Put Your Misc. State of the Forum Info Here

[sak]

For anyone who doesn't read stickies--they're looking for suggestions for forum admins from boards that aren't just Parenting. If you have a want to admin wherever we land or you have a recommendation for another poster that would make a good admin, you need click here.
politicsorwhat.freeforums.net/thread/38/admin-nominations

Will xp this over on NJCD too

[Dramaphile]

I'm confused... So Politicsorwhat is like the new Politics thread or parenting or whatever and everything else is here? or...? I just want to be where my peeps (aka you guys) are and waste time with the blinds sometimes.

[mimsy]

its kinda feeling that way.

im getting tired of all of it. i don't want to stay at TCF but im not sure why. and i dont want to be over on politics.

i dont understand why people cant be like- hey I might not like McBenny or AmyG or whomever, but they built this place for us and are willing to jsut hand over the keys. Let's get out heads and thumbs out of our asses and just pick new admins and have individual boards nominate mods?

also- i mus have missed the Naria catfish thing? can anyone splain?

[freezorburn]

DNW to stay at TCF.

Feel skeptical about moving to a place set up by people who had a role in all the drama. Don't care who is right or telling truth.

Predict that small boards that don't care about the drama will stay at TCF out of inertia and the whole place will eventually die off

[charlotte]

Dramaphile A lot of people came and squatted on that politicsorwhat board (perhaps because they weren't sure where to go at one point?) and are fighting to the death about so much stuff that I and a lot of others who are posters from the politics thread itself just do not care about. I think most people who enjoy posting about politics are willing to go anywhere once it is decided, but they just want to hide out in our already-existing thread and avoid being yelled at in the meantime. I believe it is people from some other communities that are refusing to merge with this APlaceToMeet board or with McB. I have no interest in getting in the middle of that. It is my impression that Sterling (the poster who created politicsorwhat) made it as a temporary place and does not plan to keep it open.


I just want to be able to post with you guys and in the politics thread. I will go two places if I need to, but I'd rather everyone be together.


If everyone does end up on the same board I feel strongly about representation of admins who are not from Parenting.

[stringy]

charlotte, is that what's happening? should I throw your name in there? I'm assuming we have no representation, but we don't have many needs either (i think) - and admin is a big job.

yes, here i am. I'm not happy about it.

[charlotte]

stringy please no!

Are there any NJCD posters who feel they have time/desire to be on an Admin team? (I think they're looking for a team of 5 or 7)? I have a lot of respect for all of you and would trust most from here in such a position.

I agree NJCD is very low maintenance.

[mimsy]

I had considered admin... but that would seriously piss off A if I "ignored" S for imaginary friends.

I would consider modding if TJ didn't want to continue or someone else was voted in.

[mapleme]

From what I've read (which is admittedly not everything) this is the run down of where things stand:

Sterling started a Politics forum when forums were popping up all over the place. When shit went down on the politics board on SM everyone nearby recongregated there. It has always been meant as a temporary place and Sterling doesn't want to be admin.

McBenny didn't know where (besides SM) to go and wanted to make sure that there was a place for everyone to meet if SM and TCF went poof. So she started APTM and AmyG helped her design it to feel like TCF. McBenny has no interest in being an admin, she just didn't want to lose her people.

Right at the end of TCF McBenny said some hurtful things to the loss moms and they are refusing to go anywhere where she has access to their email and IP addresses.

The big issue with setting up a single home seems to be who holds the reins. So on Sterlings board (which is politics in name only) admin nominations/etc are happening (since the loss community doesn't want to go onto a MCB admined board and the nominations need to happen in one place).

Once admins are chosen and agreed upon there will be a discussion of where to go. The choices seem to be: 1) APTM with a new owner, 2) Politics with a new name, or 3) a whole new board with a fresh start.

The hope is that once we have a place that everyone is content with that folks who have left will come back. There have been lots of hurt all around this process, but many people are bonding over not giving Naria the satisfaction of seeing everyone fracture (and make sure that the small boards are happy with the new place and not migrate back to TCF).

Anyone can add/augment parts of this story that I have forgotten/missed.

[Dramaphile]

Thank you, mapleme, that helps a lot! I started to read some of the threads and got overwhelmed and didn't have time to read dozens of pages. I'm too busy at work to get caught up in the drama for now, but I will go wherever you guys go when the dust settles.

[freezorburn]

For those interested in checking out GBCN, here's the spot:

pandce.proboards.com/board/82/cloth-diapers

[freezorburn]

XP from TCF/NJCD, bc SAK asked if I wanted to make a case for GBCN, and I'm not sure who is still checking both places --

Here's what I'm thinking/feeling about all this. (a novella, by freezor)

I feel like Parenting is the common thread between how we all came to be at TCF, and this new APTM effort. This does not feel good to me. I don't know anything about Parenting, except that some good stuff must happen over there, or else why would people keep coming back, all day every day? But then there's this other side where a whole lot of people got emotionally charged really fast, overwhelmed another forum, and basically got someone else's internet home shut down. And then people are pointing fingers and piling on and the next thing you know, history is repeating itself.

What's the quote about insanity .... doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?

Here's the part where I do a little projecting. In my personal life, I am working hard to put a period of insanity behind me. And one thing that I am struggling with at this stage is whether I can trust my own judgment about people who I allow to be in my life. I need to prove to myself that I can make good choices. Ultimately, who is running an internet forum where I hang out is not a big deal. Especially if I am not interacting directly with them. But the way I see it, there are enough parallels between this situation with the forums, and the destructive cycles that I experienced in my marriage, that for me personally, following Parenting to another forum (it feels like that is what we would be doing) does not feel like the right decision. If I were to settle in there and it were to blow up (again) in a couple of years, I'll feel like I did myself a disservice. I know it's silly. It's just an internet forum. It's not a marriage. But I feel like I need to be the one who walks away this time, before things get really ugly.

So if APTM is the place for this community, I'll drop in and visit. Because I want to know how you all are doing. But I am not sure I can feel good about calling it home.
----

The case for GBCN:

I'll preface this by saying that what feels right to me may not be what is right for the NJCD board. That's cool. I'll just type away and see where this takes me.

GBCN is not trying to run a business. I like this. It exists for the purpose of helping people to maintain connections initially made on TK/TB, and there are support boards for various subsets of people. They have lost people over the years but they're not overly concerned with recruiting new people. From time to time, new people find them through various means and are welcomed in. It's quieter than it used to be, but it is doing just fine and doesn't care about competing with another site, and it seems content to just be what it is. In my book this is a good thing.

To be fair, the desktop version doesn't have the fancy coding that we've gotten used to at TCF. It looks the same on Tapatalk. Admin response times can vary, but is probably appropriate to the traffic level of the forum. And it would be a different task, to integrate into another place with its own culture, than to go somewhere that we could build from scratch. But I think much of that is mitigated by us having our own board as a starting point, rather than trying to integrate us straight into an existing board.

Also there's something about it that feels more stable to me than TCF or APTM ... perhaps because it never had the scale or ambition of either effort. It's not without its share of drama, though. If you explore a little and read the pinned posts of the individual boards, some have posts that allude to things that have happened in those communities, and how people agreed to conduct themselves in the aftermath. It's pretty insightful stuff. And I'm drawn to that kind of honesty.

That's all I've got. I think people would have to check it out for themselves and decide individually if they would feel comfortable there.

[McBenny]

May 22, 2017 11:21:36 GMT -6 mapleme said:

From what I've read (which is admittedly not everything) this is the run down of where things stand:

Sterling started a Politics forum when forums were popping up all over the place. When shit went down on the politics board on SM everyone nearby recongregated there. It has always been meant as a temporary place and Sterling doesn't want to be admin.

McBenny didn't know where (besides SM) to go and wanted to make sure that there was a place for everyone to meet if SM and TCF went poof. So she started APTM and AmyG helped her design it to feel like TCF. McBenny has no interest in being an admin, she just didn't want to lose her people.  I had the idea of having more than one Admin. Odd number. More of a tribe has spoken thing. The issue I had later one was that I was not including in the narrative about this. I feel this was done purposely to appease a few. I also created this forum because a lot of people at TCF were expressing not feeling comfortable at SM.

Right at the end of TCF McBenny said some hurtful things to the loss moms and they are refusing to go anywhere where she has access to their email and IP addresses. The argument was before any of this. Before even the move to SM.

The big issue with setting up a single home seems to be who holds the reins. So on Sterlings board (which is politics in name only) admin nominations/etc are happening (since the loss community doesn't want to go onto a MCB admined board and the nominations need to happen in one place). I was told this place was off the table only to wake up to nominations for Admins, LOL.

Once admins are chosen and agreed upon there will be a discussion of where to go. The choices seem to be: 1) APTM with a new owner, 2) Politics with a new name, or 3) a whole new board with a fresh start.

The hope is that once we have a place that everyone is content with that folks who have left will come back. There have been lots of hurt all around this process, but many people are bonding over not giving Naria the satisfaction of seeing everyone fracture (and make sure that the small boards are happy with the new place and not migrate back to TCF).

Anyone can add/augment parts of this story that I have forgotten/missed.

[McBenny]

May 25, 2017 1:39:02 GMT -6 freezorburn said:

Here's the part where I do a little projecting. In my personal life, I am working hard to put a period of insanity behind me. And one thing that I am struggling with at this stage is whether I can trust my own judgment about people who I allow to be in my life. I need to prove to myself that I can make good choices. Ultimately, who is running an internet forum where I hang out is not a big deal. Especially if I am not interacting directly with them. But the way I see it, there are enough parallels between this situation with the forums, and the destructive cycles that I experienced in my marriage, that for me personally, following Parenting to another forum (it feels like that is what we would be doing) does not feel like the right decision. If I were to settle in there and it were to blow up (again) in a couple of years, I'll feel like I did myself a disservice. I know it's silly. It's just an internet forum. It's not a marriage. But I feel like I need to be the one who walks away this time, before things get really ugly.

So if APTM is the place for this community, I'll drop in and visit. Because I want to know how you all are doing. But I am not sure I can feel good about calling it home.
----

The case for GBCN:

I'll preface this by saying that what feels right to me may not be what is right for the NJCD board. That's cool. I'll just type away and see where this takes me.

GBCN is not trying to run a business. I like this. It exists for the purpose of helping people to maintain connections initially made on TK/TB, and there are support boards for various subsets of people. They have lost people over the years but they're not overly concerned with recruiting new people. From time to time, new people find them through various means and are welcomed in. It's quieter than it used to be, but it is doing just fine and doesn't care about competing with another site, and it seems content to just be what it is. In my book this is a good thing.

To be fair, the desktop version doesn't have the fancy coding that we've gotten used to at TCF. It looks the same on Tapatalk. Admin response times can vary, but is probably appropriate to the traffic level of the forum. And it would be a different task, to integrate into another place with its own culture, than to go somewhere that we could build from scratch. But I think much of that is mitigated by us having our own board as a starting point, rather than trying to integrate us straight into an existing board.

Also there's something about it that feels more stable to me than TCF or APTM ... perhaps because it never had the scale or ambition of either effort. It's not without its share of drama, though. If you explore a little and read the pinned posts of the individual boards, some have posts that allude to things that have happened in those communities, and how people agreed to conduct themselves in the aftermath. It's pretty insightful stuff. And I'm drawn to that kind of honesty.

That's all I've got. I think people would have to check it out for themselves and decide individually if they would feel comfortable there.

You bring up a lot of good points. I too was willing to go to GBCN but "they" didn't want to. I get caught up in trying to be with the people I have established relationships with. I have said for years GBCN has been able to survive and thrive without marketing, etc.

I don't really think APTM is going anywhere. There is no one person that can go crazy and pull the plug so to speak. I hope you are able to find a new "home."

[tj]

McBenny it was cool of you to respond even though you don't "go" here. Thanks for setting this place up.