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Post by sunshiney on Feb 27, 2019 6:36:59 GMT -6
tngrl3 early mornings are hard. I hope you're able to shift away from pumping very soon. I'm in the trenches there with you this morning with trying to stay awake! DH was overwhelmed overnight tonight since baby seems to have uncomfortable reflux stopping him from sleeping in his crib over an hour stretch. And because DH insists on maintaining a normal balanced life for himself in the daytime which involves lots of TV, phone games, and photo library organising, and no rest. Grr. We tried lots of things to help ease things for baby's tummy but there was just no way DH was going to sit up holding him another minute after his 5:45am bottle. So I've been half reclined in the same position since then with baby propped with a pillow and boppy sleeping peacefully... And having to force myself to stay awake since it's a really unsafe setup if I fell asleep. Still quite immobile and wouldn't be able to shift positions or get up with baby here. Feeling exhausted, sore, and disappointed because I had just found some success relieving the excruciating distension in my right side by lying oh my left side, and not moving for up to three hours until he's ready for his next bottle is not helping to say the least!
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k
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Post by k on Feb 27, 2019 7:29:47 GMT -6
Speaking of watching shows while nursing... It's funny how things have changed with each baby. With my first, I was able to watch whatever I wanted whenever, because he was our only kid. With the second, nights and DS1's naptime were fair game. Now with the three of them at home with me most of the time, nighttime is the only option for grown-up shows. On the rare days that DS1 actually naps, I'm more likely to soak in the quietness of my house rather than turning on the TV. Even once the boys go to bed, the evening is just a checklist of things to do before we can get to sleep as well. Right? What is tv? On my first maternity leave we binge watched the wire and parenthood. second maternity leave was tumbleleaf for DS1 and this time i started watching workin moms but idk if that’s such a good idea, so many tears already.
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Post by strawberrykiki on Feb 27, 2019 10:08:00 GMT -6
thelittleredm Finn is grunty too haha even when he’s sleeping if he’s not really out cold he makes noises and MH complains he can’t sleep. Hmph. sunshiney hang in there! Hopefully things get better for you soon. MH is not nearly as patient with the baby when he’s fussy as I am. It’s extra difficult when you want to take care of them and your pain makes it impossible. Hugs.
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Post by sunshiney on Feb 27, 2019 20:52:22 GMT -6
Baby threw up actually a whole bottle this afternoon, in giant pouring streams, and since had only been willing to sleep in our arms. Ordered a special baby lounger pillow thing on Amazon so we can at least set him down when we're around but for now I'm holding him, in a mess of pain myself, and overdue for meds but can't take them without food and DH just dealt with non stop screaming for an hour plus while I slept so he's getting a very needed shower break. Wondering if this is normal baby sleep preferences shifting and if so how the heck do we survive if we can't put him in the crib to sleep and have a moment to do things we need and sleep? Wondering if he's lactose intolerant or something but also thinking I'm just grasping at straws. He's gone lying pretty much flat on his side here so I don't think it's actually the position and reflux??
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Post by strawberrykiki on Feb 27, 2019 21:02:54 GMT -6
sunshiney do you have a bouncer or a swing or anything like that? We got Finn a glider on amazon for 100 dollars and it’s been a serious life saver. He hates laying down flat. He’s even been sleeping in it. And laying down flat after eating is definitely a no go for him. He does a lot less spitting up when he’s upright after eating.
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Post by sunshiney on Feb 27, 2019 21:12:24 GMT -6
strawberrykiki Yes we put him in a bouncer this afternoon... No bouncing of course... But he hated it. It's like suddenly he only happy being held, or like his awesome self soothing ability just went out the window overnight. Can't help but wonder what we have done or are doing wrong.
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Post by strawberrykiki on Feb 27, 2019 21:16:23 GMT -6
sunshiney you’re not doing anything wrong. It takes some experimenting to see what works to soothe baby. We’ve found the glider works better than the bouncer because it mimics being rocked. He’s okay with the bouncer when he’s happy but when he’s upset he needs something with more motion. Somedays he just wants to be held more than others and we have to take turns. It will get better I promise.
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Post by sunshiney on Feb 27, 2019 23:47:53 GMT -6
strawberrykiki thank you!! That makes sense! I am literally praising Jesus tonight because my pain calmed down (a very gurgly gut tells me things are finally moving along) enough that I sent DH to bed around 10:30, held baby, got him to sleep on his side in the pack n play next to my recliner, diapered and fed him, and now got him back to sleep again... If I can do this one more time DH will have a whole night's sleep, I really think it's what he needs! Then he can give me a rest in the morning I hope. He was feeling really down last night.
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Post by strawberrykiki on Feb 28, 2019 1:46:56 GMT -6
sunshiney awesome job momma! You got this! Just make sure you’re taking good care of yourself and not worrying more about YH than yourself. MH has been kind of acting like the baby sometimes in our house complaining about lack of sleep and why the baby is fussy. I don’t think he’s handling this transition as well as I am and I’ve found myself worrying about him over myself and the baby which isn’t cool because I’m the one who was just pregnant and got my guts literally torn open to birth this baby!
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Post by notagoddess on Feb 28, 2019 12:34:33 GMT -6
sunshiney get in contact with the pedi about possibly switching formulas. It’s absolutely something worth checking out, dairy intolerance is fairly common. I also agree with strawberrykiki, a bouncer isn’t going to cut it. You need more motion. Try a swing/glider. Also, have you seen Happiest Baby on the Block? Old video but pretty helpful for baby soothing strategies. I’d also recommend babywearing to YH, that way baby boy gets held but YH can have his arms free to do things.
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Post by notagoddess on Feb 28, 2019 12:41:52 GMT -6
sunshiney also my DD1 needed to be held for almost all naps until she went to daycare at 3 months old. This one seems easier going, but just now wouldn’t settle in the car seat or swing but is fine being held. It’s normal for them to need holding, but I swear this phase passes and becomes a blur in your memory. Try to find strategies to survive (asking for help, swings and pacifiers, whatever) but know it will get better soon.
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dashook
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Post by dashook on Feb 28, 2019 14:35:47 GMT -6
I’ll add that babies constantly change. I mean constantly. I was so bummed out when MH finally rebuilt the swing and I realized immediately that V hated it. That was up until 1.5-2 weeks ago, and now he loves it. In fact as I write this he is going on 3 hours napping in the thing! So you never know.
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TashaLa
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Post by TashaLa on Feb 28, 2019 15:48:47 GMT -6
sunshiney I'm going to give a HUGE +1 to notagoddess' suggestion of babywearing... especially when YH wants to watch TV, play video games, or otherwise mess around on his computer. Welcome to parenthood, buddy. "Me time" is a privilege when you're a parent, especially the parent of a newborn, AND have a wife who is dealing with health issues while recovering from major surgery. Multitasking will help everyone out. +1 to this sunshiney Again, you are far kinder than I am. I get wanting to respect your partner and their needs, but you have legitimate medical needs and a newborn is nothing but needs. His priorities to regain his normalcy at this stage are just not realistic.
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Post by thelittleredm on Feb 28, 2019 21:07:43 GMT -6
sunshiney I'm going to give a HUGE +1 to notagoddess' suggestion of babywearing... especially when YH wants to watch TV, play video games, or otherwise mess around on his computer. Welcome to parenthood, buddy. "Me time" is a privilege when you're a parent, especially the parent of a newborn, AND have a wife who is dealing with health issues while recovering from major surgery. Multitasking will help everyone out. +1 to this sunshiney Again, you are far kinder than I am. I get wanting to respect your partner and their needs, but you have legitimate medical needs and a newborn is nothing but needs. His priorities to regain his normalcy at this stage are just not realistic. Also adding my +1
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Post by sunshiney on Mar 1, 2019 0:31:56 GMT -6
Thank you so much for the support and advice!
DH gets down on himself easily so I've found if he can get judgment free space as we call it and feel unconditionally respected/admired (like, believe I don't think any less of him as a person even if he's having a moment of not living up to standards), then he is able to regroup and find great motivation again. He happily dealt with baby alone throughout the day giving me a total of 5+ hours of nice naps, and I think he really turned a corner because when I woke up at 11:00pm, he said baby slept in the pack and play for two hours then he held him for the last hour. I asked, oh he got fussy at the end and needed to be held? DH said, no I missed holding him and I knew I was going to bed soon and wanted some more cuddly time first. Earlier in the day he while I napped he said he held baby for hours while doing chores and watching TV, he said swaying him like he likes hurts his back but if he's walking around with him they're both happy. So thanks to your advice tomorrow we're going to try out the carriers and see if that makes it easier!
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Post by thelittleredm on Mar 1, 2019 3:03:28 GMT -6
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Post by sunshiney on Mar 1, 2019 3:58:36 GMT -6
notagoddess DH and I read happiest baby on the block before baby was born, but it was just a few hours ago that I feel like I really got the hang of implementing the 5 Ss... Baby was screaming after bottle for no apparent reason, and nothing was working to soothe him... He was swaddled, swaying, side position in my arms, spitting out his paci, my shushing noise seemed to upset him more... But when I did all five at the same time he literally dropped instantly from crying into sleep. It was crazy! And exciting. I've spent the last few hours reading happiest baby guide to great sleep. Didn't realize there's so much we can do early to help him sleep better in the future too. Have to say though Harvey Karp's ideas about cell phone radiation are a little ridiculous!
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