clucky
Opal
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Post by clucky on Feb 22, 2021 10:19:59 GMT -6
Oh lemondrop you definitely need a do over. Happy Belated and also early re-Birthday!
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clucky
Opal
Posts: 7,819 Likes: 32,820
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Post by clucky on Feb 22, 2021 10:21:13 GMT -6
Oh gosh lemondrop, I winced at the description and your poor red face! But also you are beautiful even with a chemical burn lol. Like seriously so lovely! Your eyes are captivating. Eyes were also the first thing I noticed too. Lovely.
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Ls2012
Amethyst
Posts: 7,364 Likes: 32,621
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 22, 2021 10:27:14 GMT -6
Yikes lemondrop! I'm so sorry. That sounds awful. Definitely think you should get a do-over day.
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Ls2012
Amethyst
Posts: 7,364 Likes: 32,621
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 22, 2021 10:31:30 GMT -6
My treadmill is behind S1's desk so I get to watch 5th grade while I'm on it and S1's class has a weekly block of mindfulness, emotional regulation and mental wellness time. It's really well done and I love that they take time to do it. I wish dd2's class had something like that. Instead, I'm throwing all the money at Slumberkins and Generation Mindful to make a "focus on feelings" corner. Dd2 in particular has a very difficult time coming down from her strong emotion moments, so I'm really hoping an extra emphasis will help. I could probably use it, too. 😉
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 22, 2021 10:33:35 GMT -6
Thank you willow and clucky - you can't see it, but I'm blushing. <3
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snowyowl
Amethyst
Posts: 6,793 Likes: 31,079
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Post by snowyowl on Feb 22, 2021 10:39:35 GMT -6
I’m having a hard time with DS2’s third birthday, which I didn’t see coming.
It’s silly, but somehow his developmental delays seem more real. When I could say he was two, it all felt more flexible somehow. Like, lots of two year olds don’t talk much and then suddenly start chatting away. But at three, it feels different. A day shouldn’t make a difference, he’s the same kid he was last week, but I’m sad anyway. Then I stupidly watched some videos of DS1’s third birthday, and the differences are so glaring. DS1 also didn’t spend a year locked down in a pandemic, and got six months of in-person speech through early intervention. It’s beyond ridiculous to compare them, but I did it anyway.
I keep telling H that test results and diagnoses are never going to change him as a person, he’s still the boy we love as he is. But it’s feeling a little hollow right now.
Anyway, he heads to integrated preschool starting Thursday and I’m hoping it makes a big difference in his progress. No sense worrying about a future that could look a million different ways.
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 22, 2021 10:56:55 GMT -6
snowyowl, so much love to you and your family, my friend <3
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Post by carmensandiego on Feb 22, 2021 10:57:48 GMT -6
lemondrop, hopefully your un-birthday celebration goes much more smoothly and happy belated birthday! snowyowl, sending you good vibes. Developmental delays are tough to deal with all around. Hopefully preschool will help him with his progress. It did with my oldest.
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Post by notblanche on Feb 22, 2021 11:20:23 GMT -6
lemondrop you poor thing. you absolutely need a do over. i like the air bnb idea someone else mentioned. snowyowl sending love to you. be kind to you, and give yourself the space to feel your feelings.
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fatpony
Amethyst
Posts: 5,572 Likes: 30,736
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Post by fatpony on Feb 22, 2021 11:22:11 GMT -6
lemondrop, happy belated. For sure give yourself a do over.
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overboard
Sapphire
Dull normal
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Post by overboard on Feb 22, 2021 11:25:01 GMT -6
snowyowl I’m sorry. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, and you’re allowed to have them. (I hope that does not sound condescending because I certainly don’t mean it to be) The pandemic is exasperating so many issues. I’m sure things will start an upward swing soon. In the meantime, enjoy a morgorita if you can. You deserve it.
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overboard
Sapphire
Dull normal
Posts: 3,128 Likes: 15,805
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Post by overboard on Feb 22, 2021 11:26:35 GMT -6
Yes. I took K to her ped in the fall for exactly this. She was furious at everyone and everything at all times, and her frustration tolerance was nonexistent. Ped recommended a counselor and suggested we start with the school to see what they could provide. K started talking to the school counselor twice a week via zoom. It helped her a lot. Now she talks to the counselor once a week. Thanks for this. I should definitely reach out to S2's 504 coordinator. His school counselor is fabulous. I feel like a broken record, but this year has been so hard on kids. Some of it is bound to come out as anger. Definitely lean on the school counselor. Ours have been amazing.
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byjove
Ruby
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Post by byjove on Feb 22, 2021 13:35:43 GMT -6
I can't remember what I was listening to or watching yesterday but a pediatrician said that, if your child is responding to minor frustrations with anger, it's time to speak with their doctor. Just putting that out there because I had reached out to our pediatrician about both of my boys and felt maybe I was off base, but that doctor's words reassured me that I was doing the right thing. Yes. I took K to her ped in the fall for exactly this. She was furious at everyone and everything at all times, and her frustration tolerance was nonexistent. Ped recommended a counselor and suggested we start with the school to see what they could provide. K started talking to the school counselor twice a week via zoom. It helped her a lot. Now she talks to the counselor once a week. That's good to hear. DD1 goes through phases where she struggles. She had a reallllllly hard time to the transition to K, and we tried in person counseling and it was just an epic fail and she wouldn't talk to her or just cried. I wonder if something like that might help now, but I'm pretty sure she'd just refuse to engage.
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athn64
Ruby
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Post by athn64 on Feb 22, 2021 14:45:34 GMT -6
My treadmill is behind S1's desk so I get to watch 5th grade while I'm on it and S1's class has a weekly block of mindfulness, emotional regulation and mental wellness time. It's really well done and I love that they take time to do it. I wish dd2's class had something like that. Instead, I'm throwing all the money at Slumberkins and Generation Mindful to make a "focus on feelings" corner. Dd2 in particular has a very difficult time coming down from her strong emotion moments, so I'm really hoping an extra emphasis will help. I could probably use it, too. 😉 Cosmic Kids on youtube has some mindfulness videos that have been helpful with my kids that might be helpful to watch too.
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iqeb
Bronze
Posts: 173 Likes: 409
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Post by iqeb on Feb 22, 2021 16:03:55 GMT -6
Like you podcast has been great for my 3 and 5 year olds. I try to make time to cuddle up with them and listen to it with no distractions right before their quiet time.
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dc2london
Admin
Press Secretary
Posts: 61,556 Likes: 418,841
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Post by dc2london on Feb 22, 2021 16:19:05 GMT -6
Like you podcast has been great for my 3 and 5 year olds. I try to make time to cuddle up with them and listen to it with no distractions right before their quiet time. Oh hello new friend
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Post by karabear on Feb 22, 2021 16:42:16 GMT -6
So much love to all of you. I’m trying to catch up and like/commiserate with everyone. I haven’t been in here in a while because my mental health hasn’t been in a place to even read about mental health. Sooo...that’s where I’ve been.
I felt like I was drowning for a little while. Virtual school was killing me. My first grader is either gifted, ADHD or both...we are on the wait list for gifted testing. But virtual school with him was breaking me. I’ve also been having a lot of health issues for a while, but I think we are finally getting somewhere. I recently got a diagnosis of mast cell activation syndrome, and starting treatment for that has been pretty life changing. I can eat gluten again. 🙌🏻
My kids went back to school today, so FREEDOM. I booked myself a massage and body scrub for Wednesday (I’m a couple weeks out from my second vaccine). So, I’m starting to feel hopeful and excited again.
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snowyowl
Amethyst
Posts: 6,793 Likes: 31,079
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Post by snowyowl on Feb 22, 2021 16:51:53 GMT -6
snowyowl I’m sorry. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, and you’re allowed to have them. (I hope that does not sound condescending because I certainly don’t mean it to be) The pandemic is exasperating so many issues. I’m sure things will start an upward swing soon. In the meantime, enjoy a morgorita if you can. You deserve it. Not condescending at all! It feels a bit like my rational brain and my emotional brain are in a fight. And neither side is winning 😂 Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the kind words ❤️
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Post by coffeecake on Feb 22, 2021 18:03:16 GMT -6
Just wanted to share that my mom got her second shot today. I’m so relieved! She has been very careful about going out and doesn’t plan to change much, but I feel better about my kids seeing her. She lives alone, so this past year has been difficult for her.
And my dad and stepmom are getting their second dose this week. They aren’t local to us and they are very careful, too. They only go to the grocery. So I don’t think we’ll see them anytime soon, but I’m glad they will be more protected.
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dc2london
Admin
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Post by dc2london on Feb 22, 2021 19:18:11 GMT -6
My 25 lb daughter just bounced so aggressively on her little toddler trampoline that she hit floor, if that gives you any indication of how we're doing
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cp3
Opal
Posts: 7,895 Likes: 34,435
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Post by cp3 on Feb 24, 2021 19:54:22 GMT -6
I've been skimming this thread but haven't been in the best place to really respond. I am sorry for everyone that is struggling. It's all so hard and I can't believe we are coming up on a year of this. This is going to be a big brain dump so feel free to skip. And TW for addiction.
I've shared here before that my younger brother has suffered with addiction since he was a teenager. The type has varied but his drug of choice is usually heroin. He's overdosed a few times and I feel like I have PTSD from when my mom has called me to tell me about the last one when he almost died. My stomach drops anytime my mom calls me which sucks.
He's done a few stints in rehab out of state which has pretty much wiped my mom out financially and as soon as he is back here he gets back with his friends and goes back to using.
I've distanced myself from him significantly the past few years because I figure if I don't have a relationship with him then when, not if, he dies from an overdose it won't hurt me as bad. Which I know isn't true but I'm trying to protect myself.
Anyway, the pandemic has been really hard on him so he's had a few relapses with alcohol and heroin. He had been doing good recently and just got a new job but he got in a fight with his girlfriend yesterday and got arrested and now we find out he's started using meth.
I'm just so angry. And as much as my mom keeps saying she needs to let him hit rock bottom, she is picking up the pieces and trying to find him a shelter to stay at once he is released from jail. My other siblings and I have had so many conversations with my mom about this and it's so hard. And I know it's way harder for her as a parent because I would have a hard time if this was my child but I hate the toll it is taking on my mom.
And I'm mad that I'm upset about this and letting it affect me as much as it is. I hate that I feel like I keep grieving someone that is still alive and I hate that nothing has changed the past 15 years.
I'm just angry and sad today and needed to get this out.
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Ls2012
Amethyst
Posts: 7,364 Likes: 32,621
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 24, 2021 20:13:08 GMT -6
I am so sorry, cp3. Addiction is a terrible disease for everyone it touches. Please try to give yourself the grace to feel- no matter how much you think you shouldn't. They're all valid. So many hugs to you and your family.
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Post by enchanted on Feb 24, 2021 20:20:43 GMT -6
I'm so sorry, cp3. Addiction is so hard on families, even when they try to protect themselves (which is never wrong). ♥️
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addymac
Emerald
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Post by addymac on Feb 24, 2021 20:33:30 GMT -6
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byjove
Ruby
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Post by byjove on Feb 24, 2021 21:02:59 GMT -6
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cp3
Opal
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Post by cp3 on Feb 24, 2021 21:06:45 GMT -6
Thanks all. I just needed to get it out and you guys are always so amazing. ❤
I definitely think I need to look into finding a therapist again. I did therapy a few years ago and it really helped to just word vomit to a neutral party.
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on Feb 24, 2021 21:08:41 GMT -6
cp3 you are dealing with a situation that's insurmountably difficult (addiction in a loved one) during a separate situation that's insurmountable (a highly contagious deadly pandemic) and that's awful. I'm so sorry. None of that is fair or ok and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You and he will be in my prayers.
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Post by justkeepmoving on Feb 24, 2021 21:10:23 GMT -6
Hugs cp3. I’ve gone through and still go through the same thing with my brother. Unfortunately he and I don’t have much of a relationship either. And my dad enables more than he should. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be a parent of an addict.
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cp3
Opal
Posts: 7,895 Likes: 34,435
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Post by cp3 on Feb 24, 2021 21:26:57 GMT -6
Hugs cp3. I’ve gone through and still go through the same thing with my brother. Unfortunately he and I don’t have much of a relationship either. And my dad enables more than he should. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to be a parent of an addict. Yeah I can't imagine and now that I'm a parent myself I understand my mom's struggle even more. And she has a lot of experience with addiction as my Dad is one and she has been able to leave him and let go of the relationship of one of her siblings but she always says it's just so hard with it being her child. My mom would really benefit from therapy herself but doesn't think she needs it. I'm sorry you are in this boat too. It's definitely hard and emotionally draining.
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Post by catspajamas on Feb 24, 2021 21:43:52 GMT -6
cp3 I can relate... like, a lot. Down to the sinking feeling when your parents call (my brother overdosed on heroin a few years ago, thankfully he survived, but I will never forget every detail of that night). It’s been going on since we were teenagers, has really colored my life in every way, and it’s hard and exhausting and heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you are dealing with it. If you ever need an ear I’m here. <3
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