McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 20:02:21 GMT -6
I appreciate all the kind words too from those who have been through it. It let's me know this sucks but it will come to an end. We just hope to keep him safe, clean, and comfy until that time comes.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 20:02:54 GMT -6
His foot warmer already came and he was stoked. Thank you! 😭😭😭😭
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Post by Carmichael on Apr 12, 2021 20:42:58 GMT -6
I am so sorry. This is such a difficult situation to navigate. Keeping you in my thoughts. I sent a couple items but they won’t be there until Saturday. I hope that’s not too long.
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Post by babybean on Apr 12, 2021 20:52:14 GMT -6
McBenny I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope that they can send a home health aide. My mom had one when she was bed ridden and she came every day for a few hours to help my dad before she went to hospice. I second the toddler disposable bed mats. You can lay them directly on the sheets. Thank you for sharing your Amazon list, I’d like to help. Sending you strength and love. ETA: I can’t see the gift registry address in checkout ugh I am the worst. if I clicked “proceed to checkout” right away the address wouldn’t come up. When I played around with the screen and went back to my cart is showed up though.
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Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,874 Likes: 42,270
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Post by Yogurt on Apr 12, 2021 22:04:53 GMT -6
I can't get the address to show up no matter what I've tried 😪
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Post by jessijean on Apr 12, 2021 22:39:21 GMT -6
So much good advice here. My FIL passed away from pancreatic cancer and was given 3-6 months if he didn't do chemo so depending on what stage he's in he may be closer to hospice eligibility.
So many hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family. You're a saint to be functioning th through all of this stress.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 23:27:25 GMT -6
So much good advice here. My FIL passed away from pancreatic cancer and was given 3-6 months if he didn't do chemo so depending on what stage he's in he may be closer to hospice eligibility. So many hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family. You're a saint to be functioning th through all of this stress. not trying to be from but he told us he was dying from this cancer almost 4 years ago. I think he was doing treatment at one point in time. I'm not sure. He's hid the cancer diagnosis from some people.
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Post by PandaWatch on Apr 13, 2021 6:54:12 GMT -6
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I can’t imagine how hard it is. I have no additional advice, but wanted to send love, strength and positive vibes to you and your family.
You have so much going on. Please try to take some time for yourself to rest and recharge.
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Post by loveswaffles on Apr 13, 2021 7:10:24 GMT -6
Just wanted to add that you are amazing and I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
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clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,819 Likes: 32,820
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Post by clucky on Apr 13, 2021 7:28:39 GMT -6
Didn’t want to read and not comment. Sounds like you are both doing everything you can, and that has to be a comfort to him. I imagine, once he passes it will also bring comfort to YH and you as well. You will all be in my prayers.
As far as the friend, she can work through upgrading to the other apartment with them in July. She is sucking energy and space that isn’t available to her any longer. This may seem odd, but when I have to have conversations with my family about COVID boundaries, I channel something you posted, in a thread I was reading for perspective about the topic. It was, to paraphrase, set your boundaries, let them know them, if they don’t adjust, that doesn’t mean you have to relent. I would like to gently encourage you to McBenny her. If the apartment is available she needs to take it and figure it out without sucking any more energy from you and your family.
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Post by DavidRose on Apr 13, 2021 7:33:13 GMT -6
McBenny I don’t know what size you need for the thermals. Is adult small okay? ETA: welp, I’ve tried every which way to add this to my cart and I can only see the addresses I’ve mailed stuff to. Hopefully someone else can get the thermals. 😕 I got some. I am very sorry McBenny,
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Post by readyornot on Apr 13, 2021 7:58:20 GMT -6
Sending you strength and prayers McBenny. I'm sorry you have this to carry now, also. We will be praying for peace & comfort for your BIL & your whole family💜💜
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 13, 2021 8:04:58 GMT -6
Didn’t want to read and not comment. Sounds like you are both doing everything you can, and that has to be a comfort to him. I imagine, once he passes it will also bring comfort to YH and you as well. You will all be in my prayers. As far as the friend, she can work through upgrading to the other apartment with them in July. She is sucking energy and space that isn’t available to her any longer. This may seem odd, but when I have to have conversations with my family about COVID boundaries, I channel something you posted, in a thread I was reading for perspective about the topic. It was, to paraphrase, set your boundaries, let them know them, if they don’t adjust, that doesn’t mean you have to relent. I would like to gently encourage you to McBenny her. If the apartment is available she needs to take it and figure it out without sucking any more energy from you and your family. when she texted me her concerns and issues I told her it had nothing to do with us. She needs to keep her deadline. I brought up she can stay with her other friend. The one she said is her angel on earth.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 13, 2021 8:09:07 GMT -6
I want to thank everyone again. His Amazon list has shrunk now. It's amazing.
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Minerva
Ruby
Posts: 15,381 Likes: 67,036
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Post by Minerva on Apr 13, 2021 8:18:48 GMT -6
McBenny, I’m so sorry that your BIL and family are going through this. I’m holding you all in my prayers. We have the washable chucks from my kids’ bed wetting stage -they work great. I would recommend a few of those, covered by disposable chucks if the obvious areas, with a waterproof mattress pad under everything. The washable chucks are so much easier to wash than a mattress pad. We have these: RMS Ultra Soft 4-Layer Washable and Reusable Incontinence Bed Pad - Waterproof Bed Pads, 34"X36" www.amazon.com/dp/B0124XEUYC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ZBQYBG2CH8VKVEBRHY5A?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1Is there anything that would be helpful for you or your whole family that you could add to the Amazon wishlist? Snacks, blankets, favorite foods? Or practical household things like garbage bags, cleaners, paper towels, etc... that you will be consuming more quickly? It takes so much emotional effort to be a caregiver and I know we would like to do what we can to make things easier.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 13, 2021 8:19:40 GMT -6
Ok another question. Forgive me my ignorance on this but his skin. It's very dry and crispy looking.
Anyone recommend anything other than lotion? MH makes him bubble baths which bil loves and MH puts some of the Dr Teal bath oil in there. He said he comes out softer. Just wondering if anyone else has any secrets?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 8:21:10 GMT -6
Ok another question. Forgive me my ignorance on this but his skin. It's very dry and crispy looking. Anyone recommend anything other than lotion? MH makes him bubble baths which bil loves and MH puts some of the Dr Teal bath oil in there. He said he comes out softer. Just wondering if anyone else has any secrets? Is the Dr. Teal tea tree oil bath cause tea tree oil can be very drying Eta I may be thinking of something else so ignore me if I'm way off
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 13, 2021 8:21:24 GMT -6
McBenny, I’m so sorry that your BIL and family are going through this. I’m holding you all in my prayers. We have the washable chucks from my kids’ bed wetting stage -they work great. I would recommend a few of those, covered by disposable chucks if the obvious areas, with a waterproof mattress pad under everything. The washable chucks are so much easier to wash than a mattress pad. We have these: RMS Ultra Soft 4-Layer Washable and Reusable Incontinence Bed Pad - Waterproof Bed Pads, 34"X36" www.amazon.com/dp/B0124XEUYC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ZBQYBG2CH8VKVEBRHY5A?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1Is there anything that would be helpful for you or your whole family that you could add to the Amazon wishlist? Snacks, blankets, favorite foods? Or practical household things like garbage bags, cleaners, paper towels, etc... that you will be consuming more quickly? It takes so much emotional effort to be a caregiver and I know we would like to do what we can to make things easier. on the days he has an appetite he does love his snacks. He loves cookies and that kind of stuff.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 13, 2021 8:22:25 GMT -6
Ok another question. Forgive me my ignorance on this but his skin. It's very dry and crispy looking. Anyone recommend anything other than lotion? MH makes him bubble baths which bil loves and MH puts some of the Dr Teal bath oil in there. He said he comes out softer. Just wondering if anyone else has any secrets? Is the Dr. Teal tea tree oil bath cause tea tree oil can be very drying no its not tea tree. They have different ones. We have coconut something. It's supposed to be for moisturizing.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 8:23:07 GMT -6
Is the Dr. Teal tea tree oil bath cause tea tree oil can be very drying no its not tea tree. They have different ones. We have coconut something. It's supposed to be for moisturizing. Gotcha Dehydration can cause dry skin too.
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Post by taconight on Apr 13, 2021 8:33:06 GMT -6
This is really selfless of you, and I hope that karma rewards you for your kindness. I wish I had more supportive words.
For stains, we have always used Spot Shot. It has worked on vomit, blood, and dog poop stains on cream colored carpet.
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Post by readyornot on Apr 13, 2021 8:51:30 GMT -6
Ok another question. Forgive me my ignorance on this but his skin. It's very dry and crispy looking. Anyone recommend anything other than lotion? MH makes him bubble baths which bil loves and MH puts some of the Dr Teal bath oil in there. He said he comes out softer. Just wondering if anyone else has any secrets? Vitamin E oil maybe?
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clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,819 Likes: 32,820
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Post by clucky on Apr 13, 2021 8:52:16 GMT -6
Maybe helpful RE dry skin, but DS3’s specialist helps treat him for severe eczema. She says lotion or water (baths) followed immediately by an ointment to seal in the moisture, followed with cotton clothing. For that moisture barrier, we use CeraVe in the blue jar. CeraVe Healing Ointment | 12 Ounce | Cracked Skin Repair Skin Protectant with Petrolatum Ceramides | Lanolin & Fragrance Free smile.amazon.com/dp/B016F3MG2U/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_XRS636RK1G0APRS2V6BZFor a lotion that doesn’t sit on the skin, but soaks in, we use Udderly Smooth - which I found when I was handling cardboard and plastic all day. My GMIL loved it as well. Having a tube is nice for convenience and hands, but for baths the tub is nice. Udderly Smooth Duo Pack, Udder Body Cream Plus Udder Cream, 16 Ounce smile.amazon.com/dp/B00COOO7UO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_55K2A3A6SE4QB71GSFA1
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Post by enchanted on Apr 13, 2021 8:55:39 GMT -6
Aquafor for his skin when he's still slightly damp from a shower/bath. It can feel kind of greasy for a bit after, so long sleeves/pants are a good idea. (Baby wipes are good for getting it off hands once done applying.)
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jsgrl
Platinum
Posts: 2,240 Likes: 9,682
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Post by jsgrl on Apr 13, 2021 8:59:03 GMT -6
Maybe an oatmeal bath solution would be soothing.
Also, I haven't read everything about the roommate friend situation, but I think it's totally fair to tell her your circumstances have obviously changed and she needs to leave basically now.
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addymac
Emerald
Posts: 12,676 Likes: 54,005
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Post by addymac on Apr 13, 2021 9:04:31 GMT -6
McBenny, you want to use a cream not a lotion for him. (you probably already know this from dealing with your kids' eczema). I use Cetaphil cream that comes in a jar. it is amazing. I have very very dry skin and as soon as I slather it on me I feel so soft and my skin feels hydrated. (cream comes in jars, lotions come in pumps, USUALLY)
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Post by CestLaVie on Apr 13, 2021 9:10:14 GMT -6
Thinking of you all and sending support vibes ❤️❤️ I just purchased the hats... but it didn’t update- just a heads up to anyone else looking. thank you, I had these in my cart so I'll choose something different
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Post by Rusty Red on Apr 13, 2021 9:14:35 GMT -6
My mom has been using the Cerave cream in the jar for her healing skin from the burns. It seems to work really well for delicate skin areas.
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Post by sweptaway on Apr 13, 2021 9:27:00 GMT -6
Didn’t want to read and not comment. Sounds like you are both doing everything you can, and that has to be a comfort to him. I imagine, once he passes it will also bring comfort to YH and you as well. You will all be in my prayers. As far as the friend, she can work through upgrading to the other apartment with them in July. She is sucking energy and space that isn’t available to her any longer. This may seem odd, but when I have to have conversations with my family about COVID boundaries, I channel something you posted, in a thread I was reading for perspective about the topic. It was, to paraphrase, set your boundaries, let them know them, if they don’t adjust, that doesn’t mean you have to relent. I would like to gently encourage you to McBenny her. If the apartment is available she needs to take it and figure it out without sucking any more energy from you and your family. when she texted me her concerns and issues I told her it had nothing to do with us. She needs to keep her deadline. I brought up she can stay with her other friend. The one she said is her angel on earth. I cannot believe this woman has not vacated her room for a dying man. Just. Wow.
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addymac
Emerald
Posts: 12,676 Likes: 54,005
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Post by addymac on Apr 13, 2021 9:40:46 GMT -6
when she texted me her concerns and issues I told her it had nothing to do with us. She needs to keep her deadline. I brought up she can stay with her other friend. The one she said is her angel on earth. I cannot believe this woman has not vacated her room for a dying man. Just. Wow. Right? Like what the actual fuck.
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