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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 13:59:50 GMT -6
There are quite a few of us here.. how’s everyone doing? Hanging in there ok?
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:07:54 GMT -6
I’m doing ok generally.. which surprises me since we had two early losses last year. I do have to keep myself distracted constantly, and I pray a lot so that seems to be helping me stay mostly peaceful.
I do have my moments though, and today I’m feeling a little paranoid. Probably because when I cough I feel my uterus tense up. I looked for my Doppler last night and this morning, and I don’t like that I can’t find it. I know I can’t use it just yet, but I’d really like the peace of mind knowing I can just grab it.
Just 1w5d until my next appointment. I can do this.
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Post by mollykinnz on Mar 29, 2018 14:12:55 GMT -6
I seem to flip flop between feeling calm and feeling really anxious. I need to stay away from Google.
My spotting really triggered a lot of fear but it seems to have stopped for now. I really just want to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok so far in there!
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:26:59 GMT -6
This is a good idea. I'm taking this pregnancy a lot harder than I handled my loss and it's really throwing me.
I get the constant worry. I'm literally never not thinking about what could go wrong, what if? Next week will be my "milestone" if I make it, and ironically my next u/s is scheduled for the exact day. I thought it would comfort me but it's making me extra paranoid. I'm also sick of saying "if I make it" or "if this baby stays" but I end every comment with one of those to H, because I can't admit that it could be real yet. He's been very understanding but doesn't really understand.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom, which is cruel considering I go every 15 minutes it feels like, lol. I literally have to talk myself up to check when I wipe.
So. I'm having a rough time. But still trying to stay excited and hopeful. Lots of praying here, too.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:28:09 GMT -6
I’m doing ok generally.. which surprises me since we had two early losses last year. I do have to keep myself distracted constantly, and I pray a lot so that seems to be helping me stay mostly peaceful. I do have my moments though, and today I’m feeling a little paranoid. Probably because when I cough I feel my uterus tense up. I looked for my Doppler last night and this morning, and I don’t like that I can’t find it. I know I can’t use it just yet, but I’d really like the peace of mind knowing I can just grab it. Just 1w5d until my next appointment. I can do this. How far along can you start using a Doppler? I know they aren't fool proof but I'm thinking it might give me peace of mind to have one this time.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:28:32 GMT -6
I seem to flip flop between feeling calm and feeling really anxious. I need to stay away from Google. My spotting really triggered a lot of fear but it seems to have stopped for now. I really just want to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok so far in there! I'm glad the spotting has stopped!
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Post by summerrain on Mar 29, 2018 14:29:38 GMT -6
Since it’s only been one day since my bfp I haven’t had a ton of time to worry yet. I did spot a bit yesterday, but I’ve spotted with every pregnancy. Since it was more brown and gone by this morning I am feeling ok.
I told two of my closest and most non-judge mental friends today because I know that having a few friends to talk to about it will help me deal with anything that may happen. I’m just really trying to stay positive. My H and I have wavered on having the third kid after the last few losses even though we want 3 just because of the mental and emotional aspects. Today I am pregnant. And I am happy.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:29:51 GMT -6
I seem to flip flop between feeling calm and feeling really anxious. I need to stay away from Google. My spotting really triggered a lot of fear but it seems to have stopped for now. I really just want to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok so far in there! I hope you can get an ultrasound soon. I’m so glad the spotting stopped, I know it’s so scary <3
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:33:48 GMT -6
This is a good idea. I'm taking this pregnancy a lot harder than I handled my loss and it's really throwing me. I get the constant worry. I'm literally never not thinking about what could go wrong, what if? Next week will be my "milestone" if I make it, and ironically my next u/s is scheduled for the exact day. I thought it would comfort me but it's making me extra paranoid. I'm also sick of saying "if I make it" or "if this baby stays" but I end every comment with one of those to H, because I can't admit that it could be real yet. He's been very understanding but doesn't really understand. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom, which is cruel considering I go every 15 minutes it feels like, lol. I literally have to talk myself up to check when I wipe. So. I'm having a rough time. But still trying to stay excited and hopeful. Lots of praying here, too. PGAL brain is the absolute worst. It’s exhausting to keep fighting daily to stay peaceful. I’m sick of saying phrases like that too so I’m trying to tell myself “Today I’m pregnant.” Every day is a new blessing. My next ultrasound is on our last loss milestone too. I’m trying not to be intimidated. Yes, we need to try to be excited and hopeful. It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic. This time is precious <3
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:35:00 GMT -6
I’m doing ok generally.. which surprises me since we had two early losses last year. I do have to keep myself distracted constantly, and I pray a lot so that seems to be helping me stay mostly peaceful. I do have my moments though, and today I’m feeling a little paranoid. Probably because when I cough I feel my uterus tense up. I looked for my Doppler last night and this morning, and I don’t like that I can’t find it. I know I can’t use it just yet, but I’d really like the peace of mind knowing I can just grab it. Just 1w5d until my next appointment. I can do this. How far along can you start using a Doppler? I know they aren't fool proof but I'm thinking it might give me peace of mind to have one this time. I have read some people finding it around 10w, but it’s recommended to wait longer. Probably 12w at the earliest. Baby is just so small and it can hide so not finding the heartbeat when everything is ok can be scary.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:36:51 GMT -6
Since it’s only been one day since my bfp I haven’t had a ton of time to worry yet. I did spot a bit yesterday, but I’ve spotted with every pregnancy. Since it was more brown and gone by this morning I am feeling ok. I told two of my closest and most non-judge mental friends today because I know that having a few friends to talk to about it will help me deal with anything that may happen. I’m just really trying to stay positive. My H and I have wavered on having the third kid after the last few losses even though we want 3 just because of the mental and emotional aspects. Today I am pregnant. And I am happy. I’m glad that spotting eased up, and that it had turned brown. Spotting is the worst. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you have some IRL friends to confide in. It’s so important to have that support. Yes, you are pregnant! I am so happy too <3
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:38:47 GMT -6
I went back and found this on an old board.
PGAL Mantras
Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.
My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.
Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"
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Post by summerrain on Mar 29, 2018 14:38:55 GMT -6
pambee I’m so sorry you are having a tough time. Living in fears and what if’s is very emotionally exhausting. I hope the tough part passes quickly (not that the whole thing isn’t tough). Pgal brain is so cruel.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:39:16 GMT -6
Yes, we need to try to be excited and hopeful. It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic. This time is precious <3 I needed to hear this. Even if this doesn't work out, I'd rather enjoy my time while I am. Today I am pregnant.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:40:53 GMT -6
Yes, we need to try to be excited and hopeful. It’s ok to be cautiously optimistic. This time is precious <3 I needed to hear this. Even if this doesn't work out, I'd rather enjoy my time while I am. Today I am pregnant. I need to follow my own advice. It’s something I’ve been working on. I have so much regret not enjoying my last pregnancy. I will enjoy this, and I love this baby. I can’t be engulfed in fear again.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:41:19 GMT -6
Well and now I'm crying 😂😂 I needed this today. I was feeling alone even though I'm surrounded by support.
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Post by summerrain on Mar 29, 2018 14:41:52 GMT -6
I seem to flip flop between feeling calm and feeling really anxious. I need to stay away from Google. My spotting really triggered a lot of fear but it seems to have stopped for now. I really just want to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok so far in there! I’m so sorry you are having spotting. It is scary. FX your ultrasound comes quickly and you can breath a little easier.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 14:43:59 GMT -6
Well and now I'm crying 😂😂 I needed this today. I was feeling alone even though I'm surrounded by support. Please lean on us. We can relate and I’m sure we all have good things to offer in support.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 14:46:58 GMT -6
I told two of my closest and most non-judge mental friends today because I know that having a few friends to talk to about it will help me deal with anything that may happen. I’m just really trying to stay positive. My H and I have wavered on having the third kid after the last few losses even though we want 3 just because of the mental and emotional aspects. Today I am pregnant. And I am happy. We each told our close friends, but not our parents yet. My mom gets SO EXCITED about everything and I knew I couldn't handle that yet. My friends have been good about listening and being positive, without being annoying or overwhelming.
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Post by bugglesbee on Mar 29, 2018 14:58:14 GMT -6
I have been really nervous. This pregnancy was a surprise, I found out a week ago today. Being older (41) I know there are increased risks. I haven’t really had much for symptoms which makes it feel kinda not real - but I’m still pretty early (~5wks4). I don’t have my first appointment until the 17th and I am just trying to do what I can and relax about it all, easier said than done. I also have hypothyroidism to add to the risk factor.
When I am not worrying about the pregnancy, I am a worrying about actually having a baby at 42 and how my other two will take the news. DH and I are excited, but it’s all a bit overwhelming and crazy still.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 16:46:15 GMT -6
I have been really nervous. This pregnancy was a surprise, I found out a week ago today. Being older (41) I know there are increased risks. I haven’t really had much for symptoms which makes it feel kinda not real - but I’m still pretty early (~5wks4). I don’t have my first appointment until the 17th and I am just trying to do what I can and relax about it all, easier said than done. I also have hypothyroidism to add to the risk factor. When I am not worrying about the pregnancy, I am a worrying about actually having a baby at 42 and how my other two will take the news. DH and I are excited, but it’s all a bit overwhelming and crazy still. I hope that the 17th gets here quickly and that it will give you some peace of mind. You are going to kick butt at having a new baby at 42. Even if your kids aren’t excited at first they will adjust and love your new addition. I’m very hopeful and excited for you!
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Post by bugglesbee on Mar 29, 2018 17:14:28 GMT -6
Thank you notelsie! I hope time flies for you too!
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Post by expatmama11 on Mar 29, 2018 19:02:56 GMT -6
Both of my losses this past year were within a week of my BFP so just missing my period last week actually was a milestone for me. Then seeing things are progressing normally on Monday has helped me tremendously. I think getting to hear the heartbeat Monday will get me to the right headspace, or at least as close to it is as possible.
I miss how I felt when I was pregnant with DS. Just super excited and not analyzing every single thing.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 29, 2018 19:36:08 GMT -6
Both of my losses this past year were within a week of my BFP so just missing my period last week actually was a milestone for me. Then seeing things are progressing normally on Monday has helped me tremendously. I think getting to hear the heartbeat Monday will get me to the right headspace, or at least as close to it is as possible. I miss how I felt when I was pregnant with DS. Just super excited and not analyzing every single thing. Hearing the heartbeat is definitely helpful. I can’t wait for that. I’m glad you get to go on Monday! And yes, I miss that blissful feeling of not knowing loss. I’m trying really hard to be joyful and embracing each moment. Analyzing and worrying is awful.
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Post by letsgetphysio on Mar 29, 2018 20:11:43 GMT -6
I’m doing ok, but still pretty anxious. We have our first appointment on Tuesday and if all is well it will be past my loss timeframe from last time. I’m not sure the ultrasound will put me completely at ease since I had two ultrasounds with no apparent issues before my miscarriage. I’m hoping once I get out of the first trimester will be when I can breathe a little easier.
The mantras above have really helped me this past month, especially the one about me worrying isn’t going to prevent anything. I tell myself that a lot recently.
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 29, 2018 20:13:31 GMT -6
Both of my losses this past year were within a week of my BFP so just missing my period last week actually was a milestone for me. Then seeing things are progressing normally on Monday has helped me tremendously. I think getting to hear the heartbeat Monday will get me to the right headspace, or at least as close to it is as possible. I miss how I felt when I was pregnant with DS. Just super excited and not analyzing every single thing. H and I were talking about that tonight, with DD I was oblivious to all the worries and stress. I didn't even take any tests after my initial positive! It was easier not knowing as much as I do now.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 30, 2018 16:21:09 GMT -6
I feel kind of dumb asking, but I have a tmi question. Is yellow discharge normal?
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pambee
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Post by pambee on Mar 30, 2018 16:35:23 GMT -6
I feel kind of dumb asking, but I have a tmi question. Is yellow discharge normal? Google tells me it can be normal, but can also be a sign of infection, usually combined with itchiness or foul odor.
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Post by notelsie on Mar 30, 2018 16:52:57 GMT -6
I feel kind of dumb asking, but I have a tmi question. Is yellow discharge normal? Google tells me it can be normal, but can also be a sign of infection, usually combined with itchiness or foul odor. I read that too, but decided I should stop consulting dr Google. Haha I just had cultures and a pap done this month. Everything is normal. Hopefully this is too.
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Post by librariangirl on Mar 31, 2018 21:08:13 GMT -6
My PgAL brain has been erratic this time. Last pregnancy with DS was much worse, but I think it was because I’d come off 3 miscarriages with the last being at 12wks.
There are some days where I’m really zen, and some days where every twinge sets me off. I’m just trying to live each day, and remember that as of now, I’m pregnant, and it’s ok to be happy about that.
I’m a little nervous that my next appt & u/s aren’t until April 12th, even though rationally I know I shouldn’t be. 12 days just seems SO FAR away, when I know my clotting disorder could kick in at any time. With DS it came up around 8wks, and I started heparin at 10wks, but we almost lost him. By my appt I should be between 7w4d-8w, and I know my PgAL brain will be freaking out then.
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