Ls2012
Amethyst
Posts: 7,364 Likes: 32,621
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 16, 2021 10:57:39 GMT -6
The lockdown anniversary for us was/is my birthday. This year is my 40th and my H booked me a hotel for the weekend by myself. I am going to garage and not talk to anyone for 48hrs. That sounds like pure heaven.
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 16, 2021 11:27:36 GMT -6
I'm jealous of my friends who have family nearby, even for masked visits. We cancelled my DS's 1st birthday last year bc we were in lockdown, and then cancelled summer plans, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now everyone cancelled coming to my son's 2nd birthday (understandably) in early April. I know it's small in the scheme of things, but I had such big pinterest dreams when I was in the middle of my 1st bout of infertility of how I was going to celebrate my baby. Now I'm in the middle of our second infertility bout (where we've learned that my H is fine and I'm the problem), and I can't even socially distance celebrate my little boy with his family and a slice of friggen cake. And my insurance doesn't cover IVF so there goes my savings.
I feel like I'm starting to hate everything and everyone. But it's finally sunny today so I guess there's that.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 16, 2021 11:35:44 GMT -6
I'm jealous of my friends who have family nearby, even for masked visits. We cancelled my DS's 1st birthday last year bc we were in lockdown, and then cancelled summer plans, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now everyone cancelled coming to my son's 2nd birthday (understandably) in early April. I know it's small in the scheme of things, but I had such big pinterest dreams when I was in the middle of my 1st bout of infertility of how I was going to celebrate my baby. Now I'm in the middle of our second infertility bout (where we've learned that my H is fine and I'm the problem), and I can't even socially distance celebrate my little boy with his family and a slice of friggen cake. And my insurance doesn't cover IVF so there goes my savings. I feel like I'm starting to hate everything and everyone. But it's finally sunny today so I guess there's that. I'm so sorry for the infertility struggles. I can't even imagine how hard that has to be to go through it twice. Can you do the pinteresty birthday? Just your little family. Do the whole decorations, and cake, and presents, and everything? I know it's not entirely the same without your family there, but GDI you deserve to celebrate your kid. DD's birthday is in a week, and her bday party last year was the last time we had a big get together with friends and family. This year we are doing something very small with her bff and my ILs who we've been seeing this whole time. I took her to party city and basically let her have the run of the place. Got her balloons, made a kick ass goodie bag, and got some cool decorations. So her birthday theme this year is dinosaur, jojo siwa, and my little pony. She is sooooo excited now, and it was such a small thing to bring joy to her birthday. My DS turns one in April and i have MAJOR guilt that he won't get the big party DD had. Not like he'll care since he's a baby, but the mom guilt is still there.
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elle
Ruby
Posts: 17,516 Likes: 112,523
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Post by elle on Feb 16, 2021 11:36:28 GMT -6
Hugs to everyone here. It's all so hard. Rebel I'm relieved your neighbors can help out with the water situation. I hope you get your power restored soon. treeofheaven - I'm glad you are able to rely on your parents for support; that's a lot to deal with during normal times, during a pandemic, well, it just adds so many difficult layers. As for me I have okay days and not so okay days but I'm muddling through as best I can right now. Will it help if I keep sharing funny shit in my IG stories? ❤️ Always ❤
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 16, 2021 11:46:58 GMT -6
I'm jealous of my friends who have family nearby, even for masked visits. We cancelled my DS's 1st birthday last year bc we were in lockdown, and then cancelled summer plans, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now everyone cancelled coming to my son's 2nd birthday (understandably) in early April. I know it's small in the scheme of things, but I had such big pinterest dreams when I was in the middle of my 1st bout of infertility of how I was going to celebrate my baby. Now I'm in the middle of our second infertility bout (where we've learned that my H is fine and I'm the problem), and I can't even socially distance celebrate my little boy with his family and a slice of friggen cake. And my insurance doesn't cover IVF so there goes my savings. I feel like I'm starting to hate everything and everyone. But it's finally sunny today so I guess there's that. I'm so sorry for the infertility struggles. I can't even imagine how hard that has to be to go through it twice. Can you do the pinteresty birthday? Just your little family. Do the whole decorations, and cake, and presents, and everything? I know it's not entirely the same without your family there, but GDI you deserve to celebrate your kid. DD's birthday is in a week, and her bday party last year was the last time we had a big get together with friends and family. This year we are doing something very small with her bff and my ILs who we've been seeing this whole time. I took her to party city and basically let her have the run of the place. Got her balloons, made a kick ass goodie bag, and got some cool decorations. So her birthday theme this year is dinosaur, jojo siwa, and my little pony. She is sooooo excited now, and it was such a small thing to bring joy to her birthday. My DS turns one in April and i have MAJOR guilt that he won't get the big party DD had. Not like he'll care since he's a baby, but the mom guilt is still there. I tried that last year to a degree. It really just made me more sad/annoyed, bc he was so cute and excited over how it looked like Elmo threw up all over the kitchen, and all the olds on Zoom were trying to talk over each other and yelling at Max to "look at the camera". Guys. He's one, he's focused on the one piece of tape slightly coming off some wrapping paper. I know he won't remember, and I'll probably buy more Paw Patrol crap than I need for 3 people on Etsy, but I'm just over not being able to see everyone and letting them all see how big he's gotten and how sweet and crazy.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 16, 2021 11:55:53 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for the infertility struggles. I can't even imagine how hard that has to be to go through it twice. Can you do the pinteresty birthday? Just your little family. Do the whole decorations, and cake, and presents, and everything? I know it's not entirely the same without your family there, but GDI you deserve to celebrate your kid. DD's birthday is in a week, and her bday party last year was the last time we had a big get together with friends and family. This year we are doing something very small with her bff and my ILs who we've been seeing this whole time. I took her to party city and basically let her have the run of the place. Got her balloons, made a kick ass goodie bag, and got some cool decorations. So her birthday theme this year is dinosaur, jojo siwa, and my little pony. She is sooooo excited now, and it was such a small thing to bring joy to her birthday. My DS turns one in April and i have MAJOR guilt that he won't get the big party DD had. Not like he'll care since he's a baby, but the mom guilt is still there. I tried that last year to a degree. It really just made me more sad/annoyed, bc he was so cute and excited over how it looked like Elmo threw up all over the kitchen, and all the olds on Zoom were trying to talk over each other and yelling at Max to "look at the camera". Guys. He's one, he's focused on the one piece of tape slightly coming off some wrapping paper. I know he won't remember, and I'll probably buy more Paw Patrol crap than I need for 3 people on Etsy, but I'm just over not being able to see everyone and letting them all see how big he's gotten and how sweet and crazy. Oh yeah, i would not do the zoom part. Omg we did that with Mh's extended family for Christmas and it was just 20 minutes of everyone yelling over each other "what are you having for dinner?!"
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 16, 2021 12:39:09 GMT -6
I tried that last year to a degree. It really just made me more sad/annoyed, bc he was so cute and excited over how it looked like Elmo threw up all over the kitchen, and all the olds on Zoom were trying to talk over each other and yelling at Max to "look at the camera". Guys. He's one, he's focused on the one piece of tape slightly coming off some wrapping paper. I know he won't remember, and I'll probably buy more Paw Patrol crap than I need for 3 people on Etsy, but I'm just over not being able to see everyone and letting them all see how big he's gotten and how sweet and crazy. Oh yeah, i would not do the zoom part. Omg we did that with Mh's extended family for Christmas and it was just 20 minutes of everyone yelling over each other "what are you having for dinner?!" Exactly. If we're all going to be yelling, it should be in person, DAMN IT.
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Post by notblanche on Feb 16, 2021 13:05:53 GMT -6
I tried that last year to a degree. It really just made me more sad/annoyed, bc he was so cute and excited over how it looked like Elmo threw up all over the kitchen, and all the olds on Zoom were trying to talk over each other and yelling at Max to "look at the camera". Guys. He's one, he's focused on the one piece of tape slightly coming off some wrapping paper. I know he won't remember, and I'll probably buy more Paw Patrol crap than I need for 3 people on Etsy, but I'm just over not being able to see everyone and letting them all see how big he's gotten and how sweet and crazy. Oh yeah, i would not do the zoom part. Omg we did that with Mh's extended family for Christmas and it was just 20 minutes of everyone yelling over each other "what are you having for dinner?!" 10/10 do not recommend. We had a zoom for J's first birthday in December and I hated it. It was what you described exactly. And I left katespade in the waiting room in the chaos :/ lemondrop all i can offer is empathy. i've really struggled with my baby being 14 months old and no one has met him. We don't have any family to bubble with. it's so fucking hard.
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Post by notblanche on Feb 16, 2021 13:08:52 GMT -6
sending warmth to you, Rebel. i hope the power comes back on soon and love to you treeofheaven.
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Post by hawkeye2015 on Feb 16, 2021 13:18:00 GMT -6
Oh yeah, i would not do the zoom part. Omg we did that with Mh's extended family for Christmas and it was just 20 minutes of everyone yelling over each other "what are you having for dinner?!" Exactly. If we're all going to be yelling, it should be in person, DAMN IT. We did zoom/facetime at Christmas, but we did it in shifts and it was much more manageable. Like we pulled out the gifts from Aunt a and called just their house then moved on. So much less yelling than Thanksgiving.
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byjove
Ruby
Posts: 15,187 Likes: 74,057
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Post by byjove on Feb 16, 2021 13:23:28 GMT -6
Today I am feeling good. But it's a roller coaster for sure. Second guessing everything. I'm not super motivated about work right now. When my children are home for days they create play scenes over every inch of the house (which is great), but then on day 3 I turn into meltdown mode and EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE CLEANED OR I WILL LOSE MY EVER LOVING MIND. Rinse and repeat. DD1 is really struggling with online learning and wanting to have play dates with friends. School will *likely start hybrid next month, but they are making us commit to our just checking casual interest if you want your kid to do hybrid decision from December, when cases were soaring, they were going to try and come back in January, and they weren't going to guarantee your teacher or school. So that seems fair. Not to say that if they actually start in March, the school year will be practically over and you still don't know if your teacher will be in the classroom or virtual with just some kids in the classroom. They also aren't letting the kids use the playgrounds. I'm not sure that's any better than home? I hate everything about it. Actually it's more like I hate everything and everybody 60% of the time. I'm really looking forward to sunshine and summer. I'll have both girls home, we have a few weeks of nature-y camps planned, and two weeks at the beach. We had to come to terms with NH not working out again this weekend (even though camp will be operating), so that was hard. I miss my family- though it's getting to the point where it's been so long since we've seen them and I don't know when we'll see them again that they are more of an abstraction. Solo walks in the frigid air, Bridgerton novels, and knitting are getting me through right now. Also my MIL is the real MVP and has been taking the girls for an afternoon every weekend. So thankful to have her hyperlocal.
*I'll believe it when I see it. No one hold your breath.
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Post by katespade on Feb 16, 2021 13:28:26 GMT -6
Oh yeah, i would not do the zoom part. Omg we did that with Mh's extended family for Christmas and it was just 20 minutes of everyone yelling over each other "what are you having for dinner?!" 10/10 do not recommend. We had a zoom for J's first birthday in December and I hated it. It was what you described exactly. And I left katespade in the waiting room in the chaos :/ lemondrop all i can offer is empathy. i've really struggled with my baby being 14 months old and no one has met him. We don't have any family to bubble with. it's so fucking hard. I felt bad because we didn’t get to properly wish J a happy day! I’m definitely struggling. I think I’d be struggling with adjusting to 2 kids anyway, but Covid adds a whole new level to it.
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Rebel
Gold
Posts: 934 Likes: 9,437
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Post by Rebel on Feb 16, 2021 13:30:26 GMT -6
When my children are home for days they create play scenes over every inch of the house (which is great), but then on day 3 I turn into meltdown mode and EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE CLEANED OR I WILL LOSE MY EVER LOVING MIND. Rinse and repeat. Omg. This is me. Like I cannot handle it anymore. I would pay a LOT of money in therapy if someone could make me not this way.
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redbears
Sapphire
Posts: 4,562 Likes: 13,210
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Post by redbears on Feb 16, 2021 13:40:13 GMT -6
The closer we get to March, the worse I feel. It sounds crazy, but I miss the newness of the pandemic. The 'we've been doing this for a full year and the same day is repeating itself every single day' is wearing on me. Like jaygee I made a commitment to exercising regularly again. I've been doing really well with that since January. I have released my screen time/we don't go outside enough guilt. I feel hopeful though that my kids will be back in school 5 days a week at some point this year. I'm hoping my gym will start group classes inside again.
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elle
Ruby
Posts: 17,516 Likes: 112,523
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Post by elle on Feb 16, 2021 14:09:08 GMT -6
lemondrop all i can offer is empathy. i've really struggled with my baby being 14 months old and no one has met him. We don't have any family to bubble with. it's so fucking hard. I could've written this, though my baby just turned 15 months. I was so sick Dec/Jan of last year that I sort of missed out since her newborn phase was even more of a blur than usual. And then right when I was starting to feel better and like going out and doing stuff, lockdowns hit. My baby hasn't met anyone aside from her pediatrician and the nurses in the office (not counting those who saw her when she was new). It's strange and heartbreaking. I just want my parents to meet her.
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Post by katespade on Feb 16, 2021 14:15:17 GMT -6
Honestly I think the biggest thing I’ve been struggling with is my anxiety and feelings of guilt with the baby in the house. Oddly enough, I felt like making calculated risk decisions when I was pregnant was easier.
We’re trying to sell our house- it’s going on the market in a few weeks. In normal times, I’d take the kids to my parents up north without hesitating. Now? I am feeling super guilty about doing it, but relocating there for a few weeks while H handles everything is the best option I have. Staying here while countless people traipse through my home (masked, but still) doesn’t sound super safe either and it’ll be a massive challenge to keep DD from making messes all the time. I’m driving straight there and staying put (we can’t really go anywhere anyway).
My OB put me on Zoloft to manage my postpartum anxiety that is like 95% Covid related and it is helping. But yeah. I would not say I’m at 100%.
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Post by bitsandpieces on Feb 16, 2021 14:26:22 GMT -6
First post in HIH. Mental health thread is my jumping in point apparently.
I'm definitely feeling the COVID fatigue these past few months. I can relate to everyone with their COVID babies that no one has met. My youngest turns 1 I April. I'm thankful that my family and ILs have met baby. But we went to the zoo Sunday as a socially distanced outing and I could tell his mind was blown by being somewhere other than the five places he's ever been in his life and seeing actual people.
Whoever said toddlers be toddlering is also right. Add two dogs and I'm often at the end of my rope. I upped my meds a few weeks ago, but I need to find some action items to get me to a better, healthier place as well.
I live in AZ. So grateful for the weather this time of year. So frustrating to constantly be one of the worst places in the world for COVID spikes.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2021 14:27:43 GMT -6
Ls2012 you are not pathetic and neither is anyone else struggling. I have had that feeling too because some people seem to be doing fine and I’m very much not, but comparing ourselves to others is almost never a good idea. We’re all unique and our strengths and weaknesses are unique as well as our coping mechanisms. You’re doing great because you’re trying hard and doing your best. ❤️
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Ls2012
Amethyst
Posts: 7,364 Likes: 32,621
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 16, 2021 14:32:40 GMT -6
Ls2012 you are not pathetic and neither is anyone else struggling. I have had that feeling too because some people seem to be doing fine and I’m very much not, but comparing ourselves to others is almost never a good idea. We’re all unique and our strengths and weaknesses are unique as well as our coping mechanisms. You’re doing great because you’re trying hard and doing your best. ❤️ Thank you. Logically, I know this to be true but it's getting harder and harder to remember.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2021 14:36:36 GMT -6
So I’m in the same state as many of you, hitting a wall but with good days and bad days. Some days I wish I could just stay in bed all day but I want to be there for DS, who is such a trooper. I’m an HSP empath and I took a course in Dec/Jan that focused on taking good care of myself so I can thrive with this trait. The biggest takeaway for me was accepting that I take in a ton of information and emotions that needs to be processed, and I need to prioritize self care in a proactive way. I think this could apply to a lot of us here. Rather than waiting until you’re burnt out or at the end of your rope, build your self care into your daily/weekly routine and just do it, even if you’re feeling good. It fills up the tank so you have more to give to the people around you. And with so many of us already at the end of our ropes, we probably need to focus as much of our energy as we can on refilling our tanks. Also self care looks different for everyone, so think about what actually leaves you feeling rejuvenated and refreshed and cared for. Anyway. I’m grateful for this space - hearing from you all having the same thoughts and struggles makes me feel less alone. So thank you.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2021 14:37:11 GMT -6
Ls2012 you are not pathetic and neither is anyone else struggling. I have had that feeling too because some people seem to be doing fine and I’m very much not, but comparing ourselves to others is almost never a good idea. We’re all unique and our strengths and weaknesses are unique as well as our coping mechanisms. You’re doing great because you’re trying hard and doing your best. ❤️ Thank you. Logically, I know this to be true but it's getting harder and harder to remember. I know it is, trust me. That’s why we need these reminders. 😊
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Post by Wtfshouldmynamebe on Feb 16, 2021 14:38:22 GMT -6
bitsandpieces, welcome. I have such a hard time thinking that I am days away from being stuck inside this house for a year now. During summer I at least had a weekend retreat to my camper, but winter is harder. I agree that the house cleaning is the worst - no matter what I do, it looks like a bomb went off
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Post by catspajamas on Feb 16, 2021 14:39:25 GMT -6
So many hugs to all of you <3 and welcome, bitsandpieces <3 My problems feel small compared to what so many are dealing with, but I am struggling. My thyroid apparently went haywire - which, knowing that now, makes a lot of things over the last six months or so make so much sense - and I'm still adjusting to the meds, I'm not sure the type/dosage is correct and I am sure my levels aren't where they need to be yet but it's all brand new. Dealing with a lot of bad headaches, extreme exhaustion, hair loss and breakage (big chunks of hair breaking off at my crown - awesome), and sudden, significant weight gain (20+ lbs). I'm trying not to be shallow but these sudden, negative effects on my appearance are really tough. I feel awful, I look awful, it's just a lot. It is nice to not be bombarded with awful news all day every day, though! But still I think I'm going to take a social media break for Lent (not this board, and not my BMB byjove roloma!) and just reset a bit. After the last 4 years I'm like, hardwired to refresh Twitter a million times a day. It needs to stop.
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Post by catspajamas on Feb 16, 2021 14:46:27 GMT -6
treeofheaven I missed the poof, but I think I get the gist and am sending many hugs your way <3
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 16, 2021 14:46:52 GMT -6
bitsandpieces - welcome! For reeeeeal with the toddler and 2 dogs.
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trueblue
Sapphire
Posts: 4,502 Likes: 16,235
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Post by trueblue on Feb 16, 2021 14:48:01 GMT -6
catspajamas Hashimoto’s? I was dx’d a few years ago. Always happy to talk and share what i have learned.
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Post by orangebird2020 on Feb 16, 2021 14:54:08 GMT -6
I agree with others that the closer we get to mid-march, the worse I feel about it all.
I have struggled with making decisions about work and juggling at home schooling and all else of being a person, mother, wife. I feel like I have been in a constant state of inability to focus or complete anything. I just don't want to continue this way and hope for a more normal routine by August. That is too many more months for me right now.
My DH is also now working more out of town and that will likely continue through the Summer.
I am considering taking off work from March until August. I have thought of reducing hours, but I don't think I will realistically do less.
I can focus on my only and we can at least hike and do more daytime activities instead of waiting for work to be done.
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Post by catspajamas on Feb 16, 2021 14:54:33 GMT -6
catspajamas Hashimoto’s? I was dx’d a few years ago. Always happy to talk and share what i have learned. Thank you! As far as I know, just hypo - but my OB ordered the labs and they just tested TSH and FT4. I have upcoming appts with a new primary care dr next month and an endo in May, so I hope to know more then once they run a full panel. I do have a question on meds, I will send you a PM. Thank you <3
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Minerva
Ruby
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Post by Minerva on Feb 16, 2021 14:57:55 GMT -6
So many hugs to all of you <3 and welcome, bitsandpieces <3 My problems feel small compared to what so many are dealing with, but I am struggling. My thyroid apparently went haywire - which, knowing that now, makes a lot of things over the last six months or so make so much sense - and I'm still adjusting to the meds, I'm not sure the type/dosage is correct and I am sure my levels aren't where they need to be yet but it's all brand new. Dealing with a lot of bad headaches, extreme exhaustion, hair loss and breakage (big chunks of hair breaking off at my crown - awesome), and sudden, significant weight gain (20+ lbs). I'm trying not to be shallow but these sudden, negative effects on my appearance are really tough. I feel awful, I look awful, it's just a lot. It is nice to not be bombarded with awful news all day every day, though! But still I think I'm going to take a social media break for Lent (not this board, and not my BMB byjove roloma!) and just reset a bit. After the last 4 years I'm like, hardwired to refresh Twitter a million times a day. It needs to stop. Ugh. I’m sorry you are dealing with crappy thyroid stuff too. I hope that you and your doctor are able to figure out the med dosage and that you start feeling a lot better soon. ❤️
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redbears
Sapphire
Posts: 4,562 Likes: 13,210
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Post by redbears on Feb 16, 2021 15:02:56 GMT -6
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