mack
Amethyst
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Post by mack on May 24, 2018 7:03:10 GMT -6
I am still !!!!!!?@!?!!?!? over the fact that @ctg30 thinks that ::waves hands:: all of this/TB/her was drama for the sake of drama. I mean hot damn talk about flat out refusing to see the actual issue at hand. Not to mention that it belittles the very valid feelings and reactions that people had about what was said. And it is also placing the feelings of the white women above the feelings of the WOC.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:05:18 GMT -6
I mean just to be consistent there have been a lot of people that have said I have not read everything on all sides.
To answer the other question about when are you going to read? Who fucking knows. I get on and there are 20 more pages, tags, and quotes. The consensus was what tb said was foul. She is gone. It's not high on my priority list.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:08:52 GMT -6
I am still !!!!!!?@!?!!?!? over the fact that @ctg30 thinks that ::waves hands:: all of this/TB/her was drama for the sake of drama. I mean hot damn talk about flat out refusing to see the actual issue at hand. I didn't read it like that. I can't speak for her. I received it as the newly woke white woman brigade doing the most and showing out. I could be wrong.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:09:16 GMT -6
White women really are exhausting, huh :: inserts “you don’t say” meme::
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:09:40 GMT -6
I would just drop thisbitch from my conversation @ctg30 if you haven't read it all.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:12:31 GMT -6
I am still !!!!!!?@!?!!?!? over the fact that @ctg30 thinks that ::waves hands:: all of this/TB/her was drama for the sake of drama. I mean hot damn talk about flat out refusing to see the actual issue at hand. I didn't read it like that. I can't speak for her. I received it as the newly woke white woman brigade doing the most and showing out. I could be wrong. She also mentioned the newly woke, but part of what she said was that people just needed more drama. I don't agree with that sentiment.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:14:40 GMT -6
I mean just to be consistent there have been a lot of people that have said I have not read everything on all sides. To answer the other question about when are you going to read? Who fucking knows. I get on and there are 20 more pages, tags, and quotes. The consensus was what tb said was foul. She is gone. It's not high on my priority list. Okay, but did you say you’ve been meddling over this all night? Also, to your above point, nobody asked for another apology. @ctg30 came in here with assumptions as to what was going on. Nobody here is asking for another apology. This thread isn’t about that.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:15:19 GMT -6
"I feel like The board was thirsty for more drama and pulling me back in here" McBenny this is what I was speaking to. In the context of her post it is not about the newly woke white women (which I am sure I'm lumped into and I agree must be annoying AF for woc to see) but about seeking drama and simply deciding she was the target. As she believes was also the case with thisbitch, apparently.
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Post by angelashly on May 24, 2018 7:15:53 GMT -6
Also, and obviously I realize that we all have real lives and some of us have kids and Hs and jobs and shit...whennnn will people come up with better excuses than "I was tending to my real life" so I couldn't respond to this v v important discussion. Never because it is an easy out
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:16:51 GMT -6
@ctg30 specifically said that bringing up race INTIALLY was to cause drama, and if you want to ignore that fact, to prove some alternate point, than so be it.
None of this is to find a solution. Ctg was brought into the conversation to provide additional bullet points, nobody is calling for her to keep apologizing. She continued that narrative.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
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Post by sterling on May 24, 2018 7:17:01 GMT -6
I didn't read it like that. I can't speak for her. I received it as the newly woke white woman brigade doing the most and showing out. I could be wrong. She also mentioned the newly woke, but part of what she said was that people just needed more drama. I don't agree with that sentiment. I’m sure it’s some drama seekers because message board, but I generally agree with you. And FTR @ctg30, TB was not flamed away from the board by a drama hungry mob. She posted a heel digging in thread and deactivated before anyone responded.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on May 24, 2018 7:17:38 GMT -6
I am speaking for myself here on this one - for me @ctg30 came back and addressed the situation and I thought apologized at the time (whether it was good enough or not is subjective). I alluded to that in the context of different people get different treatment. I said multiple times not saying these people need to be dragged or not. This is why for me I didn't tag anyone. My point was not about revisiting but about the different treatment. Some have been honest and said well I don't like this person whereas I like this one. So that ended it for me. I feel like @ctg30 makes some valid points. I do feel there are some people who want to appear down or whatever and appear out for blood. I feel her statement "that every self congratulatory self proclaimed woke AF white woman here should remember we all have stuff to learn" is true. We are not going to solve racism here. So I don't know what some people are looking for or what their end game is? It does appear as though some want to keep up the mess. Ultimately people will come to their own conclusion (or I would hope) and interact how and with who they want to. It’s the refusal to see the other side of things for me. And yes we won’t cure racism here but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some very real self reflection in the recent years because of this board.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:17:59 GMT -6
Quite honestly I can’t fucking do this bullshit.
I bet next is, “But I said in MY opinion”. Good grief.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:19:51 GMT -6
I didn't read it like that. I can't speak for her. I received it as the newly woke white woman brigade doing the most and showing out. I could be wrong. She also mentioned the newly woke, but part of what she said was that people just needed more drama. I don't agree with that sentiment. I do feel that some are entertained and yes looking for more drama. I don't feel everyone is genuine in their new outrage given board history and dynamics in the past when similar situations have occurred. That is my opinion. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:21:07 GMT -6
I am speaking for myself here on this one - for me @ctg30 came back and addressed the situation and I thought apologized at the time (whether it was good enough or not is subjective). I alluded to that in the context of different people get different treatment. I said multiple times not saying these people need to be dragged or not. This is why for me I didn't tag anyone. My point was not about revisiting but about the different treatment. Some have been honest and said well I don't like this person whereas I like this one. So that ended it for me. I feel like @ctg30 makes some valid points. I do feel there are some people who want to appear down or whatever and appear out for blood. I feel her statement "that every self congratulatory self proclaimed woke AF white woman here should remember we all have stuff to learn" is true. We are not going to solve racism here. So I don't know what some people are looking for or what their end game is? It does appear as though some want to keep up the mess. Ultimately people will come to their own conclusion (or I would hope) and interact how and with who they want to. It’s the refusal to see the other side of things for me. And yes we won’t cure racism here but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some very real self reflection in the recent years because of this board. I didn't say her whole post was correct. I took out the parts I am speaking to and said I feel these points are valid.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:21:46 GMT -6
She also mentioned the newly woke, but part of what she said was that people just needed more drama. I don't agree with that sentiment. I’m sure it’s some drama seekers because message board, but I generally agree with you. And FTR @ctg30 , TB was not flamed away from the board by a drama hungry mob. She posted a heel digging in thread and deactivated before anyone responded. I tried to respond to this but it got eaten. The jist: if you are going to compare your situation to another, the very least you can do is read the other so that you know wtf you're even comparing.
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:22:37 GMT -6
I didn't read it like that. I can't speak for her. I received it as the newly woke white woman brigade doing the most and showing out. I could be wrong. I think you may be projecting your thoughts on to hers and I suspect they aren’t coming from the same place but I could be wrong. You could be correct. I am not in her head and don't know what she meant by it as I stated. I am speaking to how I read it.
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sterling
Global Moderator
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Post by sterling on May 24, 2018 7:22:55 GMT -6
I’m sure it’s some drama seekers because message board, but I generally agree with you. And FTR @ctg30 , TB was not flamed away from the board by a drama hungry mob. She posted a heel digging in thread and deactivated before anyone responded. I tried to respond to this but it got eaten. The jist: if you are going to compare your situation to another, the very least you can do is read the other so that you know wtf you're even comparing. AKA: Doing the least.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:23:32 GMT -6
I’m sure it’s some drama seekers because message board, but I generally agree with you. And FTR @ctg30 , TB was not flamed away from the board by a drama hungry mob. She posted a heel digging in thread and deactivated before anyone responded. I tried to respond to this but it got eaten. The jist: if you are going to compare your situation to another, the very least you can do is read the other so that you know wtf you're even comparing. agreed
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on May 24, 2018 7:24:37 GMT -6
Hi. No, not ghosting. I had kid sports stuff last night and MH is away. And quite frankly, I wanted to gather my thoughts before responding again. I was tagged into a thread in which the initial premise had been about posters who were suspected trolls but apparently the conversation has shifted and I see that ThisBitch was apparently called out for something that happened in a Meat Washing thread, which I never read. I see she had then attempted to apologize and was flamed to the point of deactivation. Now the conversation in here shifts to comparing her treatment after whatever transpired to mine after my comments in the UO thread a few weeks back. If there was the elephant in the room, why is it that no one addressed this with me directly until this point? There was not one single p.m. or other conversation happening. So if this is something people wish to rehash with me specifically, the timing and the premise of it had me immediately like wtf is going on in here?? Especially after seeing what went down with this bitch. What I meant by saying here we go with the racist gauntlet is that it seems like posters who otherwise have no history of malicious intent are put through the ringer and then labeled a racist and chewed up and spit out. In some cases it appears to be accurate such as whoever was targeting someone IRL at their workplace and sending offensive items. In all the years I have posted with this bitch, I have never gotten a malicious intent from her and I feel like The board was thirsty for more drama and pulling me back in here. I am all for constructive conversation but this was not the way to initiate it. I’ve been on this board for over 8 years - I have always put it under the same screen name and never had an AE and I consider myself to be a pretty drama free person here. What is also kind of interesting to me is that people I don’t normally interact with in 99% of the other threads here are the first in line when it comes to commenting in this thread and in the UO thread earlier in the month. It’s funny who seems thirsty for drama. I just want to add that no shit, WOC are not here to literally teach a course on how not to be a dick white person but that we learn from each other through our general interactions on this board / take on situations & see how people perceive the same thing differently. It IS up to us to open our own eyes to that and change behavior accordingly. If there is to be constructive conversation happening here, perhaps it needs to occur outside of a thread where people have already deactivated and the first half of it has basically been riddled with drama coming from other boards and talking about people who are suspected to be trolls. I’ve watched people apologize / post honestly and be met with mocking and gifs so what do we suggest, guys? I’m not ghosting. Work has been nuts & ive got plans tonight after work. Will read when I can. I think you are giving too much credit to lack of malicious intent. I don't think that you or thibitch are bad, malicious people. But I think your jumping to defensive mode is clouding your ability to see that you can have racial biases or not understand why certain things are problematic (I mean I think applies to A LOT of us) or even be racist without malicious intent. Racism is so ingrained in all of us. The "but I'm not racist, I'm not a bad person" narrative is preventing you from being open to seeing that and working on fixing it. So you will go on and live your non-racist life for the most part, but will slip up every now and then and continue to hurt people and nothing will change. The fact that no one really hashed it out with you prior to this was a big part of the conversation that happened here. That many of us are willing to let things slide, because it's hard to have these conversations with people we like. I was just about to say this, so I am glad I read this page before sounding repetitive. To continue to double down on the "no malicious intent" idea ignores that an abundance of posters have already pointed out how most, if not all, of us, say/think things that are biased/microaggressions, etc, without having express cognitive malice about it. To shut that out by insisting that you/she/whoever is inherently a good person is ignoring the problem. (I realize that is your point as well, I'm just adding my agreement)
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:28:36 GMT -6
I mean...we all agree by this point that EVEN WITHOUT MALICIOUS INTENT, one can still be racist/prejudiced/biased/problematic, yes? And its our own personal job to check that. And to check each other, when possible. And to learn from it so that we stop doing it.
Like isn't a big part of the reason why racism is so rampant well-intended white folks who "don't see color" or other macro/microaggressions?
*I am not trying to be woke - I know I am far from it, I am just musing on this.
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Kida
Emerald
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Post by Kida on May 24, 2018 7:33:14 GMT -6
I think it’s a tl;dr of why she posted here. And the details are the proof it happened kinda thing. But they are two different robberies? I can't keep up in my sleep-deprived state. Gretchen was just being an asshole to ripper with that post. Like calling bullshit because the first thing ripper did was post it.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,412 Likes: 297,401
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Post by McBenny on May 24, 2018 7:33:14 GMT -6
I mean just to be consistent there have been a lot of people that have said I have not read everything on all sides. To answer the other question about when are you going to read? Who fucking knows. I get on and there are 20 more pages, tags, and quotes. The consensus was what tb said was foul. She is gone. It's not high on my priority list. I am definitely one of the people that doesn't read everything. Like most of the time I don't read everything. I think an exception would be finding myself at the eye of this kind of shitstorm and being in the place where I need to throw down over it. I'd probably gather some facts. I did make a separate post stating this. I would leave tb out of your narrative if you have not read everything.
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Post by sheilathetank on May 24, 2018 7:34:17 GMT -6
I will never understand the need for white women to dig their heals in in conversations like this. All it proves is that you really aren't "listening and learning". Regardless of what your intent is, you end up looking like a bigger ass than you initially did. It's not that hard to say "I fucked up, I'm sorry." And then SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on May 24, 2018 7:35:15 GMT -6
I mean...we all agree by this point that EVEN WITHOUT MALICIOUS INTENT, one can still be racist/prejudiced/biased/problematic, yes? And its our own personal job to check that. And to check each other, when possible. And to learn from it so that we stop doing it. Like isn't a big part of the reason why racism is so rampant well-intended white folks who "don't see color" or other macro/microaggressions? *I am not trying to be woke - I know I am far from it, I am just musing on this. Well I'm guessing not "we all"...
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:36:41 GMT -6
I mean...we all agree by this point that EVEN WITHOUT MALICIOUS INTENT, one can still be racist/prejudiced/biased/problematic, yes? And its our own personal job to check that. And to check each other, when possible. And to learn from it so that we stop doing it. Like isn't a big part of the reason why racism is so rampant well-intended white folks who "don't see color" or other macro/microaggressions? *I am not trying to be woke - I know I am far from it, I am just musing on this. Well I'm guessing not "we all"... Lol. Yes, true.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2018 7:37:32 GMT -6
@ctg30 specifically said that bringing up race INTIALLY was to cause drama, and if you want to ignore that fact, to prove some alternate point, than so be it. None of this is to find a solution. Ctg was brought into the conversation to provide additional bullet points, nobody is calling for her to keep apologizing. She continued that narrative. Yes, her recent posts dig into the initial ones. She thinks people keep harping on the race stuff for drama purposes. She wants it to go away. This is where it is for me. I’m still struggling to put all of this together. I don’t want people to be labeled racist and banned if they make a mistake and do learn from it. In an ideal world. However, we are not witnessing that right now. We are seeing mistakes made and then in some sort of weird need to make things right more hurtful words are said and more indication is given that the person doesn’t want to accept the truth about what they said. It’s hard to witness. (And I know that is my privilege showing in a huge way. I know WOC have seen this their whole lives and I’m sorry I’m just coming around to this experience) An apology and then continued long posts showing that it’s not sinking in do not a changed person make. It doesn’t go away. We have to accept responsibilities for our words here. Sometimes when we say something, it makes people not want to interact with us (sometimes for a bit, sometimes forever). That’s just how it goes. I don’t know how we move forward, but this is not good.
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Kida
Emerald
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Post by Kida on May 24, 2018 7:38:11 GMT -6
I really didn't feel like the convo with this bitch was a flaming.
She did not leave after a raging fire flaming. She left after a few comments were made about her comments in the meat thread and SHE made an entire thread to bring the attention directly to her. Then dipped.
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Kida
Emerald
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Post by Kida on May 24, 2018 7:41:14 GMT -6
@ctg30 if you think thisbitch was the victim in that situation then i don't even know what to say I missed the meat thread so I don’t know what initially sparked shit there. All I saw was an apology attempt / subsequent flaming. I am going by her history of not coming off as a malicious scumbag. Is the Meat thread / original stuff still there? Malicious scumbag and racist don't always go hand in hand. There are plenty of ppl who think they are doing the right thing but in reality are racist as shit and ppl excuse it because "they're so good the rest of the time."
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on May 24, 2018 7:46:03 GMT -6
If you consider yourself to be sympathetic to the cause, I think it is really hard to look at yourself and realize, and then say out loud, that "oh shit, I am part of the problem". I think that is a big part of why we are where we are.
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