TTCAL 1/9

[sammysam]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


If you get a BFP, kindly either spoiler alert it or do not post it here at all.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**



How are you doing?



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions:



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : 

[sammysam]

How are you doing? Crap. Who O's on CD6? Oh yeah. Aparently I do now. Caught my LH surge early yesterday morning but then SO (who watched a show that said the freshness of sperm was super important)had decided to prep himself for CD8 and of course had nothing left for last night. We still had fun but that all important ending just wasn't there. We're trying again tonight but I have a feeling were out. Again. I'm getting discouraged.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC...but obviously very poorly.



Diagnosis (if applicable): NA



Updates/questions: Anyone want to give me a spark of hope that tonight won't be too late and that we still might have a shot this month?



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : See above. I couldn’t hold it in until I got down here. I'm obviously a little annoyed with SO.

ETA: I also ate my feelings through the holidays (which I don't normally do) so I'm pretty sure I'm also dealing with an extra 10 lbs that I need to lose...half if which is still from the weight I gained with our loss.

I might be back with more. I'm all about venting today.

[MsG]

sammysam , That's so frustrating! It's possible it's a false LH surge and you won't actually ovulate yet. It's also pretty unusual to ovulate before CD10, and unlikely your egg would be mature enough to release quite yet. Also on an optimistic note, I am seeing a LOT of ladies in the Ava group that don't ovulate until 2 days after the positive OPK. So definitely give it a go tonight .


How are you doing? I'm alright.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS, MFI

Updates/questions: Just met with my RE yesterday, and he recommended moving on from trying naturally to IUI or IVF. He was supportive of going straight to IVF if cost prohibited me from doing both.


Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : I have to admit to being a little bummed that my RE wasn't more optimistic of us continuing to try naturally for a few more months. After my husband's much improved SA in December, I'd hoped he'd be more supportive of that strategy. Though if we're going to move onto IVF, we definitely need to game plan and save a little bit. So we're still going to give it our best shot for a few months.

[sammysam]

MsG That sounds like a good plan. At least you know that if it doesn't happen naturally in a few months time you have a something already in place. Maybe just knowing that will take a bit of the pressure off and might end up helping.

And thank you for the information about O after +OPK. It's exactly what I needed to hear. I thought CD 6 was crazy early so I hope you're right and that maybe I'll O today or tomorrow in which case we might still catch it.

We'll try again tonight and I'll keep my fingers crossed. SO is going to try to leave work early so hopefully we can at least get an earlier time in. If it works out. Our luck with TTC hasn't been great lately with the stress of work, renos, living with my parents, etc.

[MsG]

Jan 9, 2018 8:06:44 GMT -6 sammysam said:

MsG That sounds like a good plan. At least you know that if it doesn't happen naturally in a few months time you have a something already in place. Maybe just knowing that will take a bit of the pressure off and might end up helping.

And thank you for the information about O after +OPK. It's exactly what I needed to hear. I thought CD 6 was crazy early so I hope you're right and that maybe I'll O today or tomorrow in which case we might still catch it.

We'll try again tonight and I'll keep my fingers crossed. SO is going to try to leave work early so hopefully we can at least get an earlier time in. If it works out. Our luck with TTC hasn't been great lately with the stress of work, renos, living with my parents, etc.

I can imagine the stress! We relocated recently and decided to keep and rent our old place, so it's all fresh in my mind. But we didn't have the added stress of living with family! That's a lot.

I'll be interested to see what your temps do and when you do end up ovulating! Definitely rooting for you that you're one of the many that didn't ovulate very soon after a positive opk!

[sammysam]

MsG The studip part is I decided to take a month off from wearing AVA as my wrists were both starting to get bad again so now I won't even be able to track temps. I'm considering starting to wear it tonight just to compare to O last month...but SO has forbade me from wearing it for a while. Blah.

[sammysam]

MsG My temp rise came 3 days after my +OPK last month. Still figuring out what temps mean but I'm guessing that means I likely O'd a couple days after my positive...is that right?

[MsG]

Jan 9, 2018 8:29:18 GMT -6 sammysam said:

MsG My temp rise came 3 days after my +OPK last month. Still figuring out what temps mean but I'm guessing that means I likely O'd a couple days after my positive...is that right?

Yes 😁. Some women do have a delayed rise in temps too (because nothing can ever be simple or black and white), but for most women, ovulation is likely to have happened the day before the rise started. Maybe two days before if you had a delayed rise.

Sorry about the rash thing. That absolutely sucks! Another tip, a lot of women actually use a sweatband to wear it at night. They take the sensor out of the provided band and use a sweatband to hold it on. Ava tested it with the sweatband and said it's fine to do so. So if the strap keeps bugging you, maybe try that instead?

[akwild]

How are you doing? Frustrated



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): ttc



Diagnosis (if applicable):



Updates/questions: it’s my FW H has a cold. I want to kick him. I don’t want the possibility of pregnancy to be out because he doesn’t feel good.



Debbie downer (a place to vent ) : winter break needed and we are back to work. Everyone was like the countdown to spring break is on! I just don’t want to. I should be huge and pregnant. My due date was the first day of spring break. I am just annoyed at everything now.

[akwild]

sammysam hopefully you didn’t miss this month! CD6 would be crazy early.

MsG sorry you didn’t get the news you wanted. But a plan is in place and if it doesn’t work out while you save you will be ready.

[sammysam]

akwild My SO sounds the same as your H. He was complaining about being tired and not feeling well...and last night might have been our only shot this month. If you want someone to kick come kick my SO. I told him last night I was annoyed that we even have to be TTC as we should be having a baby in 2 months. He told me I should be looking forward not back...I told him it was in his best interest to stop talking.

[sammysam]

akwild I also agreed to teach courses I don't love teaching next semester because I thought I'd be off on mat leave...guess that one came back to bite me too. I'm currently begging for a timetable change...

[charliefox]

sammysam, I agree that it might be a false LH surge, CD6 is crazy early. Do you keep testing until you get a negative OPK? I'd do that at least, and probably still keep up the OPKs until after the time you usually O. And keep an eye on CM too. (I hate not having all the info - lol)


How are you doing? Meh, like always.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): unexplained 2IF

Updates/questions: Called the RE to let her know that we're hoping to start IUI next cycle. Ugh I hate having to tell people at my loss, and I also have a call with a nurse this afternoon to sign up for H's company's IF coverage. Hoping after this afternoon it's all out of the way and we can just move forward with treatments.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Contrary to what I just said about moving forward, I started bleeding again a few days ago. Finally got a negative HPT on the 2nd and then started spotting the next day, then light bleeding a few days later and now back to spotting (with some cramping). Gonna message my Dr because this doesn't seem normal at all. Clearly it wasn't a "period" because my body barely figured out I wasn't pregnant, let alone had time to gear up for another cycle. Really hoping there isn't something weird going on.

[MsG]

akwild,Been there with the husband. They can be the absolute worst sometimes!

charliefox, I'm sorry you're dealing with this crap still. Unbelievably frustrating! I do think spotting/light bleeding could just be b/c your hormones are adjusting now that your hcg is finally down, so hopefully it's just something minor.

[sammysam]

charliefox Did they do an ultrasound at any point after your loss to make sure all the tissue was removed? Just to rule out possible infection?

Also...I got my first period 10 days after I finally stopped bleeding. My doctor said it was my period...I was sceptical but everything seemed to line up afterwards so I think he was right.

In terms of my OPK...I got 2 positives in the am and then it was negative again by the pm. CM would agree (the only reason I even tested on CD 6 was because my CM seemed super fertile...based on CM I likely would have gotten a positive for the first time the afternoon before but I don't normally test until CD 7 which is why I almost missed it altogether). I always have a super short cycle (20 to 21 days) after a long cycle (this last one was over a week longer than my normal). Should I maybe test a few more times just to see what the line is doing? I just ordered a BBT to start temping while waiting until I can wear my ava again. I'm hoping maybe at least O didn't happen yet or is happening today so we at least have a shot.

[charliefox]

sammysam, they don't do an ultrasound or any beta testing normally. I messaged my dr today and she said it was normal to have on and off bleeding and have a really wonky cycle until the next one. So, she wasn't helpful at all.

Luckily, my RE's office called today and they said they wanted me to call back in 2 weeks if I hadn't gotten my period yet (assuming to give me Provera to induce a period).

If you have a bunch of cheapie OPKs I would keep testing to see what the line does, although I admit I like to have ALL the info so that's just what I would do. That's interesting that you have a longer cycle and then a shorter one. My sister has the same thing and gets horrible migraines every other cycle, I suspect they might be hormone related.

[MsG]

charliefox, I bled for 6 weeks after my last miscarriage (with two days during that where it stopped). A lot of it was just spotting and light bleeding, but then I'd randomly have heavy flow for like 10 minutes and then go back to spotting. I went straight from that into my first period. It was honestly a nightmare, but I knew I didn't have any retained tissue. It was just my body being an asshole.

sammysam, I would also keep testing with OPKs if you have the internet cheapies. Just to see what happens. Have you ever discussed the super short cycles with your doctor? I've read (though I'm not sure how true this is) that if you ovulate before day 10, it's possible the egg won't be mature enough to fertilize so it can be a problem. I haven't done any research, so I'm not sure if that's based in science at all, but might be worth just asking your doc to see.

[sammysam]

charliefox I'm glad your RE is on it. My family doc wasn't helpful either after our loss. Luckily I had a surgical follow up with the specialist that was on duty in emerg when I went in with the hemorrhage. He was amazing and said I can call him anytime with any questions. I wish family docs were better prepared to be able to answer these types of questions. Like MsG I also bled for about 6 weeks total with the hemorrhage and D&C somewhere in the middle of it all. Hopefully now that your hcg is back down your cycle with figure it's self out. And I think I'll take your advice and keep testing (although at least tonight went well so there's some hope there if this was O).

MsG I have always had a pretty short cycle (normally around 23 to 25 days) and O is normally between day 10 and 12. Doctor said it isn't an issue but I think if we're not pg by 6 months I'll call the specialist about it. I rarely have super long cycles so the really short cycles are rare also (about once a year) but I at least know to expect them after a long one.

On a possibly hopeful note...my cousin conceived her DS on a CD 6 or 7 ovulation. They fooled around the first couple of days of her cycle thinking they were totally safe (they had a weekend away without their other 2 children so took advantage despite the time of her cycle) and ended up with their 3rd. But yeah...I also heard that eggs might not be fully mature that early. I'm hoping O was maybe today or even tomorrow to at least give it a bit more time. I have a BBT coming tomorrow but that's not going to help me for this cycle.

[Radley]

sammysam I hope you didn’t miss your O!

MsG I hope it happens naturally for y’all. But if not, I hope IVF works quickly. I’m sorry the RE didn’t have better news.

akwild I’m so sorry. That is annoying and upsetting. We missed my our FW a couple times due to feeling unwell and I hated it. I’m also sorry about that “should be” feeling. I hate that feeling and I know nothing makes it feel better.

charliefox I’m sorry you are still dealing with all that. I hope it’s nothing major.

[Radley]

How are you doing? Doing alright.



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched



Diagnosis (if applicable): PID related fertility issues, non alcoholic liver disease, swollen spleen.



Updates/questions: none



Debbie downer (a place to vent ):

SPOILER: Click to show

so many freaking baby showers!

[charliefox]

Thanks ladies for sharing your experiences. sammysam, the dr I messaged was actually the OB who performed my d&c so I thought she'd be more helpful ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sammysam]

charliefox Gah! That's frustrating! How could she not give you more specific advice? At least she didn't seem concerned so maybe that's a good thing?

I also peed on an OPK again today. Completely negative. Barely even a hint of a line...so my guess is O was just early. I called the doctor anyways and he said there shouldn't be any issues with the maturity of eggs if you O early. You body won't release it until it's ready. Most issues are with thickness of the lining but he said he wasn't concerned one way or another. My BBT should come today so at least I can start temping again tomorrow.

[sunshiney]

Jan 9, 2018 9:58:02 GMT -6 sammysam said:

My SO sounds the same as your H. He was complaining about being tired and not feeling well...and last night might have been our only shot this month. If you want someone to kick come kick my SO. I told him last night I was annoyed that we even have to be TTC as we should be having a baby in 2 months. He told me I should be looking forward not back...I told him it was in his best interest to stop talking.

Yes, looking forward to baby making sex! Jeesh. Men!

[sunshiney]

sammysam I read a short cycle often comes after a long cycle because the long cycle gave other follies a chance to get a better head start on growing before they were paused by O, so they're ready to pop faster next time around? Also, I always go back and forth from a longer to a shorter cycle (but usually only a difference of 5 days or so) because my left ovary O's later and my right ovary O's earlier, lol...when I feel O pains on the right 2 cycles in a row, I always end up with 2 shorter cycles too.

MsG I really support your plan, although it can feel frustrating not to "up the ante," I would probably do what you're doing - with the time, trouble, and cost of IUI, compared to IVF success rates, we also plan to move to IVF faster if we need treatment (only doing IUI while we save up).

akwild The weeks from winter break to spring break are the worst time of the year. I hope they go quickly for you!!

[MsG]

Jan 10, 2018 12:40:37 GMT -6 sammysam said:

charliefox Gah! That's frustrating! How could she not give you more specific advice? At least she didn't seem concerned so maybe that's a good thing?

I also peed on an OPK again today. Completely negative. Barely even a hint of a line...so my guess is O was just early. I called the doctor anyways and he said there shouldn't be any issues with the maturity of eggs if you O early. You body won't release it until it's ready. Most issues are with thickness of the lining but he said he wasn't concerned one way or another. My BBT should come today so at least I can start temping again tomorrow.

Glad to hear the doc wasn't concerned!

[sammysam]

sunshiney That makes so much more sense to me now...thank you:) It makes me feel better about my shorter cycles too! It's funny since this is around the date I would have O'd if my cycles had been their "normal" lengths.

[sammysam]

MsG Me too...but I'm not convinced doctors always know what they're talking about:) I'll probably be asking the specialist about it next chance I get.

[MsG]

sunshiney, Thanks It's always good to hear I'm not nuts from others who get this wild (and shitty) ride we're on!

Radley, Yessss to OPPs. So FREAKING MANY. Arg.

[cattynattyrn]

*** TWs in intro***


Hey y’all. I’m new here, so I’ll do a short intro. I am from TD, then the other place, now here. I started tc in 2014, and very quickly conceived our first son, Tucker. However, he was stillborn at 27.6 from a cord accident. After that we were benched for 6 months and ended up taking a while to conceive again. Our rainbow and second son, Henry, was born in May of 2016. His pregnancy was rough. We had constant monitoring because of various things they kept fining on the USs, but ultimately he was born healthy.

We’ve been thinking about ttc again, but since I had just started NP school when we lost Tucker, and only finished a few months after Henry was born, we decided to wait a little longer. So it’s the new year and we are at it.


How are you doing?: I’m fine, just regretting not temping. I thought I’d be able to relax about this whole ttc thing, but I’ve just fallen into my old habits. (Testing too early, jumping to conclusions based on symptoms, using opks AFTER Oing) sheesh..



Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): ttc CD25, 5DPO. We got in -4,-2,-1 but missed O and +1.


Diagnosis (if applicable): none


Updates/questions:


Debbie downer (a place to vent ): Really I’m just feeling like I’m gonna obsess over this again. It was so stressful last time, and it really strained my mental health. The total crap that is TTCAL is just awful anyways and nothing I ever do is easy. 😂 I’m worried about all the things already.

ETA: changed dates. I’m a poor historian. Meh.

[sammysam]

cattynattyrn Welcome and so sorry for your loss. TTCAL is all kinds of terrible. Glad you're here to commiserate and share the insanity:) Good luck!