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Post by benandjerrys on Feb 2, 2018 7:01:00 GMT -6
How are toddlers adjusting to the new outside babies? Tips and tricks?
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Post by benandjerrys on Feb 2, 2018 7:06:43 GMT -6
Dd loves baby J. Wants to hold him all the time. But also hits him in the face when I'm nursing 🤦♀️
She is also flatput refusing care from H and my mom. Saying she only wants me to do xyz.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Feb 2, 2018 7:26:02 GMT -6
DD loves him soooo much. Our biggest thing is trhing to keep affirming her because she hears so many no’s about him— “don’t touch his mouth, don’t lay on him, etc” so trying to keep encouraging her that she’s a great big sister & we know she loves him, etc.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Feb 2, 2018 7:27:01 GMT -6
The first few days she didn’t want anything to do with me though & literally wouldn’t let me touch her for a week. So that was really hard but now I think she’s adjusted fine. (Almost 3 weeks into this whole thing)
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Feb 2, 2018 8:36:56 GMT -6
benandjerrys DD1 was the same and only wanted me. We had to keep telling her no that mommy was busy with DD2. There were some tears but now she is fine with it. DD1 is doing so much better with her sister. She’s helpful when I ask her for things but is also good at playing alone so I can tend to DD2. We were having some issues at the beginning but now are in a really good place.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Feb 2, 2018 9:17:38 GMT -6
Something I read or was told or something when DD2 was born, was to reaffirm that I was hearing DD1. If she was asking for something and I was busy I’d say things like, “Ryann I hear you, I understand you’d like me to read a book, when I’m finished doing X, I can read that book.” And then if I was doing something with DD1, and DD2 started fussing but I thought she could wait a minute, I’d say a similar thing, “Oh Elsie I hear you, right now I’m going to finish X with sister, and then I’ll pick you up!” Obviously baby doesn’t really care or understand, but just having the older child hear you acknowledge everyone’s needs is supposed to be helpful?
But in general, bringing DD2 home was by far the hardest and there were a LOT of tears from everyone for a few weeks.
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Post by tiffrobot on Feb 2, 2018 14:15:48 GMT -6
DS is such a gentle soul at heart. From the moment he started showing a personality I knew he’d be a fantastic big brother some day. He was 15 months old when I was going through MS with DD1 and he’d stand behind me in the bathroom and rub my back while I puked. So I had no concerns with him becoming a big brother again, and he is loving all the extra chores and tasks I’m giving him around the house and I can almost count on him to legit be a second set of hands around here which is awesome. ETA he had a couple days where I felt like he was acting out maybe looking for attention, so I sat with him that night to talk to him and asked him if he’s felt sad at all since bringing N home. He responded so genuinely “Mom, when you sent me those pictures of her from the hospital I was so, so happy” 😭
DD1 I was more concerned about. She’s always been more cuddly with me, wants me, the mamas girl. She definitely had a good understanding that I’d be having a baby, but I didn’t know how she’d react when she actually was here. But my fears subsided the moment she met her. I can’t believe how much she became insta-Mom. Her cries don’t bother her at all, in fact she asks to hold her every time she’s crying. She still walks around randomly announcing how much she loves her and that she’s a big sister now.
I think I’m just a lucky mama. And feeling extra emotional today because it was week 1 of H going back to work and I’m feeling pretty proud of myself right now lol.
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Post by sweetsurprise on Feb 2, 2018 14:24:51 GMT -6
DS1 is so sweet and talks about how cute DS2 is. He's adjusted really well. The only issues are telling him to be quiet when he's running around screaming and DS2 is trying to sleep. I also feel guilty about telling DS1 I can't play with him when he asks when I'm feeding or attending to DS2. I can see his little heart break.
DS1 has also been doing some attention seeking behaviors as well that we are working on.
But all in all it's going great.
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Post by benandjerrys on Feb 6, 2018 15:58:25 GMT -6
Bumping this because I hope we aren't the only parents pulling their hair out.
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Post by benandjerrys on Feb 6, 2018 16:02:50 GMT -6
Dd (2.5), is being aggressive at school, mostly hugging other kids (who don't want to be hugged) but also some grabbing of their hair and faces.
She is obsessed with hats and will alternately insist the baby wears a hat including forcing it on his head, or, if he has a hat on, she will rip it off his head.
She's just so big and rough and it's like she has no control over her movements. I'm always afraid she's going to hurt him.
And she has been potty trained since August but she just peed on the floor, then h took her pants off because wet, then she pooped just a bit on my white upholstered kitchen chair (which I obviously bought before kids because those things are not really white anymore). Wtf.
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Post by sunfrogger on Feb 6, 2018 16:46:26 GMT -6
I'm anxious to see how DD1 acts. She's suddenly been very much about mommy.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Feb 6, 2018 17:33:09 GMT -6
Hugs benandjerrys. The transition from one to two is so so hard. DD1 acted out so much when we brought home DD2. |
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Post by helloerrbody on Feb 6, 2018 18:32:42 GMT -6
Bumping this because I hope we aren't the only parents pulling their hair out. Definitely not. And DH has been mostly home and my mom is here. I shudder thinking about how I’m going to handle this on my own. DS1 is a tornado. |
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Post by helloerrbody on Feb 6, 2018 18:33:58 GMT -6
Dd (2.5), is being aggressive at school, mostly hugging other kids (who don't want to be hugged) but also some grabbing of their hair and faces. She is obsessed with hats and will alternately insist the baby wears a hat including forcing it on his head, or, if he has a hat on, she will rip it off his head. She's just so big and rough and it's like she has no control over her movements. I'm always afraid she's going to hurt him. And she has been potty trained since August but she just peed on the floor, then h took her pants off because wet, then she pooped just a bit on my white upholstered kitchen chair (which I obviously bought before kids because those things are not really white anymore). Wtf. DS1 is 21 months and being really rough too. He wants to grab the baby. He also slammed the swing into the wall while “rocking baby” today. 🤦🏼♀️ |
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Feb 6, 2018 18:49:37 GMT -6
+2 for rough older sibling. DD1 liked to pat DD2 on the head, jam a bottle in her mouth and has kicked her a few times on accident I think. It’s gotten better lately but DD2 is also 6 weeks tomorrow so she’s had some more time to adjust to trying to be gentle.
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dragonflyinn
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Post by dragonflyinn on Feb 7, 2018 13:17:32 GMT -6
Hugs benandjerrys. DD will be 3 in May...DS will be one month next week & DD is just now understanding how to be gentle with him. She was a messsss until a few days ago. Laying on him, squeezing him too hard, and getting really upset when we tried to correct her. But it’s like something clicked and all of a sudden she gets it & is suuuper gentle & sweet to him, also super helpful now. I think it takes time and I know I get really impatient with her too which just makes her more frustrated. |
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Post by sunfrogger on Feb 7, 2018 17:53:45 GMT -6
Does anyone have recommendations for like.. Ribcage pain? Bad upper/mid back pain? It feels like my ribs need to expand or something. Should I just go take a warm shower? Heat pack?
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Post by helloerrbody on Feb 8, 2018 1:49:27 GMT -6
Does anyone have recommendations for like.. Ribcage pain? Bad upper/mid back pain? It feels like my ribs need to expand or something. Should I just go take a warm shower? Heat pack? Nothing helped me except stretching out. |
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Feb 14, 2018 7:38:18 GMT -6
DD1 has been so frustrating lately. She wants to be ALL UP in baby E’s face. I feel like I’m constantly saying “please step back. Give her space. Don’t touch her face.” And she gets excited and hits her! Usually with an exclamation like “oh BABY! You’re so cute baby!” And then bops her on the head.
I put her in time out last night for hitting, and she bawled the whole time. She’s only two and is just excited and doesn’t know how to control herself. But it’s all testing my patience. 🙁
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sarahh
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Post by sarahh on Feb 14, 2018 7:58:23 GMT -6
bassa it will definitely get better. DD1 was like that the first few weeks home and has just recently gotten better with only a short reminder to be gentle. We are definitely still having tantrums here but I think for us it’s more of a 2 year old thing than a new sibling thing
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Post by yellow711 on Feb 14, 2018 8:06:09 GMT -6
My older child is 4.5. She is definitely still adjusting to have the baby around. For over 4 years, she was the one that received all the attention from myself and my husband.
We are letting her warm up to the baby at her own pace. We let her help with the baby when she wants to.
We talk to her about her feelings. Our pediatrician suggested that we try to give her some 1 on 1 time with one parent each day - even if it for 5 minutes. We also have been trying extended special 1 on 1 time with her. My husband took her sledding over the weekend and I am taking her out to dinner tonight.
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Post by sunfrogger on Feb 14, 2018 9:11:59 GMT -6
We put the car seat in the car for DD2 and now my older one keeps telling me "Mommy, I want baby sister come out and play " 😂😂😂
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