Potty shaming(?)

[northernlghts]

So DD is 3 and has been day trained for a while now. She's fine wearing her pull up at night but lately she doesn't always want to wear them at nap time. Preschool says they dont always put her in one either and 90% of the time its fine. But she's 3 and accidents have happened. We change clothes, change sheets and move on.

My mom has her today and she texted me that she told DD if she doesn't stay dry, she's not taking her some place she really wants to go. I'm annoyed. She's not doing it on purpose. How do I nicely tell my mom what she's doing isnt right when I see her tonight?

[sheilathetank]

I give you credit for attempting to be nice. I would not be. I would straight up tell my mom that shaming my daughter is absolutely unacceptable. We don't punish accidents. We punish bad behaviors. Bodily functions are not behaviors. This is as bad as when people yell at their kids for throwing up when they are sick.

[northernlghts]

Thanks Shelia. My mom needs to be a lot clearer when she messages me. DD was being stubborn, not going at all and not wanting to go before she took a nap. A lot different in my book than just telling her she can't do something if she has a true accident.