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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 11:13:55 GMT -6
Probably for air conditioning
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klong11
Emerald
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Post by klong11 on Sept 16, 2021 11:15:32 GMT -6
If you're innocent, then you're willingly going to the police with any information you have that could be helpful.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 11:19:10 GMT -6
The body cam footage was really interesting, I watched the first 45 minutes of it. In the video the police determined that she was the primary aggressor in the dispute & that they were going to have to charge her with domestic assault. Brian didn't want to pursue any charges. Honestly aside seeming a little anxious/jumpy from talking to the cops, he seemed like a pretty calm dude, from how both she & him described his part in the incident. It seemed like she was freaking out & he was trying to get space from her, & she wasn't having that. Based on what I saw it would be hard to imagine him killing her. Of course anything is possible, but that's my perception. Honestly I bet that whole thing was really embarrassing for her.
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apk4
Sapphire
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Post by apk4 on Sept 16, 2021 11:20:51 GMT -6
The body cam footage was really interesting, I watched the first 45 minutes of it. In the video the police determined that she was the primary aggressor in the dispute & that they were going to have to charge her with domestic assault. Brian didn't want to pursue any charges. Honestly aside seeming a little anxious/jumpy from talking to the cops, he seemed like a pretty calm dude, from how both she & him described his part in the incident. It seemed like she was freaking out & he was trying to get space from her, & she wasn't having that. Based on what I saw it would be hard to imagine him killing her. Of course anything is possible, but that's my perception. Honestly I bet that whole thing was really embarrassing for her. See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit.
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Foxy
Platinum
Like in life... IDK what I am doing
Posts: 2,130 Likes: 8,765
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Post by Foxy on Sept 16, 2021 11:23:20 GMT -6
The body cam footage was really interesting, I watched the first 45 minutes of it. In the video the police determined that she was the primary aggressor in the dispute & that they were going to have to charge her with domestic assault. Brian didn't want to pursue any charges. Honestly aside seeming a little anxious/jumpy from talking to the cops, he seemed like a pretty calm dude, from how both she & him described his part in the incident. It seemed like she was freaking out & he was trying to get space from her, & she wasn't having that. Based on what I saw it would be hard to imagine him killing her. Of course anything is possible, but that's my perception. Honestly I bet that whole thing was really embarrassing for her. See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit. I've seen people comment that the officers aren't recognizing its reactive abuse
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klong11
Emerald
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Post by klong11 on Sept 16, 2021 11:23:54 GMT -6
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Post by shamycooler on Sept 16, 2021 11:27:08 GMT -6
If you're innocent, then you're willingly going to the police with any information you have that could be helpful. Nah, i don't agree with this at all. This dude is hella shady, and very likely involved in her disappearance/death, but there are many valid reasons to not speak with the police. Even cops will tell friends/family, you don't give a statement to cops without a lawyer.
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Post by Sweetjane on Sept 16, 2021 11:27:11 GMT -6
So I was looking for the store info. One article just said grocery store without naming it. So it was the same Co Op where there other girl worked? Why can they give ALL the details in one place? I think the store is called moonflower, people in the comments on this tiktok video are freaking out because he named it in the video vm.tiktok.com/ZMRQwHgst/Ok that's just too much coincidence, statistically speaking these two cases ago be related. Also 6 hours at the coffee shop is not that bizarre. Rude if your just sitting there and not a paying customer. They are probably the type to buy something small and then linger, using the bathrooms and WiFi. I hope police talked to try he employee of the coffee shop, surely they remember a couple that was there for 6 hours.
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Post by Sweetjane on Sept 16, 2021 11:30:58 GMT -6
If you're innocent, then you're willingly going to the police with any information you have that could be helpful. Nah, i don't agree with this at all. This dude is hella shady, and very likely involved in her disappearance/death, but there are many valid reasons to not speak with the police. Even cops will tell friends/family, you don't give a statement to cops without a lawyer. [br Same. John and Patsy Ramsey taught us this back in 1996. You don't ever have to talk to the cops.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 11:31:04 GMT -6
The body cam footage was really interesting, I watched the first 45 minutes of it. In the video the police determined that she was the primary aggressor in the dispute & that they were going to have to charge her with domestic assault. Brian didn't want to pursue any charges. Honestly aside seeming a little anxious/jumpy from talking to the cops, he seemed like a pretty calm dude, from how both she & him described his part in the incident. It seemed like she was freaking out & he was trying to get space from her, & she wasn't having that. Based on what I saw it would be hard to imagine him killing her. Of course anything is possible, but that's my perception. Honestly I bet that whole thing was really embarrassing for her. See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit. Hmm. 🤔 Yeah I mean of course anything is possible, & it's hard to tell a lot based on just this one video, but to me he did seem a little weird but it came off more as nervous/jumpy, which I could understand. He apologized a ton of times to the police too. They both seemed like probably nice people, & it did seem like she was probably just having a mental breakdown. If he had been emotionally abusive prior to her getting upset I guess I would've thought she would mention that. But it will definitely be interesting to see what happens. It just would seem weird to me if someone who had the coping skills to try to "take space" & tell someone to "go on a walk to cool down" during a conflict suddenly lost it enough to kill someone. Crazy impulses can happen I guess though, it would just seem pretty weird.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 11:32:04 GMT -6
The body cam footage was really interesting, I watched the first 45 minutes of it. In the video the police determined that she was the primary aggressor in the dispute & that they were going to have to charge her with domestic assault. Brian didn't want to pursue any charges. Honestly aside seeming a little anxious/jumpy from talking to the cops, he seemed like a pretty calm dude, from how both she & him described his part in the incident. It seemed like she was freaking out & he was trying to get space from her, & she wasn't having that. Based on what I saw it would be hard to imagine him killing her. Of course anything is possible, but that's my perception. Honestly I bet that whole thing was really embarrassing for her. See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit. Also I am sorry your sister went through that.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 11:37:25 GMT -6
I keep wondering what her family thinks about the video. Since they probably know her best, I wonder what they would think is going on.
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Terp
Gold
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Post by Terp on Sept 16, 2021 11:47:21 GMT -6
How did his parents not ask questions when the van (and I am assuming him) showed up at their house and GF was gone? Did he just tell them he left her somewhere between UT and FL? My theory is he either told his parents the truth or they took one look at him and knew he did something bad and told him not to tell them. In either scenario they advised him to keep his mouth shut and got him a lawyer. As a side note: Nothing tests a relationship like a road trip.
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catmom88
Platinum
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Post by catmom88 on Sept 16, 2021 11:50:30 GMT -6
It looks like she was having or had a panic attack in the video to me.
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apk4
Sapphire
Posts: 3,722 Likes: 19,919
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Post by apk4 on Sept 16, 2021 11:55:53 GMT -6
Also I am sorry your sister went through that. Thank you. She did therapy for a bit, was single for a while, and now seems to be in a good relationship.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 16, 2021 11:56:47 GMT -6
See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit. Hmm. 🤔 Yeah I mean of course anything is possible, & it's hard to tell a lot based on just this one video, but to me he did seem a little weird but it came off more as nervous/jumpy, which I could understand. He apologized a ton of times to the police too. They both seemed like probably nice people, & it did seem like she was probably just having a mental breakdown. If he had been emotionally abusive prior to her getting upset I guess I would've thought she would mention that. But it will definitely be interesting to see what happens. It just would seem weird to me if someone who had the coping skills to try to "take space" & tell someone to "go on a walk to cool down" during a conflict suddenly lost it enough to kill someone. Crazy impulses can happen I guess though, it would just seem pretty weird. I am not sure why you would think that? Emotional abuse can be difficult to prove, and a lot of burden is put on the accuser. Given her age and the fact that they are in a relationship, I would have been far more shocked if she would have said something about it. It's pretty fucking easy to put on a show when you know you are being recorded.
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klong11
Emerald
Posts: 14,538 Likes: 84,575
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Post by klong11 on Sept 16, 2021 12:04:23 GMT -6
See, and I watched it and got weird vibes from him. Calling her crazy and kind of laughing at the situation. She kept apologizing for herself. It reminded me a lot of my sister's narcissistic abusive ex boyfriend. He would push and push and belittle her until she broke, and then she was always the bad guy. Also, yes, that is me projecting a bit. Hmm. 🤔 Yeah I mean of course anything is possible, & it's hard to tell a lot based on just this one video, but to me he did seem a little weird but it came off more as nervous/jumpy, which I could understand. He apologized a ton of times to the police too. They both seemed like probably nice people, & it did seem like she was probably just having a mental breakdown. If he had been emotionally abusive prior to her getting upset I guess I would've thought she would mention that. But it will definitely be interesting to see what happens. It just would seem weird to me if someone who had the coping skills to try to "take space" & tell someone to "go on a walk to cool down" during a conflict suddenly lost it enough to kill someone. Crazy impulses can happen I guess though, it would just seem pretty weird. He said he had those coping skills, but we don't know that he really did and said those things. Even if she said he did and said those things, it could just be what she is saying as an abuse victim to keep him happy.
Too many times have I seen on crime shows family and friends say, "I didn't view them as someone who could do something like that. They just didn't seem the 'type'".
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 12:12:36 GMT -6
Hmm. 🤔 Yeah I mean of course anything is possible, & it's hard to tell a lot based on just this one video, but to me he did seem a little weird but it came off more as nervous/jumpy, which I could understand. He apologized a ton of times to the police too. They both seemed like probably nice people, & it did seem like she was probably just having a mental breakdown. If he had been emotionally abusive prior to her getting upset I guess I would've thought she would mention that. But it will definitely be interesting to see what happens. It just would seem weird to me if someone who had the coping skills to try to "take space" & tell someone to "go on a walk to cool down" during a conflict suddenly lost it enough to kill someone. Crazy impulses can happen I guess though, it would just seem pretty weird. He said he had those coping skills, but we don't know that he really did and said those things. Even if she said he did and said those things, it could just be what she is saying as an abuse victim to keep him happy.
Too many times have I seen on crime shows family and friends say, "I didn't view them as someone who could do something like that. They just didn't seem the 'type'".
True, & I mean of course there's still a ton about their relationship dynamics we don't know. Regardless if he's a decent person or not I definitely think it's super fucked up of him to 1) not report her missing himself & 2) not to tell police where he last saw her or SOMETHING, to try to help. Unless he actually did kill her (which he could've), if she is somewhere possibly in danger then I can't imagine the lack of empathy to not want to help with that. If my kid came back home without their partner I would be a firm we are talking to the police. I understand not wanting to seem guilty & whatnot, but also this is a person's potential life & safety we're talking about. His lack of care about that is what I can't understand.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 12:20:35 GMT -6
Hmm. 🤔 Yeah I mean of course anything is possible, & it's hard to tell a lot based on just this one video, but to me he did seem a little weird but it came off more as nervous/jumpy, which I could understand. He apologized a ton of times to the police too. They both seemed like probably nice people, & it did seem like she was probably just having a mental breakdown. If he had been emotionally abusive prior to her getting upset I guess I would've thought she would mention that. But it will definitely be interesting to see what happens. It just would seem weird to me if someone who had the coping skills to try to "take space" & tell someone to "go on a walk to cool down" during a conflict suddenly lost it enough to kill someone. Crazy impulses can happen I guess though, it would just seem pretty weird. I am not sure why you would think that? Emotional abuse can be difficult to prove, and a lot of burden is put on the accuser. Given her age and the fact that they are in a relationship, I would have been far more shocked if she would have said something about it. It's pretty fucking easy to put on a show when you know you are being recorded. I don't mean for her to try to "prove" anything, I just mean that it's natural to defend yourself by explaining what led up to that, especially if you're being accused like she was, of being the aggressor. So if he made her feel bad in some way prior to that I think it would've made sense for her to say that, just to explain what led up to it. The only kind of negative thing she did say was that he might not believe she could do it, with making her blog. Maybe he was really heavily putting her down about that, I don't know, but she didn't really explain a lot. But also she was clearly distressed so she may have just had a hard time saying much. And yes, she could also be protecting him, but based off what they actually said it's just hard to say.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 16, 2021 12:24:44 GMT -6
Yeah no, if he is refusing to cooperate, and he somehow IS innocent, then he's being an absolute idiot. He knows something/everything. How incredibly frustrating for the family of Gabby.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 16, 2021 12:25:53 GMT -6
I am not sure why you would think that? Emotional abuse can be difficult to prove, and a lot of burden is put on the accuser. Given her age and the fact that they are in a relationship, I would have been far more shocked if she would have said something about it. It's pretty fucking easy to put on a show when you know you are being recorded. I don't mean for her to try to "prove" anything, I just mean that it's natural to defend yourself by explaining what led up to that, especially if you're being accused like she was, of being the aggressor. So if he made her feel bad in some way prior to that I think it would've made sense for her to say that, just to explain what led up to it. The only kind of negative thing she did say was that he might not believe she could do it, with making her blog. Maybe he was really heavily putting her down about that, I don't know, but she didn't really explain a lot. But also she was clearly distressed so she may have just had a hard time saying much. And yes, she could also be protecting him, but based off what they actually said it's just hard to say. I am going to venture a guess that you have never been in that type of relationship, which is fantastic. But stop.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 16, 2021 12:25:55 GMT -6
Most people don't realize they are being emotionally abused until after they are out of the relationship. It tends to be subtle and it slowly happens over time and progressively gets worse. Yes. 100%. I didn't label it for my own past relationship until I was in therapy afterward.
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Post by shamycooler on Sept 16, 2021 12:28:10 GMT -6
Yeah no, if he is refusing to cooperate, and he somehow IS innocent, then he's being an absolute idiot. He knows something/everything. How incredibly frustrating for the family of Gabby. I just want to be clear, that i think this guy is an asshole and most probably involved somehow. And i do wish that he would cooperate with LE. I can't get onboard with a sweeping generalized statement that ALL INNOCENT people should always be talking to the police. that's simply not true.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 16, 2021 12:29:32 GMT -6
Yeah no, if he is refusing to cooperate, and he somehow IS innocent, then he's being an absolute idiot. He knows something/everything. How incredibly frustrating for the family of Gabby. I just want to be clear, that i think this guy is an asshole and most probably involved somehow. And i do wish that he would cooperate with LE. I can't get onboard with a sweeping generalized statement that ALL INNOCENT people should always be talking to the police. that's simply not true. Yes, you are absolutely correct. I was thinking more in the context of these specific circumstances.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 12:31:38 GMT -6
I am definitely not saying I would've expected her to actually use the term "emotional abuse". I am very aware most people don't realize emotional abuse is happening until after the fact. I'm saying it would've made sense for her the describe him making her feel bad in some kind of way, like "he was making me feel bad, talking down to me, being rude", or something. Again, not saying her lack of saying that means he wasn't abusive. I'm just saying she didn't reference anything like that.
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Post by lifesaverz on Sept 16, 2021 12:34:47 GMT -6
And I'm not saying he's innocent. I'm just saying there was nothing glaringly obvious in that police stop. I'm very aware that people can "look" or "appear" that things are fine & that the reality can be something completely different.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 16, 2021 12:35:57 GMT -6
Most people don't realize they are being emotionally abused until after they are out of the relationship. It tends to be subtle and it slowly happens over time and progressively gets worse. Yes. 100%. I didn't label it for my own past relationship until I was in therapy afterward. It took me a long to time put that part together. Physical abuse was much easier to put a label on, and even then women are hesitant to come forward with it because so many times it gets pushed back on them and their actions. If that is the case (which we don't know, but if)- expecting a 20 year old to grasp that and come forward to law enforcement when she is 1,000's of miles from home is unrealistic. Let's say she did tell them and he's playing the calm, cool, and collected act in front of authorities and has already laid the groundwork that she is "unstable". She wouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt. If you think they are going to believe her over him, you haven't been paying attention to how women are treated in this country.
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Post by shamycooler on Sept 16, 2021 12:36:25 GMT -6
I am definitely not saying I would've expected her to actually use the term "emotional abuse". I definitely know most people don't realize emotional abuse is happening until after the fact. I'm saying it would've made sense for her the describe him making her feel bad in some kind of way, like "he was making me feel bad, talking down to me, being rude", or something. Again, not saying her lack of saying that means he wasn't abusive. I'm just saying she didn't reference anything like that. It's not that simple. She probably felt like it was her fault. Emotional abuse is insanely difficult to explain to people, and to break free from. Here's a quote i love that i think explains it well "I believed that if I kept digging I would find water. And sometimes I did. Just enough to sustain me. And when you’re dying of thirst, that water is the best water you’ll ever drink. When you’re alienated from your friends, there’s no one to tell you that there’s a drinking fountain 20 feet away. And when your self-worth reaches such depths after years of being treated like you’re worthless, you might find you think you deserve that sort of treatment, and no one else will love you."
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 16, 2021 12:37:18 GMT -6
I am definitely not saying I would've expected her to actually use the term "emotional abuse". I definitely know most people don't realize emotional abuse is happening until after the fact. I'm saying it would've made sense for her the describe him making her feel bad in some kind of way, like "he was making me feel bad, talking down to me, being rude", or something. Again, not saying her lack of saying that means he wasn't abusive. I'm just saying she didn't reference anything like that. ::headdesk::
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 16, 2021 12:38:16 GMT -6
GhoatMonket I agree, I definitely don't think at her age she would have been able to fully articulate if she was in an emotional/physically abusive relationship. I was in my early 20s when it all started and I didn't really see it for what it was until I was 25/26ish right toward the end. And that was because OTHER people in my life (both online and IRL) pointed out signs to me.
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