sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 11, 2018 17:31:04 GMT -6
Come share your stressy fears here. Please. Hopefully we can all comfort eachother.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 11, 2018 17:34:56 GMT -6
OK, so, my boobs go back and forth between super sore and not sore at all. This is messing with my mind. I need them to hurt ALL THE TIME.
And there was one pin point of dark blood when I was spotting...so my mind is like "what if that was the baby coming out and your body just hasn't realize it yet".
I don't believe anything bad is going to happen this time. But I'm so worried that I'll get too attached and then we lose the pregnancy again like last time and I'll feel dumb for being so confident about everything.
My mind is a mess.
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Post by strawberrykiki on Jun 12, 2018 8:12:28 GMT -6
Do you feel your own boobs throughout the day to make sure they still hurt?? Haha I do. 🙄. And going to the bathroom is stressful because I’m so worried there might be blood when I wipe!! 6 weeks tomorrow and it feels like sooo long to go before I can maybe breath a little easier.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 12, 2018 8:38:09 GMT -6
Do you feel your own boobs throughout the day to make sure they still hurt?? Haha I do. 🙄. And going to the bathroom is stressful because I’m so worried there might be blood when I wipe!! 6 weeks tomorrow and it feels like sooo long to go before I can maybe breath a little easier. Yes! I keep taking bathroom breaks to push on them to make sure they're at least a little sore. But they're messing with me. Some days they stop hurting almost completely which is doing my mind in! And yes to looking for blood. I'll even turn the light on in the middle of the night to check. And today I have a stomach ache. It's likely gas but my mind is saying "what if it's something serious?" especially since today is a day the boobs aren't hurting much. But I peed on a FRER again this morning and the test line is still darker than yesterday and way darker than the control line. I got betas drawn yesterday but my doctor won't interpret them until after I do the repeat tomorrow...so Thursday will hopefully give me a better picture:/ Waiting is hard. When is your first US?
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Post by strawberrykiki on Jun 12, 2018 18:25:29 GMT -6
Do you feel your own boobs throughout the day to make sure they still hurt?? Haha I do. 🙄. And going to the bathroom is stressful because I’m so worried there might be blood when I wipe!! 6 weeks tomorrow and it feels like sooo long to go before I can maybe breath a little easier. Yes! I keep taking bathroom breaks to push on them to make sure they're at least a little sore. But they're messing with me. Some days they stop hurting almost completely which is doing my mind in! And yes to looking for blood. I'll even turn the light on in the middle of the night to check. And today I have a stomach ache. It's likely gas but my mind is saying "what if it's something serious?" especially since today is a day the boobs aren't hurting much. But I peed on a FRER again this morning and the test line is still darker than yesterday and way darker than the control line. I got betas drawn yesterday but my doctor won't interpret them until after I do the repeat tomorrow...so Thursday will hopefully give me a better picture:/ Waiting is hard. When is your first US? I’m glad I’m not the only one! My boobs hurt the most in the morning and sometimes not so much during the day. And yes to turning on the light at night! Every time no blood I breath a huge sigh of relief!! My first ultrasound is next week. I can’t wait but I’m nervous because I’ll only be 7 weeks according to when my last period was. But I know I ovulated a few days late in my cycle so I’m worried it’ll be too early and I’ll have days and days of freaking out if they can’t see anything. Sigh. When is yours?
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 12, 2018 18:56:54 GMT -6
strawberrykiki I haven't actually had an appointment yet...because my loss was earlier this year I've just been talking to my doctor on the phone and going for the repeat betas. My first appointment is the 19th. I think they'll suggest an early ultrasound again around 8 weeks but I'm torn as to whether I want to go at 8 weeks or just wait until 10...or even the NT scan. I can't handle going too early and then stressing about them not seeing what they're supposed to for 2 weeks. Can't do it. Good luck at yours! I'm sure it will go well. But I totally get the stress. If they don't see something right away I am probably going to have a melt down.
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Post by strawberrykiki on Jun 13, 2018 7:58:30 GMT -6
strawberrykiki I haven't actually had an appointment yet...because my loss was earlier this year I've just been talking to my doctor on the phone and going for the repeat betas. My first appointment is the 19th. I think they'll suggest an early ultrasound again around 8 weeks but I'm torn as to whether I want to go at 8 weeks or just wait until 10...or even the NT scan. I can't handle going too early and then stressing about them not seeing what they're supposed to for 2 weeks. Can't do it. Good luck at yours! I'm sure it will go well. But I totally get the stress. If they don't see something right away I am probably going to have a melt down. I know! I am really worried they won’t see anything yet. But today I’m feeling sick which sucks but makes me feel better too because hopefully that means things are going how they’re supposed to and levels are rising. ((Hugs))
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 13, 2018 9:06:08 GMT -6
strawberrykiki I'm sure they'll see something and it will go well! My nausea kicked in last night ish which is way earlier than it did with DD. I'm also calling this a good sign. I feel like crap but am SOOOO happy about it. I'm going for my repeat betas today so I'm hoping for good news tomorrow.
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Post by sunshiney on Jun 18, 2018 18:12:55 GMT -6
Hiya, Sammysam! Glad to have this thread. It's so sudden still that I haven't had time for it to sink in, much less freak out yet. But I'm sure it's coming. I'm on endometrin suppositories which make me spot (and drip gloppy white gunk) continually so I just have to let that go!
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 18, 2018 18:19:21 GMT -6
Ahh sunshiney I'm hoping we can help each other through this. I was in a huge tail spin a couple of weeks ago but I've decided to just try to breath and know that I can't control it but I'm going to enjoy it. The early nausea is at least making me feel better. Sorry you have to deal with the spotting. One day of it just about killed me. But at least you know what it is and why it's there so hopefully you'll be able to embrace it and not let it do your head in!
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Post by sunshiney on Jun 18, 2018 18:34:16 GMT -6
sammysam Yep! I also have a pain in my left boob that comes and goes, hurts when I lay on either boob. I know that will get worse, fast. Last time, by 6 weeks I'd grown 2+ cup sizes and bought new bras! Honestly I can't wait for that part. The nausea isn't strong yet but I keep reminding myself it's way early still. I felt big waves of it Sat. before I knew. I have this theory that our body gets used to the hormones after a bit, which explains the on and off nature of it early on...
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 18, 2018 18:41:18 GMT -6
sunshiney Makes perfect sense. And my boobs didn't grow at all with DD...and they're small to start with. I felt totally ripped off. But I swear mine are already like 2 sizes bigger this time. I'm busting out of my maternity and nursing bras. I don't mind this at all:) The nausea really just started for me a day or two ago. I had HG with DD and it hit hard at 6 weeks so I'm expecting the same this time around.
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Post by sunshiney on Jun 18, 2018 18:41:51 GMT -6
sammysam That's awesome!!! (the boobs, not the HG)
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tngrl3
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Post by tngrl3 on Jun 19, 2018 3:07:42 GMT -6
Ugh. I had a ridiculously really seeming dream last night that I was having tons of bleeding. I woke up in a panic. Thankfully it was just a dream but I didn't sleep well the rest of the night. I was already having the paranoia of checking for blood every time I wipe and this didn't help.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 4:33:46 GMT -6
Ugh. I had a ridiculously really seeming dream last night that I was having tons of bleeding. I woke up in a panic. Thankfully it was just a dream but I didn't sleep well the rest of the night. I was already having the paranoia of checking for blood every time I wipe and this didn't help. I'm so sorry. I had this dream constantly with my last pregnancy. Luckily I've only had it once with this one. Those dreams are the worst. Hopefully as you start to feel more comfortable with the pregnancy your subconscious will stop F***ing with you. It's not fair to have to stress about dreams along with everything else.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 7:41:13 GMT -6
I was hoping not to have my first us until my NT scan at around 12 weeks. No such luck. They want me to get an early one at like 7 weeks...that's only 2 weeks away:( I'm not ready. I was blissfully ignorant last time until my first us. Then they said it was likely ok just too early so I stressed and cried for like 3 weeks while waiting for my next one. I was hoping to avoid that this time. I wanted to go late enough that whatever they saw would be conclusive. I'm so worried they won't see what they are supposed to and I'll just be stressing out all over again. At least if they don't see anything at 12 weeks then you know...there's no waiting period. No limbo. Blah.
I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting to get my blood and urine tests done now.
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Post by notagoddess on Jun 19, 2018 7:54:42 GMT -6
sammysam, hugs! Limbo is awful. Are you fairly certain of your ovulation date? Hopefully the scan will not be ambiguous in any way, and you will end up feeling reassured afterwards.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 8:59:07 GMT -6
sammysam, hugs! Limbo is awful. Are you fairly certain of your ovulation date? Hopefully the scan will not be ambiguous in any way, and you will end up feeling reassured afterwards. Yeah. I was tracking everything so I know exactly how far along I am. I'm hoping it will be a good scan. I'm just nervous. There is no reason this should not be completely fine...but I thought that last time as well... On the flip side if it does go well then I'll be much calmer moving forward.
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tngrl3
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Post by tngrl3 on Jun 19, 2018 9:18:45 GMT -6
sammysam hopefully the US will show everything is on track. I agree that limbo is the worst. I've been there. My OB does early US so I intentionally didnt schedule my first visit until 8 weeks with DD and plan to so the same this time.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 9:55:29 GMT -6
sammysam hopefully the US will show everything is on track. I agree that limbo is the worst. I've been there. My OB does early US so I intentionally didnt schedule my first visit until 8 weeks with DD and plan to so the same this time. I hadn't even thought of that! Brilliant! I'm just hoping now that all the ultrasound places are so busy that they won't be able to fit me in for a few more weeks. Wishful thinking, but even if they could wait until 10 weeks I'd feel so much better about going:/
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Post by sunshiney on Jun 19, 2018 19:28:40 GMT -6
sammysam I do like the idea that if all is well, then all is well! But I hear you. If you're sure of the O date, then from what I understand, there absolutely must be a heartbeat at 7 weeks in a healthy pregnancy...so hopefully there would be no ambiguity? Or perhaps I'm wrong on that? I'm sorry though. I'm in a similar emotional state, I am actually feeling calm and oblivious and really don't want to get back in that impatient, scared place again. Don't even care that I have to wait 4 days for a second beta, wouldn't mind just trucking along without any monitoring at the moment...so relieved to be PG, don't want to risk changing that for as long as possible!
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 19:57:02 GMT -6
sammysam I do like the idea that if all is well, then all is well! But I hear you. If you're sure of the O date, then from what I understand, there absolutely must be a heartbeat at 7 weeks in a healthy pregnancy...so hopefully there would be no ambiguity? Or perhaps I'm wrong on that? I'm sorry though. I'm in a similar emotional state, I am actually feeling calm and oblivious and really don't want to get back in that impatient, scared place again. Don't even care that I have to wait 4 days for a second beta, wouldn't mind just trucking along without any monitoring at the moment...so relieved to be PG, don't want to risk changing that for as long as possible! Yes! Exactly this. Even though I am 99% sure things are fine just the fact that I had to get more blood work done today has me stressed out. If something is wrong I kind of don't want to know about it just yet. I am hoping that the us will end up going well and will calm me down a bit. I know once I see a heart beat I will feel ok. It's the "what if I don't" voice. And the us techs here aren't actually supposed to tell you or show you anything. The only reason I knew anything was wrong the last time is because the tech broke protocol. So if I don't get told anything I might have a full on break down. It's just that last time I went for a us a 8 weeks. They called to say things on the us weren't clear and they wanted to repeat the us in 2-3 weeks. So I was just in limbo while I waited. I wish they would have been able to tell me definitively then that I was going to lose the pregnancy. Instead it went on for 5 more weeks:/
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 19, 2018 20:10:37 GMT -6
sunshiney Do you have your second betas on Thursday? Will you get the results the same day or do you have to wait? Everything crossed that your numbers look good. I know they will but I'll still cross things anyways:) I'm crossing things for myself that I don't hear from my doctor between tomorrow and Friday so between your betas and my tests I'll be a twisted bundle of fingers and toes.
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tngrl3
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Post by tngrl3 on Jun 20, 2018 7:34:43 GMT -6
I'm not in a good head space today. I have all the symptoms so I don't know why I'm so worried. I took another test this morning because I was worried. Got a very dark line but I'm still struggling.
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sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Jun 20, 2018 8:15:19 GMT -6
I'm not in a good head space today. I have all the symptoms so I don't know why I'm so worried. I took another test this morning because I was worried. Got a very dark line but I'm still struggling. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way:/ I felt that way yesterday after they sent me for all the bloodwork again. I had a dream last night that they called me to tell me my betas were going down. Just a dream but still. I'm just sitting here waiting for bad news even though rationally I know things are probably fine. I am right there with you. But know that if there is no indication that anything is wrong then it is likely that nothing is wrong:) I wish there were any words that would make you feel any better but I know there aren't. The mantra "hope doesn't make bad things happen" has been helping me a lot lately.
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Post by sunshiney on Jun 21, 2018 6:09:25 GMT -6
+1 to fear of betas dropping. Got 2nd beta this morning and am just trying to ignore that fact. I'm so sick of the experience of agonizing hour by hour, minute by minute, being constantly focused on it and distracted. tngrl3 So sorry. It's such a roller coaster ride. Yesterday and this morning I was all weepy, DH was a champ about it, this morning I was finally like "oh I think this is hormones!" and he's like, "Not sure if you will want to hear this, but yes, that crossed my mind." Point being, we have some strong hormones coursing around telling our brains to feel things, and it's hard to combat! I have had some great luck with the PAIF mantras, especially "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." Focusing on loving another sometimes helps me get out of my own negative headspace. This may or may not help you, but something else I have done each pregnancy is focus on making memories with the LO so I have something to look back on and make this pregnancy special whether or not it continues - so trying to be in the moment and observe the world, people, and especially nature around me, talking to the baby about everything so it's like we're experiencing it together. It gives me something concrete to do in response to the obsession that's so hard to escape, and I have been really glad to have these special memories of LOs we lost. Anyway, whatever helps (or even if nothing does!), you're not alone - it's normal and understandable to feel this way, and just know that no feelings are permanent!
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Post by notagoddess on Jun 21, 2018 7:09:35 GMT -6
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Post by notagoddess on Jun 21, 2018 7:13:31 GMT -6
I've been POAS every day since getting that first shadow at 8 DPO. I've gotten a lot of comfort from the lines getting darker, especially in the past few days, but at this point I feel like I need to stop. I'm definitely pregnant, it's unlikely to be a CP, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change the outcome of this pregnancy.
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tngrl3
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Post by tngrl3 on Jun 21, 2018 7:35:07 GMT -6
A little bit. Thanks for asking . I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'm pregnant today and enjoy that.
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cch
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Post by cch on Jul 3, 2018 17:33:56 GMT -6
Does anyone have experience with a retroverted and/or retroflexed uterus? My OB told me I had both today. She told me it should switch to a normal position as it comes up and out of my pelvis by week 12. After googling it that seems to be what usually happens but there’s a small chance it won’t and could cause complications. I don’t remember being told the position of my uterus with my DD and the OB I had with her recently left so I wasn’t able to ask her if it was the same way then. Since I had a loss at 12 weeks a few years ago my PGAL brain is kicking in full force 😕
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