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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:07:53 GMT -6
Backstory: My kids’ school had a fundraiser last month. Based on the amount of donations, the kids are eligible for different parties (example $25 gets a dance party, $50 gets icream party, etc) but if you hit a certain dollar amount the kid would earn the highest level party and get to pick a lower level party as well. Both of my kids (DS 2nd grade & DD Kindergarten) hit that higher donation amount so they should get two parties.
So they posted the party dates/times and they are all 1.5 hours+ after Kindegarten gets out for the day. I can’t take off work to take DD to a 30 minute party and neither can H. So DS will get both parties but DD won’t get either. She’s rightfully bummed and I’m kinda pissed.
I was thinking of emailing the PFC to just give some feedback about the times so they can plan better next year or do something seperate for the Kindergarters. I now it’s said and done this year and they can’t make everyone happy but it still sucks for the kindergarteners who can’t go. On the other hand I don’t want to be that asshole parent either. Would you say something or let it go?
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joy
Global Moderator
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Post by joy on Apr 19, 2018 11:11:23 GMT -6
I’d email and nicely explain the problem so they are aware for next year.
Can no other parents from the class take your daughter?
I’m sorry she’s bummed!!
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Post by notblanche on Apr 19, 2018 11:12:37 GMT -6
That's so disappointing for her! I'd send an email and maybe see if one of my friends/ a friend's parent could take DD.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 11:12:44 GMT -6
Backstory: My kids’ school had a fundraiser last month. Based on the amount of donations, the kids are eligible for different parties (example $25 gets a dance party, $50 gets icream party, etc) but if you hit a certain dollar amount the kid would earn the highest level party and get to pick a lower level party as well. Both of my kids (DS 2nd grade & DD Kindergarten) hit that higher donation amount so they should get two parties. So they posted the party dates/times and they are all 1.5 hours+ after Kindegarten gets out for the day. I can’t take off work to take DD to a 30 minute party and neither can H. So DS will get both parties but DD won’t get either. She’s rightfully bummed and I’m kinda pissed. I was thinking of emailing the PFC to just give some feedback about the times so they can plan better next year or do something seperate for the Kindergarters. I now it’s said and done this year and they can’t make everyone happy but it still sucks for the kindergarteners who can’t go. On the other hand I don’t want to be that asshole parent either. Would you say something or let it go? How can one kid go and not the other? Are they not at the same time? I'm confused
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zoeylucy
Amethyst
Posts: 7,164 Likes: 26,489
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Post by zoeylucy on Apr 19, 2018 11:12:52 GMT -6
I think it is what it is, and there’s not going to be any time everyone can make.
I would take DD to do something special to make up for missing the parties.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 11:13:07 GMT -6
I would see if you can get anyone in her class or a friend or family member to take her
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Post by notblanche on Apr 19, 2018 11:13:12 GMT -6
Backstory: My kids’ school had a fundraiser last month. Based on the amount of donations, the kids are eligible for different parties (example $25 gets a dance party, $50 gets icream party, etc) but if you hit a certain dollar amount the kid would earn the highest level party and get to pick a lower level party as well. Both of my kids (DS 2nd grade & DD Kindergarten) hit that higher donation amount so they should get two parties. So they posted the party dates/times and they are all 1.5 hours+ after Kindegarten gets out for the day. I can’t take off work to take DD to a 30 minute party and neither can H. So DS will get both parties but DD won’t get either. She’s rightfully bummed and I’m kinda pissed. I was thinking of emailing the PFC to just give some feedback about the times so they can plan better next year or do something seperate for the Kindergarters. I now it’s said and done this year and they can’t make everyone happy but it still sucks for the kindergarteners who can’t go. On the other hand I don’t want to be that asshole parent either. Would you say something or let it go? How can one kid go and not the other? Are they not at the same time? I'm confused I am assuming that 2nd grade is full day and K is half. The party is in the afternoon.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 11:13:47 GMT -6
How can one kid go and not the other? Are they not at the same time? I'm confused I am assuming that 2nd grade is full day and K is half. The party is in the afternoon. I guess
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:17:29 GMT -6
I’d email and nicely explain the problem so they are aware for next year. Can no other parents from the class take your daughter? I’m sorry she’s bummed!! Unfortunately the only other parents I’d feel comfortable asking all work too.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2018 11:17:47 GMT -6
I'd say something but not make a big deal. There are lots of things kids and/or parents have to miss out on due to whatever obligation/reason. It would be better for them to know so that maybe they can take that into consideration, but I also wouldn't expect it or be up in arms if they don't.
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:19:53 GMT -6
Backstory: My kids’ school had a fundraiser last month. Based on the amount of donations, the kids are eligible for different parties (example $25 gets a dance party, $50 gets icream party, etc) but if you hit a certain dollar amount the kid would earn the highest level party and get to pick a lower level party as well. Both of my kids (DS 2nd grade & DD Kindergarten) hit that higher donation amount so they should get two parties. So they posted the party dates/times and they are all 1.5 hours+ after Kindegarten gets out for the day. I can’t take off work to take DD to a 30 minute party and neither can H. So DS will get both parties but DD won’t get either. She’s rightfully bummed and I’m kinda pissed. I was thinking of emailing the PFC to just give some feedback about the times so they can plan better next year or do something seperate for the Kindergarters. I now it’s said and done this year and they can’t make everyone happy but it still sucks for the kindergarteners who can’t go. On the other hand I don’t want to be that asshole parent either. Would you say something or let it go? How can one kid go and not the other? Are they not at the same time? I'm confused The parties are at the end of the school day for the 1-5th grade so DS (2nd) will be able to go but DD is out at 11 so gone before the parties start.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 11:20:26 GMT -6
How can one kid go and not the other? Are they not at the same time? I'm confused The parties are at the end of the school day for the 1-5th grade so DS (2nd) will be able to go but DD is out at 11 so gone before the parties start. Does she go to an after school daycare?
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:25:41 GMT -6
I'd say something but not make a big deal. There are lots of things kids and/or parents have to miss out on due to whatever obligation/reason. It would be better for them to know so that maybe they can take that into consideration, but I also wouldn't expect it or be up in arms if they don't. I totally get what you’re saying. Disappointment is a part of life. I guess I’m more irritated with myself because I really talked the parties up to the kids so I feel like I’m letting her down especially sine DS does get to go. We’ll just do something special with her to make up for it.
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:27:47 GMT -6
The parties are at the end of the school day for the 1-5th grade so DS (2nd) will be able to go but DD is out at 11 so gone before the parties start. Does she go to an after school daycare? Yeah, but it’s offsite so I can’t reasonably ask them to take her. We’ll take her to do something special to make up for it.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 11:28:23 GMT -6
Does she go to an after school daycare? Yeah, but it’s offsite so I can’t reasonably ask them to take her. We’ll take her to do something special to make up for it. No I know that I was just thinking if it was a babysitter maybe they could take her.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Apr 19, 2018 11:34:46 GMT -6
I would say something, but not expect anything to come of it. This sort of shit really annoys me because I always assume the party planners are parents who either WFH or SAH and give no thought to people who have to be at work 9-5. I don’t think that’s actually true, but in my head that’s how it is because I have lots of guilt about not being available for school stuff in the middle of the day. So I feel your annoyance but take it with a grain of salt.
If you know a lot of other K parents who are also working and whose kids also won’t be able to go, I think it’s worth pointing out that this is affecting more than just you.
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 11:43:16 GMT -6
I would say something, but not expect anything to come of it. This sort of shit really annoys me because I always assume the party planners are parents who either WFH or SAH and give no thought to people who have to be at work 9-5. I don’t think that’s actually true, but in my head that’s how it is because I have lots of guilt about not being available for school stuff in the middle of the day. So I feel your annoyance but take it with a grain of salt. If you know a lot of other K parents who are also working and whose kids also won’t be able to go, I think it’s worth pointing out that this is affecting more than just you. I’m right there with you. I do my best to make every awards ceremony, conference, etc but I just can’t justify taking a half day to take her to a 30 minute party.
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Post by billyhorrible on Apr 19, 2018 11:44:14 GMT -6
I'd definitely say something. We had something similar at the beginning of the year, but they had a special time for morning kindergartners. So, everyone had a ice cream party at 1:30 (or whenever) but the morning kinders had it at 10:30.
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Post by spicysalmonroll on Apr 19, 2018 11:56:45 GMT -6
How does she get to the off-site daycare? Sorry this is not really related to the party situation, just trying to figure out what I'm going to do when it's time for DS to start Preschool/K. lol
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lizblue
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Post by lizblue on Apr 19, 2018 11:59:40 GMT -6
I think the larger issue is - does the school make an effort to balance scheduling that works for working parents and SAH parents? That's all you can ask for and you should speak up if you feel they don't.
Additionally, this may sound cold/wrong, but I'd also start managing expectations of my kid. Me and H are working parents who already miss stuff and we're only at daycare level (wtf daycare). I grew up with a high-level executive mom who couldn't go to a lot of my school stuff. She tried her best, but I always knew she had to work and I was pretty much fine with it. It was just my reality. It will also be DD's reality. Of course, we will be there for important stuff, but we simply can't be there for every little thing.
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Post by sheilathetank on Apr 19, 2018 12:00:03 GMT -6
I would say something, because this is something she earned and should be able to attend. I wouldn't be as annoyed if it was a regular event, but since it's a reward for hard work, I think it's important that she can go.
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Post by frantastic on Apr 19, 2018 12:00:08 GMT -6
How does she get to the off-site daycare? Sorry this is not really related to the party situation, just trying to figure out what I'm going to do when it's time for DS to start Preschool/K. lol Our daycare picks up from the local elementary schools.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 19, 2018 12:04:33 GMT -6
I would say something, because this is something she earned and should be able to attend. I wouldn't be as annoyed if it was a regular event, but since it's a reward for hard work, I think it's important that she can go. This. Since it is a reward thing the school should either have it during school hours or on the weekend/evening
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 12:05:25 GMT -6
How does she get to the off-site daycare? Sorry this is not really related to the party situation, just trying to figure out what I'm going to do when it's time for DS to start Preschool/K. lol Daycare picks her up from school so it’s super convenient!
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Post by cdnfarmgirl on Apr 19, 2018 12:09:36 GMT -6
How does she get to the off-site daycare? Sorry this is not really related to the party situation, just trying to figure out what I'm going to do when it's time for DS to start Preschool/K. lol This was my fear for this year too. My son started K. We do half day. He is done at 11:30. I’m a teacher. Thankfully- I ended up getting pregnant and now am off all year for maternity leave. Otherwise I have no idea how I would have done it. No daycares in his school area will bring kids to and from school. Still dreading next year when I need before/after care for him too.
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 12:12:39 GMT -6
I think the larger issue is - does the school make an effort to balance scheduling that works for working parents and SAH parents? That's all you can ask for and you should speak up if you feel they don't. Additionally, this may sound cold/wrong, but I'd also start managing expectations of my kid. Me and H are working parents who already miss stuff and we're only at daycare level (wtf daycare). I grew up with a high-level executive mom who couldn't go to a lot of my school stuff. She tried her best, but I always knew she had to work and I was pretty much fine with it. It was just my reality. It will also be DD's reality. Of course, we will be there for important stuff, but we simply can't be there for every little thing. To the first part, yes, the school normally does schedule events better. That’s why it was not on my radar that this timing issue may happen. And, yeah I totally get that things are going to happen that aren’t fair and the earlier she experiences it, the better she’ll learn to handle it. This situation is just tough because she and DS both put in the same work and he’s getting recognized where she isn’t.
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Post by ginandtonic on Apr 19, 2018 12:17:16 GMT -6
So I sent an email with my feedback and suggestion to that they may want to look into doing something during school hours for K next year. And I added that I know they can’t make everyone happy and that I know everything is said and done for this year.
I’m letting it go now that I’ve said my piece lol.
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McBenny
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Post by McBenny on Apr 19, 2018 12:19:43 GMT -6
I would have assumed that winning a party would mean winning one during the day. That being said, if I were not prepared to take off then no, I would not say anything.
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Post by spicysalmonroll on Apr 19, 2018 12:47:08 GMT -6
How does she get to the off-site daycare? Sorry this is not really related to the party situation, just trying to figure out what I'm going to do when it's time for DS to start Preschool/K. lol This was my fear for this year too. My son started K. We do half day. He is done at 11:30. I’m a teacher. Thankfully- I ended up getting pregnant and now am off all year for maternity leave. Otherwise I have no idea how I would have done it. No daycares in his school area will bring kids to and from school. Still dreading next year when I need before/after care for him too. Right! My son goes to a home daycare right now so obviously she can't leave the other kids to do a pickup. Some of the kids she watches take the school bus to her house but I live in another town so that won't work/ his bus wouldn't go to that town. I've never heard of the centers around here doing pickup. Anyways, congrats on getting pregnant and getting all that time off!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2018 13:24:26 GMT -6
I know you already sent the email but I would be frustrated that they offered this reward for K knowing that it ends at a different time than the rest of the school. I can’t imagine you’re the only parent in this position.
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