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Post by MelanieCarmichael on Apr 12, 2021 8:10:41 GMT -6
You have gotten so much great advice and I'm sorry for coming in so late to this. McBenny, not that I ever had any doubt about what an amazingly kind and giving soul you are, but my goodness, you should be on the short list for sainthood.
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 8:25:26 GMT -6
I am just coming off a 12 hour shift and need to sleep but didn't want to read and not comment. I don't have time to RTMFT right now so a lot of this might be repeated info. Keeping him dry - you need chux and typically in our ICU we only do flat sheets. Get on YouTube and search changing an occupied bed - it's a CNA skill and you basically have the person roll, tuck the sheets under them, place the new sheets on the bed and tuck, then roll the other direction, pull dirty sheets and pull through clean sheets. That is a terrible explanation but I hope it helps. If you can elaborate more on how mobile or not mobile he is I can share more specific tips. I really don't want to be triggering or insensitive but am just wondering, is it an issue of him not having a poor enough prognosis or an insurance/monetary issue? Would he qualify for home health or home hospice? I hate this country and the way we treat the dying. You're an amazing person, McBenny, and I'm here for whatever medical questions/advice I can help with. I'm going to sleep now and then I work another 12 tonight so I'm sorry if I am slow to reply but I will do my best. I care for a lot of people on their deathbed and my best friend from nursing school does home hospice now so I am happy to ask her anything you need to know, too. You probably can never be too liberal with the pain medication. PDQ ***poof, sorry it wasn't up for long but I need to go to bed*** I think he's not close enough to death. I also feel he didn't tell them he had nowhere to stay cause he didn't know. He had someone pick him up and then the gf refused him.
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 8:26:12 GMT -6
Friend put me down as rental reference and they sent me a form yesterday. I filled it out and emailed it right back last night.
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kmkd
Amethyst
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Post by kmkd on Apr 12, 2021 8:54:25 GMT -6
Yes, overnight depends, and then a really good mattress protector. And I know how this sounds, I'm sorry - but the puppy training pads too. we've been using this so far. He doesn't like to put them on the bed but has accepted he has to now. I’m very late so this may have already been mentioned but you can order the fabric washable ones they use in hospitals. It would be more comfortable. I can send you some.
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kmkd
Amethyst
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Post by kmkd on Apr 12, 2021 8:58:57 GMT -6
Ok I’ve caught up. Please let us help you. What can we send?
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Diordra
Sapphire
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Post by Diordra on Apr 12, 2021 9:53:35 GMT -6
I don’t have any advice to offer, but wanted to send love to you and your family. Also echo PP and would be honored to help if there is anything we can do ❤️
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angelashly
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Post by angelashly on Apr 12, 2021 10:22:22 GMT -6
Ok I’ve caught up. Please let us help you. What can we send? This 100%
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Post by potatocakes on Apr 12, 2021 10:53:02 GMT -6
McBenny, please let us know how we can support you and your family. I strive to be (and have) a friend like you are.
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Post by Rusty Red on Apr 12, 2021 11:06:45 GMT -6
Friend put me down as rental reference and they sent me a form yesterday. I filled it out and emailed it right back last night. I want this to be you.
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Post by microworm on Apr 12, 2021 11:38:55 GMT -6
I'm very sorry. You have received great advice. Please let us help. This community is generous in many ways.
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PinkFreud
Opal
Anecdotes Police-Retired
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Post by PinkFreud on Apr 12, 2021 11:42:18 GMT -6
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 12:03:54 GMT -6
Friend put me down as rental reference and they sent me a form yesterday. I filled it out and emailed it right back last night. I want this to be you. Me too friend.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 12:07:09 GMT -6
I have had a few people ask ne about an Amazon list. I just am figuring out how to do it. I am working on it. I also briefly discussed some of suggestions with BIL. He was shivering last night so I told him of some of the options I was looking into.
He has always been very independent and always worked and took care of himself so he has a hard time asking or accepting help.
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maybe
Sapphire
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Post by maybe on Apr 12, 2021 12:12:19 GMT -6
Didn't want to read and not say something. I am sorry that this has fallen to you and your family. My biggest comment on this is to ensure that you put your lifevest is on first. Caregiving really sucks the life out of providers and I hope that you make sure to indulge in self-care and realistically cry uncle when you need to. I am so sad for him that he has found himself in this situation at this stage of his life with a terminal disease.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Apr 12, 2021 12:19:43 GMT -6
I have had a few people ask ne about an Amazon list. I just am figuring out how to do it. I am working on it. I also briefly discussed some of suggestions with BIL. He was shivering last night so I told him of some of the options I was looking into. He has always been very independent and always worked and took care of himself so he has a hard time asking or accepting help. Remind him that some people tend to not want to ask for help, But there is no shame in letting people help you out in your time of need. Its not a hand out, its a hand up from someone who cares and having more people in your life who care is always a good thing. My dad always liked the flannel pads like gerber makes for cribs, they are soft on both sides and can be cut to size to fit right under the problematic area so you dont have to have it as large. They are sometimes sweaty in the summer to lay on. Check adult anti chafing stuff, they are skin barriers and a spray is available. Feels less like you are a helpless baby with a diaper rash.
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jaidit
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Post by jaidit on Apr 12, 2021 12:22:33 GMT -6
I have had a few people ask ne about an Amazon list. I just am figuring out how to do it. I am working on it. I also briefly discussed some of suggestions with BIL. He was shivering last night so I told him of some of the options I was looking into. He has always been very independent and always worked and took care of himself so he has a hard time asking or accepting help. If you’re making a list, can you add a few “fun” or relaxing items for you and your family? It must be such a mental toll on everyone in the house.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Apr 12, 2021 12:23:43 GMT -6
Add moving boxes and put them in friends room Lol
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 12:44:06 GMT -6
Add moving boxes and put them in friends room Lol OMG this was the laugh I needed.
I love shade throwing Amy!
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Pistol
Diamond
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Post by Pistol on Apr 12, 2021 13:07:54 GMT -6
McBenny, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't really have any advice beyond what has been posted. *hugs*
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Apr 12, 2021 13:11:46 GMT -6
Add moving boxes and put them in friends room Lol OMG this was the laugh I needed.
I love shade throwing Amy!
well I would tell her that her time is up right now cause now you have a dying person who needs her room yesterday. and ask for your keys back
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2021 13:14:15 GMT -6
OMG this was the laugh I needed.
I love shade throwing Amy!
well I would tell her that her time is up right now cause now you have a dying person who needs her room yesterday. and ask for your keys back I agree. I'd give her 7 to 14 days notice, depending on how generous you're feeling that day. There has been exponentially ample time to find a new place.
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richard
Emerald
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Post by richard on Apr 12, 2021 13:15:33 GMT -6
I'm so sorry McBenny. I just want to echo that you shouldn't feel bad for acting on the impulse to help before you have the details of how to do that nailed down. You'll figure the details out and that first impulse just shows what a caring person you are - jumping in before your planning self felt ready. If there are longer-term things that could help lighten the load elsewhere for you and your DH, please think about those and share with HE so people can help. Like a drop-off laundry service or lawn care or something?
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 13:35:18 GMT -6
OMG this was the laugh I needed.
I love shade throwing Amy!
well I would tell her that her time is up right now cause now you have a dying person who needs her room yesterday. and ask for your keys back omg looks like she got approved but the unit she wants won't be ready until July. The one that is ready she said is smaller. I just said your deadline is May 31st.
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jorkzy
Emerald
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Post by jorkzy on Apr 12, 2021 13:42:25 GMT -6
well I would tell her that her time is up right now cause now you have a dying person who needs her room yesterday. and ask for your keys back omg looks like she got approved but the unit she wants won't be ready until July. The one that is ready she said is smaller. I just said your deadline is May 31st. You’re very generous. That’s still 6 weeks away. Does she not see the whole other human being that you’re trying to help right now? I can’t even.
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Post by Nonniedee on Apr 12, 2021 14:31:00 GMT -6
I'm responding to everyone now. For full disclosure on PayPal, I believe your name is shown (or at least the name you registered with) when you exchange funds. McBenny knows my real name and has not yet skin-suited me, but everyone else can determine their own level of comfort. I believe she's working on an Amazon list as well. Can confirm that my skin is in place. I’ve only received planner supplies
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 14:32:40 GMT -6
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 14:33:03 GMT -6
I'm responding to everyone now. For full disclosure on PayPal, I believe your name is shown (or at least the name you registered with) when you exchange funds. McBenny knows my real name and has not yet skin-suited me, but everyone else can determine their own level of comfort. I believe she's working on an Amazon list as well. Can confirm that my skin is in place. I’ve only received planner supplies this is so funny And pens 😂😂😂
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McBenny
Unicorn
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Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 14:35:03 GMT -6
I want to thank everyone ahead of time. I was very emotional yesterday and got it all out. He's younger than me and he looks 60 plus years and it's hard for me. Today has been a bad day. He didn't want to take his meds. I finally got him to take it.
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Apr 12, 2021 14:37:37 GMT -6
I am so sorry, McBenny. I can’t imagine.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,182 Likes: 296,671
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Post by McBenny on Apr 12, 2021 14:40:59 GMT -6
I know some people were wondering. My BIL has pancreatic cancer, cirrhosis of the liver, and hepatic encephalopathy.
He was a functioning alcohol for many years and raised his kids along as a single parent. He started drinking after his wife left him and the kids.
So this is a slow long death. We were told Dec 2017 that he was dying. He has neuro damage to his body now and mind.
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