TheoV2
Sapphire
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Post by TheoV2 on Apr 13, 2021 14:24:22 GMT -6
I've had a lot on my mind and I don't want to bring down other threads. I'm guessing others may also be dealing with some heavy things so I wanted to hold space for that.
Post your heavy things here.
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TheoV2
Sapphire
Posts: 3,597 Likes: 20,374
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Post by TheoV2 on Apr 13, 2021 14:28:12 GMT -6
The anniversary of my mom's murder was the other day. It's been over twenty years and it's still a hard day for me. I've been following the Kristin Smart situation and it has really had me thinking a lot about my mom. Her murderer was caught with DNA evidence, but the jury ended up finding him not guilty because the defense attorney convinced them it could have been a male relative of his and not him. I looked the guy up on social media today and it appears he's still out and about living his life per normal. I really wonder if he thinks about it every year also.
So those are the heavy thoughts of the moment that I needed to get out of my head. No hair pats or sorries needed. Share your own heavy things. Lighten your mental load.
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Post by angelashly on Apr 13, 2021 14:33:43 GMT -6
Oh wow that is a lot. I’m sorry that he got off like that. Vent away
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cmb
Sapphire
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Post by cmb on Apr 13, 2021 14:34:50 GMT -6
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Post by goldenbird on Apr 13, 2021 14:35:47 GMT -6
Oh my God TheoV2, I am so sorry. I didn't know about this. That's incredibly fucked up that he wasn't convicted.
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Post by bellatrix on Apr 13, 2021 14:36:15 GMT -6
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Post by ponyhairs on Apr 13, 2021 14:40:59 GMT -6
Oh TheoV2 I'm so very sorry. My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer back in October. He's had a rough go with chemo and it's been so hard to watch him suffer and feel so useless. I'm having a really hard time re-framing my thoughts of his diminished lifespan into enjoying whatever time we have left; I feel like I will never feel joy again. Knowing that I will be raising my daughter alone is crippling. The thought of losing my best friend and my rock is soul crushing. We have been together for 21 years and have had so much heartbreak (miscarriages, infertility, cancer) and it feels so fucking unfair that we won't get to have a "happy ending". I'm lost and heartbroken.
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trueblue
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Post by trueblue on Apr 13, 2021 14:43:31 GMT -6
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TheoV2
Sapphire
Posts: 3,597 Likes: 20,374
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Post by TheoV2 on Apr 13, 2021 14:44:20 GMT -6
That is so much for one person ponyhairs. If you ever feel like you just need to type your feelings or thoughts out and there isn't a place for it please feel free to PM me.
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cmb
Sapphire
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Post by cmb on Apr 13, 2021 14:48:56 GMT -6
I got the call less than 2 hours ago that they are turning off the machines on my grandfather. My aunt and grandmother are with him. Because covid, I won’t go visit or go to the funeral, and my family is giving me a lot of shit about it. I can’t risk it (TW below in spoiler for those who don’t frequent the NE covid thread.. covid related, too). I tried to talk to my boys about it (6 and almost 4), but they don’t seem to get it. He’s like a father to me. It’s been a lot to take in On March 31st, my grandmother said she had covid like symptoms, and on the 1st, he started. On the 2nd, they were tested and they came back positive. I set up their tests, so I received their results via email and called them immediately to tell them. They caught it from family they had over the weekend prior
My grandfather was better that Tuesday. He’s a T1D and had stage 4 cancer prostate cancer that met to the bone. I learned late last week his dr hasn’t been working to get his sugar under control and only saw “cancer” as the problem in his chart (they moved over the summer so he had to find all new doctors). On Wednesday, around noon, he was found unresponsive. He went into diabetic shock. When he made it to the ER, his sugar was over 700. Thursday night, they intubated him. On Friday, we learned he had a major heart attack that the hospital missed until then. They believe it happened as they transferred him from the ambulance into the hospital. He’s been 100% on the vent since then
I got to call and say goodbye, tell him that we all love him, but I ultimately hung up when I just couldn’t stay on the line anymore... I’m a complete mess, but trying to hold it together until the kids are in bed To top it all off, we all have a god damn stomach bug the younger two brought home from daycare 🤦🏼♀️
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Post by angelashly on Apr 13, 2021 14:49:18 GMT -6
Oh ponyhairs, I am so sorry. We are here for you
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cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
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Post by cmb on Apr 13, 2021 14:49:43 GMT -6
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Post by angelashly on Apr 13, 2021 14:50:44 GMT -6
Oh my cmb, that is so sad. How did they miss all that? Hope you get better soon
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Post by ponyhairs on Apr 13, 2021 14:51:50 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 14:51:53 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 14:52:41 GMT -6
ponyhairs is there anything you guys need? I know thats a lame question
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TheoV2
Sapphire
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Post by TheoV2 on Apr 13, 2021 14:59:21 GMT -6
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Post by sudokufan on Apr 13, 2021 15:08:13 GMT -6
cmb, TheoV2, ponyhairs, whoever needs them, hugs. My dad died due to Covid 2 weeks ago, and there's shit going on with their neighbors (who probably GAVE my dad Covid), and I couldn't go to the interment because I'm not fully vaccinated yet and they're 3 states away. I just need to hug my brother and mom, and I can't. And now the only family we know in our small town (DS's BFF) is dealing with Covid. I swing between angry and sad.
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Post by ponyhairs on Apr 13, 2021 15:12:36 GMT -6
sudokufan that's heartbreaking, I'm so sorry.
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TheoV2
Sapphire
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Post by TheoV2 on Apr 13, 2021 15:14:36 GMT -6
sudokufan I hope you can get home soon and the neighbor situation gets resolved.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 15:16:00 GMT -6
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cmb
Sapphire
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Post by cmb on Apr 13, 2021 15:30:54 GMT -6
sudokufan I’m so sorry 😞 those words really seem so empty when I say them, but I am. This whole really fucking suck Most of people that will be at the funeral will be unvaccinated. I don’t hit the considered immunized date until next week. Even if I was, I still have a high risk of bringing it back home because most of the people act as if the pandemic didn’t exist. I can’t risk it, but none of them get that
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Post by spicysalmonroll on Apr 13, 2021 15:38:02 GMT -6
Oh my gosh I feel awful for those who have already shared, I'm truly sorry for those heartbreaking things.
Last weekend, I held my grandfather's hand and basically watched him die (he died 12 hours later). It was the worst thing I've ever seen, as he was not "morphine coma" like my grandmother. He was moving and shaking and gasping for breath and fighting and it was just nothing I want to see again.
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Post by canteverremember on Apr 13, 2021 15:41:41 GMT -6
Oh gosh hugs to everyone in here. This is a lot to go through.
My friend was murdered in 1995, we were 16/17. They found her but haven’t ever been able to convict the killer. For 26 years there’s been walks and vigils and billboards and decent reward money but nothing. The Kristin Smart case is bringing up the memories hard rn. Just thinking of the families and the fallout of these tragedies. 💜 to everyone.
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Post by sunnysideup on Apr 13, 2021 15:46:23 GMT -6
I’m so sorry TheoV2. Sending all my love. She would be so proud of you.
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allisong
Platinum
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Post by allisong on Apr 13, 2021 15:46:29 GMT -6
I’m so sorry for everyone that’s going through it right now. Major hugs for all. ❤️❤️
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Post by babybean on Apr 13, 2021 15:47:40 GMT -6
Sending love all around.
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Post by fosterlove on Apr 13, 2021 15:50:05 GMT -6
My rapist came up on my social media which has lead me on a spiral. He is now married with a couple of kids and it just pisses me off. He is living his life like it was no big deal and I feel like every part of my last 9 years has been changed by him. It is hard to come to terms with it. I never turned him in so I feel like I don’t have a right to be angry when I didn’t advocate for myself.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Apr 13, 2021 16:01:42 GMT -6
I’m sending love to everyone in this thread, truly. Loss and grief right now feels compounded due to the pandemic.
My grandpa has been in and out of the hospital for a month now (not covid) and it’s still unknown if he will pull through. I lost two grandparents and two friends last year and I’m just at my wits end with grieving during this time and I am really hoping for a miracle.
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Post by coconutbacon on Apr 13, 2021 16:07:12 GMT -6
Sending love and strength to all of you dealing with loss and grief right now.
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