RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Mar 12, 2021 8:30:58 GMT -6
I didn't want to bog down the weekly thread, but I could really use some virtual hugs.
My dad has been diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. We just found out on Tuesday that it's at least stage 3, possibly stage 4. The clinical team had their big multi-disciplinary meeting yesterday to discuss his case and determine the treatment plan. He's definitely going to get chemo/radiation, and then surgery (hopefully). The surgeon is optimistic that he can resect the tumor, especially if it shrinks after chemo/radiation. In the meantime, he has to get a feeding tube. He can't eat any solids, and on bad days he can't even keep water down. The opening in his esophagus is just that narrowed.
Since I'm the doctor in the family and he gets overwhelmed with medical stuff, he asked me to take charge of his stuff. So I'm the one taking the doctor calls and making his appointments. I was actually the one who got the call from the doc with the biopsy results, and then had to call my dad and tell him he has cancer. I don't mind, I'm glad I can help, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an emotional/mental burden. I'm also the one driving him to all his doctor appointments and tests. My brother just works too much, and I only work part time so I'm available.
The downside of being knowledgeable about medicine is that I know exactly what he's facing. I've even dissected several esophagus cancer resections during residency. I wish I didn't know as much as I do.
Anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest, and could really use a hug or two. Thanks for listening/reading.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Mar 12, 2021 8:33:54 GMT -6
Hugs hugs hugs. I’m so sorry. It’s really hard juggling the medical knowledge with the emotional aspect of it being your parent. I hope he responds well to the treatment and kicks cancer’s butt.
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roloma
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Post by roloma on Mar 12, 2021 8:34:04 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. Big, big hugs. That has to be so incredibly difficult. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.
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Post by cakewench on Mar 12, 2021 8:35:23 GMT -6
Oh rajah, I'm so sorry that your dad is going through this, and that you have to shoulder so much. Sending all of you my love and prayers for successful treatment and recovery. And let us know if there's anything we can do to help. <3
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jkjacq
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Post by jkjacq on Mar 12, 2021 8:38:25 GMT -6
Huge hugs and gentle hair pats. I'm so sorry.
As the caretaker for a parent with complex medical issues, remember you need to take care of yourself too, let us know if you need anything. It gets really overwhelming pretty fast, no matter how much knowledge you have because you're emotionally attached.
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on Mar 12, 2021 8:40:44 GMT -6
Oh rajah I'm so sorry. That's a whole lot to deal with. Hugs, of course. Please please please try to do something nice for yourself. Caretaker fatigue is real and sneaks up. You have to take care of yourself to take care of him, and that includes your mental health and wellness. Can you get a therapist for at least a few weeks?
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Post by greykitty on Mar 12, 2021 8:40:51 GMT -6
I am so sorry. My thoughts are with your dad, your entire family, and for you in being both daughter and medical expert right now.
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Post by bugglesbee on Mar 12, 2021 8:41:01 GMT -6
I am so sorry. I will keep your Dad and your family in my thoughts.
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Post by enchanted on Mar 12, 2021 8:55:07 GMT -6
I'm sorry. Sending all the hugs.
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RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Mar 12, 2021 8:55:35 GMT -6
Thank y'all so much. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 dc2london, I didn't even think about talking to a therapist. That might not be a bad idea. I've been playing video games a lot lately as a distraction, but I definitely haven't been sleeping well. Might help to talk to someone. |
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Post by justkeepmoving on Mar 12, 2021 8:59:07 GMT -6
This is a lot on your shoulders. I’m so very sorry for his diagnosis. Please take care of yourself. I really hope he beats cancer’s butt.
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RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Mar 12, 2021 8:59:29 GMT -6
On the plus side, thanks to being in healthcare, I'm already fully vaccinated for COVID. And my dad was able to get his first shot the same week we got the diagnosis (the shot was previously scheduled). He gets the second shot on the 20th. So he'll be at least partially protected when he starts treatment, and fully protected shortly thereafter.
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Eames
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Post by Eames on Mar 12, 2021 9:06:43 GMT -6
I am so sorry to hear this. That is quite a lot to deal with and I know it takes a big toll mentally. Your dad is so lucky to have you as a daughter. Sending a huge virtual hug.
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Ls2012
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Post by Ls2012 on Mar 12, 2021 9:32:03 GMT -6
I'm so, so sorry rajah. I hope his treatment goes as smoothly and successfully as possible. Huge hugs to you. You're an amazing person to take all this on.
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willow
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Post by willow on Mar 12, 2021 9:34:37 GMT -6
I'm so sorry, Rajah. Fuck cancer. I am sure he appreciates your help more than you know.
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Post by crimsonandclover on Mar 12, 2021 9:39:43 GMT -6
I'm so sorry, RajahMD, this is obviously going to be a rough time for all of you. As others have said, please try to take care of yourself, too. Huge hugs. |
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Post by Notarobot on Mar 12, 2021 9:42:28 GMT -6
I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
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iruntodrink
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Post by iruntodrink on Mar 12, 2021 9:56:22 GMT -6
Here for whatever you need, Raj - I hate to read all of this. ❤️ Hugs
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Post by lemondrop on Mar 12, 2021 10:21:38 GMT -6
Oh Rajah... I am so sorry, my friend ❤️ My thoughts are with you and your family. So many healing vibes ❤️
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Minerva
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Post by Minerva on Mar 12, 2021 10:31:45 GMT -6
RajahMD, I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m sending hugs and strength your way. I recently attended a talk on esophageal cancer given by a friend who is a radiation therapist. Her number one recommendation for friends and family (beyond getting screening for GERD) was to get a feeding tube ASAP, before radiation starts to have an effect, so I’m glad to hear he is doing that. I hope his treatment is effective with minimal side effects. ❤️
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Diordra
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Post by Diordra on Mar 12, 2021 10:31:55 GMT -6
I'm so sorry ((HUGS))
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Post by notblanche on Mar 12, 2021 10:44:21 GMT -6
Oh gosh RajahMD that's a lot. i'm sorry. please make sure to take care of yourself too. |
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Post by gymngemini on Mar 12, 2021 10:50:10 GMT -6
I'm so sorry to read this. Fuck cancer. I'm sure it's so helpful to him to have your knowledge and availability. I'll echo everyone else and say to please take care of yourself throughout all this as well. On a positive anecdote note, my uncle was diagnosed with esophageal cancer about 8 years ago. He had surgery and treatment and is doing very well right now. He's also a doctor so kinda had the same blessing/curse of knowledge going into it.
Sending good thoughts and strength to you all.
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poptarts
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Post by poptarts on Mar 12, 2021 11:19:25 GMT -6
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Post by oreobitsy on Mar 12, 2021 11:21:46 GMT -6
RajahMD I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. That’s a lot to have on your shoulders. I hope the treatment gives him less pain.
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RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Mar 12, 2021 11:22:47 GMT -6
I'm so sorry to read this. Fuck cancer. I'm sure it's so helpful to him to have your knowledge and availability. I'll echo everyone else and say to please take care of yourself throughout all this as well. On a positive anecdote note, my uncle was diagnosed with esophageal cancer about 8 years ago. He had surgery and treatment and is doing very well right now. He's also a doctor so kinda had the same blessing/curse of knowledge going into it. Sending good thoughts and strength to you all. Bless you for the positive anecdote. With my anxiety, I tend to focus on worst case scenarios. Hearing stories like that reminds me that prognosis is just statistics, not a prediction. Thank you. |
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RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Mar 12, 2021 11:23:59 GMT -6
RajahMD, I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m sending hugs and strength your way. I recently attended a talk on esophageal cancer given by a friend who is a radiation therapist. Her number one recommendation for friends and family (beyond getting screening for GERD) was to get a feeding tube ASAP, before radiation starts to have an effect, so I’m glad to hear he is doing that. I hope his treatment is effective with minimal side effects. ❤️ Poor guy has lost 50 pounds since the beginning of January. He definitely needs the feeding tube ASAP. I'm glad I was able to convince him to agree to it. I think it'll make him feel alot better. |
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Minerva
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Post by Minerva on Mar 12, 2021 11:33:08 GMT -6
RajahMD, I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m sending hugs and strength your way. I recently attended a talk on esophageal cancer given by a friend who is a radiation therapist. Her number one recommendation for friends and family (beyond getting screening for GERD) was to get a feeding tube ASAP, before radiation starts to have an effect, so I’m glad to hear he is doing that. I hope his treatment is effective with minimal side effects. ❤️ Poor guy has lost 50 pounds since the beginning of January. He definitely needs the feeding tube ASAP. I'm glad I was able to convince him to agree to it. I think it'll make him feel alot better. Oh, that’s awful. Poor guy, indeed. I’m really glad he has you to help him navigate everything. Please lean on us for support. |
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overboard
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Post by overboard on Mar 12, 2021 12:08:32 GMT -6
I’m sorry to hear this. Please vent whenever and however you want to here.
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clucky
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Post by clucky on Mar 12, 2021 12:30:22 GMT -6
Oh Rajah, I’m so sorry you are having to manage all that. it is a lot. You both will be in my prayers and hoping the tumor will shrink. Sending you weird internet stranger thoughts and hugs.
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