Randoms Week of 8/6

[tbirdlove]

I'm starting this so I can complain....

[Nymeria]

Been a busy couple days at work. Didn't even realize this hadn't been started yet!

[tbirdlove]

I'm fucking hormonal as hell. I'm feeling so shitty that I've begun questioning whether I'm just moody and hormonal and pregnant or if I'm experiencing some level of antepartum depression. I think I'm just hormonal and pregnant and that I need more fucking HELP. I feel trapped in my house alone with DS who is basically watching tv all day because I can't handle taking him anywhere. I'm so frustrated with feeling alone all day and not being able to do much. And it doesn't help that even when MH is home, we're so disconnected that we hardly talk to each other. I basically ditch him with the kid and then angry-clean the house when he's home - doing all the shit that I don't have time to do while I'm alone with a toddler all day.

And I can't begin to express how irritated I am that the nursery is not painted yet because I'm waiting for MH to help me. Oh yeah, and we need a babysitter to watch DS while we work on it. Naturally, I'm responsible for setting all of that up. I'm on the verge of doing it all myself during nap times or after bedtime because I'm sick of waiting. Which will be awesome and take forever.

And my wedding anniversary is this Friday and I basically don't give a shit....

[brenna]

Aug 7, 2018 14:46:21 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

I'm fucking hormonal as hell. I'm feeling so shitty that I've begun questioning whether I'm just moody and hormonal and pregnant or if I'm experiencing some level of antepartum depression. I think I'm just hormonal and pregnant and that I need more fucking HELP. I feel trapped in my house alone with DS who is basically watching tv all day because I can't handle taking him anywhere. I'm so frustrated with feeling alone all day and not being able to do much. And it doesn't help that even when MH is home, we're so disconnected that we hardly talk to each other. I basically ditch him with the kid and then angry-clean the house when he's home - doing all the shit that I don't have time to do while I'm alone with a toddler all day.

And I can't begin to express how irritated I am that the nursery is not painted yet because I'm waiting for MH to help me. Oh yeah, and we need a babysitter to watch DS while we work on it. Naturally, I'm responsible for setting all of that up. I'm on the verge of doing it all myself during nap times or after bedtime because I'm sick of waiting. Which will be awesome and take forever.

And my wedding anniversary is this Friday and I basically don't give a shit....

Hugs. Staying at home is hard a lot of times. I feel so isolated and it's too hot to take DD anywhere and if I do she doesn't listen and runs away and I can't really chase her anymore so we stay home and I go stir crazy. She makes more messes than I can clean up and I feel like I'm a failure as a mom/wife/house keeper/ etc. All the time. I'm already starting to question my decision to take a year off because I feel like a lot of times going to work is easier. I get mad at DH sometimes for working late because I'm done being mom by 4 o clock. I can't even imagine how I will survive two. Feel free to vent to me any time because I'm right there with you. Day care workers must be saints or something or maybe because it's not their own kids, but some days I wish I could just be alone!

**I know I am very fortunate to get to stay home and love getting to spend so much time with DD most days, but some days just suck.**

[tbirdlove]

Aug 7, 2018 17:56:54 GMT -6 brenna said:

Aug 7, 2018 14:46:21 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

I'm fucking hormonal as hell. I'm feeling so shitty that I've begun questioning whether I'm just moody and hormonal and pregnant or if I'm experiencing some level of antepartum depression. I think I'm just hormonal and pregnant and that I need more fucking HELP. I feel trapped in my house alone with DS who is basically watching tv all day because I can't handle taking him anywhere. I'm so frustrated with feeling alone all day and not being able to do much. And it doesn't help that even when MH is home, we're so disconnected that we hardly talk to each other. I basically ditch him with the kid and then angry-clean the house when he's home - doing all the shit that I don't have time to do while I'm alone with a toddler all day.

And I can't begin to express how irritated I am that the nursery is not painted yet because I'm waiting for MH to help me. Oh yeah, and we need a babysitter to watch DS while we work on it. Naturally, I'm responsible for setting all of that up. I'm on the verge of doing it all myself during nap times or after bedtime because I'm sick of waiting. Which will be awesome and take forever.

And my wedding anniversary is this Friday and I basically don't give a shit....

Hugs. Staying at home is hard a lot of times. I feel so isolated and it's too hot to take DD anywhere and if I do she doesn't listen and runs away and I can't really chase her anymore so we stay home and I go stir crazy. She makes more messes than I can clean up and I feel like I'm a failure as a mom/wife/house keeper/ etc. All the time. I'm already starting to question my decision to take a year off because I feel like a lot of times going to work is easier. I get mad at DH sometimes for working late because I'm done being mom by 4 o clock. I can't even imagine how I will survive two. Feel free to vent to me any time because I'm right there with you. Day care workers must be saints or something or maybe because it's not their own kids, but some days I wish I could just be alone!

**I know I am very fortunate to get to stay home and love getting to spend so much time with DD most days, but some days just suck.**

Yes to all of this. I could have written exactly this.

I have ups and downs as a SAHM anyways, but adding this inconvenient belly and all the pregnancy symptoms and the struggles are kicked up a lot. And it's not that I don't WANT to go out and do anything.... It's just difficult and usually ends with me feeling more sore. Plus, there's that nagging to-do list....

I think a lot of it is that I feel the pressure of the looming EDD and I want things to be as in order as they can be because I know I'm not going to have time once baby comes. I just want a fresh start with a clean-ish, decluttered house! 😩 But, like you said, the toddler makes messes faster than I can clean up. Plus my own "messes" that pile up. And MH's stuff. It's never ending. And I feel the concept of "opportunity cost" SO strongly these days. Every task I choose to do, comes at the cost of something else not getting done. Usually I'm able to balance this better, but with the extra tasks, the slowness of my poor body and a deadline, it's been much, much harder.

Hugs to you too 💓

[Nymeria]

Hugs to you both.

Sorry about the additional stress with YH right now, @tbirdlove. I hope you can find a way to connect and enjoy your anniversary, but I know that can be so hard while dealing with so much other "noise" in life.

[meggriffin]

Sorry ladies, this home stretch is so hard. I also often feel like I am not doing my part, I have started taking on very small tasks and setting small goals so I can feel like I am contributing in some way. I just keep telling myself there is an end in sight.

[meggriffin]

I am feeling the Braxton Hicks tonight, it’s so strange how one pregnancy can be so different then the next.

I didn’t feel one contraction with my first I until I was in labor. This time around I get them randomly and they can be a little intense. I really thought the whole planned c section was going to spare ever feeling a contraction this time around.

[tbirdlove]

Aug 7, 2018 21:09:53 GMT -6 meggriffin said:

I am feeling the Braxton Hicks tonight, it’s so strange how one pregnancy can be so different then the next.

I didn’t feel one contraction with my first I until I was in labor. This time around I get them randomly and they can be a little intense. I really thought the whole planned c section was going to spare ever feeling a contraction this time around.

Mine can be a little intense too. They often make me stop and kinda grunt a little 😂

[meggriffin]

Aug 7, 2018 21:15:53 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

Aug 7, 2018 21:09:53 GMT -6 meggriffin said:

I am feeling the Braxton Hicks tonight, it’s so strange how one pregnancy can be so different then the next.

I didn’t feel one contraction with my first I until I was in labor. This time around I get them randomly and they can be a little intense. I really thought the whole planned c section was going to spare ever feeling a contraction this time around.

Mine can be a little intense too. They often make me stop and kinda grunt a little 😂

Haha, that’s fun in public

[tbirdlove]

I just thought of a funny story I should have shared! We were at Home Depot - me, MH and DS. I was having a rough day physically and was waddling hard core. MH went ahead so we could move our shopping process along. He comes back to find me waddling my way down the aisle, looking miserable, with the ROCKY SONG playing in the store! 😂 I looked at him and said that the song was very suiting right now and we both started cracking up!

[tbirdlove]

This baby has been kicking and jabbing and squirming around for an hour and 45 minutes straight while I'm trying to sleep. I've been awake for so long that I am hungry again. So now I am downstairs stuffing my face and it's nearly 3am..... After the lousy emotional day I had, you've got to be kidding me with this. I am so tired.

[Nymeria]

Aug 7, 2018 21:33:34 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

I just thought of a funny story I should have shared! We were at Home Depot - me, MH and DS. I was having a rough day physically and was waddling hard core. MH went ahead so we could move our shopping process along. He comes back to find me waddling my way down the aisle, looking miserable, with the ROCKY SONG playing in the store! 😂 I looked at him and said that the song was very suiting right now and we both started cracking up!

😂😂😂😂

[Nymeria]

Aug 8, 2018 1:01:25 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

This baby has been kicking and jabbing and squirming around for an hour and 45 minutes straight while I'm trying to sleep. I've been awake for so long that I am hungry again. So now I am downstairs stuffing my face and it's nearly 3am..... After the lousy emotional day I had, you've got to be kidding me with this. I am so tired.

Ugh. Hope you managed to doze again for a bit at least after snack time.

[ftwr]

Y'all are allowed to feel overwhelmed and miserable, even if you SAH. Like, I deal with bullshit at work but at least when I leave, the bullshit stays here. Y'all don't get that. If I were at home all day with DD, even though she's 6, I'd be pulling my hair out at the end of every day.

[tbirdlove]

Aug 8, 2018 6:25:13 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

Aug 8, 2018 1:01:25 GMT -6 tbirdlove said:

This baby has been kicking and jabbing and squirming around for an hour and 45 minutes straight while I'm trying to sleep. I've been awake for so long that I am hungry again. So now I am downstairs stuffing my face and it's nearly 3am..... After the lousy emotional day I had, you've got to be kidding me with this. I am so tired.

Ugh. Hope you managed to doze again for a bit at least after snack time.

Think I finally got to sleep a little after 3:30. Baby was STILL going for a while after I laid back down. It was such an oddly long period of activity. Thankfully DS is not an early riser.

[getdownplease]

tbirdlove, we talk a lot on my other board about the "mental load" mothers carry. Working mothers, SAHMs, it's all the same and your complaints are very familiar! www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/

[brenna]

mirabelle I've been wondering how the magnesium has been helping with your restless legs. 2 nights ago mine were so bad I only got a few hours of sleep, but with only 5 weeks left I don't know if I just tough it out or try something.

[Nymeria]

I generally don't sleep with my FitBit on but decided to last night. I was laying in bed before 11, but it didn't register me as asleep until just after midnight. I knew it took me a long time to fall asleep, but it's crazy to see it tracked. It also only shows 10 minutes of deep sleep. I'm sure they're not totally accurate, but 10 minutes?? The app says "If you're feeling extra refreshed, you likely spent some solid time in this stage." No wonder I can't seem to get going today...

[justinbobby]

tbirdlove, sorry you’re having such a crappy day/week. I gotta give you SAHM’s major credit, your job is hard as hell and not always acknowledged as such. Hope you feel better soon!

[justinbobby]

Aug 8, 2018 9:16:58 GMT -6 getdownplease said:

tbirdlove, we talk a lot on my other board about the "mental load" mothers carry. Working mothers, SAHMs, it's all the same and your complaints are very familiar! www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/

That’s a great article. Reminds me of the time I asked for my car to be cleaned and detailed as a Mother’s Day present and my DH was trying to get me to change my mind and ask for something he could buy. When I didn’t waiver he kept pushing it off and saying, let’s find a time we call all go down to Delta Sonic and get your car washed. I’m thinking, NO how about you just take my car in your free time and get it done. Well needless to say it never got cleaned and detailed, this was maybe 2 years ago now I should show him this article.

[mirabelle]

Aug 8, 2018 10:08:46 GMT -6 brenna said:

mirabelle I've been wondering how the magnesium has been helping with your restless legs. 2 nights ago mine were so bad I only got a few hours of sleep, but with only 5 weeks left I don't know if I just tough it out or try something.

It helps, but it gives me a terrible stomach ache so I can’t decide if it’s worth it or not. I take one every couple days.

[brenna]

Aug 8, 2018 11:28:49 GMT -6 mirabelle said:

Aug 8, 2018 10:08:46 GMT -6 brenna said:

mirabelle I've been wondering how the magnesium has been helping with your restless legs. 2 nights ago mine were so bad I only got a few hours of sleep, but with only 5 weeks left I don't know if I just tough it out or try something.

It helps, but it gives me a terrible stomach ache so I can’t decide if it’s worth it or not. I take one every couple days.

ugh bummer! I wish there was a magical way to fix restless legs!

[tbirdlove]

getdownplease I've read that article before! I remember having a lot of conversations with a friend about the mental load of motherhood when our babies (who are very close in age) were younger.

[tbirdlove]

Thanks for all the support ladies 💓

I talked to my OB today about my mental/emotional state and she agreed that what I was saying sounded like "normal" pregnancy things and didn't raise any red flags. I have a history of depression so I always try to be very aware of my feelings when I start feeling down or overly emotional.

Baby is head down today. But I'm wondering if baby just got back into that position last night with all the acrobatics, because this morning has brought on a fun new symptom! (That exclamation point is meant with serious sarcasm.) Baby has found a position that is putting pressure on my sciatic nerve and it's causing a tingling sensation down my leg(s). It feels like my leg has fallen asleep a little. On my right side it goes all the way down to my toes 😒 Plus, that nerve in my groin that radiates down my inner thigh is getting hit again too. My Dr said that the tingling in my legs could potentially be an ongoing issue through the rest of my pregnancy - like the carpal tunnel symptoms can be. Please, no 😭

[tbirdlove]

So, I was looking through photos of when I was pg with DS. I found pictures that I had set up the bassinet in my room already at 33 weeks! I was going to wait until around 35 weeks this time to set it up and wash all the linens and baby clothes. But I might start working on that stuff this weekend. Maybe having the true necessities ready will make me feel a little more settled and "ready".

[mirabelle]

Nesting has set in and I’m basically at Target every other day.

[Nymeria]

Yay for head down tbirdlove but I hope baby finds a head down position that doesn't mess with your sciatic nerve! I'm glad your OB believes this is "normal" pregnancy emotional stuff still at this point, but it's a great thing to be aware that more could have been going on and to have brought it up to your dr.

[brenna]

Every morning if I wake up after 4am to pee I absolutely cannot fall back asleep. Today was one of those mornings.

Also I've had more red spotting this morning and it seems like my ob is not too worried about it but I don't know at what point it is just normal pregnancy stuff and at what point it is worrisome. I sent her a message to ask but I feel like I'm being annoying about it or something.

[Nymeria]

brenna - It's probably normal pregnancy stuff, but the best person to hear that from is your OB! That's what they're there for - don't feel like you're being annoying by asking questions!!