sammysam
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Post by sammysam on Aug 29, 2017 12:25:01 GMT -6
I did make an appointment with a LC before DD was born and for me that was probably the most helpful thing I did in preparation (and I watched a million episodes of "A Baby Story" on TLC too...does that count?).
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Post by clementine on Aug 29, 2017 12:25:18 GMT -6
Are you planning on having a doula? I highly recommend this especially trying to go med free in a hospital. I planned to last time but LO was breech, and I ended up with an emergency C when my water broke rather spectacularly at 38 weeks. Our doula was allowed in the OR which was actually nice to have. We decided to do private lessons/meetings with our doula before instead of classes for a particular method. It was really great because she could take the pieces that fit with my personality, etc and skip things I didn't like. I didn't end up needing much of it, my labor was just so quick and they were rushing to get me to the OR, but I felt mentally prepared. I will be trying to go med free and VBAC again this time at the hospital and will definitely be using a doula again! I would like to have a doula. I'm still looking into it and figuring out if it's financially possible, but it sounds nice to have an approach more tailored to you specifically! |
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cornpop
Amethyst
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Post by cornpop on Aug 29, 2017 12:30:36 GMT -6
clementine, you may want to check and see if your insurance covers a doula. A friend from my old BMB had one and it was I think at least partially covered by insurance. I am thinking of hiring a doula but haven't looked into it yet.
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Post by clementine on Aug 29, 2017 12:30:54 GMT -6
alwayscheese even if you're planning on an epidural I think it's good to prep with some med free techniques because epidurals can fail or sometimes there's not enough time. If you're planning med free it's a good idea to research epidurals too because anything can happen. So much this. I planned for a med-free delivery, but it didn't happen, and that turned out to be just fine. The birth class I took was definitely geared towards "Natural Childbirth" (that's what it was called, but I fucking hate that term so much), but she briefly talked about epis and I read about them on my own so I knew exactly was I was opting for. clementine I think being prepared for all of it as best you can will help with being nervous about it all for sure. The other big word of caution I would give to anyone planning for a med-free delivery is to go into it with kind expectations of yourself. Don't take any class or listen to any instructor who will make you feel like if you opt for an epi, you're somehow failing yourself or your baby. Its totally fine to have hopes for what your labor will be like, and to prepare for your preferred approach to labor. Be as prepared as possible for everything! But nobody should feel like a failure or have guilt complexes because they opted for pain relief. How absurd is that? Its really easy to get carried away with some of the literature that's out there (looking at you, Ina May) and I just think it sets new moms up to fail, which is unfair. Amen to that! I truly appreciate your words. I'm *hoping* for a med free delivery but like you said, you never know how things will go. I'm fully okay with an epi if that's what needs to happen. |
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Post by sailsandstitches on Aug 29, 2017 12:32:19 GMT -6
We took Lamaze at the hospital and I felt like it would have prepared us pretty well if I had ended up with a typical birth. I 100% wanted to go all natural with my first. Unfortunately, my water broke first and we waited quite a while, but I needed cervadil to start dilating and contracting and it was extremely painful. It worked really well, but contractions were one on top of the other so I felt like everything I learned didn't work. They talked a lot about focusing on recovery time vs actual contraction time and that did not apply. I feel like a lot of my birth plan was just talking with my OB and H ahead of time, especially once active labor kicked in.
This time will hopefully be a VBAC, so I'm going to get an epidural in the event that I need an ECS, they don't have to put me under.
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jewel
Silver
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Post by jewel on Aug 29, 2017 12:33:44 GMT -6
Are you planning on having a doula? I highly recommend this especially trying to go med free in a hospital. I planned to last time but LO was breech, and I ended up with an emergency C when my water broke rather spectacularly at 38 weeks. Our doula was allowed in the OR which was actually nice to have. We decided to do private lessons/meetings with our doula before instead of classes for a particular method. It was really great because she could take the pieces that fit with my personality, etc and skip things I didn't like. I didn't end up needing much of it, my labor was just so quick and they were rushing to get me to the OR, but I felt mentally prepared. I will be trying to go med free and VBAC again this time at the hospital and will definitely be using a doula again! I would like to have a doula. I'm still looking into it and figuring out if it's financially possible, but it sounds nice to have an approach more tailored to you specifically! Prices vary a lot by area and just in general. We were in Boston area when LO was born, so a pretty expensive area, I had quotes mostly in the $800-1500 range with a few really expensive outliers. My doula also was a PP doula, which was nice we had her come a few times after the baby was born to help out as well. Another thing to consider is how much you will have to pay to have the baby... my insurance covers maternity care 100%, it is like preventive care and doesn't even go to your deductible, it was literally $0 for me to have LO and all my prenatal stuff. So I definitely felt better about paying for a doula given that (which i knew in advance). I've heard people use doulas in training for much lower prices. |
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Post by sailsandstitches on Aug 29, 2017 12:35:30 GMT -6
alwayscheese even if you're planning on an epidural I think it's good to prep with some med free techniques because epidurals can fail or sometimes there's not enough time. If you're planning med free it's a good idea to research epidurals too because anything can happen. So much this. I planned for a med-free delivery, but it didn't happen, and that turned out to be just fine. The birth class I took was definitely geared towards "Natural Childbirth" (that's what it was called, but I fucking hate that term so much), but she briefly talked about epis and I read about them on my own so I knew exactly was I was opting for. clementine I think being prepared for all of it as best you can will help with being nervous about it all for sure. The other big word of caution I would give to anyone planning for a med-free delivery is to go into it with kind expectations of yourself. Don't take any class or listen to any instructor who will make you feel like if you opt for an epi, you're somehow failing yourself or your baby. Its totally fine to have hopes for what your labor will be like, and to prepare for your preferred approach to labor. Be as prepared as possible for everything! But nobody should feel like a failure or have guilt complexes because they opted for pain relief. How absurd is that? Its really easy to get carried away with some of the literature that's out there (looking at you, Ina May) and I just think it sets new moms up to fail, which is unfair. Amen!! I had so much guilt around getting an epidural with number one, especially since I ended up with a CS. But that epidural did not tie my son's cord around his neck a couple of times and the cascade of interventions isn't actually a thing. I'm so grateful for what I've learned since then. No one gets a special badge for having an unmedicated vaginal birth and your baby doesn't really care how you birthed him/her. If it's something that will make you feel like a rockstar, go for it, but no need to feel guilty if it doesn't go as planned or if it isn't even in your plans to start with. |
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Aug 29, 2017 12:49:25 GMT -6
Ugh. I hate the term "natural birth". Only have an unmediated birth if you can and want to. I have an IRL friend that was SO pissed she had an epidural and it completely ruined the birth experience for her. Birthing a baby is like feeding a baby - do what's best for you and the baby, be kind to yourself, and most importantly  |
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Post by sailsandstitches on Aug 29, 2017 12:57:25 GMT -6
Motto for parenthood right there haha |
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yianna
Gold
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Post by yianna on Aug 29, 2017 13:02:34 GMT -6
I've had three unmedicated (well pain med free) births. I plan the same for this one because if I've done it three times, I can certainly do it again (right?).
I took a hospital birthing class with my first in 2008. We learned general breathing techniques, and relaxation techniques.
For 2nd and 3rd, I read the Bradley method book, and Ina May's book (birthing within.. I can't remember). I can say that for me, the biggest thing to 'learn' is to not tense up during the peak of a contraction. We want to - we want to save ourselves from that pain, but by doing that you don't let things progress as easily.
Bradley, Lamaze, etc., all teach that - some teach imagery (during a ctx, think about your cervix opening like a flower blooming), but all teach to not tense up. Many will also teach to birth anywhere but laying down.
Again for me, to keep my mind off the intense ctx - I was on my feet (except my first, they basically had to tie me to the bed - I was not happy).
For a birth without pain meds - much of this is mind over matter - if you think you can't, you can't. And I know that sounds like some BS or something, but it's true. If you absolutely DO NOT WANT meds - you need to take that out of your brain that meds are an option. Some people have a codeword - which is great - if you need them, take them, but for me? I didn't want them and never ever made a codeword because I didn't want the option of medication (for me - it's not for everyone, and I would never ever tell someone NOT to get an epidural).
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Post by calendula on Aug 29, 2017 13:05:14 GMT -6
Ugh. I hate the term "natural birth". Only have an unmediated birth if you can and want to. I have an IRL friend that was SO pissed she had an epidural and it completely ruined the birth experience for her. Birthing a baby is like feeding a baby - do what's best for you and the baby, be kind to yourself, and most importantly LOL this is kind of a good parenting mantra, no  |
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Aug 29, 2017 13:10:20 GMT -6
Ugh. I hate the term "natural birth". Only have an unmediated birth if you can and want to. I have an IRL friend that was SO pissed she had an epidural and it completely ruined the birth experience for her. Birthing a baby is like feeding a baby - do what's best for you and the baby, be kind to yourself, and most importantly +1 to this so hard. I honestly don't even understand the desire to go unmedicated. Like, just don't comprehend. When I was in labor there were 3 other moms all delivering at the same time, all without epis, and all I remember is the nursers coming into my room and reassuring me that it really isn't that bad (with an epi that is) and how they don't understand why anyone would choose to go without an epi. I hope that doesn't come off as criticizing. It probably does. Everyone should do what is best for them. Just for me, I don't get it. |
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Post by babybean on Aug 29, 2017 13:11:28 GMT -6
I feel like everything I 'learned' went out the window once it was go time. I had PROM and went straight into transition when labour started so I was like "wtf" because I thought it was early labour so I felt overwhelmed at the thought of it getting worse. It was primal and I didn't want anyone talking to me or touching me.
I see birth photos where the dad is massaging and encouraging and I think they're sweet but that's just not for me. Breathing techniques and all that were a no go. I just went with what worked for me in the moment. Watching the clock knowing when I'd get a break and vocalizing for a release is what ended up working best.
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yianna
Gold
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Post by yianna on Aug 29, 2017 13:30:17 GMT -6
Ugh. I hate the term "natural birth". Only have an unmediated birth if you can and want to. I have an IRL friend that was SO pissed she had an epidural and it completely ruined the birth experience for her. Birthing a baby is like feeding a baby - do what's best for you and the baby, be kind to yourself, and most importantly +1 to this so hard. I honestly don't even understand the desire to go unmedicated. Like, just don't comprehend. When I was in labor there were 3 other moms all delivering at the same time, all without epis, and all I remember is the nursers coming into my room and reassuring me that it really isn't that bad (with an epi that is) and how they don't understand why anyone would choose to go without an epi. I hope that doesn't come off as criticizing. It probably does. Everyone should do what is best for them. Just for me, I don't get it. I only keep doing it because I've done it that way... otherwise I'd be team epi. In fact, I don't think I've ever told someone to do a non-pain med birth. That's why we have epidurals - so you don't feel it, right? knowing my luck though, if I did get an epi, it would fail.. haha. |
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jewel
Silver
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Post by jewel on Aug 29, 2017 13:39:24 GMT -6
Ugh. I hate the term "natural birth". Only have an unmediated birth if you can and want to. I have an IRL friend that was SO pissed she had an epidural and it completely ruined the birth experience for her. Birthing a baby is like feeding a baby - do what's best for you and the baby, be kind to yourself, and most importantly +1 to this so hard. I honestly don't even understand the desire to go unmedicated. Like, just don't comprehend. When I was in labor there were 3 other moms all delivering at the same time, all without epis, and all I remember is the nursers coming into my room and reassuring me that it really isn't that bad (with an epi that is) and how they don't understand why anyone would choose to go without an epi. I hope that doesn't come off as criticizing. It probably does. Everyone should do what is best for them. Just for me, I don't get it. As long as you respect other people's choices to go unmedicated I don't think you need to understand it. For me it's about control and a tremendous fear of the epidural. The idea of having someone put a needle in my spine and then potentially not being able to feel my legs is so much worse than the idea of being in pain. I had a spinal bc I ended up having a c-section, and although I'm fine with how my birth went bc a healthy baby is what matters, I would say that the spinal was one of the absolute worst experiences of my life. Granted it had to be given to me in less than ideal conditions bc they were rushing to get me into the OR and I hadn't had like any fluids, but I had such a horrible reaction to it, it was infinitely worse than the pain of labor. If I am able to have a vaginal birth this time I really doubt I would get an epidural I am so scared the same thing would happen again. Everyone experiences pain differently and people have their own reasons for wanting what they want out of delivery. I agree that you need to be flexible and let go of things if they don't materialize. But even though it didn't work out the first time, I don't regret planning for and prepping for or wanting a med-free birth and I will be planning and prepping for one again. If it doesn't happen, that's fine but I know in my heart it's absolutely what I want. |
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Rama
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Post by Rama on Aug 29, 2017 14:59:41 GMT -6
+1 to jewel's comment. I'm shooting for a non-pain-medicated birth because epidurals scare the shit out of me. I want to feel everything, even if it hurts, rather than be blissfully unaware and not in pain. But if I need it, I need it, and I'll get it. |
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Post by ovenrack on Aug 29, 2017 19:11:32 GMT -6
Just to add to the litany of non-birth class specifics... which isn't what you asked for... sorry...
I did a "natural birth" class at my hospital (I ALSO HATE THAT TERM), which was five classes - three covered non-med based laboring techniques, the stages of labor, etc. Class #4 was what epidurals, pain meds, and cesarians can look like. Class #5 was a hospital tour.
I was thrilled thrilled thrilled to have class #4. I was pretty amped to try going med-free. I felt really confident, though not, like, stupid confident. But I wanted to know all my options. I've never been a team sports person, but labor felt like something that I could do. Lol. Like, something to aspire to. My own marathon.
In the end, I actively labored for 24 hours med-free, and used every one of those effing techniques. Squatting, balance ball, peanut ball, shower, tub, kneeling, standing, walking, moaning, singing, laughing, crying, roaring, pressure points, hot water, cool water, breathing slow, breathing fast, on the toilet, on the bed edge. You name it. (Admittedly, no studied hypnosis or meditative techniques. But I got pretty zen for awhile).
My labor still wasn't progressing (I was dilated 6), so I ended up getting an epi since I hadn't slept in about 42 hours at that point. Got the epi, was able to rest off and on for about five hours, then woke up fully to push.
Was I bummed to get the epi, at the time, when I felt so confident in my body? Kinda.
Looking back, am I bummed? No I am not. I rocked the hell out of my labor, and I used all tools available to me. Including the epidural, which was amazing and allowed me to rest so I could push my baby out.
ADDENDUM: after my son was born, and after I birthed the placenta, there was a piece that stayed in me. I won't go into details, but THE PROCESS INVOLVED TO RETRIEVE IT WAS ONE WHICH I WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED TO EXPERIENCE WITHOUT AN EPI. In fact, one nurse said that they would have recommended an epi at that point anyway. So. Yeah. Pain, man.
Also, I went med-free with my second birth, and it was also great. But, like, not better than my first birth, except in that it wasn't effing 32 hours long (45 hours from water breaking to birth).
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