jnu76
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Posts: 947 Likes: 2,957 
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Post by jnu76 on Jul 17, 2021 18:47:13 GMT -6
This has been going on for a long time, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.
My mom has Alzheimer’s. I’ve been seeing signs for years and everyone told me I was imagining it. I wasn’t. Her sister died last spring after 10 years with early onset Alzheimer’s, so I know where this is going. My dad is in denial and fighting me every step of the way ( long story) and I’m an only child so I’m their support system.
The real issue is that while she’s still here, she’s a shadow of who she used to be and I miss her, and I feel like I need to grieve losing my “person,” but you can’t grieve someone who’s still with us, and the person I would talk this through with is her so I can’t. I know that I’m lucky to have a great relationship with my mom and to have her for this long. I just miss her and I’m not ok and I know that I just need to appreciate every day because I know where this goes. She doesn’t recognize pictures of me as a kid, but she knows who I am today and that has to be enough, because sooner than I’d like she won’t know me or my kids, but that’ll have to be enough too.
I’m sorry to unload all of this. I don’t feel like I can talk about this IRL, but I had to get it out. Thanks.
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Post by mintyblueair on Jul 17, 2021 20:01:52 GMT -6
I'm so very sorry to hear this. It must be so scary to think about what the future holds, but I hope you get as much time as possible with her and that her disease progresses as slowly as it possibly can. Please don't hesitate to talk about it here whenever you wish to.
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on Jul 17, 2021 20:10:12 GMT -6
I’m so sorry jnu76. That has to be so hard for you. Feel free to vent away and let out anything you need to. Lots of hugs. ❤️ |
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Post by ovenrack on Jul 18, 2021 6:17:27 GMT -6
Oh, Jnu. I’m so sorry.
My uncle, who I’m quite close to, had two parents with different sorts of dementia. He has early onset.
He knew it was coming, everyone knew, and this transition is still so hard. I used to have more blatant talks with him about the future and how he was feeling, but his wife finds a lot of that hard, understandably, and every time he visits things seem very different.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to have a person, you deserve to be able to open up to someone who loves you and is unconditionally supportive. It’s incredibly unfair and I hope that soon your family can come to peace with what the future holds.
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Post by charlotte on Jul 18, 2021 6:34:19 GMT -6
I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this.
In my old career (pre-kids) I worked with Alzheimer patients in their homes and in assisted living facilities. Everybody’s experience/progression was different, but the common thread was how difficult it was for the family members.
Feel free to vent here anytime. Sending love & support your way.💚
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tj
Moderator 
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Jul 18, 2021 11:09:22 GMT -6
I’m so sorry you are going through this. We went through something similar with my grandmother and it is just so hard. I just noticed this last trip that my dad is starting to show some signs as well. It’s very sad and scary.
Sending you much love.
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Post by rhymeswithdisco on Jul 18, 2021 12:41:30 GMT -6
I’m so sorry Jnu that must be so hard. Sending you love, friend.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,065 Likes: 16,080
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Post by mapleme on Jul 18, 2021 16:56:31 GMT -6
Oh Jnu, I'm so sorry. Definitely vent and share here whenever you want to.
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sarenu
Amethyst
Posts: 5,084 Likes: 10,327
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Post by sarenu on Jul 18, 2021 17:42:01 GMT -6
I’m so sorry. This happened with my MIL. But she became paranoid and aggressive in later stages.
Please push for your dad to seek help and care. It takes a toll on the spouse. We were honestly afraid we would lose FIL before MIL.
And please seek help for yourself. This is so hard on children.
This disease is awful for everyone involved.
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Post by pbandj714 on Jul 19, 2021 13:24:57 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. It is unfair and incredibly difficult. Sending you love.
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DGM
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Post by DGM on Jul 19, 2021 16:19:34 GMT -6
jnu76, I am so sorry you are going through this with your parents. We all love you and as others have said, vent away as needed. You're in my T&P.
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milano
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Post by milano on Jul 19, 2021 19:51:29 GMT -6
jnu76 I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
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Post by niko8083 on Jul 20, 2021 10:16:58 GMT -6
I’m so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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nikkipal
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Post by nikkipal on Jul 21, 2021 7:25:44 GMT -6
I am really sorry that this is happening to your family.
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Jul 21, 2021 10:50:52 GMT -6
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It is so hard, especially when the person you know is not there, but their body is. I know it's not really the same, but this is what we're going through with my grandmother, and every now and again I just get hit by the grief that I'm never going to be able to talk to her again the way that we used to. I find it's easiest to just go with the feeling and be in the moment with it.
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