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Post by mrsmonogrammed on Sept 5, 2017 18:21:39 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss❤️
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cp3
Opal
Posts: 7,895 Likes: 34,435
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Post by cp3 on Sept 5, 2017 18:58:00 GMT -6
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Post by smootiepie on Sept 5, 2017 19:14:11 GMT -6
I'm sorry for your loss. T&Ps for the upcoming days/weeks/months as you heal physically and emotionally
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Post by leatherpants on Sept 5, 2017 19:15:10 GMT -6
Oh sammysam, I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself ❤️
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Post by littlecabbage1019 on Sept 5, 2017 20:35:34 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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Post by sammysam on Sept 5, 2017 20:38:39 GMT -6
Thanks everyone. The support really means a lot. My family keeps telling me how to feel...either I shouldn't be upset at all or else they keep trying to tell me the scans are wrong...or my dates are off...I just need them to let me feel whatever it is I'm going to feel and to do it in my own time. I'm glad I had the 2 weeks to prepare but it still didn't really make it any easier.
SO is already talking about trying again...but I'm not sure I want to. I might jump back on the OAD train. I have a feeling that going forward is going to be traumatic enough.
If you guys don't mind I'll probably still hang around and post a bit until I find a new home on here. Not quite sure where I fit at the moment.
Thank you all again for everything:)
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Post by babybean on Sept 5, 2017 21:33:51 GMT -6
sammysam you're one of us and always welcome here, we're happy to have you stick around! Definitely be kind to yourself and allow yourself whatever time and space you need to heal. People can be so insensitive and I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
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Post by kait1214 on Sept 5, 2017 21:39:47 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by nuggetrn on Sept 5, 2017 21:54:37 GMT -6
I am so so so sorry for your loss. Don't let people telling you how to feel get to you. You feel however you want to and they can deal with it and shut up.
I hope your husband can give you the time you need to process and let you make decisions about how you want to proceed. I think so many people think that a new pregnancy will replace and heal what you lost but it's ok if you need time and not to move forward now or maybe ever. Please reach out if you need anything at all, I hope you will stick around as you walk through this. Thinking of you and your family ❤❤
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Post by katietopaz on Sept 5, 2017 22:19:16 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself the grace and space you need to process and grieve - there's no right or wrong way, or a rush to get through it. You're in my thoughts <3
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polson
Platinum
Posts: 1,610 Likes: 4,403
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Post by polson on Sept 6, 2017 4:34:17 GMT -6
i'm so sorry sammysam. be gentle with yourself. <3
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Post by ArielMermaid on Sept 6, 2017 6:02:17 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. Sending love and strength to you.
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rm2013
Bronze
Posts: 207 Likes: 352
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Post by rm2013 on Sept 6, 2017 6:25:09 GMT -6
I'm so sorry sammysam 💗 thinking of you.
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Post by sweetc129 on Sept 6, 2017 7:29:15 GMT -6
Oh no! I'm so so sorry. ((HUGS)) We will always be here for you if you need anything.
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Post by woodenshoes on Sept 6, 2017 8:47:10 GMT -6
I am so sorry for your loss. There is no right way to feel after a loss...feel how you need to feel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904 Likes: 6,778
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Post by Rama on Sept 6, 2017 10:27:43 GMT -6
I am so sorry, Sam. My heart breaks with yours.
Screw anyone that tells you that you need to feel a way. You are entitled to your emotions, whatever they may be, and no one has the right to tell you you're doing it wrong or diminish the trauma that this loss has been for you. If this means you're OAD, then you and your husband will eventually have to have a come to Jesus talk about having more kids. It's okay if you never want to go through this again. It's okay if you say that now and change your mind later. It's okay if you decide tomorrow you need to try again.
You are an amazing mother to an amazing kid. You don't have to be strong. You don't have to make things look like they hurt any less than they do. You can do you. And everyone else can wait.
You are welcome here, forever. You belong with us. Forever. If you need a loss community to lean on, the one we have is small, but amazing. And if you ever, EVER need someone to just hear you out, my inbox is open.
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Post by mirabelle on Sept 6, 2017 11:43:18 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by sunshinedaisies on Sept 6, 2017 15:15:09 GMT -6
Oh sammysam I'm so sorry. Sending love and strength to you and your SO.
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Post by filingjointly on Sept 6, 2017 16:43:32 GMT -6
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
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whatsit
Platinum
Posts: 2,394 Likes: 14,458
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Post by whatsit on Sept 6, 2017 19:26:03 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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Post by sammysam on Sept 6, 2017 19:50:17 GMT -6
Your posts made me cry...in a good way...although I probably shouldn't have read them at work:)
SO knows how I feel about another and luckily will support me no matter what decision I make. I just need time to figure out what I want.
My biggest fear is something happening to me and DD having to grow up without me. I almost didn't make it through her birth and the anxiety of a situation like that occurring again really terrifies me. Now I'm worried about infection since my body doesn't seem to want to recognize what is going on. The doctor wants me to wait it out...which is fine...but I'm really scared they're going to let it go too long and something will happen to me. Probably stupid but still.
I had another blood draw today to check hcg levels so they can make a decision about what I should do next. I wish my body would just figure it out already. If their measurements are accurate then things stopped growing over a month ago. I think the hardest part is that I just can't feel like I can move on properly until my body is back to normal. So even though I know this pregnancy is over I'm still this weird limbo...with the added bonus of horrible nausea and vomiting (which of course makes me even more worried that I might have an infection).
End rant.
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Post by nuggetrn on Sept 6, 2017 20:15:44 GMT -6
sammysamTW... Loss/miscarriage.... My body had no idea there was no baby. I threw up for the first time the day of my first appt. My HCG was 94,000! It had no freaking clue. I didn't feel good about waiting it out, I wanted one ounce of control about how things ended. I was able to do cytotec at home and miscarried over the weekend when I didn't have to see or look at anybody and I didn't have to worry about work or other life interrupting what needed to happen. It was absolutely awful, but I was also well prepared for it and I don't think I would change how it all happened. If you don't want to wait it out, or are afraid for any other reason (I too was terrified with my 4th loss that I was going to end up with an infection because my RE just wanted to wait and see. It ended well, thankfully) don't be afraid to say something. Advocate for your own care. You have work and a child that you have to handle. You don't have to wait in limbo just hoping that your body will figure it out eventually. I'm not even sure when I should end my TW because everything just sucks. This is hard, and it is hard when an already awful situation is made harder because life is still happening around you. Don't be afraid to take whatever control you are able to take of this situation. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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sammysam
Sapphire
Posts: 2,707 Likes: 4,229
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Post by sammysam on Sept 7, 2017 15:28:50 GMT -6
nuggetrn Thank you. I found out today that my levels dropped from 45 000 to 14 000 over the past week and a half...so I think my body has finally started to figure it out...although I'm still throwing up. Yay. They are hoping things will start over the weekend and are going to check in with me on Monday. They said they won't let me go longer than 2 weeks so at least I have a time line. At that point if my body hasn't passed everything they'll do a d&c. It's good to at least have a plan. I feel better about everything now that I know my levels are falling.
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shellyr
Gold
Posts: 679 Likes: 1,141
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Post by shellyr on Sept 8, 2017 6:58:21 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.
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