did not know it was ecstasy. Here, everyone come flame me for my ignorance and ignore the cheating dumpster fire. Looks fun. Hook it up shan-ah-doo. Is there a reason for the pacifier?
|
|
|
Post by sheilathetank on Sept 21, 2018 12:33:54 GMT -6
I just threw a milk carton in the recycling bin on my way out! We've come so far today!
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:34:40 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2018 12:34:40 GMT -6
You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? The whole discussion would likely be opening old wounds. Saying oh it wasn't cheating cause there were no emotions seems like it would be way more rage inducing. one extra selfish person can be the biggest actual problem in any marriage. One person only thinks of themselves and it's ruining the marriage. Doesn't mean you can't come back from that. But the selfish cheating person has to start thinking of someone aside from themselves and putting the spouse higher, showing them respect. Showing them more love and less hateful actions. Love without respect is not good for a marriage now is it? If cheating isn't a hateful action what is it? I think you can love someone and still cheat on them but I don’t think you can respect someone and still cheat on them. That’s the difference for me. And I think respect can be returned/regained which is why I think some people are able to rebuilt relationships after infidelity. And I’m not sure that it would hurt any less to think a cheating spouse didn’t respect you vice didn’t love you but I do think if you cheat at the very basic level there is absolutely a lack of respect.
|
|
Diordra
Sapphire
Posts: 4,368 Likes: 18,191
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:34:41 GMT -6
Post by Diordra on Sept 21, 2018 12:34:41 GMT -6
microworm So you don't chew on your lips or cheeks.
|
|
kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
|
Post by kmkd on Sept 21, 2018 12:35:45 GMT -6
wtf is a chippy? A chipmunk? In Pittsburgh we called them grinnies and now I call it a grinny and DH harasses me each time the word leaves my lips. Eek I don’t like that word. Stop that. Bad. ETA: I have very scientifically polled my Pittsburgh cousins and they have never heard that word and said I’m crazy.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:37:53 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by queenofwildthings on Sept 21, 2018 12:37:53 GMT -6
Looks fun. Hook it up shan-ah-doo. Is there a reason for the pacifier? I think due to jaw clentching
|
|
Bluebird
Amethyst
Posts: 6,405 Likes: 22,234
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:38:32 GMT -6
Post by Bluebird on Sept 21, 2018 12:38:32 GMT -6
Looks fun. Hook it up shan-ah-doo . Is there a reason for the pacifier? There is some jaw clenching/oral fixation as a side effect, and the pacifier became a rave thing.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:38:39 GMT -6
Post by silverspoon on Sept 21, 2018 12:38:39 GMT -6
I just threw a milk carton in the recycling bin on my way out!
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:39:08 GMT -6
Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 21, 2018 12:39:08 GMT -6
We all should probably shut down the internet. I mean, by this logic, anyone who could get potentially upset by anything should avoid all contact with opinions. no tv, no reading and certainly no talking to anyone, ever. We've shut down a few forums so this isn't a far-fetched idea. LOL- my thought was "BT,DT".
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:41:28 GMT -6
Post by notblanche on Sept 21, 2018 12:41:28 GMT -6
Make sure to bust out the leashes for good measure. Someone mail me a leash for my 3 year old. Cuz girl friend can RUN and ain’t nobody got the time! Well I did buy two...
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:43:36 GMT -6
Post by angelashly on Sept 21, 2018 12:43:36 GMT -6
You are telling people who may have rebuilt after fidelity that their spouse must have hated them. You don't see how that could open old wounds and make them feel a way? We all should probably shut down the internet. I mean, by this logic, anyone who could get potentially upset by anything should avoid all contact with opinions. no tv, no reading and certainly no talking to anyone, ever. Did I say that? I am just saying like I did earlier in defense of you. Sometimes you have to think before typing not that no one should ever not have an opinion ever
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:45:38 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by hardlyluck on Sept 21, 2018 12:45:38 GMT -6
I think due to jaw clentching Yup. Your jaw shakes, so you tend to clench or grind your teeth. And honestly, you look dumb doing it, but getting one of those light shows is fun. I mean, just say no to drugs! So one of my kids old pacifiers is the solution to my sore jaw from clenching it so much dealing with DS1! I’ve started putting the tip of my tongue between my front teeth so I don’t clench my teeth as hard, it either works, or hurts.
|
|
kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
|
Post by kmkd on Sept 21, 2018 12:50:08 GMT -6
LOL
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,380 Likes: 203,398
|
Post by pobre on Sept 21, 2018 12:52:34 GMT -6
I am still sick AF but had to come into work today.
My coworker had to take me aside to tell me I had a booger in what was basically my cleavage.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:52:50 GMT -6
Post by lucilleaustero on Sept 21, 2018 12:52:50 GMT -6
I am late to this cause work meeting, but I have opinions.
Cheating may mean a relationship is broken. It may mean it is flawed. It may mean nothing of the sort.
Cheating may speak to a person's character. Or not. It may show that a person has weakness. Or not.
Cheating might show that one spouse does not like the other. Or not.
Cheating may be unsurmountable for some couples. Cheating may be a huge hurdle that can be overcome. Cheating may be just a tiny blip in the road for some marriages.
Sex is seen as completely sentimental and love affirming for some people. Sex is completely unsentimental and does not get mixed up with love for some people. Others are somewhere else on this spectrum.
If there is one thing that cannot be painted with the same brushstroke it is marriage and sex. C'mon now.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,189 Likes: 296,706
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:56:17 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by McBenny on Sept 21, 2018 12:56:17 GMT -6
My confession is, a few weeks ago I did molly and it was amazing. First time I’ve done it since I was a teen. I most likely won’t do it again, but I don’t regret doing it st all. It was the first time I had fun in a very long time. it's my fave. Well I don't know what current Molly make up is . Give me the ecstasy from yesteryear.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,189 Likes: 296,706
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 12:59:21 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by McBenny on Sept 21, 2018 12:59:21 GMT -6
I don't agree. If you love the person or even like them bit, you wouldn't treat them that way. You wouldn't show that huge lack of respect. You might not be at the angry screaming "I hate you" part of the death of your relationship, But you certainly can't have like, love or even slight caring for them if you are fucking or planning actual fucking (not just mental fantasy) of someone else behind their back. I really disagree and think some of the broad statements you’re making could be super hurtful to people here who have worked through infidelity in their marriage. I agree. All im saying is Idomt think the a son is one size fits all.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 13:03:32 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by shan-ah-doo on Sept 21, 2018 13:03:32 GMT -6
My confession is, a few weeks ago I did molly and it was amazing. First time I’ve done it since I was a teen. I most likely won’t do it again, but I don’t regret doing it st all. It was the first time I had fun in a very long time. I read the article about the scientists giving it to octopus and it made me wish I could do it again sometime. I read that piece. I was like right on, octopuses.
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 13:07:06 GMT -6
Post by whoopster on Sept 21, 2018 13:07:06 GMT -6
I still have questions as to why they did that to the octopuses
|
|
|
FFFC
Sept 21, 2018 13:07:20 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by shan-ah-doo on Sept 21, 2018 13:07:20 GMT -6
Looks fun. Hook it up shan-ah-doo. Is there a reason for the pacifier? You clench your jaw really bad so having something in your mouth is a must. And it is SO FUN.
|
|